Slowly his heavy eyelid opened, world appearing blurry to him. Slowly blinking his world started to turn more sharp, movement on his left caught his attention. Turning his head a bit Raphael saw Leonardo next to bed, sitting on the chair while holding his hand. He looked so worried, so scared, dark circles under his eyes. He never hadn’t looked so shitty. Moving his hand a bit while releasing deep and slow sigh alarmed Leonardo, turning him more curious. “Raphael?” There was no answers, but the hand under his slid out, landing on his. It was a good sign. Revealed and happy gasp left Leonardo as he moved as close as he could, bending down towards Raphael’s face. “Raph?” “… Hi...” Raphael whispered silently. Tears of relief poured down from blind eyes as smile spread on Leo’s face. “You moron. You scared the shit out of me. I should let Alfred spank you hard for that.” Staring up at Leo’s face Raphael was slightly confused why Leonardo was speaking so silently. “Hey, you don’t need to whisper to me.” This confused other turtle who sat up straight. “But I’m not whispering. I’m talking normally like I always have.” For a some reason his heartbeat turned more quick. “Talk to me, Leo.” And Leonardo did. It was complete nonsense, but it help Raphael. Raphael slowly turned his head from side to side, first pressing his left ear hole against the pillow while Leo talked. Leo’s talking was silent mumbling. When Raphael turned his head to cover his right ear hole, he heard Leonardo normally. After few more experiments Raphael realized his right ear hole didn’t either hear as it should or it was completely deaf. “That fucking bitch.” Raphael silently growled as he forced himself to sit up, pain hitting his right side. “Don’t move!” Leonardo stopped Raphael moving further, pushing him gently back on the mattress. “You are still recovering.” Much for Leonardo’s surprise Raphael started to laugh carefully. “Isn’t this fucking great? I don’t have left eye, but I still have my right one. I can hear with my left ear, but not with the right. Some half fucked up thing that is.” Leonardo sat silently a moment, then cupped Raphael’s cheeks in his hands. “Raphael, you are still alive. I’m sorry you lost your hearing from your right ear, but you’re still alive...” There was soft smile with moisture in Leo’s eyes. “And that’s all what matters to me.” Laying his upper body on Raphael’s, Leonardo hugged big turtle carefully. “I’ve been so worried. You idiot scared all of us so bad.” “That’s what I do.” Raphael smirked down at Leo who kept his head on his chest eyes closed. “Then you should stop doing that.” “Sorry.” Petting Leonardo’s head Raphael sighed softly, enjoying this silent moment between the two. Leonardo was drawing a circle on Raphael’s bicep, finally daring to turn his face towards Raphael’s. “Thank you. By risking your own life you saved mine and… my brothers’ lives.” “Don’t mention it. That’s what I do.” Staying silent a moment Raphael smiled slightly. “So you consider those two as your brothers now?” “More or less, yes. I had small chat with them earlier, but I need to talk with them again, dig deeper, know all the details and all.” “Wait. You said earlier… How much time has passed since I killed her?” “5 days if I haven’t lost counting.” “5 days!? I was out cold 5 freaking days!?” “You lost a lot of blood, Raph. Don said… He said you had probably 40% chance to survive. Maybe even less.” Only now Raphael realized how close to death he had been. “It took so long before Don, with Alfred’s help, managed to fix you up. All he said after the surgery was ‘now we can only pray.’ and I’ve been praying, Raphael.” Sniffing Leonardo forced tears to stay in his eyes. “I prayed so much. Never before have I pray, but now...” “Geesh… S-stop, okay? No need to cry, hey. I’m alive.” Forcing himself to sit up slow, Leo sitting next to him on the edge of the bed, Raphael took a hold on Leo’s hand. “While I’ve been saying none gets you until over my dead body, I also have told – no, promised – you that I’ll be here for you and with you. That promise holds.” And Leonardo smiled, tapping Raphael’s hand gently. He wanted to say something, but no words came out. Instead Leo lifted Raphael’s knuckle up, kissed it softly, rubbing his cheek against it. “I know.” he softly whispered. Soft knock on the door made duo separate before Leonardo gave order to step in. Mikey opened the door, peeking inside. His face was worried until he noticed that Raphael was sitting and awake, sight brightening his face. Laughing Mikey rushed to big turtle, looking down at him smiling. “You’re awake! You’re awake, ahah! Damn, have we been worried about you!” Slowly reaching down with his arm, Mikey gave careful hug to the turtle. “Man, just wait when Don and Alfred hears about this.” “No need to threw any party.” “Which reminded me. Mikey, could you go and tell Alfred to make us something to eat?” “Sure, I’ll help him! I also will send Don here