Your looks are bad.
A job in radio is the best you could have.
If you tried to wear a mask,
It would say, I'll pass.
And you also make mirrors sad.

You need to put on some makeup.
A camera lens pointed at you would break up.
Where everything on your face goes,
Is like a Picasso.
And a plastic surgeon who tried to help you gave up.

One good thing,
You're always ready for Halloween.
But when the freak show comes around,
You scare them out of town.
You're the ugliest thing I've ever seen.

It looks like you hit every branch,
With the force of an avalanche,
But even the Ugly Tree,
Won't take responsibility,
For your looks being like the smell of a ranch.