| \r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t \r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t \r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t \r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t | \r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tCausticutie\r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t | \r\n\t\t\t\t\t\t
I really like his Lessa of Grimwood series.
In short, this story is about the young mouse Lessa who must awaken her mother, the powerful sorceress Greta, from a deep magical sleep, into which the mother was plunged by the evil sorcerer Bellinor. This evil wizard with his thugs will come to the village Wooden Heart in 24 days. In this time Lessa must find the Magic Seed, which is guarded by the great Wolfhound. A familiar wizard, Starnose, helped Lessa by casting a protective spell on her. Now, if Lessa suddenly dies on her quest, her soul will be reborn in a new body in Starnose's hut in the village.
So, this is the concept of the plot. Lessa goes to the Grim Wood time after time in search of the Magic Seed, and each time she is unlucky... She dies an unpleasant unexpected death, and is reborn in the wizard's hut. Dark fantasy at its finest.
I like the character of Lessa, she is so cute, clumsy, helpless, but at the same time determined and brave.
So I decided to write a parody chapter of this magical story, inserting my OC Jerk into it. And the green dog-like girl with horns is a character called Amberley from the British show "the Dreamstone"
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0299286/
I inserted her for LoLz. And she is also from fantasy cartoon, so... she fits fot this =D
***
"Lessa of Grimwood Part ??"
"Lessa had made quite a bit of progress in her journey this time. She had even found another village hidden in the Grim Wood! There, the young mouse tried to find out from those around her where she could find the path to the Magic Seed guarded by the great Wolfhound. But unfortunately, none of the residents of the Saddick knew the answer to Lessa's question. Except... one old ferret, who, in exchange for a blowjob, told Lessa that one sleeky slave seller had stopped by the village and that he might know the information Lessa was interested in. Having spat out the ferret's sperm, Lessa hurried to the local tavern "The Merry Wiener", where this seller had just stopped. The large tavern was full of assorted people.
The slave seller turned out to be a short, purple cat of a rather shabby appearance with a drooping nose that looked like a dick. Lessa realized this when she noticed that next to the table where the cat was having a drink, a bound female slave was sitting on the floor, and a price list was attached next to her.
The gray mouse hesitantly approached the boozing cat.
-H... Hello, dear sir... - Lessa mumbled.
-Eh? - the cat raised an eyebrow questioningly.
-You... You are a slave seller who is passing through this village? - asked Lessa, trying not to look at the pitifully whining, tied up and gagged slave on the floor.
-Eeeeh, nah, what are you saying! - the purple cat waved his thick paw, - I am no longer a slave seller! Haven't you heard that our gracious and just king Sheldon Crooked Nose recently issued a decree that prohibits the slave trade in our country? So I don't sell slaves anymore... I now lease out labor meat for a long term! All legal!
Lessa stared at the purple crook, discouraged. The conversation was clearly not going well...
-And what do you need, my dear? - the cat asked good-naturedly, - do you want to rent some slave, ugh, I mean, a hired worker? Then we need to go to my van in the backyard of the tavern, I keep my sla...ckers there! They are good, healthy, they will work like a pair of the best horses...
-No, no! - Lessa muttered, - that's not what I need...
-Ah, I see... - the cat narrowed his eyes slyly, - You need a lover who will satisfy you at any time. Well, my slaves, I mean, workers, are suitable for this too! Excellent stallions! Well, or if you suddenly like strange...
With these words, the purple cat nodded slightly towards the naked, sexy, tied up green slave girl sitting on the floor.
-The Inquisition will never know! - the seller whispered softly.
- No, no, you've got it all wrong! - Lessa muttered in horror, - I just need some information from you! I'll pay!
The purple cat leaned back in his chair. He looked slightly disappointed.
- Ahh, information... Okay... I get less for information than for my slaves... Fuck, I mean, hired workers! Damn these new legal terms!
Lessa, emboldened, came closer to the fat cat.
- So, I need information to find...
But the cat interrupted the mouse, waving his purple paw in front of her nose.
- Ah, stop! I've just started my meal. Let me at least drink my traditional fifth mug of ale first. Btw, don't you want to have a drink and a snack yourself?
