CRASH
„Mikey!!“
„I’m sorry, it was an accident!“
“How can you knock my desk over by accident? You’re lucky there weren’t any chemicals on it just now!”, as he spoke, Donnie walked over to pick up his now obviously broken laptop which had been on his desk, “Aw man… If any of my files got lost, you’re dead, Mikey!”
“Calm down, bro, I said I’m sorry”, Mikey tried to calm his fuming brother before working on putting the desk right side up again, “Here, I’ll clean up the paper-stuff for you so you can fix your computer. Sound good?”
“Alright… but please try not to make even more of a mess out of my notes than they already are, ok?”, with that Donnie took his broken laptop over to another working desk he had in his lab to sit down and check out the damage before working on fixing it.
Meanwhile Mikey was working on picking up all the papers, booklets and pens that had fallen off the desk when he’d knocked it over to put them back where he thought they belonged on it. One booklet that had opened when it landed on the floor though caught his eye, or rather the words “Michelangelo” and “Mating Season” that were written on the opened page did so he paused, staring at the page without reading further.
Donnie made notes about him during mating season? Why? What happened in mating season that was important or interesting enough to write down? Mikey hardly remembered anything from his last two mating seasons, ever since he matured like Leo and Raph had the years before him, it’s like his brain had shut off during that time and went on vacation, leaving his body in a high trance.
He was curious now and wanted to read on, but he’d promised Donnie that he’d clean up the mess he’d caused. If his brother caught him snooping through his notes instead he’d probably explode and kick him straight out of the lab. So he decided to finish picking up everything else first and putting it all back on the desk before taking the booklet that had caught his interest. With a quick glance he confirmed that Donnie hadn’t seen him having it before heading out the door with a quick, “Ok, done, see you later, D!”


“Finally”, Donnie sighed, putting down his screwdriver as he finished fixing his laptop. Luckily its memory hadn’t been damaged in the fall, but it had still taken a while to fix the battery, exchange the broken screen and fix the rest of the exterior.
He leaned back for a moment, glad the damage hadn’t been any worse, before glancing over at the desk. The papers that had been scattered across the floor were back on it, but instead of neatly laid out they were piled up in a little mountain. Typical Mikey…
Donnie decided to bring order into that pile of papers now that he was done with his laptop so he got up and over to the desk to start sorting everything.
He made a pile for ideas for future projects he had noted down, one for his mutagen research, one for his studies of the Kraang technology, one for medical journals and-
Wait a minute. He frowned as he looked over and around his desk. One journal was missing… He looked at his other journals again to confirm that it wasn’t on the pile. The journal in which he kept track of their behavioral changes in correlation to their hormonal levels was missing…
He froze. If it wasn’t in his lab then that would mean that Mikey took it. If Mikey took it he probably read it or was reading it right now. His eyes widened and he had a sinking feeling in his stomach at the thought.
“No…”, he nearly whimpered, turning to hurry out the door, hoping he could get the booklet back before his little brother read it, but what he saw when he reached the door made him stop dead in his tracks.


“Guys?”, Leo and Raph were watching TV in the living room area when the half whimpered word reached them. They turned around to see Mikey coming from the hallway leading to their bedrooms, clutching some booklet to his chest.
“Mikey, what’s wrong?”, Leo asked, noticing that their baby brother looked like he was about to cry.
Mikey didn’t answer right away, instead he walked over to his two eldest brothers, book still held tightly against his chest as he stopped a few steps in front of them. After a moment he whimpered again, “Please tell me it’s just a joke… I-it can’t be true… right?...”
“What are you talking about?”, in response the orange clad brother handed Leo the booklet.
Confused, Leo opened it at a random page, recognizing the hand writing right away, “Is this one of Donnie’s journals?”
Mikey nodded, “Y-yeah… at least I think so… but I hope it’s really just some bad joke he wrote to mess with me… Please tell me it’s fake!” He practically begged.
The eldest brother was still confused and flew over the page he had opened, he couldn’t make sense of most of it, something about Raphael having the highest levels of testosterone out of them all and that having something to do with his temper or something like that. His confusion only grew.
But then Mikey took another step towards him and reached for the booklet, not taking it from Leo’s hands but simply turning a few pages further until he landed at an entry titled “Mating Season Notes”. There was a small paragraph underneath about at what age mating season had started to affect them and that some hormonal misbalance in their bodies was responsible for their symptoms during that season. After that, a new, bigger part started, titled “Leonardo”.

