Novella of Nakari: Dreary Dreams and Delusions
By: Monica Vix

Nakari felt weightless. It was hard to describe as she felt fully conscious, but something didn’t sit right. The warmth of Monica’s arms around her hasn’t faded, but she didn’t see the rabbit. Or even the bedroom they shared. Dull, grey streets were all she could see around her. Yellow and white lines of the roads reaching out into nothingness, going to the horizon and then further. Further still. Indigo eyes stared and looked around in confusion more than fear. Nakari didn’t know where she was, even though this place felt familiar.

The sky told her all nothing at all. Clouds swirling in weird loops, the speed of which they spun and whirled being like a car on the freeway. It didn’t feel right, but there was no reason to question it. There was no way Nakari could figure out this was a dream, it just felt weird but like it was meant to be like this. She didn’t even realize the lack of buildings on this vast plane of grey asphalt streets. Or even her own body.

Wait, something did feel wrong. Nakari paused in the middle of a step towards the lighter grey sidewalk before. She craned her head down, looking at her leg. There was no prosthetic? There was… flesh instead? Her original leg was on her body without any reason to be there. That was the thing that felt wrong, that is what made Nakari realize that nothing here was right. This wasn’t just some dream.

Nakari was stuck in a lucid nightmare. The roads all around her made her realize this is where it all happened, where things began to take a turn for her.

Grey, cloud filled skies were suddenly illuminated from all angles. Nakari whipped around, looking to see cars filling the roads from all sides, all angles. There was nowhere she could even get to as the sidewalk beneath her flesh feet dissipated into asphalt. The headlights lit up the world, casting shadows of the shark all along the ground. Darkness from the light shown the shark without any of her four limbs refracting onto the ground, as if the dream itself knew the falsity that was her having no amputations.

Putting her fully formed feet to work, Nakari started to run. Flesh hit the hot asphalt again and again, a phantom sensation that she hasn’t felt since the last dream like this. Her body made no sounds at all as she ran. No panting, no contacting with the ground; she didn’t even hear the beating of her heart! The only thing in the air was the hum of engines and the sounds of rubber on asphalt. 

Eyes darted left and right, watching all around to make sure she was safe. The speeding traffic surrounding her was suffocating, overwhelming. Her maw was open and panting, not a single noise coming out, as if everything else real was drowned out by the roaring engines. Cars in the colors of hell on wheels flew by at every which direction, overwhelming the senses of the shark as she continued to run. It was the worst game of Frogger anyone has played!

As she continued to run, things didn’t even change. Cars continued to come at her, it felt like she was running on a treadmill with how she got nowhere. Then, suddenly, her foot went through the ground. At least that’s what it felt like. Nakari’s leg fell half into a large pothole, trapping her and making it impossible to move! Hands wrapped around the leg, the odd sensation of flesh on flesh contact like this making it hard for the shark to think. With a firm tug, she got nowhere. Doing it again was just as pointless. Bright lights of a pair of headlights grew stronger and stronger as a red vehicle approached dead on.

When contact was meant to happen, Nakari instinctively winced. She felt nothing after. She felt numb as she slowly opened her eyes again. This time, there was no grey, only the sterile white and lifeless teal of a hospital. It felt like she was upside down from how groggy she was. Momentarily, she thought she woke up from the bad dream, not yet realizing that she was still in her endless nightmare.

The bed under her body was soft, the odd warmth of cuddling near her. A hum of the florescent lights overhead was the only sound in the room as she sat there, unsure what was even happening. It was like she was high! Nakari looked dazed, idly gazing around the room. Then, another sound slowly came in. It sounded like crying. The voice behind it was deep and booming. Looking over towards a doorway that formed in the moment she looked, Nakari saw the silhouette of her dad.

“Dad?” She said softly. She didn’t know if he heard her or even knew what was happening. “What are you doing here? What’s going on? Where’s the highway?” The shark tried to stand up. One foot touched cold tile and the other… didn’t.

Nakari felt herself falling to the ground before she stopped herself, grabbing the intravenous pole that held an IV bag. Her hand felt the cold metal and the sudden jabbing sensation in her arm. It was like the moment she touched the pole, she had an IV directly shoved into her veins! It hurt, it irritated here, there was nothing that could be done about it. Touching it would make her almost pass out and she knew that, even though a dream. Fears persisted, amplified as she dreamt this nightmare. 