so he can check your wound.” “If you must...” Raphael groaned, watching after happy turtle. He, however, couldn’t quite understand why the brothers had been so worried about him. After all they had just met some like 6 days ago and Raphael hadn’t been all that nice to them. “They appreciate it how you helped them. If you wouldn’t had been there and stab Karai to death, she would had killed them for betraying her. At least that’s one of those little things they’ve told me.” “Well, they sure as heck will tell us more.” Leo smiled while hearing a knock, door opening. Donatello jumped in with one leg, Leonardo getting up to help him. Together they slowly came to the bed, Leo helping Donatello to sit next to Raphael who moved, giving more space. “Mikey told us the good news. It’s so relieving to see you alive and well, Raphael.” “Yeah, well, it’s good to be alive.” Donatello smiled as he opened small medical pack which Alfred, obviously, had given him. “Okay, I need you to sit still as I remove the gauze. I want to see how your wound looks like.” All three males were quiet as Donatello examined long cut which had started to heal nicely. “I must say, despite the fact the surgery was done on living room’s floor under the flashlight and with few supplies, your wound is healing quite well. Of course it will leave a scar, but...” Scanning Raphael’s body with his eyes, Don smiled at him. “It doesn’t seem like this is your first scar.” “Nope. And might not be the last either.” Raphael smirked slightly. But he felt proud of his scars. Each of them were a sign he had won. They were his trophies. Donatello cleaned wound carefully, wrapping new clean gauze on it – which made Raphael groan and roll his eye. “Do I really need that?” “For safety reasons, yes. You still have stitches too so your wound needs to be protected. You don’t want infection, trust me.” “Fucking stitches.” “I would like to keep them few more days. Then we can look at them better – and hopefully remove them.” Phone on Leo’s nightstand started to ring, Leonardo picking it up. “Yes. Ah, okay. We’ll be there. It was Alfred. Food is ready.” “Great! I’m starving!” Attempting to get up Raphael was instantly stopped by two pair of hands. “Oh no, no, no. You, sir, are not allowed to get off on this bed unless you need to use the bathroom.” Cursing with as bad words as Raphael could, he laid back down slow, curse words still flying. Donatello seemed slightly shocked while Leonardo chuckled, tapping Raphael’s shoulder. “I will ask Alfred to bring you lots of food. We won’t keep you starving here.” Watching after brothers Raphael saw similarities in them. Both had same body type, almost same body mass, their shells were almost identical except for color and scars. At it seemed that Leonardo was just super slightly taller than Don, or then it was because Don was missing his prosthesis. “Hey!” After getting brothers’ attention Raphael nodded towards Don. “Sorry about your leg.” “Ah, don’t worry. I can fix it later.” Door shut behind them, leaving Raphael in the room. Only now he realized he was in Leo’s room. Raphael had old grandfather clock in his room which didn’t stroke, but the seconds hand kept knocking silently. Laying still he listened, hearing nothing. Leonardo’s room was so quiet it was almost scary! How he could live here?! Wasn’t he going mad? This needed to be changed and Raphael knew just a way how he could get some sound in the room – unless Leonardo would get mad at him, telling him to get all the stuff out which would make a sound. Alfred brought hungry turtle food few minutes later, greeting brute with heartwarming smile. There was moist in his eyes, relief overtaking his feature. As Alfred sat on the edge of the bed, he offered to feed the turtle, but Raphael had none of that. He could still feed himself, telling Alfred to go downstairs to eat. Old butler kindly refused, saying he wanted the sit there and be with him – and it was fine by Raphael. He liked Alfred and his company. They chatted lightly as Raphael ate, laughs hurting his side if he forgot to laugh carefully. This was what Raphael also liked about Alfred. If something bad happened Alfred didn’t talk about it, dwell in it and so on. He was the one who knew how to move on instantly and have normal conversation. Like not even once had Alfred said anything about Karai, brothers or Raphael’s injury. This Raphael appreciated. Pile of empty plates shook slightly on top of each other as Alfred lifted the tray from Raphael’s lap. “If you need anything else, please, call me. I’m at your service.” “Thanks, geezer, but I can get out of the bed and go take whatever I need or want.” “Absolutely not, brute. That is against Donatello’s orders. He was very specific when he told all of us to make sure you stay in bed until your wound is healed.” “But--” “STAY in bed, Raphael. We don’t want you to head to stairs, then suddenly becoming dizzy and fall them down, do we? You would