Leo still wasn’t sure what had gotten Mikey so upset. Maybe he was disturbed by the fact Donnie had made notes about their individual behavior and symptoms during their mating season? But Mikey knew that Donnie’s the scientist and -next to Master Splinter- the doctor of their family, he knew Donnie’s research sometimes went way below belt-level. Heck, Donnie had studied all their tails and penises when they were 13 because he wanted to see if they had mutated in different ways.
Still half wondering in his head, Leo started to read.
The notes stated that Leo had matured when they were 16, an animalistic instinct to breed overcoming him during mating season. This he already knew, it was the reason why Splinter trained them to stay in control over their instincts every year during that time.
It also said that he would stalk his brothers and that he had tried to mate Mikey one day during training, but was stopped by Raph and Donnie. These were things that he couldn’t remember, mating season was always like a blur since he matured, all he remembers is feeling pretty horny the whole time and training to try and stay in control. He remembered the conversation after that training session though, how he had explained to his stunned family that he couldn’t remember what he had been doing a moment ago and how they had told him that he had nearly forced himself onto Mikey.
This couldn’t be it though, Mikey had already forgiven him back that day, not right away, but later during dinner when he wasn’t as shaken and shocked anymore.
He continued on to the next paragraph. “His decision came too late though as that night Leonardo’s next ‘horny’ moment surfaced right after he had lead me from my lab to bed.” That sentence caused a cold sensation to rush down his carapace. He kept reading. Dread slowly pooled in his stomach as he continued on and on. His eyes grew wide and he started to tremble slightly at what he was reading. It couldn’t be true… 
“I cried out and tensed in pain as I felt the tip push inside.”
Leo stopped reading, resisting the urge to slam the booklet shut and toss it across the room as if it were a rabid squirrel. He gulped and checked the books cover again. It was one of Donnie’s medical journals, alright, not some collection of sick incest-rape-fantasy stories.
It couldn’t be true… but it had to… Donnie would never write anything but a fact or theory into his journals and it was definitely Donnie’s handwriting.
He looked back at the text, skipping most of the sex part, not wanting to know what exactly he had done to Donnie, the undeniable fact that it was rape was enough.
He suddenly felt sick to the stomach when crossing the word “bleed”, reading the whole sentence to find out that he had bitten his brother hard enough to bleed while it happened.
There was another paragraph about the following day which Leo read all the way again.
How could Donnie just keep quiet about this? He should have been furious! He should’ve told Master Splinter to lock him up for the rest of Mating Season, at the least!
Finally Leo looked up at Mikey, shock and disbelief clearly written across his face, “Mikey, I…”
The freckled turtle shook his head to interrupt him, “Th-that’s not all…”
At that I looked back at the page and turned it to continue. 
Oh great… Donnie had actually written a conclusion about Leo’s mating behavior… and called him a Control Freak… Leo would have rolled his eyes at this if he weren’t still shocked about what he had just read.
This seemed to be the end of Leonardo’s entry, the next one being titled…
Leo gulped, still wide-eyed as he glanced over at the hotheaded turtle who yet had to get up from the couch, simply watching them with confusion and a mild curiosity.

