"You could have given me a heads up you know."
"What?"
"You know, a little warning before you put me on the spot like that?"
Is Marv angry? He doesn't seem like it.
"Warn you how?"
"Oh I don't know something in the general area of: 'Hey I am taking you out to lunch to meet my new boyfriend Aeson, though I haven't been gay with anyone else in my life, and by the way he is Aeson, as in Aeson Laud."
"I don't know what that means."
"Aeson Laud, The Aeson Laud, your boyfriend is The Aeson Laud."
"I still don't understand-"
"Aeson Laud, for heaven's sake dog! Aeson Laud the hottest piece of ass in the country, the face of Bunnybuns! Your favourite underwear brand?"
"What do you, wait, how do you know the brand of my underwear?"
"I look at it when you bend over, from time to time it tends to stick out, you really should get a belt, but that is beside the point. You are sleeping with Aeson Laud."
"You mean to say he is famous?"
"YES! Oh sky above, you cannot be that daft!" he cries out exasperated, throwing his arms in the air.
"You sure about this?"
"Yes I'm sure, of course I am sure."
"I mean are you really, really, really sure? I think he would have-"
"Oh for crying out loud!" He disappears through the door leading to the back. It doesn't take long. He tosses me a magazine.
"What's this?"
"Proof."
"Of what?"
"Just look, you big oaf."
I look. Oh good heaven all that is sweet and holy... It is not even subtle. Gracing the cover of the magazine, titled: the new face of Bunnybuns, flaunting a new pair of what I can only describe as being very snug Bunnybuns that cling to every curve (and cover very little), his tail joyfully raised, a coy look in his eyes, is Aeson... My Aeson...
I look up. My whole world is spinning, I need to grab the edge of the bar not to fall over. A feeling, a small tingling I have felt before but always quickly and violently supressed has exploded into a full blown terror storm, wreaking my whole being.

	"Why would he keep this from me?" and what else don't I know? How could he not tell me? Why is this happening? Why did he hide it? What? Who? When? Chaos, utter chaos from which arises a feeling of dread and stress of a period I had thought I had left behind me. My world gets fractured and when I blink my eyes I am behind the bar working, pouring drinks, fucking up orders. Marv has to pick up the slack. He looks concerned, watching me up from the corner of his eye. I blink again. There is a beaver yelling at me, waving his fist before my nose, Sigrund stepping in, distracting him. When does the room stop spinning? Lies, lies, everything lies. I look up, and through the crowd, as if being lifted out of the flat background. Anne. I double over, I gag. I stumble away from the bar. I think I can hear shouts. Someone nudges me out back. I don't vomit, but she is there like the taste of bile in the back of my throat. I'm on the couch.

	"You ok dude?" Dozer's face pops into view. 
"Yeah, yeah I'm fine." I wave him away. Right now I feel embarrassed. I have never before in my life let myself be carried away like that. Marv's head pops around the corner. 
"How 're you feeling?"
"I-I'm fine, I'll be a moment. Bad food." I lie, poorly. Marv doesn't call my bluff, but instead disappears, allowing me my moment of deceit. 

	"You know it was never my intention to scare you like that. I-I thought you knew."
"I didn't." I bite off those words.
"He probably has his reasons."
"You think?"
"Swiff, for what it is worth. He seems really nice, and you know genuinely... affectionate towards you."
"And now in English?"
"He seems to really like you."
"I guess." I'm silent for a moment. The club is empty and the ground is littered with the remains, pieces of paper, glasses, spills, bottles. We don't make it that hard on them, almost everywhere there are trashcans, never more than a few feet away from any one position, yet somehow it always looks as if we have been hit by a minor hurricane. "It's just, why, why would he hide this?"
Marv shrugs. "Maybe you should ask him."
"I guess."
He is waiting for me outside. Probably wondering where I am. 
"Swiff."
"Yes."
"He's not Anne."
"I know."

	I need to muster my courage. Wei gets disgruntled, wanting to lock up but having me blocking the way. Finally I leave, largely because he practically shoves me out the door. He is waiting for me under the streetlight. He's wearing his hoodie again. He smiles. I avoid his gaze. He walks up to me. 
"Hey there big guy." I don't respond. He pushes his ears flat , looking unsure. "What's the matter?"
"I know?"
"Know what?" 
I look up. He searches for something, staring deep into my eyes. His tail is no longer wagging happily, but has tucked itself between his legs. With a slow motion I pull the magazine from my pocket. I unfurl it, revealing him in all his glorious nudity. A small shudder shoots through his body, like a twitch, an electric shock. His eyes flicker up and down between me and the magazine. 
"Why didn't you tell me?" A note of hurt creeps into my voice, breaking off that last bit of the sentence. He shies away from me. 
"I... I don't know." 

