Feathers, Fur, and Shadows
01. Lost and confused
by Assilsasta
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Delilah let the bundle of books fall from her talons the short distance to the ground as she landed. She brushed her black school uniform skirt down and straightened the matching black vest and tie before letting the thick winter cloak fall over her wings to block with chilled breeze, then pulled the fur trimmed hood over the shirt feathers of her head. She was out early again, well before sunrise, at the nearly deserted private school campus. The grouping of large gothic buildings seemed eerie in the low light of the predawn hours. The red and white stone structures loomed over her into the dark sky. When her father had first brought her here in the daylight, nearly two weeks ago, the place seemed more frightening and overwhelming to her. The students teaming the halls, rushing from one class to the next, the noise and chatter of then passing furs as they commented on her muddy brown colored feathers. She had listened and taken in each word that was spoken, the rumors had started already and she did not know what to expect.
She picked up the small bundle of books, held together with a leather strap, and clutched them to her chest with her wings as she started toward the administration building. The gothic architecture of the private school was more welcoming to her in the quiet solitude of the early morning. The school itself housed all the grades from kindergarten through high school, separated into the different buildings on campus. She stopped at the door to the administration building, which also housed most of the grade school classes only to find the door was locked. She walked back down the stairs to the stone benches that sat around the large lonely willow tree, it low hanging branches and foliage almost bowing in welcome to her to the old world institution of learning. She pulled her legs up into the cloak, crossing them and hiding her bare feet from the late winter chill. She continued to clutch the small bundle of books to her chest as her eyes closed and mind drifted in the dark early hours.
It had been two years since she had last attended school. The accident that took her mother from them had taken its toll on her, both physically and mentally. She had spent much of the first year after relearning how to walk and fly. The next year had revealed the other, non-visible damage wrought by the accident. The days of solitude and loneliness had their own effect on her as she was attended to by nurses only when she needed, and visited by her father only in the dark hours of the night when he could break free from his work. She had grown accustomed to the silence and solitude as her body healed enough to begin the therapy to rebuild her strength. Only when they had attempted to place her back in the public school did they see her new aversion to crowds and people. Back then, she did not think much of it, keeping to herself and studying her free time away. The solitude had become her comfort, but also her undoing.
Delilah was snapped back to reality as she heard a heavy weight dropped into the bench next to her. She looked out from under the hood to see a slightly older maned wolf sitting beside her, his arms spread across the back of the bench, one even behind her shoulder, as he looked up at the old willow tree. The red and black fur of his face and muzzle seemed to have a sheen to it even in the fading moonlight. She looked at the one blue eye that was near her as the white vapors of his breath rolled out of his snout.
“Just cold enough to snow,” he started to say as he looked into the sky above, “But still to warm for it to hold to the ground.”
“Excuse me?” she asked not sure if he was talking to himself.
“The weather,” He replied as he looked down at her, his mismatched blue and brown eyes meeting hers, “It at that time of year where we can still see the snowfall, but it will never land, rejected by the warming of the season.” He smiled at her as he went on, “I didn’t expect to see anyone here this early. I’m still getting used to the time change from Africa.”
His smile was as confusing as his words. Why was he here? Why was he talking to her? Was he planning something like her classmates from the public school? She licked her beak as the memories of a year ago faded in and out of the edges of her mind, only the faint memory of the taste of iron on her tongue. She only remembered fragments of the night after the incident at the public school. Delilah was jarred back into the moment as he continued to speak.
“I’m Jasper, by the way,” the large wolf said as he smiled down at her, “I just moved here from Africa… well more like got dumped here on my cousin by my parents. They said something about needing to get a proper finish to my education here in the states. Not that I really mind, it’s something new. I’ve never been to a school like this before. Mostly attended small tribal schools that my mother thought, but those were mostly just simple math and reading, mostly the Bible translated into their language. She had me do,” He tossed his paws up into air quotes as he added “REAL studies after the classes were over. Math, science, history, all that stuff could put me to sleep the way she went over it. I think I did better when she would just leave me alone to figure it out.” He looked down at her, “so what’s it like, going to a real school I mean. Having teachers that actually know the subjects and aren't just stumbling through home school curriculum?”
