The Forest Through the Trees
11 Gort
by Assilsasta
(¯`·._.··¸.-~*´¨¯¨`*·~-.,-(_Confessions_)-,.-~*´¨¯¨`*·~-.¸··._.·´¯)
It had been some time since Shovel and the others had left looking for Emmet and Sonet. Donovan watched as his sisters sat with their mother at one of the smaller fires. Several of the attendees had offered the lynx woman blankets to help warm her up as the snow continued to fall. The trio of girls sat quietly as Donovan struggled with the urge to go looking for Sonnet and the need to talk to his family. So many things came to the surface so quickly in the past few hours he didn’t know how to cope or even process all the information.
Only a day ago he had a firm understanding of his family and their way of life as he knew if for years. In a matter of moments it was all shattered when his mother revealed a secret she had held since before his birth. The woman that raised him from a cub, looked like a complete stranger to him as she sat, nude beneath a blanket. What he thought was a devout Christian seemingly at peace with her current pagan surroundings, blending in as if it was natural.
He continued to hesitate as others continued to offer her warm drinks, which she accepted politely before taking a deep breath of each one before partaking. In a matter of moments his entire concept of his mother was brought into question, and now he needed real answers. He started to walk over to his family, the only real blood relations of the group that he grew up with. As he got closer his mother looked up at him apologetically.
“Donovan,” she started, “I’m so sorry.”
“Mom, what… what’s going on?” Donovan asked as he sat across from his mother and sisters. “I need to know….”
The older lynx cut him off as she said, “You all need to know the truth, and I should have told you a long time ago Don. And I am sorry for that.” She reached out and pulled her youngest daughter into the blanket with her as the child started to shiver. “There are a lot of things about our family that you all don’t know, and that I kept from you, for your father’s sake.”
“What do you mean?”Kate asked as she looked up at her mother. “and what does it mean that Don isn’t Dad’s son? Is he…”
“He’s is still your brother, and your father is still your father,”Lydia said to her middle child. “I know it must be confusing, but I got pregnant with your brother… with someone else. It was after your father and I got married, but it was a much different time in my life.” She looked over at Donovan and continued. “No matter what you think of your father now, he was a different man when I met him. He saved me from my life, and I will never be able to repay him for that. Things only changed when I got pregnant with Katie. He thought we needed to get back to church, raise you kids right. And I agreed, we needed something to feed you spiritually, and we had done nothing for that for years.”
“What,” Donovan interrupted her, “I know all that church stuff, I was there, but you’re skipping something. You’re leaving out a big part here. Who’s my father if it’s not Emmet? And what exactly did he save you from?”
Lydia sighed as her son brought her back to the one thing she had spent nearly eighteen years trying to forget. “You know how your father and the church talk about pagans and devil worshipers?” She saw knodds of her offsprings heads as she went on. “These people here are nothing like that. The people I called family were. They were everything that your father would truly find evil and disgusting. And looking back, now that I know better, they were. The things they taught us, my brothers and I, were wrong and unnatural.”
“You had brothers?” Katie asked wide-eyed.
“Yes I do,” she replied.
“Do?” Donovan questioned, “I thought your family passed away, and that is where I got the trust from.”
“No, not all of them,” the older lynx said in an almost whisper. “Just my parents and grandparents, in a house fire.” She paused for a long moment as if collecting her thoughts. “At the time, things were going well for your father and I. We, my brothers and I, agreed that bringing them back into our lives at that point would only cause problems. They set up a trust for you, so that no matter what happened you would be taken care of.”
“I don’t understand,” Donovan said, “Why me? Why didn’t they do it for you, or Katie and Faith?”
“Your sisters were never part of it,” Lydia said as she held her youngest one tight, “And we wanted no part of anything that was left.” As she spoke Donovan could tell she was still hiding something. “We all agreed that everything should go to you Don.”
“I still don’t get it. Why me? and what was IT?” Donovan leaned forward as he interrogated his mother. “What aren’t you telling us?”
