Trashman
Kinkayd stalked through the dark office space, sniffing about for his prey over and under the open floor plan desks. His excellent night vision rendered any lights unnecessary and even annoying when they were left on. Hopping from desk to desk he found the last remnants of the workers' trash.


"Mmm, yes, a nice cardboard box… tossed paper, oh, an apple core, very nice." Gathering a few of his treasures on a central table he assessed how to address each one. The pile of loose and bent staples, paper clips, and other trash metal he put into a bag for one of his demons to devour at home. The apple core and sandwich crusts he ate himself. 


The boxes and papers though, he broke down and rolled up into a tube. Arranging the solid tube upright between the couch cushions he lowered himself down upon the pole until it was impaling between his ass cheeks. With a delighted squee he forced himself further down until he was fully seated. Standing up, the rest of the pole's support still stuck out. For this, he backed himself up against the wall until all the paper and cardboard had vanished inside himself.


All in a night's work for a good trash panda, but this was far from over. Picking through the end-of-shift leavings was merely an appetizer to the main course.


Passing through one liminal space after another he picked clean a few more offices before heading down to the janitorial sector. The cleanup and maintenance crew would all be gone by now and would count on him removing the stockpiled trash. They had no idea how he did it so efficiently with only one tiny crew member, but he was the cheapest contractor they found to do the job and he did it well.


The tower of compacted cardboard gave the raccoon a shiver of delight as he thought of the feeling of shoving all that up his ass, and of course, pleasing his demonic patrons. He looked it all over for loose bits of metal to take home before arranging the paper products into small anally compliant poles and balls.


He slowly enjoyed the first few before setting to the serious work of making the entire day's paper waste vanish.


He was almost halfway through the tower when he was suddenly stopped, unable to push the pole of cardboard any deeper. Then it started pushing back out in a very strange feeling he hadn't felt in years. "What, no, this is an Enter Only hole! Get back in there!"


The raccoon slowly rose on his pole before finally being kicked off the top and falling to the floor. He then felt a rummaging in his near empty bowels. His belly gurgled and bulged as something inside moved about on its own.


"No, that side's even more Enter Only!"


The wriggling pulled back down his guts before emerging the other way. His asshole exploding with multiple tentacles stretching him out even more than he'd ever practiced. An eyeball blinked and another tentacle rose to speak. "Well good, this way is a shorter trip."


Kindayd grabbed the mouth tentacle and smacked it against the wall. "What the hells are you doing here?"


Still more tentacles emerged from his ass to bind his arms and legs. "I was about to tell you, there was no need to get hostile."


"Oh, I'm sorry, I'm just a bit upset at having my ass invaded!"


"And we are tired of having our house polluted."


The raccoon shook his head vigorously. "No, no, lie, that's not true. My ass portal goes to a sewer. That sewer feeds my demon Lords."


The tentacles somehow managed to express the equivalent of shaking its head. "You really don't understand demonic ecology, do you? You got a deal to feed demon Lords in exchange for power, so you figured feeding them more would get you more. But this," it gestured to the remaining half-tower of compacted cardboard, "is too much of the wrong things."


"But they love paper."


"Of course they do, just as your children like fairy floss. It's delicious and delicate. My village processes your plant fiber trash into a delicacy for our Lords. But this, you are basically shoving bricks of sugar down a child's throat and there isn't much my village can do about this. Our slurry pits weren't designed to handle this much plant fiber of this density. We are overrun, the slurry bubbling out of control, flooding our nursery and dissolving our eggs. You have become a menace, a danger to my people."


Kinkayd listened and nodded but wasn't sure what to say. "I'm sorry, it's really hard to take you seriously while you're hanging out of my ass. Also, we don't call it fairy floss, we call it Cotton Candy, or spun sugar."


One of the tentacles just blinked at him in incredulity. "I was planning on talking this out, since you have a contract with our Lords, but no, I'm gettin medieval on your hiney."


The mass expanded and writhed through the racoon's body, permeating every passage, invading every vein and artery before diving into each and every cell of his body. "You're going to become one of us and clean up this mess you made." Finally, the roiling mass of new demonic flesh pulled in through both ends, vanishing into a small portal ring that dropped to the floor of the trash compactor. 


With its host already on the other side, the artifact went inert, the portals closing until some other foolish mortal decided to make a similar pact.