She watched his eyes as he spoke, still confused by the sudden intrusion of her solitude. He seemed different for the school mates from a year ago, strange and disconnected from the world. As she listened she could feel her heart race and her vision began to blur. His words faded into a distant mumble as the dark morning seemed to waver on the edge of her vision. She felt the books drop from her wings as she looked into the washed-out visage of the wolf that now spoke at her wordlessly. Her body began to move without her direction as she stood and backed away from the strange smiling wolf. She watched to colorless wolf’s smile turn to a frown as she moved away slowly. She felt herself lifted into the air as her wings flapped and the world slowed to a crawl around her. Everything melted into shapeless blackness as the chill of the night air sifted through her feathers.
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Jasper watched as the young finch lifted into the air wordlessly, her small bundle of books discarded on the stone bench where she sat only moments ago, unsure of what he had done wrong to make the girl flee. The maned wolf sat confused by the visible change he saw as he tried to make small talk. The girl’s expression had shifted from surprise when he first looked down at her, through fear, to something he could not place as she gracefully left the ground and flew into the darkness above, the black uniform and cloak hiding her from him in the night sky. He slumped down on the bench, held in place only by his arms draped across the back.
His cousin had been right. Americans are different for the tribal Africans. He knew that well enough, but he didn’t think that just talking to someone would run them off. Shelly had told him that his size was intimidating. He was only fifteen but already stood six feet tall, and still growing. He stood head and shoulders over most of the tribal jackals in Africa, but they seemed to accept him well enough. He tried to run the explanation of cliques and social standings through his mind again, his cousin’s words still more confusing than anything he had ever heard. He wondered just what clique he would end up in. He didn’t think of himself as a jock or sports nut, though he did love to play football.
“Soccer damn it,” he scolded himself for not translating the common world word for the American naming of the sport, even after hours of practice after his cousin had laughed at him for the use of the mis-matched sport name. So many things were different now, almost like moving to a completely new world where nothing made sense.
He stood and started to walk to the administration building as the first rays of the sun started to peek over the eastern trees. He snatched up the bird girls bundle of books, not wanting to be the person who let them get stolen or lost. As he walked through the door to the administration building the hum of the florescent lights invaded his ears. The strange new sound felt out of place and disconcerting to him as he watched the few faculty members move through the halls, into and out of different rooms.
He scanned the small signs that stood out from the walls near the doors as he passed one office after another, until he came to one labeled Administration. As soon as he stepped through the door the sound of the lights was drown out by the commotion of students chatting as they waited in line before the three foot high wooden counter that separated them from the three office workers. A young Maine coon in her mid-twenties stood by the counter shuffling small pieces of paper as she handed them to the mix of cub in line. Uncertain of the proper thing to do, Jasper fell into place at the end of the line. He stood there contemplating the number of students that were inline and the fact that none had passed by him from the school entrance when he sat talking to the young bird girl. Overwhelmed by Curiosity he tapped an opossum in front of him on the shoulder to get his attention.
As the slightly older boy turned to look at the taller maned wolf with a look of discontent he asked, “What do you want?” The opossum’s discontent with being interrupted evident in his voice.
Slightly taken back by the other student’s attitude, Jasper asked apprehensively, “Um… When did everyone get here?”
The opossum scoffed as he rolled his eyes, “Noob. This is the sick line for getting a pass to the nurse's office before class. Everyone that stays in the dorms has to get one if they need to go, or think they are sick or something.”
Stopping for a moment, the thought of dorms and students staying on campus being one of the new things his cousin had mentioned, He stumbled through an apology. “I’m.. Um sorry. It’s my first day, so it all kind of new to me.”
“No shit?” the opossum retorted in a mocked voice of shock, “And I bet you’re one of the scholarship kids too. Mommy and Daddy proud of their little private school charity case?”
Unsure of what to say to the smug boy, Jasper stood in stunned silence. His cousin had warned him that things would be different here, but this was more than he had expected. The reactions from the first two people he meet made him rethink his entire plan of trying to fit in the way he had always done in the past. He ran the distant memories of all the small tribes and tight knit family groups that he had come to know as normal through his mind as he waited silently in line for his turn. His mild disconnection from reality was broken when the voice of the feline behind the counter asked, “And what are you in for, sore throat or random P.E. excuse?”
“Um… I’m not… I.. um… A bird girl dropped this out front and flow off. I just thought I should turn it into lost or found… or something.”