Lydia fell silent for a moment, unable to make eye contact with any of her children. The uncomfortable quiet seemed to stretch on for eternity before she spoke again. “My family is… was not anything like a normal family. Nothing like our family, even with how things look now. My grandparents, your great grandparents were doomsday believers. and practitioners of… old family ways. That’s how it was always explained to us. And a pure bloodline…” She paused as she looked at her oldest child, “You are what they wanted, undiluted, pure family blood for three generations.”
Donovan sat in shocked silence for several moments while his mother’s words unraveled in his mind. “You mean… I’m…” the words rolled off his tongue filled with confusion and bewilderment.
“I met your father, Emmett, before you were conceived, Donovan. I left home because I felt something was wrong, the way they did things didn’t seem right to me. Then I met Emmett, he showed me things, brought what I believed for years into question. It wasn’t long before he showed me love and affection, more than lust and carnal need. I knew he wouldn’t understand, or be able to accept my… family, so I told him they were all dead. I went back home one last time. And that is when you were conceived, after my last night with my older brother. I never looked back until my brothers told me about the fire. They knew what my life was like, how it was different, and they didn’t want to interfere with your life because they saw it was better than how we grew up. And we… all three of us, put the inheritance in a trust for you.”
“I… we have more family?” Katie stammered as her mother paused. “You… and your brother?” the young lynx girl asked addled by what their mother was telling them. Donovan could see the questions racing through her mind as she looked longingly at him.
“It was different, Katie,” her mother said reassuringly, “Before I met your father I didn’t really understand how wrong my relationship with my family was. What we did, it wasn’t for love, like your father and I had. I’m not going to say everything your father has done in recent years has always been the right thing. But he was… is grounded in his beliefs, just as I was back then. Things will be different know that he knows… and now that you all know. I’m not sure what’s going to happen next, that’s up to your father, but remember, we both love you all, and want the best for you. Even if we show it in different ways.” She looked back at her son once again. “Donovan, you left home, like I did when I was your age, looking for something different because you knew there was something wrong with the way things were. Did you find what you were looking for?”
(¯`·._.··¸.-~*´¨¯¨`*·~-.,-(_Frozen_)-,.-~*´¨¯¨`*·~-.¸··._.·´¯)
Emmet staggered through the snow aimlessly as his life ran through his mind. That young doe crossbreed had called into question everything he was raised to believe. She had opened doors he had never wished to venture through again, digging up things best left forgotten. How could she know those things?
The Lynx man stopped and leaned against a tree and shivered in the frigid mountain wind. He wasn’t ready for what had happened. It was supposed to be a simple trip to a mountain town to bring his son home, only to find that the boy wasn’t even his. Then his wife, the woman he trusted, revealed her own dark past. Secrets and demons he never imagined she would have brought into his home. He rubbed his paws together as he wondered just what she had been teaching their children behind his back all these years. He even questioned whether they were his children at all.
He slumped against the tree and slid to the group as he wrapped his arms around himself for what little warmth they could provide over the winter coat. He wondered how Donovan could stand the temperature only half clothed. His mind wandered and faded as he thought about a nice warm potluck from his youth. Generations of his family gathered around the big table filled with food. The memory seemed distant and unreal after so many years passed with no contact from many of his now estranged cousins. Everything had fallen apart, even back then, and it was all his fault.
-----
Shovel had hung back as the bear boys trailed the lynx through the falling snow. He wasn’t concerned about the teen bears doing anything other than what they had been told to do. His concern was the lynx man and his reactions if they moved in too quickly. He had seen the nearly wild look in the man’s eyes before, and it always meant trouble. Though he was still new to the area, he wasn’t new to tracking down other furs, or the problems that could result from rushing in too soon, even if you were only trying to help. The male's trail was easy enough to follow that even the less experienced boys could keep close to him. The sound of someone calling his name ahead and to his right caught his attention and he walked towards the voice.
“Shovel, he’s up ahead about three hundred yards… I think he may have passed out,” one of the bear boys said as the small group walked up towards him.
“Probably has, guy wasn’t ready or dressed for this weather and altitude. The cold has been draining him since he bolted into the woods, always been just a matter of time till he would crash. Star sent us like he did so someone would be close enough to get him before he froze,” the big elk hybrid said, his deep voice low and heavy with concern. “He made it farther than I thought he would, gonna be a problem gettin him back if we stick togetha.” Looking to the largest of the bears he asked, “you guys know your way back, or do I need to lead ya out too?”
