[b]A Royal Slip-Up[/b]


"Urgh..."

Drowsily and dazed, Snuk woke from his rather unplanned downtime. The room he found himself in was dark, his back felt cold and everything reeked of alcohol. He sat up and winced at the  nagging pain that throbbed in the back of his head. The stairs, he remembered as he brought his hand to the sore spot. Kobold skulls are told to be sturdy, little things, but apparently a hard enough blow, like when he had tumbled down the hard stone steps, was enough to knock out his lights.

"Shit!" Snuk whispered as his blurry eyes adjusted to the darkness to take in the mess all around him. The wine had already seeped into the tile stones, leaving behind dark patches and a rich bouquet. Only shards of glass lingered about, scattered like a deadly trap for unwitting paws.

Swiftly the small kobold picked himself up and hastily brushed the shards together with his tail. His scaly hide was unaffected by the sharp glass, though wouldn't fair quite as well under his lord's fiery wrath, should he delay the irascible dragon's demand any longer. "Oh no!" Afraid of his fate, the outright tiny kobold climbed the shelve again to seek out another bottle of the desired liquor. "Lord Eddreoss told me directly to get this. I'm going to the dungeon for sure for this!"

In a hurry and loaded with one of the big bottles, Snuk waddled up the narrow stairs - without incident this time - and scampered through the royal castle's many halls to deliver his better's beverage. In his haste, he didn't notice that the place was oddly calm, though even if he had, he wouldn't think twice about it. There was a huge banquet earlier this night and at this hour, the whole castle was probably asleep already. What hour was it anyway? And was that the rising, or setting moon he saw from the corner of his eye flashing by the windows?!

In the end, it didn't matter. No one answered to his knocking and, upon sneaking in, Snuk found his lord's chamber deserted. His guards and other servants were also gone. Baffled he touched his head again, not even feeling a bump. "How... just how long was I out?!" he wondered, stepping back into the hall to find traces of his lord's household. The dragon had mentioned that he planned on departing early in the morning, but... "I couldn't have been unconscious for that long... could I?"

Aimlessly Snuk wandered the castle's corridors, not yet fully familiar with the royal abode. His lord only traveled the long way here, when otherwise staying home would affront the sovereign. An unthinkable situation that still might come to be if Snuk didn't manage to find his entourage soon, and then a life in the lord's dungeon would be a godsend! What happened then, though, was far beyond the little kobold's imagination, and even further beyond embarrassing for a lowly servant like him!

Heedlessly rounding a corner on his pell-mell search, Snuk run into two figures and froze. "Th-the ki..." There was no mistaking! He was missing his usual pomp, but that regal face adorned half the paintings in this place. "The ki-ki-ki..." Completely overwhelmed by the ursine monarch that stood in front of him in his nightgown, Snuk didn't even find enough of his brain working anymore, to drop to his knees, or at least make way for his king.

"What the...?" the bear's attendant, a handsome, but cowing wolf, exclaimed in surprise. Threateningly he took a step forth, his hand at the hilt of his sword, ready to protect his king. "You look like one of Eddreoss' little varmints. He's left this morning already, so state your business!" The canine's sharp eyes flicked to the bottle still in the kobold's grasp and then he sniffed, clearly identifying the smell of expensive, royal wine that lingered in Snuk's robes. "Did you batten on the royal wine cellar, you vile--!"

"NO!" Snuk assured trembling. Carefully he put the bottle down and then basically fell to the ground to grovel before the wolf and his king, who looked amused as he let his underling handle the situation. "This is a misunderstanding, sir! I-I fell and fainted. I was supposed to bring wine to lord Eddreoss. But then I got lost and no one was there and--"

"What are you talking about, worm?!" the wolf growled, inching his sword out of its sheath. "Are you a thieve, or did you try to spy on us? Why were you roaming the halls at this hour?!"

The large bear calmly put a hand to the wolf's nervous sword arm and stepped forth. "I don't think this one looks like a threat," king Urian stated in a benevolent voice. "Search him."

With a gruff growl, the wolf pushed his sword fully back into its sheath and acknowledged the command with a humble, "Sire," before he closed in on the covering kobold. Snuk was roughly grabbed by one of his ears and shoved up against a wall. Then the canine searched him thoroughly, not caring for any bruises, or torn clothes he would leave behind. "Nothing," he informed his king of his findings.

"I-I'm not a criminal," the kobold promised, still in the canine's grasp. "I was just trying to return to my lord."