The Maine coon looked up from her small stack of slips as she realized it was not another nurse request. Her eyes went wide as she looked at the bundle of books held together by the leather strap and the tall maned wolf that held them. “You must be Jasper,” she said as she stuffed the sick slips under the counter. “To be honest I’ve never seen a maned wolf before. You’re a lot taller than I expected.”
“Excuse me?” He asked as he tilted his head.
“Oh, I’m sorry, “ she started with a smile, “I’m Miss Adams, the student adviser for grades sixth through eighth. So you’re on my roster. I like to know my students so it’s nice that you came in and I didn’t have to hunt you down like I usually have to do.” She scrunched her eyebrows together as she continued, “You’re here mighty early. Was there something wrong with your schedule or did you need something?”
“Oh, no ma’am,” he said as he looked down at her, “I just couldn’t sleep, the time zone change and all. But I came in because that girl dropped her books and…”
“Here, I can take those,” she said as he reached her paw toward him, “I’m sure whoever lost them will come looking for them. Anyway, since you’re already here, how about we have a little talk in my office?”
“Well ma’am, I should be getting to class, I don’t want to be late on my first day.”
She smiled at him as he placed her paw on his over the counter. “Your first class is homeroom, where they basically just take attendance for the day. You won’t miss anything since you don’t have any assignments to work on, and you can never get in trouble for being in the office. I understand you’re coming from a basic home school environment where your Mother was teaching you while your family traveled on mission trips. We don’t expect you to learn the ropes in one day and I am here to help you.”
Jasper’s blushed was hidden under his red fur he felt the soft touch of the main coon. He glanced down at his paw a moment before he jerked away from her touch. “I think.. Um.. I should… find… my way to class,” he stammered as he took a few steps backward. “th… thank you for holding onto that girl’s books… Miss… um… Adams.” He swiftly turned and nearly slammed face first into the door before he stopped just in time to grab the knob and retreat into the hallway.
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Shellie Adams watched as the obviously embarrassed wolf fled from the office. As the door swung shut behind him, leaving only the office workers in the room, a pangolin leaned back from her desk, the rusty brown of her thick scaled head a stark contrast to the white fabric of her blouse, as she said, “Looks like you have another one with a crush on his guidance counselor.”
“Shut it, Lexie, he’s just a young man not sure of the world around him.” She turned and looked at her companion as she continued, “Besides, It’s his first time in a place without his mother dictating what’s right and wrong, he’s bound to have conflicting emotions when dealing with something THIS hot.” The main coon waved her paws down her body as if Vanna White presenting a prize on a game show.
Lexxie rolled her eyes as he looked back at the paperwork on her desk, “you are so full of yourself Shelly. One of these days one of those boys is going to take your flirting seriously and do something about it.”
“And if it is that chunk of wolf hunk, I might just let him.” Shellie stood up from her place leaned against the counter and started across the open room to her side office as she added, “and if we play our cards right, we both might get to play a little.”
“You are such a slut,” the pangolin said with a smirk on her muzzle, “I Just hope you don’t bite off more than you can chew with these boys.”
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Delilah stood for a moment as the cold wind cut through her feathers while she looked down from the top of the bell tower. She wracked her brain as she thought through the last few moments that she could remember. The tall wolf that had talked to her was all that came to mind, his words lost in the sound of rushing blood and her pounding heart. The winter cloak flowed behind her in the sudden strong wind as she stood there unsure of why or how she had arrived at the lofty perch. She looked down at her shaking hands as she turned them over looking for hints of crimson, and licked her beak in search of the taste of iron, as her mind grasped for fleeting images of red stained fur and dark fluid. Was it just memories of a year ago, or were they new. The gaps in her memory seemed to come more frequently, and the shadowy images less defined.
As she stood, shivering from both the cold and the fear of not remembering, one thing entered her mind, Miss Adams, the Maine coon that she and her father had spoken with on their visit to the school when she was registered. Her smile was welcoming and she had said her office was always open if she needed someone to talk to. But how could she talk about thing she couldn’t even remember?