The boy pulled a small compass out of the pocket of his jeans and turned slowly looking at it. “North is that way,” he said pointing out the direction of north. “We’ve been going mostly east by southeast since we left town so… that way,” the young bear said turning and pointing in the direction of Winter Creek. “Without having to follow that guys tracks, about ten, maybe fifteen minutes out.”
“You got the direction right, time seems about right for ya too. Da ting is, not sure the guy has that kind of time. I can get him back soona, but that means leavin you boys on ya own.,” Shovel said looking the bear youth in the eyes.
“We can handle it Shovel, we grew up around here. We know which direction, and the time roughly. All three of us spend a lot of time outdoors so getting cold isn’t an issue for us,” the boy with the compass replied.
“Good, ‘cause da best way ta get him back is for me ta carry him and haul ass. Ting is if he come to, he’s gonna probably go all bat shit on me and I don’t need dat shit. I need ta get him back and get him warm. I’d like ta do it wit out havin ta clock him one.You boys got anyting I can keep him still wit?” the big man asked looking from one boy to another.
“You know Star Dreamer would skin us if we took off totally unprepared,” the black bear boy said unzipping his coat. He pulled out what looked to be a neatly folded blanket. “One blanket, one of those emergency blankets, and a few tie straps that should be big enough are wrapped up inside,” he said handing the small parcel to the elk hybrid. “Wrap him in the e-blanket, then the other one and strap him in, it’ll be kind of like a mummy style sleeping bag. Should keep him still and make it easier on you to get him back.” Seeing the odd look the man gave him he added, “survival trick my dad taught me back when I was a cub, never know when it may come in handy so I just always carry it with me in the winter.”
“Sounds like ya dad is a smart guy…” Shovel said taking the bundle from the boys paw. “Okay den, gi me a paw gettin dis burrito wrapped and then head fa town. I’ll coun on seein ya when ya get der.”
(¯`·._.··¸.-~*´¨¯¨`*·~-.,-(_Light and Darkness_)-,.-~*´¨¯¨`*·~-.¸··._.·´¯)
Sonnet watched as the bear teens headed back to the gathering and Shovel, the strange moose hybrid began to run in a different direction with the lynx man over his shoulder. She shuddered as she watched the pair disappear into the falling snow. She had never ventured in that direction from the grove. Whatever was over there had always given her a sick feeling, even when she was young. The feeling grew stronger now that she stood closer than she had ever been to whatever the source was. She only felt emptiness and sorrow carried on the wind, with only hints of life and growth. Her grandfather had told her it was a town, where people lived and worked together. But she could never understand why anyone would want to live in a place that felt of nothingness, not even death.
She turned back toward the grove, certain the moose man knew what he was doing. The lynx man’s heart and mind were filled with so much darkness and confusion, she felt sorry for him. He was so much older than she, yet he knew so little about the world around him, and blocked out even more. Whether he knew it now or not, she had seen the choice he had made deep down, the core of the frightened young lynx that controlled the old man from within. And now she worried about her new family, and how it would affect them.
She knelt in the snow as she put one paw on her belly. “Why, Great Mother, do you torment me with the pain and sorrow of others. Why do I see their joy and happiness , their futures to be, when you show my nothing of my own fate? I watch Dawn as he grows, and turns closer to you each day. I see his sisters as they move into their own wonderful lives. You have shown me the pain that Brother Mark has felt and lived with for years, and the new light that enters his life. Yet you show me nothing of my own, even now with your gift, I see nothing but darkness and mysteries.”
She Looked up at the sky as she pleaded with tears in her eyes, “I beg you, don’t bless her as you have blessed me. And shield Katie and Faith, Dawn’s sisters from what may come.”
(¯`·._.··¸.-~*´¨¯¨`*·~-.,-(_Confusion Compounded_)-,.-~*´¨¯¨`*·~-.¸··._.·´¯)
Katie sat beside her mother as she watched Donovan and Faith play with the wolf pups that he and his… wife... had adopted. He had changed since he left home. He was so different. Even with all that had happened between him and their father, and the revelation from their mother, he smiled and laughed. It was a side of him she had not seen in a long time. The look on his face made her long for him more, but he was farther out of her reach than he had ever been.