The large shark that was her dad stepped into the room. It was like he wasn’t even effected by the sickly, sterile blue of the florescent bulbs overhead. His form was dark, like he was a walking shadow. Nakari stared up in disbelief, hoping that he would help her. From all she could make out from the shadow was a smile. Not one of joy, but one of pity. The sort of brave face you put on when others are hurting. That wide, toothy grin didn’t settle any nerves in the smaller shark’s body. It made her stick to her stomach, in fact. 

So sick she began to puke. The vomit came rolling out in hellish reds and oranges, as if she ate a bag of Doritos to the point of throwing up. It splashed against the tile and started to melt through it as if the gross stomach gunk was lava! Spreading, burning, corroding, it just didn’t stop until it consumed the entire floor of Nakari’s hospital room!

She couldn’t sit still. There was no way she could just stay there with that pitying smile glaring down at her. Every fiber in her body was rejecting it. So why couldn’t she move? Why couldn’t Nakari lift a single finger, or even open her mouth? What was this paralysis that overtook her like the sun stealing the sky from the darkness of a new moon?

By now the puking had stopped, but that was cold comfort in comparison to everything else. Nakari could barely drag herself to her one working leg, the other half missing with the end of it soaked in the red gunk from her stomach. All she could manage to do is drag herself into the hospital bed. The dull teal sheets felt rock hard, like they weren’t even fabric. They were sheet metal. The rigid, unfeeling bed held her body regardless. Nakari managed to roll over, adverting her gaze from the shadow of her father looming over her.

The bed of riveted metal gave way to a trap door. Just as the shark got mildly comfortable on the cold, unforgiving metal, she was swallowed up by the bed and dragged through! The pain of the IV was completely gone as she was swept away once more, deeper and deeper into the nightmare. This time, she could see it. See the black void of the dream connecting her from one trauma to another, the hellish threads of the emptiness sewing together the terror tapestry.

Instantly, there was no more darkness. Things felt real. Nakari sat up with a start in bed, huffing and panting for a minute. Looking around at the barely illuminated room, it looked as if it was morning from the light streaming in from the window. Streams of lovely red golds flowed through the curtains and stained the room. Taking a slow, deep breath, Nakari relaxed. It was just a dream that was over now. That’s what she thought until she heard the voice of her partner next to her.

“Nakari?” The rabbit spoke. Her voiced seemed to waver, like an old toy’s voice box that was corroded with time. “I just laid down for bed. What are you even doing?” It wasn’t Monica. It looked like her, but nothing about her voice or word choice sewn any threads of confidence in the shark.

Frozen, the shark reached out. She didn’t even notice she was wearing her prosthetics and was able to feel through them as one plastic hand rested on the bunny’s shoulder. “Wh-what? I just… woke up from a nightmare.” Nakari explained in an exhausted, worried voice. “Didn’t… I toss and turn? Kick in bed? You said I always do that when I had a nightmare.” She was scared. This sort of voice is the last thing she ever thought she’d hear come from the bunny’s mouth.

“Didn’t I say I don’t care about your nightmares?” The rabbit said without skipping a beat. This bizarre version of Monica slowly turned over, facing the frightened shark. Her mouth was carved into an eerie grin with teeth seemingly stitched onto a white stretch of cloth. The eyes didn’t even look real, almost like they were 2D animation. “Why would I care if your confused ass had a nightmare?” The faux-Monica began to laugh. It was like a snake with each syllable slurred into an S, hissing and snickering. “I keep you around to feel better! Something as useless as you, as helpless as you, as confused and idiotic as you. I’m a sex toy for others and yet you’re more of a welcome mat than I am!”

Every biting word was highlighted by the venomous stare of those glinting eyes. “I-I… w-who are you?” Nakari asked. Her voice was shaky. Her entire body was, too. The intensity of this nightmare only grew worse and worse. “I-I thought… you loved me?” She begged, hope dwindling in her voice.

“Why?” The fake nightmarish creature replied. Her head began to spin around, body starting to crawl like a demented spider. “Why would I love a confused boy like yourself?” Somehow, the stitched smile got wider. The laughing got louder, faster. And a secondary source of light began to come boiling into the room. Fire engulfed the doorway, the wall, and slowly crept towards the bed.

Nakari was stunned. She didn’t know how to react to that. “Y-you’re not real…” She pleaded, almost asking the creature to not be real as if it was a polite request. “Monica would… would never say that.” Tears began to well in her eyes. The laughing overwhelmed any though that ran through her head as the demonic rabbit got closer and closer, close enough to where their eyes almost touched.