She looked down at the long shadows cast by the tall bell tower in the early dawn as students from off campus began to arrive at the school. The small figures seemed to taunt her as she pulled her cloak out of the wind and back around her. She crouched down, nearly sitting with her knees to her chest under the thick fabric, her wings hugged tight to her chest as she looked over the courtyard in search of her bundle of books from her lofty perch. She quivered at the thought of the bundle being in the paws of another, the three old hardbound books had not left her possession since the day she could hold them again. She had latched onto the three literary classics after her recovery, the three last books her mother had read with her before the accident. The thought of having lost the last connection she had to the older finch brought the sound of blood being pumped through her veins heavy and loud in her ears as she watched the tiny, distant figures go about their lives, oblivious to her observation. Her only hope was that maybe someone had taken them to the office and left them for her to retrieve.
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The grey beak of the finch poked just past the edge of the fur trimmed hood of the cloak as she moved through the crowded hall of students and faculty. The flowing torrent of bodies seemed to part as she walked, as if pushed away by an unseen force that emanated from her. She peered out from under her hood while she slowly navigated to her destination. Her black eyes meet those of passersby for only an instant as they quickly looked away from her, their expressions shifting between curiosity and anxiety. Chatter fell silent in the small sphere of tension that surrounded her as she moved. She watched as a pair of ferrets whispered between glances in her direction, only to see them swiftly escape down a side hall at their first opportunity to withdraw from her path.
She felt the change in the air as the door to the administration office closed behind her, blocking out much of the commotion in the hall. She looked down at the gray barber carpeting of the room, a soft and welcome change under her feet from the dark black marble laced with white and gray veins of the main hall. She quiet of the nearly deserted room was also a much needed deviation from the hallway outside. Slowly she looked up to meet the eyes of the pangolin the stood at the counter waiting for her to approach. Her soft smile seemed out of place in the world around the young finch. The only one she had seen that day other than the one on the maned wolf. The look was disconcerting to her, forcing her to question the pangolin’s motives. So many smiles had brought nothing but pain and lies, smiles that only covered deceit and trickery. The melodic voice that accompanied the smile gave nothing to add any comfort or reassurance. For Delilah, as it felt like a distorted mimic of the voice and smile of her mother, the last thing she could remember as the years slowly claimed the few remnants of the older finch from her mind. She shook her head slightly as the almost alien words came to her again, now audible and understandable.
“It’s nice to see you again Miss. Nicholson,” the pangolin said as she leaned on the counter, “How can I help you today?”
Softly she spoke, only audible due to the silence of the room, “I lost my books, my mother’s books.”
“Oh, dear, I think a young man did bring a bundle of book in earlier, “the older woman said as she knelt down behind the counter, “Let me see if I can find them.”
Delilah felt the shivers of anxiety and confusion rush through her body as she suddenly felt utterly alone in the room with the two remaining office workers. She looked down at the carpeting again as she felt the rush of dizziness and the hollow sound of her heartbeat grow distant. She looked up at the vacant counter as she felt her beak move with the word, “Is Miss. Adams in?” only moments before reality faded to darkness.
“You gave us a bit of a scare Miss, Nicholson,” an odd voice said as Delilah opened her eyes. She found herself in a smaller office laid out on a couch. Across from her at a small desk was the main coon cat that seemed to be the only person she had found beyond her father that did not make her question motive or plans. Something was different about her, about the way she felt. “Miss Broom found your books. They were brought in earlier by a young wolf named Jasper Watson, have you meet him?”
Delilah’s mind drifted past the solid memories and she shadowy fragments as the morning's events tried to play out. “He… he tried to talk to me.”
“Did you have another episode?”
“Y-yes.”
“You know you can tell me about them right?” the feline woman stood, walked over to the couch and sat on the end by the young bird’s feet, “That is part of why I am here, to help you.”
“He… He was talking…” Delilah paused for a moment as she tried to remember, the fragments that she knew were from the past bleeding in, and new fragments, dreamlike moments of cold dark skies. The sudden feel of something small crushed and torn in her talons flowed in, clear as the vision of the gray and black striped fur of the feline that sat intently listening to her. “I… I did something… I think… I don’t know… All I remember is looking down from the bell tower… before coming here.”
“It’s okay Delilah, you didn’t hurt anyone,” Shelly looked into the finch’s black eyes with as much reassurance as she could manage. “Do you want me to call your father?”
She sat up quickly as the words sprang from her beak, almost as if beyond her control, “NO!” she froze for a moment as the look of surprise and shock faded from the Maine coon’s face. “I… I don’t want to leave. I want to stay… for now.”