- Well, I don't know... - Lessa said uncertainly. However, the sight of the lousy tavern`s food was pretty tempting, considering the fact that Lessa hadn't eaten anything for a day... So, after a bit of hesitation, the young mouse finally gave in and sat down at the table with the fat cat. Whose name, as it turned out, was MADJerk.
***
An hour passed, and MADJerk and Lessa, pretty tipsy and cheerful, were drinking another mug of booze at the table, laughing loudly.
-...and my pal Moron Anton says to me, "I'll go to a big city and make a big money there!" And I tell him, "You're more likely to make a big PLAGUE there, not a big money!" And guess what? A Plague epidemic really did break out in that city, and Anton died from it! What a MORON! - MADJerk told another hillarious story.
Drunken Lessa laughed. However, MADJerk's carefree story about his pal's gruesome death suddenly woke Lessa up. Through the drunken haze, she suddenly began to realize that she had forgotten something...
-Wait! What about the information I need?! - the mouse suddenly remembered, - Mr MADJerk, please tell me, do you know something about the Magic Seed and the great Wolfhound guarding it?
- Of course! - the drunken slave seller nodded his head smugly, - I know a guy who knew a guy who knew a guy who met the great Wolfhound in person...
- And what did he say?! - Lessa gasped.
The purple cat hiccupped loudly, took a sip from his mug and answered.
- Well, you see... The Great Seed is, how can I put it... You probably think it's the seed like that seed from which trees and wheat grow there... BUT NO. There's a reason the Wolfhound guards it, he keeps the Magic Seed inside himself, heh-heh... Got it?
- I don't understand... - Lessa said quietly, her tipsy gaze trying to focus on MADzherk's flabby face, - ...what do you mean?
-Oh, how slowmind you are! - the fat cat angrily clapped his paws on table, - okay, I'll chew it all out for your weak brain now... But at first I'll wash mess in my mouth down with some booze...
MADJerk's drunken gaze wandered around the table, and his trembling paws tried in vain to catch the bottle.
-Shit! Okay... Hey, rat honey, pleaz pour us some booze from this bottle... With three crosses... But don't confuse it with rat poison bottle...
Drunken Lessa had difficulty focusing her gaze on the two bottles in the center of the table. In her drunken eye, these two bottles looked absolutely identical.
-A bottle with three crosses? OK, I'll pour it now... - the mouse muttered.
She took a bottle in each hand and began to examine them. Surprisingly, it seems like both bottles had three crosses drawn on them!
"Whatta...", Lessa thought, "It can't be... There's clearly some kind of catch here..." The mouse focused her gaze, trying to fight her way through the alcoholic haze: "So... one of the bottles actually has a skull and crossbones, but the artist, who drew this, had crooked hands, so it looks like another cross..."
-I bought poison to kill the pests in my van! This is very very good and effective poison! - MADJerk was talking some drunken bullshit, distracting Lessa.
"Okay... This is a bottle with poison, and this one is with booze. We can drink!" - with this thought, Lessa uncorked the bottle and poured the playfully shimmering liquid into her and MADJerk's mugs. The bound slave girl on the floor started to mooing loudly through gag and twitching, shaking the table she was leashed to, as if trying to say something to the persons sitting at the table...
-Shut the fuck up! - MADJerk snapped at her angrily, - don't stop me and my new friend from celebrating our friendship! Well, let`s booze!
And the purple slave seller affably raised his mug, filled to the brim. Lessa, smiling drunkenly, raised her mug, joyfully clinked glasses with MADJerk and drank the mug to the bottom...
***
...Lessa woke up again in the hut of the wizard Starnose. Her head ached terribly, and she was tormented by nausea.
"No... It can't be!!!" - Lessa thought in horror - "I was so close!" But it turned out that there was not booze in that bottle... Lessa fell helplessly onto the straw. She almost found out the secret of the Magic Seed and the great Wolfhound who guards it. But everything fell apart so absurdly at the last moment. And now the person who knew this secret is dead... And unlike Lessa, that jerk dead as fuck.
Lessa cried quietly. She screwed up again. And screwed up big time. But after crying she'll get up and go again on her quest. Because she can't do otherwise. She has to save her mother and her village from the impending disaster, because , after all, she is LESSA OF GRIMWOOD!"
End of the parody chapter.
I hope Causticutie will like my fan-creativity of his story :3