This house has always been strange. I’ve always felt a presence watching me. In the dark corners of my room they sit there and stare at me, and when they’re there I can’t sleep. It usually happens once a month. But after the first month of my 19th birthday they have been showing up every single day. By the 4th day I’ve gone completely mad. Every moment of my limited concentration was focused on those spirits. I had to relieve some stress. So I waited until my mom left for work and I masturbated. I couldn’t even focus on pornography my mind was still on those spirits. Then suddenly I realized they had backed off. I immediately fell asleep, and I had a dream that left me with the taste of hair in my mouth and the smell of shampoo. It was the best sleep I’ve ever had.

I immediately became a porn addicted after that night. Maybe it was there within me already and those spirits just lead me to this bounty. Did they do this intentionally? Of course at the time I wasn’t worried about the nature of those spirits because I was just relieved they had finally stopped. That was until they started mimicking me whenever I tried to cast them away. They started showing up more and now usually together. Splitting my concentration and draining my energy. I was going to explode. So I shoved my tail up my ass, and I let out exaggerated moans. The spirits didn’t mimic me on that day, and they left me. My mom woke up and told me to keep it down. Looking back on it. I think she knew of my addiction and some of my problems, but she never showed any shame or offered any solutions. My heart was racing and I couldn’t come up with a dignified response so I sheepishly just said “sorry”. I don’t even think she could hear me. My vision fuzzed as I came down from the adrenaline and my tiredness caught up to me as I fell asleep near instantly. I had a dream reliving a moment where I pressed a button and I then felt good. I just kept on pressing that button for hours. I woke that morning with a sore ass.

My life had stopped progressing. I couldn’t decide what I liked more, sodomizing myself or sleeping. I started getting lazy, and I didn’t clean up my room as much. This led me to using the living room more and. Then the living room got too messy and I’d wait until mom left for work or whatever and go into her room. After long she started locking her bedroom after she left. I noticed the spirits getting closer, and even, my moans, my sobs, or my perversion didn’t help. The only thing that kept them at bay was my mom’s bedroom. When she got home that night. I asked her if I could sleep in her bedroom. She didn’t even look surprised actually she looked tired. In a way I could recognize. She accepted. I was laying on the bed with my face in the pillows, but my eyes wouldn’t shut. I knew they were watching me. My mom came into the room after she took a shower and I could feel her weight disrupt the mattress’ balance. We were in the same bed spread apart from each other, but I still couldn’t close my eyes. I think we both were awake for what seemed like hours before something changed. I don’t remember what happened first her scooting closer to me or me touching myself. Either way my eyes could drift slightly more closed. I could see myself press that button. Then the spirits came back and I was dragged away dreamland, and I was furious. I was physically shaking. That’s when my mom backed into me with her ass pressed against my junk. I was still shaking. I must have only been thinking of myself. Every vibration our bodies made I could feel my eyes get heavier and heavier. I could see my hand press that button.

*Press* She was wearing basically nothing. My tail with a mind of it’s own pounded my ass vigorously, and leapt at my mom’s underwear. Lifted it aside and my dick was somewhere in the mess, and my tail was knotted up against her ass. My hand were playing with the closest breast or maybe belly fat. My other hand was confused on whether to feel her ass or line up my dick. It was a mess of pure emotions at the start. I think we were both finally sleeping. I woke up a couple minutes later. Things settled down. My tail was alternating both of our asses. My heart was pounding slowly, but hard. Every gyration, squeeze, and breath was methodical. Like a dance that comes out of a soulful song. Predictable with a little syncopation. I noticed the spirits were gone, but I didn’t want to stop. She was like putty in my hand. Sometimes I could even hear her moan. It reminded my of the little noises I made in my sleep. I buried my face in her hair. I think it was instinctual and bit down on her neck. The smell of lavender was overwhelming, and I completely missed her neck. I was so awkward about it back then. *press* and *plap*.*Press* and *plap*. With occasional grunts. I had the dream about the button but this time someone else was there. I think she was racing me to the button. See who could press it first. So I started going faster, and then she got faster. Then I got faster and faster. *pu*plap*pu*plap* chugga chugga. My tail knot got larger and became downright ferocious. I was used to it, and I even got a little impatient that I had to wait for the alternating cycle of the tail’s motion. But she didn’t stand a chance. Things revved up and I could feel the heat radiating off of us. Until finally release. Like a dam suffering a catastrophe we exploded.

This morning felt surreal. Like I was living a strangers life in a home of existential mysteries around every corner. I didn’t want to solve any of them. How much of what I did for the past month month come about due to my own free will? Why did this have to happen to me? I wish my dad was here to give me advice. Or hell maybe he could fight off those ghost in their shared afterlife. I was overwhelmed, and I decided to go for a walk. The day was absolutely beautiful the sky shifted into velvet hues and back into baby blue, the sounds of squirrels chirping like a chainsaw, the streetlights glowing inside of tree canopies, and even the air smells sweet. How come I didn’t notice how great life is until now? I never want this feeling to go away. The next time I see my spirits I’ll have to thank them.