But there was something else new, unexpected. His wife, Sonnet was like no one she had ever met before. The dream… vision… she didn’t know what to call it...was so real, so vivid. And the kiss they shared… she shivered as she thought about it. The taboo of lusting after a girl was almost as thrilling as the longing she had for her own brother. The matter was made even worse by the fact that it was her brother’s wife.
She closed her eyes as she looked back on what she could remember of the dream. The Doe girl and her brother, nude in the soft grass field. The feel of her lips as they pressed to the other girls. The thoughts alone made her core hot. And now everything was made even more confusing by the fact that her brother was not her full brother, but only half, on their mother’s side. She gasped as she opened her eyes to see Sonnet at the edge of the woods watching her.
The young lynx looked around when the nude doe-husky started to walk toward her. Her mother had managed to get up and start talking to one of the other adults without her noticing,While Donovan was still entertaining their younger sister with a piggyback ride while he danced in a circle around a small fire with a few other teens. Her heart pounded as she realized just how alone she was.
He mind raced as she thought about her father, and what he might say if he knew what she had been fantasizing about over the past few months. Then she drifted to the question of why he had not returned, with Sonnet or any of the teens that went looking for him. Her eyes locked back onto her brother’s wife once again, then only a few feet away from her.
“Katie,” Sonnet said with a smile, “Why are you not dancing and eating? This is a celebration of the harvest and the bounty of the land.”
“I… um,” she couldn’t think of how to answer the girl without sounding like a frightened child or a pervert. “I’m just….”
Sonnet placed her paws on Katie’s lap and looked her in the eyes. "So much has changed for you in such a short time. Not only by the Mother ushering you into woman hood, and all the confusion brought with it, but the revelations of you family and the secrets they hid.”
“I…” the lynx paused as she thought about what the other girl has said. It was true, everything she knew was wrong. She wasn’t sure how she was going to deal with the new feelings she had for Don, or the strange attraction to his mate. Her heart sank as the truth of the matter surfaced. Her brother wasn’t going to go home with them. He had found a new place where he was accepted. She looked over at him as he smiled and danced with Faith. He was happy here, something she couldn’t remember seeing when he was home with them. “He’s not even really my brother, is he?” She asked the question more to close the chapter and try to move on than to get an answer from the doe.
“He is your brother as much as she is your mother,” Sonnet said as she tilted her head toward the older lynx woman. “And you have not lost him, I am his mate, and now your sister.” She smiled as she looked at the lynx. She took the other girl by the paws and pulled her up. “You are hungry, we should eat.”
Katie reluctantly went with her. For the first time she started to really look around at what was happening. Most the adults and teens were in dressed furs or other simple, homemade looking clothes, while others were in different stages of undress. She stumbled a bit as a small group of cubs no older than her sister ran past fully unclothed in the cold mountain evening as they made their way to one to a fire where an older badger sat apparently telling stories of some sort. If it were not for the scattered few dressed in modern clothing, she would have thought she had been pulled out of time and space to a different world.
“Wh… why is everyone…” Katie started to ask only to be interrupted by Sonnet.
“They call it sky clad,” the doe answered the unfinished question. “It is how the Mother sent us into this world, and it is our pleasure and honor to be like this in a sacred place at such a festive time. You,” Sonnet stopped and looked at her with a smile, “you should not be so embarrassed, you are beautiful.”
Katie blushed as she looked down to avoid looking at her half-dressed brother. “But, it’s not right to look at…”
The doe-husky smiled as she said, “You are so much like dawn, confused and questioning everything you have been told. Come, everything will be okay.”
Katie shuddered as the doe pulled her along again, and her mind flashed back the the kiss they shared in the dream.
(¯`·._.··¸.-~*´¨¯¨`*·~-.,-(_Winds of Change_)-,.-~*´¨¯¨`*·~-.¸··._.·´¯)
Donovan watched as Faith flopped down on a blanket with a group of cubs about her age who had gathered to listen to stories from an old badger. He had missed his sister over the past few months, and to have them there felt as if everything was right. Thought it was unsettling that his parents had lied to him, and to each other his entire life, things seemed to make more sense now. He turned to see his mother as she walked toward him and slipped on a heavy robe she had been given. Donovan readied himself to ask all the questions that he had now that his mother was alone.