The shark sneezed. Her head bonked into the skull of the faux-bunny, sending it back just a hair. Fire around her died down for a moment. She couldn’t control it and didn’t even feel the sneeze coming along! And then, suddenly, she sneezed again. Harder. It hit the rabbit about half a foot away, putting some much needed distance between her and a figment of her nightmare.

“How pathetic!” The faux rabbit screamed. It was starting to catch fire as it approached again, green flames leaping upon its brown plush back. “You can’t even wake up by yourself, man.” It was being spiteful. It was feigning being casual just to drive the stake into the shattered heart of the sneezing shark. “This isn’t you doing this, you helpless thing. Whether or not you have those hellish mounds of plastic on your body or not, you’re useless! Maybe good for a cuddling pillow, but not for the price of feeding your fucking useless ass!” The corroded voice box only grew worse as the green fires engulfed the neck.

Nakari was crying, sneezing, unable to push herself away anymore. There were no words coming from her half open mouth. Only her leg was able to move. Thrusting forward into a kick, dull pointed toes of the prosthetic piercing through the fabric of the demonic image of her partner. It was too much for her to handle and she was lashing out in terror. She slowly moved into silence as she weakly shoved back against the molten Monica before her.

…

Then she woke up for real. The heat of the fire was completely gone, the gentle orange light from the nightstand lamp illuminating the entire bedroom. Monica, the real one, was holding the shark in her arms. The soft fur on the rabbit’s body was like a comforter to Nakari, even as she lunged forward in anxious fear. Half length arms pushed out forward, trying to shove anything away, but Nakari only made a mess by knocking a pepper shaker out of Monica’s white furred hand. The dark spice covered the bed sheets.

“Hey.” Monica said nonchalantly. She quietly pulled up the pepper shaker and set it aside. “Good dreams, huh? Wanna talk about them?” She was acting all calm, making it seem like a normal thing. The free arm wrapped around Nakari’s bare chest, dragging the shark closer to her. “What about we get a little snack then go back to bed. Would that help you feel better?” The bunny spoke in a soft, caring voice. She was able to feel the harsh, quick heart rate of her aquatic lover.

Nakari panted, trying to catch her breath after being abruptly awoken. One of her stubby arms reached up and wiped the pepper from her nose, sniffling as it almost made her sneeze again. “Y-yea… maybe not talk about it? I don’t know yet.” The shark spoke in a shaky voice, barely able to calm herself down. “Did… you use pepper to wake me up?” Her tone went from nervous to deadpan in an instant, indigo eyes staring down at the splattering of pepper on the sheets.

“… Yea…” Monica sighed, seemingly disappointed in herself for doing that. “You woke yourself up before by sneezing, so I thought I’d try to make that happen again.” She explained. With a huff, the rabbit lifted the naked shark, hugging her comparatively small body to her bare furred chest. 

There was a slight smile on the shark’s mouth as she was picked up like a plush toy, being effortlessly carried by her partner. The images of the nightmare slowly faded bit by bit, even if the looming dread stayed. “Th-thank you…” Nakari whispered out. She buried her sensitive nose into the soft fluff of the rabbit’s neck, feeling the gentle texture with her most sensitive body part. Without hands, this is how she felt the plush-like sensation of Monica’s body.

“Don’t mention it. I know you’d do the same for me if I had my weird Scooby-Doo nightmare again.” The rabbit faked a shudder to try to get the shark to laugh. After saying it, she set the naked Nakari on the counter, making sure that she wouldn’t fall without her prosthetics to support her. Then, with her now free hands, the bunny turned on a little light up tea candle.

Laughing softly, the yawning shark relaxed against the support pillar connected to the counter. “What sort of snacks did you have in mind anyways?” She asked.

“Oh, right. Your favorite candy!” Monica smiled as she spoke. Taking a few steps away, the bunny produced a plastic container of gummy worms, half of the box empty. “I always grab some when I get groceries, just in case something bad happens to you, so you got something to cheer you up. But, uh…” The brown bunny presented the half eaten box to Nakari. “I eat a lot of them. This is the third box since the last time we did something like this.” She laughed in a pained sense. “No wonder you’re the skinnier one, huh?” The rabbit joked.

Nakari smiled softly while seeing the bin of colorful gummy worms be placed in her lap. “You’re fine. I don’t really care if you get overweight as long as you’re not unhealthy.” She attempted to reach out for the box. Her half length arm couldn’t reach, and there wasn’t even a hand at the end to open it if she could. “But, uh… can I ask you something?” Nakari said solemnly.

“Always.” Monica replied. She opened the box and took out a pair of gummy worms, offering them to Nakari first.