“Okay,” Shellie said the reassuring smile once again on her face, “Then let’s get you to class, your first period should be starting soon. If you have any problems just come back here.”
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Most of his day passed just as his cousin had described it to him. Home room was no more than taking attendance, morning announcements and a quick introduction of him by the teacher, only to be rushed off to the next class a few minutes later. Everyone seemed to be in a hurry as he made his way between the classes. He started to see the cliques his cousin had talked about between classes and even congregating in the rooms until class started. Jasper had almost made a game of trying to figure out how the groups fit together from one class to another. Often it was easy, the jocks and sports players were easy to pick out, there were the obvious bookworms or nerds as she had called them. Other groups were not as easy to decipher and in every class there was one or two that did not fit into any group, though he had seen some of them later in their defined space in the schools ecology. He found it almost amusing until he thought about how he fit into this little world.
He found that unlike the others he was often in one of two places in all of his classes. Either he was well ahead of the curriculum and felt out of place or behind and somewhat mocked by his teachers and peers for his rudimentary knowledge of what must have been considered common sense. He knew his parents and the other missionary teachers had done their best to get him ready for this transition into traditional school, but now it all seemed so distant. He was fluent in ten different African languages, but was looked down upon when he only knew basic Spanish. He was even further confused by the looked of anger and animosity he got when a group of girls gathered around him during a break in class and nearly forced him to speak in and explain other languages. The social dynamics of this co-ed system of boy being taught alongside girls seem wrong. The openness of girls talking to and even touching boys felt almost taboo. even though his parents and cousin had told him about it many times over the years.
He had got used to the idea of needing to wait for the class instructor to introduce him before assigning him a seat. As he entered his one advanced class, chemistry, he watched the collection of what his cousin would call science geeks rolled in and take their places at the small workstations, each situated with beakers, test tubes and gas nozzles for the Bunsen burners. Among the class was one or maybe two jocks, he was still getting used to classifying his fellow students by their posture and demeanor. He waited patiently as the bell rang signaling the beginning of class with no instructor in sight. Jasper began to get nervous as the quiet conversations between the paired up students slowly got louder and eventually moved across tables and groups. He felt almost as if he was on display for the entertainment of those around him. Several times he heard his name mentioned in hushed tones as one or more students would look his was.
He was suddenly relieved when a large owl walked through the door and the room fell almost eerily silent. That was until he saw the small cloaked figure that followed him into the room. It was the bird that had fled from him earlier in the day. As she passed him in her close pursuit of the teacher, the whispers began again, so hushed that he could not make out a word. The entire class jumped as a wooded pointer smacked against the podium at the front of the room.
“Good morning class,” the owl began, “Today we have two new students joining us. The first some of you may have meet in other classes, Mister Jasper Watson. We also have the young Miss Delilah Nicholson joining us as an advanced student from the middle school.” Almost as soon as the owl said her name the whispers erupted between the students once again. With a second loud crack of the long wooden pointer against the podium he added, “We will have none of that in this classroom.” His stern voice almost frightening to Jasper. “Miss. Sweets, Please move to the back desk and pair up with Miss. Nicholson so that you can help her get up to speed. Mister Watson, Please take the seat Miss. Sweats left next to Mister Turner. Everyone else begin where we left off Friday with the project on page 127.”
Jasper watched as the rabbit girl grudgingly grabbed her stuff and moved to the vacant workstation at the back of the room. Before she moved, the young brown feathered girl looked up at him, her black eyes meeting his mismatched blue and brown. He was suddenly drawn deep into the emotionless black pools as she said softly, “I am a finch, not a sparrow.” he cocked his head to the side slightly confused by her comment as she walked to the table with the rabbit girl. He continued to watch her as he walked to the table by the gazelle boy. She sat on the high stool, still short in comparison to her older lab partner, but she seemed more out of place than her actual size, as if she was from an entirely different world. As her winter cloak fell away from her smaller frame he noted that unlike the other female uniforms, hers had no sleeves. Both the shirt and jacket were more vests than those around her. He assumed that the thick ridged primary feathers were the reason she differed from the others.
As Jasper took his place next to the other boy he heard him say in a hushed tone, “You really dodged a bullet on that one, I just feel bad for Sweets.”
“What do you mean?” Jasper asked, nearly unable to keep his voice to a controlled low.