The huge, ursine king folded his arms. "Well, lord Eddreoss is obviously gone already. By now he ought to be halfway back to Valbrook Bluff, I reckon." A faint grin flashed over the monarch's chubby face as he raised a brow. With an idea in mind, he peered down at the forgotten servant. "It's not our interest to hold you here. Though it's a long and dangerous way for someone of your size. You might as well stay!" the bear offered, gesturing the wolf to release the boy. "Take service with me, instead. What do you say?"

With a dry throat, Snuk swallowed. He wasn't really keen on leaving his live, however humble it might be, behind. He wasn't exactly attached to his lord, though that drafty, old castle over the cliff kinda was the only home he had. But, denying the king's offer was not just unheard of, it might be a death sentence for a commoner like Snuk. "Well, I w-AURGH!"

"Your king asked you a question," the wolf barked and slammed his arm into the kobold's neck to shove him back down to the floor. "Answer!"

"Yes. Yes!" Snuk agreed, protectively holding his hands over his head as he once again groveled before his king. "I would love to be in your service, my king! Thank you for your graciousness!"

With a satisfied huff, the massy bear took a small step forward to tower above the kneeling kobold. "That would be all for tonight, Rendall."

"But, Sire, it--"

"You can go!"

"My king," the gruff man said stiffly with a bow. Then he simply left.

Even though his agitator was gone now, Snuk remained on the ground. He had to be on his best behavior and please the bear. This was king Urian, after all, and he was rumored to be harsh in his punishment to those that defy him! Oh, he should have stayed hidden in that cellar!

"I always wanted to have a kobold for myself..." the king murmured to himself, calmly letting his newest servant abide in front of his large paws, admiring the view of the petite reptilian-like boy. Eventually though, he commanded, "Come! Follow me to my chambers, I have work for you."

With a nod, Snuk meant to do just that and raised. Though he was stopped swiftly by something heavy that suddenly weighed down on his head. It was the bear's paw that pushed him back down, all the way to the floor, until he could smell the dust there.

"No," king Urian simply chuckled. "Lizards belong down on the ground, so you'll stay there!"

Surprised and easily overwhelmed by the weight of that paw alone, Snuk huffed against the floor. "A-as you wish, my king..." And once he got released again, he followed that order (quite a bit reluctantly) and crawled after his monarch's thumping steps like a lizard on the ground. This didn't bode well, though Snuk knew he couldn't deny the king. Slipping up to bring his provincial lord wine was one thing and bad enough already, but he positively must not offend THIS man!

Once inside the royal bedchambers, the large bear poured himself some wine and went over to a big chair, which looked like a throne made of gold and red silk. It was, however, neither the king's actual throne, nor entirely of metal since the wood creaked dramatically as the bear's enormous rear settled on it. All the while, Snuk remained awkwardly huddled at the ground, waiting for further instructions - which weren't long in coming.

With a lazy sigh, the ursine king propped his large paws up on a footrest and swirled the wine in his glass. "That nightly stroll left me with quite an unpleasant chill," the bear rumbled, before his dark, superior eyes settled on the groveling kobold. "Come forth and warm you king's paws!"

Blinking a bit confused at the seated monarch, Snuk eventually noticed that he had to do something. First he bowed (as far as he still could, this close to the ground), acknowledged the command with a humble, "Yes, my king," and finally began to crawl towards the footrest, which, while large in size to accommodate a bear, still looked small under the king. When the tiny kobold came up to it, though, the piece of furniture almost outmatched him. Concerned and a bit repulsed, Snuk looked up at the towering soles, then carefully raised a bit more to ask, "H-how am I supposed to...?" He wasn't familiar with pampering royalty. His own lord (well, former lord now), while commanding legions of kobolds, rarely ever had them serve him directly and certainly not in such a personal manner. There actually only were a handfull of kobolds who ever were allowed to set foot into the dragon's private quarter. He was a pretty secluded noble.

"With your tongue!" king Urian clarified sharply, before sipping on his drink. Then, as if to humiliate the kobold at his feet even more, he focused back on Snuk, raised his nose conceitedly and in an urging tone added, "Lick my paws, lizard. Thoroughly!" When the kobold only stared back at the king with dumbfounded eyes, Urian added, "Or do I need to call Rendall back?!"