The shark gingerly took the gummy worms with her sharp teeth and chewed them up. “Do you… care about me being an amputee like this? It’s not like, well… I can do much most of the time. Like I can’t even open the box by myself.” She swallowed the sweet treat down just to sigh right after.

“Of course I care about you. And stop shit talking yourself, it’s not healthy for your self esteem.” Monica replied with a stern voice. “You do a lot for someone in your position and for most people in general. I mean, does it look like I, someone without any amputations, is out doing baseball tournaments or anything on the same level as that?” Emerald eyes glared down at the shark for a moment, almost as if Monica was studying Nakari. “What happened in your nightmare? Is there something you’re not telling me?” She pushed just a little, looking into the indigo eyes before Nakari could advert her gaze.

Hesitating, the shark whined under the pressure. “It was just… a lot.” She whispered. “The last thing I remember is waking up next to you and then you started talking about how worthless I was and… well… also said some transphobic things.” The half length arms wrapped around her torso, as if she was trying to give herself a hug in comfort. “I know it wasn’t real, but it’s just… hard to shake that feeling. Like you don’t really care, like you’re just keeping me here to make yourself feel better.”

“Nakari…” Monica brought her voice low, getting serious as she spoke. “I’ll be honest. I completely forgot you were trans.” Silence hung in the air for a moment. “Like… I know you are, but I also forgot? To me, you’re not trans, you’re just another woman. That’s it.” She spoke with serious sincerity as she explained her stupidity.

The shark looked forward to Monica for a moment. “Th-thank you, but, uh…” She hesitated, a nervous smile on her face. “You forgot? H-how?” Nakari spoke with pure disbelief. “There’s… literally a trans flag hanging over the couch… and it’s been there for months….”

“Listen, I doubt you love me because I’m smart. Because I’m really not.” The rabbit said bluntly. With one arm around the shark, she fed Nakari another small helping of gummy worms. “But seriously, you’re a great girl. Not… whatever dream me said. I’m not a dream, this is your life. Limbless and eating gummy worms with your naked girlfriend. You’re living the dream!” Monica sleepily joked with her partner.

One limbless arm reached around the bunny’s back, feeling the black corset piercings under the scarred flesh of the stump. “Y-yea… I guess you’re right. You’re forgetful sometimes, but you’re great.” Nakari yawned after she spoke, resting her head against the soft chest of her partner. “Do you think… you can carry me back to bed?” She asked softly. “I don’t think I can really… crawl on the floor. Especially the tile.” The shark joked.

Without another word, the case of gummy worms was moved out of the bare lap of the shark and closed. Monica wrapped her arms around Nakari, squishing their naked chests together. With a firm grasp on the shark, one hand on the flank and supporting that large tail, the rabbit began to escort her limbless lover to bed again. Her own movements were rather sluggish as she carried Nakari. Step by step, the pair rocked back and forth along the hallway, relaxing in each other’s presence until reaching the bedroom.

Emerald eyes of the rabbit looked at the pepper covered sheets of the bed they previously occupied. Turning around, she would then lay Nakari on the other bed, allowing her to get comfy. Monica stood up and walked to the lamp, placing her hand on the cord to turn out the gentle orange light.

As the light went out and the room was bathed in darkness, Nakari could see the vague silhouette of the bunny before her. City night lights illuminated her from behind. Monica slowly approached the shark, blocking out the street lamps and the headlights of cars as she plopped herself down next to the amputee. It took only a moment for those soft furred hands to embrace the shark once again. The amputee was dragged close, one hand on the small of her back and the other along her shoulders, holding the comparatively small shark firmly. Just the warmth of the fur was enough to warm Nakari; not a single blanket was needed.

Silence filled the air as the two were snuggled away in a cool bed. The mattress would slowly warm up from their body heat, but right now? All the two had was the warmth and softness of each other to sleep.

“Hey, Nakari. I want you to know I genuinely love you.” The rabbit whispered in a low voice. Her white furred maw kissed against the ear fin of the little shark. “You’re gonna do great tomorrow, with or without sleep.” She joked in a sleepy, encouraging tone.

With a shaky breath, the shark nodded gently. Her nose was buried into the fluff of the rabbit’s neck, kissing Monica’s soft body for just a moment. “I-I love you, too… with all my heart.” She spoke quieter, barely even audible to the sensitive ears of the bunny. The only response was a tighter squeeze, one able to pop the tension out of the shark’s back with a satisfying sound. “Good night.” Nakari whispered just a little louder. Then, she closed her eyes, allowing herself to be enveloped by sleep once again within the arms of the lapine.