end up back in bed – for much more longer time as well. You don’t want that.” “… No.” Raphael sighed like a defeated little child. This made old man smile. “Do not worry, Raphael. It should be only few more days more.” “With my bad luck it will extend to 2 more weeks.” Stopping at the door Alfred turned to smile at his friend. “If you follow Donatello’s instructions and rest, you will recover sooner. If you disobey them… You know what happens.” “Yeah, yeah, geezer. Get lost already.” ** Those few days were pure torture for Raphael who was forced to stay in bed. Today, however, his stitches were removed and he was allowed to start to move – slow and carefully. No training or heavy lifting of any kind. The day went nicely, but at some point Donatello and Leonardo disappeared. Since Raphael was worried about Leo’s safety he went to look for them, finding the pair in the garden, sitting in small gazebo side by side. The ground was white with little snow, the air was cold and so Raphael was worried Leo would get sick so he started his approach. Hearing familiar steps Leonardo interrupted Donatello by lifting his hand, turning to look Raphael’s direction. “Is everything alright?” “Yeah. Is everything alright here? You are out here in the cold. You’ll get sick.” Leonardo laughed slightly. “Don’t worry. Alfred made sure I dressed up warmly before letting me out.” After a silent moment and few looks of Don, Raphael squatted next to Leonardo. “You guys talking? Can’t you talk inside?” “Raphael, I understand your worry and concern, but we rather stay out here. We need to talk – alone. Please, don’t take it personally.” “Of course not.” Raphael stood, feeling a little sting in his heart. He felt he was not trusted, but then again he was certain brothers needed to have alone time, to talk about their past, emotions – everything. “If something happens, scream.” “From the bottom of my lungs.” As he smiled up to his dear friend, Leonardo felt gentle squeeze on his left shoulder before Raphael left. “You two seem close.” “Yeah, I would say we are. --- Not in that kind of way, tho!” Donatello chuckled as he relaxed now more when Raphael was gone. He felt a bit tense when Raphael was near by now that he was able to move some. “Not yet it is?” “Oh, come on. He’s my friend.” “Who seems to be obsessed about you. And I have noticed it already how he looks at you – and how you look at him. Also all the little touches, holding hands ~” “Donatello.” “Hey, there’s nothing bad, really. If you like him, that’s good. If he likes you, even better. I just want you to be happy. You’ve been through a lot.” “So have you, and Mikey.” “Hmh, that’s why I actually brought you out here. To talk.” “I will listen and most surely ask too, but you don’t need to answer if you don’t feel like it.” Donatello nodded, taking deep inhale before he started. “You already know about our lives after we left you, so I will jump straight to Splinter’s death. It happened about 20 years ago.” “Can I ask how?” “Cancer. Rats tend to have cancer easily. His end was… extremely painful. Horrible. I feel bad I had no guts to end his painful life. Instead I stood by and watched him suffer so much.” Sighing Don shook his head, couple of tears dropping in the snow next to his feet. “Anyway, after his death we started to search you, but Karai found us. She forced us to work for her, to find you. We refused at first so she punished us, tortured us.” “… So all those scars and your injuries…?” “Her doing. First she went after Mikey, cutting his arm off – without any anesthetic. I sat in next room, hearing how Mikey screamed and cried. Begged them to stop… I felt so sick. Helpless. I cried. I… Shit.” Taking Don’s hand in his lap Leonardo rubbed it softly and gently. “Take your time, brother. But if this is too painful -” “No. I need to tell this. You need to know. Need to know that we weren’t bad. That we didn’t abandon you for fun or anything.” Rubbing tears away Don sniffed, looking down at his feet as he continued, liking the warmth of Leo’s hands. “Karai gave us clear orders to find you, saying she would let us go if and when we would find you. Every time when we failed to find you, she punished us. My eye, my leg, all the scars what Mikey and I have. Biggest punishments came to us then when we spend too much time on searching you. Like months before returning to report. We always knew what was going to happen. We were afraid, but at the same time we were willing to spend time, and waste hers, to keep you safe from her. She would had done things to you too if she would had found you for sure.” Taking a breathe Donatello swallowed, telling his story more. “She kept us starving most of the time, but she also made sure we wouldn’t starve enough to become so weak we couldn’t try to find you. But long story short, we spend decades to find you. She was not happy and wanted us death when we finally found you. She said we spent too much time. That’s why she