“What?”, he finally spoke when Leo’s gaze met him before getting up and walking over to his brothers, his curiosity winning, “What got ya both so speechless?”
Raph leaned over a little to look at the opened page, seeing that the next part was titled “Raphael”. Without meeting any resistance from the still shocked leader, Raph took the booklet to read what Donnie had written about him in his journal.
He simply read without thinking until he reached the part describing how he had pinned Donnie down on the armchair in the living room area. He paused while his brain registered what he’d just read, glancing over at the aforementioned armchair. No way…
He continued reading. This couldn’t be what he thought, his mind was just naughtily messing with him and misinterpreting this. He hoped.
“I had not been even nearly aroused enough to accept the situation and willingly let another one of my brothers have intercourse with me” That part made him stop once more and glance up at Leo and Mikey, eyes now wide. Mikey still looked upset and close to crying while Leo watched him with wide, guilt-ridden eyes.
“You…”, Raph was about to let his aggression out on Leo for obviously being the one who raped their brother, but he stopped himself. For all he knew he’d done that too… He had to know for sure so he continued reading.
His heart sank and his shoulders slumped as he passed the part describing how he had forced himself into Donnie, but he kept reading, even though he was hardly registering  what he read anymore while he was taking in the fact that he had raped his little brother.
At the end of the text he noticed the conclusion which had summed him up as “Feral”.
His grip on the booklet tightened, “Dammit, Donnie…” The fact that Donnie had written all this down as scientific research made him fume. It wasn’t some experiment or scientific event or whatever, it was rape! Donnie should be furious at him, at them! He should hate them! And yet he kept what happened from them and pretended like nothing happened!
Suddenly the anger was drowned out by guilt and Raph slumped again, hanging his head.

Mikey looked at his brothers, realizing from their reactions that this was indeed and legitimately one of Donnie’s real journals with real research and facts in it. That means it was all true.
He let his head slump forward like his brothers, “It said I’m like a love-struck puppy… but I don’t feel cute and lovable after that!...” A sob escaped him and Mikey wrapped his arms around himself, “I feel awful…”
“I… I can’t believe it… we… r-raped him…”, just as he said that, Leo felt another presence enter the room. Turning his head towards it he froze at seeing Donnie standing in the doorway to his lab, wide-eyed and frozen in place just like Leo was.
“Donnie…”, before the eldest could say anything else, Donnie quickly retreated back into his lab and slammed the doors shut, lock clicking into place. Leo sighed sadly, he had noticed that Donnie hardly even looked at them, he had been staring at his journal in Raph’s hands instead.

“Shit!”, Raph cursed and threw the journal on the ground, “NOW he hates us! He’s probably scared we’re gonna do that to him again!”
“Why would we do that? Donnie should know we’d never do that, not while we’re in our right minds!”, Leo defended, he already swore to himself that he’d never let his brother get raped again, especially not by himself.
“But we wanna… somehow…”, the two eldest turned to the youngest in disbelief at what he’d just said.
“Mikey… are you saying-“
“All I’m saying, Leo, is that-“, he interrupted himself with a sob, he was still so very close to crying, “I… I mean… don’t tell me you guys didn’t, you know, ‘feel it’ when reading that stuff!...”, another sob, “I-I don’t wanna hurt Donnie or scare him or anything, but at the same time reading what I did makes me wanna…”, he trailed off, burying his face in his hands, “th-that’s why I feel so awful! I know it’s wrong!”
“Geez, Mikey…”, Raph breathed. After a pause he then admitted, “To be honest… I kinda feel like that too… I mean, the feeling awful because I hate what I did, but at the same time I wanna… well… do it…”
Leo sighed and slumped in defeat, “Now that I think about it… I want to, too… What’s wrong with us?...”
“I bet Donnie’d know…”, Mikey pointed out, “He’d probably say it’s the Whatever-Hitchcock-Syndrome that makes rapists fall in love with their bro or something like that…”
Leo sighed, “… Let’s just…”, he had to think for a moment, thinking about the best actions for now, “… Let’s just go to our rooms… Donnie needs his space now and I think we all need some time to deal with our emotions right now…”
The two more energetic brothers didn’t argue for once and simply gave a small nod before heading to their rooms, followed by Leo.
Leo wanted to use meditation to sort through his scrambled thoughts, but he was too much in turmoil to concentrate so instead he simply sat on his bed, legs pulled close and head resting atop his knees as the emotions washed over him, confusion, worry, need and still most noticeably guilt.
He hoped Donnie would be able to forgive him, but at the same time he wasn’t sure if he could ever even forgive himself.