"No, my king! Of course not!" Snuk quickly whimpered with an apologetic bow of his head. Once again he focused on the large, dark-skinned soles right in front of him and winced. "I'll... I'm glad to be of service to you..." He swallowed uncomfortably as he slowly came closer. Snuk really didn't want to, but there was no way he could deny one of the king's requests. Not if he didn't want that wolf to beat him up, anyway! Reluctantly he stuck out his tongue and closed the distance between it and the bear's sole. "Mph..." Contrary to Urian's words, his paws were warm to the touch. Warm and dusty and quite a bit musky too. "Hrmmf..." Snuk had to force himself to drag his tongue over the wrinkly surface. Was this decadent man seriously ruling over the entire nation solely?!

"Are my paws not to your liking, lizard?" king Urian asked with a threateningly raised eyebrow.

And his booming voice made the poor, little kobold tremble. "N-no, my king. Not at all! Your paws are... s-sublime...?" Already imagining himself in the dungeon, Snuk peered up and found the bear staring down at him.

"Then treat them with some passion! And the respect they deserve!"

With a submissive bow, Snuk complied rapidly, to propitiate the insolent king, and bathed his enormous soles in his saliva. The taste was just as bad as the thought of having to do this for the man that was called 'protector of the realm', though the little kobold served his monarch with duteous and enduring devotion - until Urian's wine was empty and his paws clean.

"Splendid!" the king exclaimed at long last. "Your care was a blessing for my paws and well-deserved. I might have more regular use for your tongue. Though for now, you could do me another favor!" Expectantly the bear's demanding eyes settled on the panting servant by his paws.

Snuk shuddered and swallowed the lingering taste of royal musk in his mouth. "H-how can I be of further service to you, my king?"

King Urian grinned, satisfied with the answer. Then, though, his flabby jawline sagged in displeasure as his paws swayed left and right on the footrest. "This damn thing is a holdover from the very first king of this land and has served the according amount of royal paws since. It's hard as stone!" Frustrated the king lifted his heavy feet off the ancient piece of furniture and rudely pushed it aside. "Assume its place, lizard! My paws deserve something soft."

With a cold shudder, Snuk stared up at the large, fuzzy paws that hovered in the air in order for him to crawl beneath them. Supporting these would be a toil! A mere, little kobold was no match for a bear like this. Fuck, he cold probably disappear completely underneath those soles! Though again Snuk wasn't left with much of an option, but to obey his liege. "Of.. of course, my king..." he whispered and reluctantly got into place to offer his back. "Mhrph!"

The king's paws came down on him without much care, but a lot of weight that made Snuk's spine sag. The bear's meaty heels bore into his back and concentrated the weight on a small spot which soon felt like lying on a sharp rock. The king above seemed calm for a moment and uttered a sigh of content, though before long, his heavy paws fidgeted about on the kobold's wobbling back like they had been on the actual footrest moments ago.

"Hmf! Ughh..." Snuk whimpered as his new master's heels chafed over his dragon-like skin and the bones beneath it with growing unrest. "Is-hpf... Is something the matter, my king?"

The large bear grumbled annoyed as his heel scrubbed over a particularly prominent bump repeatedly, which only brought more anguish to his living footrest. "I always imagined kobolds to be softer. You lot look so 'malleable' from afar." As if to further indicate his dissatisfaction, king Urian prodded Snuks body firmer with his heel. "But your scaled hide is hard and feels like resting on a bag of walnuts!"

Still in pain under the fidgeting paws, the poor kobold balled his fists to withstand the urge of rolling out from beneath them. "I'm ugh, s-sorry for the inconveniences, my king..."

With a final, annoyed harrumph, Urian suddenly took his feet from the sighing servant and stood. "Alright, enough with the games," he announced and reached down. "I've had something else in mind for you anyways!"

"Urgh! Sir, what...?!" Snuk whimpered perplexed as he was lifted off the ground. The king had his incredibly strong hand tightly wrapped around his wrist and dragged the light kobold along with ease. Snuk didn't dare to, though even if he had, he wouldn't have been able to fend this man off. "Urrf!" Eventually, he got discarded on something soft and now faced his monarch upside down, who once again wore a faint smile on his large, broad face.

"Yeah, that'll do nicely. Stay like this!"

It was the noble man's bed Snuk was situated on now and with dread he clutched the incredibly smooth sheets beneath him as the massive bear that towered above him turned. "Ah, no wait, please...!" the little guy complained, the king's intentions revealed themselves to him.