followed us when we came here, after escaping from her.” Leonardo nodded slightly few times. “Can I ask… I know you have prosthesis, but you said eye too. Are you like Raphael? Having one eye only?” “No. I have fake eye. Robotic one. Karai and her men did it for me – even that I didn’t want it.” “You see with it?” “Red and black. You know, very robotic way.” “You said Karai made it for you. Why? What for? What does it do?” Taking out small flying ball from his wristband’s pocket Donatello turned it on. It started to fly still near his face. “My eye is connected to this small flying camera when it’s on. I can see everything in my robotic eye what this camera sees – and records. I can play the recording from the device and see it in my eye. But this was made for spying and searching. It was easier to send this device fly and spy on everyone. This way I actually finally found you in the near by city. Or actually I first spotted Raphael but I thought him to be you. My gut feeling told me to keep him in mind and follow him if I ever spotted him again in the city – and I’m glad I did find him again. This time you were with him.” Leonardo was quiet a moment, finally turning to face his brother face to face. “Don, I know this sounds weird, but do you think you could make me such eyes? So that I could see.” There was hope on Leo’s face while horror was on Don’s. “No! Absolutely not!” Leonardo had not expect such reaction so he released his hold on Donatello’s hand, moving a bit further away. Sighing Donatello took Leo’s hand in his. “I’m sorry, but no. Trust me. You don’t want this kind of eye. Or eyes. While it most surely would help you see, you would see everything as red and black, but the most issue with this eye is that it’s connected to my nerve system and… Whenever this eye starts to act up, and it does it a lot, – It hurts. Like. Hell. Trust me, the pain is horrible and there’s no much what you can do about it. Also removing your original eyes, doing all the connecting… I’ve been through it and I, honestly, don’t recommend it. Rather blind than suffer. And, to be honest, my eye can be turned off which makes it bit easier to be with it, but there’s still constant pain more or less… And I have thought of removing it, but it would be kind of hard to do by myself. I know Mikey would help me, but he can’t stand such things.” “I understand. I apologize.” “No need to. It’s alright. You were hopeful which I understand. And, please, trust me when I say this; If I knew there to be safe and good way to make you see, I would do that, but since I don’t know or there isn’t… I’m sorry.” “It’s okay. After all I’ve been blind my whole life. Well, almost whole life.” Atmosphere was dark a while, but it was slowly lightening up. Donatello smiled with silent smirk. “It’s amazing how much we have improved in these days. It feels nice to be by your side like this and talk.” “I think we can thank Raphael for that. His injury has brought us closer together. Anyway, there’s something what I’ve been wanting to say. You and Michelangelo are welcome to stay here as long as you two need to. And whatever you may need, let me or Alfred know. We will arrange everything.” “That’s… very generous, Leonardo. I appreciate it. If we can stay here a while, that would be enough.” “You have place where to go?” “No. Or perhaps we could return back to the Foot, take it under our control since after Karai there’s no new leader to take her place, but we have no any desire to go back there. I’m sure you understand why. But all that aside, I have been eyeing one place not too far from here. It would be good in size for me and Mikey with big basement where I could build a lab.” “So it’s on sale or rent?” “Sale. I need to get and save money to get it tho.” “Leave that to me.” “No, absolutely not! I will not allow you to -” “Please, as a sign of peace and new beginning for us brothers.” Donatello was silent. He had not been used of such generosity, but since Leonardo insisted… “Alright. If you are sure you really want to do it.” “Of course. And whatever you may need there; renovation, supplies, literally everything – leave those to me as well. I got your back. Mikey’s too.” “T-thank you. I… Thank you.” Growing emotional Leonardo smiled as his eyes were slightly burning while listening Don’s sharp inhales. Standing up with his brother Leonardo pulled Don in his arms. “It’s been so long. We have been apart for too long. Let this be a new page in our lives. I’m willing to give you and Mikey a chance if you guys will give me a chance as well.” “Absolutely. You’re doing so much for us already.” Taking firm hold on Leonardo’s cheeks Donatello closed his eyes as he pressed their foreheads together. “Thank you.” Both males stood eyes closed in silence outside, simply holding each other, all the pain from the past flying away with the rising wind. ** Sitting by the fire in the living room all five males were enjoying hot chocolate, or tea, with