“Don,” his mother spoke before he could get a word out, “Your… Emmett is in the hospital. It looks like he is in a coma, and suffering from exposure. He was caught in some freak snowstorm from what some of the teens were saying. And ran off into the woods farther. I need to go check on things and sign some papers. I’m going to leave the girls with you. Don’t let them get too carried away. I’m guessing you know how things can get at one of these by now.” She smiled as his jaw dropped open.
“Wait, I…” Donovan tried to stop her as she turned to leave.
Lydia looked over her shoulder at him and said, “There’ll be time for all that later. I need to take care of things… and you need to take care of your sisters.”
He stood there as she walked away. His mind addled with everything that had happened. The revelation that he had an entire side of a family that he never knew, that he was the product of incest. He knew she was right, there would be time for everything later. He looked over at his younger sisters, both seated by the storyteller. They were now the only real family he knew. His life had taken so many turns, been twisted by so many things, he wasn’t sure where the path he set out on might take him, but he was sure that it was the right one.
He looked over at Sonnet as she sat by their tent and traded their crafted goods and herbs for trinkets and candy. She nearly glowed with that unbridled excitement and energy that she had. Instantly the only thing on his mind was how he was going to tell his mother the other news, considering the marriage was such a surprise.
(¯`·._.··¸.-~*´¨¯¨`*·~-.,-(_Mother’s Intuition_)-,.-~*´¨¯¨`*·~-.¸··._.·´¯)
Lydia sat in the private room with her husband hooked up to the monitoring equipment. The trip was more than she had ever anticipated. She had hoped that Emmett would open his eyes and see that Donovan didn’t want to come home, that he would finally drop it and let the boy be. Or maybe even that her son had already moved on and left the town. What she had found was both exciting and frightening to her at the same time. No only had he found a place where he could learn more about his roots, even if he didn’t realize, he had found a girl that loved him. Emmett would never understand, he would never let things be. And she could not let him rip them apart, not after seeing the girl, and the condition she was in. She had already seen one family torn apart, she was not going to let it happen to her son, not by his paws.
She looked over the paperwork that sat in her lap and frowned. She could fix this, fix everything she had done. She just needed to be the one in control. Emmett needed to stay just where he was. She signed the last line carefully as she stood up. She walked over to his side and leaned down to whisper in his ear. She placed a paw with a small stone on his chest as she spoke. “Durmir. Deixe os seus demos interiores non perxudicar o meu fillo ou fillas. Deixe a sua alma ser ainda ata despois do becerro nace.”
As she stood up she jerked with fright at the sight of the young doctor that stood beside her. “Oh dear god, you almost gave me a heart attack.”
“I’m sorry Miss Hunter,” The buck said with a practiced smile on his face. “is there anything I can do?”
“Oh, um…” she glanced down at the stone she had placed on her husband. “Can you be sure that no one moves that until after the moon has set? It’s… a religious thing.”
“No worries Ma’am, we get requests like that all the time when people come down from Wintercreek. I’ll note it in his chart and let the nurses on staff know. The question is, since you are from out of town, are you planning on having him transferred to your normal hospital?”
“No sir,” she replied as she glanced down at the lynx. “I think we will just stay here until his is able to leave on his own.”
“That’s good,” he said as he maintained his smile. “I was going to say he is in no condition to be transferred anyway. We need to to a lot more monitoring, and see if he comes too. We will be watching the frostbite and trying to get his core temperature back to normal. He seems to be stable for now, and he has good brain activity, he is just not responding to any outside stimuli at this time. It may just be the numbness from the cold, and he may be able to leave as soon as tomorrow.”
“Don’t worry about rushing things,” She said as she looked him in the eyes, “He needs to take his time and heal all his wounds. Even the ones you can’t treat.”
“I’m sure he is,” she muttered as she looked out the window, “And he should be fine in your paws also.”