	I should feel fury, anger, betrayal, but I don't. He looks up at me, his eyes, his look tugging at something in my soul, in my very being. No longer the cocky guy I met in the restaurant, or at the party, or the witty smart mouth always ready with a remark, teasing me endlessly. A small ball of fur that is what he has become. I realize I can't be angry, though I am not sure how I feel about it.
"I tried." He offers. "I just... couldn't."
"Why not?"
He shrugs. 

	I don't know which one of us makes the first step but we walk down the street.
"You... You liked me for me. You didn't get off on the whole star thing. You got a crush on me, fell for me, you... you... I don't get that a lot. Mostly it is because they hope that I'll get them a job, or because they just get off on the fact they are fucking a famous person. But you, you had no idea what I was, you just knew me, making it... so much easier."
I have no idea how to reply to that. Up until a few hours ago I had no idea he was famous. I had never dreamed I would be having this conversation. For some stupid reason I believed in a happy ever after, but this relationship has gotten a bit too fairy-tale like for my taste. Dog meets normal pup, falls for normal pup and discovers normal pup is not so normal, but is a modern day prince. Fuck me.
"Can you forgive me?"
I shrug. I don't know, I honestly do not know. About this point in the plot you might think I would say 'yes', no hesitant 'errr... yes', but a real firm 'yes, of course'. I would rejoice at this opportunity to make amends and get my happy ever after. However I just shrug, because I have no idea. Because right now my feelings are... messed up, entangled with thoughts and feelings I had thought banished the moment I met him. 
"I'll think about it." It is the best I can do.
He nods.
"Can you still drive me to the airport?"
"Sure." My car is waiting dark and silently at the end of the street. 
"I have a vacation home here." It is little more than a whisper. "Would you mind if we stop by and get my bags."
"Sure."

	A vacation home, that is the understatement of the year, it is a small vacation villa. Seeing it triggers a vague memory, the smell of sweat, semen and sex. I follow him inside. It's huge. 
"The kitchen is over there, just give me a moment."
The moment I enter I realize I have been here before, and not just in the proximity off, not just in a place just like it, no this exact place, with Aeson pinned against the refrigerator door. I shake my head, trying to dispel that image. I yank the door open. The fridge is mostly empty, just some bottles of cooled water. Not really what I was after, but it will have to do. The sound of tearing plastic sounds oddly loud in the empty kitchen. I toss back the liquid, not stopping for anything until I have reached the bottom. 
"I'm ready."
I turn. He is standing in the doorway, a single bag dangling by his side. He looks unhappy. A part of me wants to comfort him, hold him, tell him it will be alright. The rest of me feels numb. 

	We say nothing while I drive him to the airport and the silence is oppressive, a far cry from what we used to have. The torment prolongs itself as we head into the large metal and glass building. It is busy, busier then I would have expected. Lines with people carrying their luggage, officers scrutinizing everyone, no doubt supported by camera's fixed to the ceilings. He gets his ticket. I wait, for some reason. This is the moment I have been dreading for days, and now that it is here... I had imagined a lot, just about everything from a sudden fierce argument to a long and passionate goodbye. I had even imagined myself going with him in a spur of the moment. This, however, I had not anticipated, this silence, this not talking, this feeling of deadness. 

	The lady overhead calls out his flight. He has to leave. People trick their way through customs for this, trying to catch that plane, fighting their way to their loved one. They don't get on their flight, but instead turn to rush back into their lovers arms. This is a novelist's wet dream; the perfect romantic ending with a hundred different desperate possibilities one more fantastic then the other. I stay at the desk. For a brief moment our gazes cross. He reaches up, planting a soft peck on my lips. 
"I love you too Swiff Ostanoi." 
I do not avoid him. I just look on as he passes through customs and turns around one last time, raising his paw. For a moment I believe I can see tears welling up in his eyes, but I blink and they are gone. A moment later he is gone, swallowed up by the people, heading for heaven knows where. And I wait, I wait long past the point his flight took off. I wait until behind the sun rises, shining in through the large glass front. 

	I make myself move, I make myself turn around, head to my beaten up car and drive home. I make myself open my door; go through my living room towards the bedroom. I even manage to make myself strip before flopping down on the bed, my face in the pillows. He's still here. He isn't gone, he is still here. I close my eyes and I dream of masks, green, yellow, gold, silver. They burst into stars the moment I gaze at them too long. I dream of Anne, of her sleeping with a thousand other guys, but I am mistaken, it are not a thousand separate figures, it is one, a dark giant monster with a thousand faces and a thousand members, and twice as many hands. It feels like a life time, like I have overslept and am hours late for work. I open my eyes and check the clock, it's only five a.m. 