some evening snacks what Michelangelo had made for them, listening his wild stories. Shaking his head Raphael snorted amused. This guy had way too wild imagination, but it was welcomed. It improved the mood, keeping it positive and light. After hours well spend everyone bid each other goodnight, heading in their rooms to sleep. Leonardo, however, insisted Raphael to come with him in his room – which he did slightly confused. “Why am I here?” “So that I can keep my ears on you. If I let you go sleep alone in your room I’m sure the first thing what you will do is to throw yourself on the floor and do push-ups.” Laughing Raphael took his pants off. “Am I that obvious?” “Yes, you are.” Laying on the bed next to Leo, who turned on his side to face Raphael, Raph turned to look at the turtle. “You okay? You were out for so long with Don.” “I’m fine.” “Didn’t catch a cold?” “No. Raph, if there’s something you want to ask, just ask.” “What he told you?” “Things from the past while he and Mikey were forced to work for Karai. All their injuries are her doings as punishment. You… Do realize you freed them by killing her?” Raphael was quiet, so many thoughts rolling in his head. He never hadn’t even thought their injuries could be results of… torturing. That made Raphael angry, his fist turning into tight ball. If he had known that while he was fighting her, he would had make her suffer more. Sensing Raphael’s temper rising, Leonardo rested his hand on Raphael’s chest, his heart beating like mad under there. “Calm down. There’s no reason to get so mad when you can’t do anything about it anymore.” “Yeah, I know but… Fuck.” Leonardo smiled with long sigh. While Raphael’s rage was scary thing, it also showed how sensitive he was. How strongly he felt, how deeply he cared. Tapping Raphael’s plastron Leo closed his eyes. “Try to get some sleep, big guy.” As Leonardo drifted into dreamworld Raphael couldn’t help but to feel Leo was hiding something from him. After all, while wearing a smile, Leonardo had felt… sad, disappointed after talking with Don. While Raphael knew it was not his business, he wished Leo would open up and tell him what was going on. Staying awake for hours Raphael grunted sitting up. Shit. His head was too full of all kind of thoughts and he couldn’t sleep. Plus he hadn’t trained in a week so it too made him have too much energy which screamed to be released – if not via physical activity then his mind went nuts with thinking. Slowly getting up, careful not to wake Leo, Raphael dressed up and headed downstairs. Lights were out so everyone were still asleep. Small clock in the kitchen showed 4:32am. Alfred should wake up after 30 minute or so. Raphael decided to wait, making tea ready as the clock started to get near 5:00am. Soon enough Alfred came in the kitchen looking rather surprised when spotting Raphael there. “Morning. You are up early.” “Mhm, couldn’t sleep. Here.” As Alfred sat down big turtle served him his morning tea with something to eat. With thanks Alfred started to eat and drink, Raphael sitting down. His eye looked at the distance, not fully focusing on anything. “What’s on your mind?” “Too many things and nothing at the same time.” “Is something wrong with you or master?” “I don’t know. Since his talking with Don yesterday I have sensed like… He’s upset. Hiding something.” “True. I feel it too. But like always give master time. He will tell you.” “I know. I just would like to know sooner than later. However I don’t want to push my nose in there where it doesn’t belong. Whatever he has spoke with Don is between them alone.” Alfred eyed old turtle behind the cup, tasting sweet tea in his mouth. Taking his time Alfred finally landed cup down on the table, looking Raphael directly. “Tell me one thing since I’m curious and have been thinking this a while. How do you think and feel about our master?” “He’s a great man. He’s steady and calm, balanced. Kind and smart. He makes sure we are okay, fed, loved, cared. To be honest with you, Alfred, he is amazing person. Beyond words. Someone who I admire a lot.” Smiling Alfred nodded as he stood up, taking his dishes in the sink. As he washed them Raphael looked outside, noticing more snow had appeared during the night. Getting up he turned to look old butler who was finished with washing. Just when Raphael was about the exit the kitchen without a word, Alfred’s voice stopped him. “There’s no big difference between admiration and crush.” Raphael was thankful his shell was towards old man since he was sure his face was burning red. Mumbling something to himself first Raphael managed to announce; “I’m going out to clean the snow.” Alfred smiled after him, hearing the front door close. Looking through the window Alfred watched how Raphael used broom to push light snow off of the walking paths, his mouth constantly moving. Raphael had bad hobby to talk a lot to himself when he was embarrassed. This amused Alfred in a good way.