“You really are new here, aren't you? The Nicholson girl, she a freak. They tried to put her in the public school last year. My cousin goes there, he said that during their P.E. class, something happened and she fell, or got hurt or something.” The gazelle looked around as if trying to see who else was listening. “Well, her shirt got torn and he said she had scars and stitches all over her chest.”
Jasper scrunched his brow confused, “So she got hurt some time before, what does that have to do with anything?”
“No, you don’t get it,” The gazelle glanced around again as he spoke in a more hushed tone, “Her dad is some kind of mad scientist. Does all sorts of experiments on ferals and stuff. Something about genetic manipulation or blending, something like that. See how she is brown like most finches, well her dad is bright red. They say its from all the blood from his experiments stained the white from his feathers.”
“I’m still not following you here?”
“”What are you, some kind of fucktard? He experimented on her, that’s why she hasn’t been in school until now, might even be why she’s taking all these advanced classes. I hear that she’s not even really his daughter, but something he made in his lab after his wife and real daughter died in a horrible car accident. I’m telling you, it’s best to just stay away from her if you can.”
Jasper looked over his shoulder at the rabbit girl as she grudgingly showed the finch where they were in the lessons. “Dude, I think you are a few sandwiches short of a picnic.”
“What?”
“The scars on her chest could be from that accident you said her and her mother were in. And maybe she’s really just smart. I know a lot of smart kids that have a hard time interacting with people. Their brains work different, it’s hard for them to relate.”
“Fine, dude, you can think what you want, but I’m telling you, weird stuff happens to people that mess with her. I’d stay clear if I were you.”
“Whatever, let’s just get to what we are supposed to be doing here. I’m already a few month behind the power curve here.” Jasper pulled the book out and turned to the page mentioned by the instructor and began to read. Just as he was getting up to speed with the project from what he had learned from the kits and curriculum he could get on the mission field the sound for breaking glass got the attention of the entire class.
“What the fuck, you little freak?”
“I’m sorry.”
“That’s fucking acid, and you almost got it one me.”
“Watch your language Miss Sweets. Now what's going on?”
“She dropped the beaker of acid on the desk.” the rabbit girl nearly yelled as she backed away from the workspace. “Look, it’s even on her cloths…. and her…”
Before the rabbit could complete the thought the owls pushed her aside, picked up the finch and ran to the wash station where he submerged her hand and wing into a quick stream of running water that erupted from the faucet with his foot on the pedal at the base. “Okay, I need a volunteer to take Miss Nicholson to the nurse's office.”
After several moments of quiet murmuring, Jasper looked around the room at the questioning, and odd looks of the other students as the whispered to one another. “I’ll take her,” he finally spoke up.
“I’m fine, I can go alone.” The finch pushed her way out of the owl’s grasp as she walked back to the workstation to get her things.
Jasper swiftly moved from his spot to the where the finches bundle of books sat, snatching them up only a moment before she could reach for them. “I’m sorry Miss Nicholson, but But Mr. Fuller said someone needs to help you get to the nurse’s office.”
She looked at him with an almost emotionless expression as she turned to leave the classroom. He quickly trotted after her, not sure exactly why he felt to need to help her. The young girl seemed even more ostracized and outcast than he was. He followed her not really sure where the nurse’s office was in the large school. Eager to break the silence she looked down at her and asked, “So.. Um.. what happened, Miss Nicholson?”
“Delilah.”
“What?”
“My name is Delilah, you are Jasper Watson. You tried to talk to me this morning and…” She trailed off as the two continued down the hall, “I… Just dropped the vial, it happened.”
“But, the acid… on your hand… didn’t that hurt?”
She stopped, turned and looked up at him, her black eyes once again meeting his mismatched pair, “No, it didn’t, I didn’t feel anything. I never do.” He looked into her eyes, unsure of what emotion, or anything she might be feeling at that moment. “You’ve heard stories about me. You should listen to them and stay far away from me. I don’t care where you go, or what you do. Just give me my books and go away.” She reached up and took the small bundle of three books from his paw and turned to walk away.
Dumbfounded and slack jawed, Jasper stood and watched her disappear down the hall, but he could not bring himself to let her go alone. No one deserved to be alone and of everyone he had meet, this young finch was the only other person that did not fit into any of the cliques like him.
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