(¯`·._.··¸.-~*´¨¯¨`*·~-.,-(_Siblings_)-,.-~*´¨¯¨`*·~-.¸··._.·´¯)
Sonnet watched as Donovan sat down beside Katie. She had seen him change so much from the confusion that he lived in when they first met. In place of the mixed swirling colors that once shrouded him, she saw a solid pink hue as he sat by his sister. Yet she was surrounded by reds pinks yellow and an ever growing black darkness and brown of her self-punishment. She listened as they began to speak.
“So, how is softball going?” Donovan asked as he tried to break the awkward silence between them.
“I was voted MVP,” Katie replied
Sonnet watches as the younger girl’s aura shifted to reveal deeper reds and violets mixed with orange. The thought of the simple game that Donovan had explained to her brought forth a much different reaction that she thought it would.
“Don?” the young girl started to ask, “What’s going to happen now?”
“I really don’t know.”
“You’re not going to come home, are you?”
“Umm…” Donovan started, his aura transforming to a dirty guarded gray. “I… the thing is… See…”
“I miss you Don, And so does faith.” the young lynx looked up at her brother. “It’s… it’s not the same without you. Dad’s… he’s… I don’t know. And Mom is always worried.”
Donovan wrapped his arm over her shoulder as he said, “I’ve found a new home, Katie, Here with Sonnet. And you want to know a secret?”
Sonnet smiled as Kati’s energies faded from the confusion to a vibrant green. She could tell that just being near the girl’s brother made a great difference. She loved him, felt safe in his arms. Whether she knew it or not, he was her guardian angel.
“I think I've had my fill of secrets today.”
“Oh, no, this is a good one. Not like everything else,” Donovan said as he shook her a little. “I think it will knock Mom on her ass.”
Katie looked up at him again, ‘Really? Are you going to like come out of the closet or something?” Sonnet could hear the mild joke mixed with fear in the girl’s voice.
“Nope,” he replied, “You going to be an aunt?”
After a moment of silence the comment finally sunk in. “Wait, You mean….”
“Sonnets pregnant,” Donovan said as the younger lynx’s aura turned from the bright to a mudded green of jealousy.
“Is… are you the dad?”
“I hope so,” he replied, “It’s either me or the trees. See, we live out in a grove a few days walk into the mountains. So we don’t get many visitors.”
“So…” Katie paused as she thought about what she was going to ask, “What do you do all day, or when you need to go to the store.”
“Well, you see, this is the store for us,” Donovan said. “Sonnet has never been in town, and to be honest, I don’t think she is ready for it. She was raised out in the woods by her grandfather in a druidic tradition. She only knows a little bit about the world outside the forest. But she knows everything there is to know about these mountains. It’s really neat to watch her when she is caring for things. Like the wolf pups,” Donovan pointed over to the pile of sleeping feral pups.” See, their mother was killed by a hunter or something, and she started to take care of them. Now we’re kinda their pack I guess..”
“I guess that’s neat,” the lynx said halfheartedly.
“You know what? Maybe Mom and Dad will let you come out and spend the summer with us. It’d be like going to camp, but without the annoying counselors.”
“I don’t think Dad would ever go for that. You know how he is.”
Sonnet watched as the girls aura shifted back to the mix of pinks and reds.
“Well, we’ll see. Who knows, maybe…” Donovan trailed off and let the unspoken thought hang in the air.
“Maybe, Dad will come around or something,” Katie said as she leaned into her brother’s side. “It’d be cool to see you more.”
“Yeah it would,” Donovan echoed as he pulled his sister closer, “Yeah… it would.”
Sonnet wanted to step in and say something, but she knew it wasn’t her place, not this time. She had never really had much of a family when she was younger. And as she looked at Donovan and his sisters she felt a warmth inside that she had not felt since her grandfather had passed through the veil. It was love, but a different kind of love than she had for Donovan, something that had been missing for some time. She just hoped things would come to pass as the mother had revealed to her. She knew that things would mend themselves, but if she could be closer to it all, and they, closer to each other, then the healing could happen faster.
“Please, protect Dawn and his sisters from the darker path that has opened,. Let your light continue to shine on them,” Sonnet whispered as she leaned back with the book that he was reading to her in her lap. She wanted him close to her, but she knew that his sisters needed him more.
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