The ponderous bear pulled his nightgown up and leaned back, blocking the lit candle's light as his huge ass loomed over the kobold. Slowly it came down and Snuk pushed his flimsy arms against it to stop the king from sitting down on him. It was a fruitless attempt.

"I like it when they struggle..." Urian chuckled amused as he simply allowed gravity to force the kobold's arms out of his way. "Keep up the fight. Maybe you're good for something other than cleaning paws?"

Paniced Snuk already felt the bears body heat spread over his form. "My king! Please wait, ourghh!" Weight started to settle on his prostrated form as the royal ass cheeks spread over his body. He soon had his face full of brown, shaggy pelt. With his last breath, Snuk uttered a desperate, "Aurrgh! Stop this madness, for heaven's sake! Hmphff!" before he was completely buried beneath the sovereign. Darkness, warmth and pressure overcame him and forced him deep into the mattress. Snuk couldn't move, couldn't scream or beg for mercy. He could barely breath anymore!

"Hm... At least your front is somewhat comfortable..."





[b]Weird Chiwawa and Cola[/b]


The two rows of barred, stainless steel boxes erupted into a cacophony of barks and whines and a few uncomfortably shrill shrieks of excitement when a new occupant was brought in. It was a small guest, but rather rebellious. Vainly he tried to regain his freedom by kicking and scratching at the young girl that carried him. His tiny claws managed to pull a few strings from her already worn sweater, but otherwise the livid attempt was only perceived as adorable and amusing by the human.

"Psh-sh, almost there, little guy," she soothed and opened one of the boxes. The girl withstood the urge to pat the critter's unproportionally huge ears. Those little teeth did pinch a bit, after all. "I know that vaccine was an awful lot to handle for such a cute dog and you're a bit scared, but now you can relax a bit." With angry, but harmless sounding growls the tiny animal was released into the cage and securely locked up.

"What kind of breed is that even?" another charming, female caretaker wondered. "I've never seen a dog like that before."

"Hm... Well, considering his size and the big ears, I think he might be one of these, uh, what's it called...? Chiwawa?"

"Chiwowa...?"

"Yeah. We don't get them in often, because they're usually eaten before Paul can pick them up."

"Eaten?!  Who, or what the fuck eats dogs? I thought our streets are safe!"

The other girl shrugged. "Alligators, mostly, Paul said. Chiwawas are pretty gung-ho for their size. This one too. His tag only reads 'Limon'. No ID, or phone number, so I doubt we'll be able to return him anytime soon. Poor baby!"

"At least he'll get adopted quickly, the way he is so cute. If he ever calms down that is. Anyway, are you done ogling him yet? We've got another customer."

And as the two chatty girls returned to the front desk, the clamor inside the many boxes subsided slowly as their inmates realized that it was not feeding time yet. Only their newest visitor kept barking in a high pitch, "Get your nasty hands off me, skinbag! I told you before, I don't fucking have rabies and if you poke my ass again with that thing, I won't hold back next time and take your whole fucking hand! And now release me from this foul-smelling prison already. At! Once! Or at least clean whichever corner was shat into!"

"Boy, do you ever shut up?" someone barked from the other side of the wall of cages. "Ugh, I fucking hate little dogs. So annoying!"

The contentious dwarf was only too happy to redirect his tantrum, now that the two girls were gone, and raised his little nose at the dark figure in the other cage. "I'll shut up when I get the hell out of here and away from you curs! And I'm not some dumb ass dog. I'm a fox! I can't fucking believe I was put here. And why the hell is the floor of this thing so sticky?!"

The black dog brought his face a bit closer to the door of the small cage he was fit into and thus revealed his handsome, but slightly cocky face. His pair of strikingly blue eyes peered straight over to the small newcomer. "You better watch your muzzle, pipsqueak! We're all not exactly happy to be here. No reason to get abusive."

"Aww, I'm so sorry, Cola! Did I accidentally hurt your feelings? WHO CARES!"

The piqued husky tilted his white-tipped, pointy ears forward. "My name is Coal!"

The yellow fox laughed. "Oh, really? That sign says something else, Cola!"

Tapping about in his small cage, Coal now pressed his face tightly to the door and peered down, though wasn't able to see the sign that supposedly held his name. Huffing in frustration, the husky sat back down and gave the fox a sour look. "One of the girls must've misspelled it..."

"Or maybe you're just too stupid to know your own name, Cola!"

A growl escaped the ridiculed dog. "Who the fuck pissed on your fireplug, man?! Calm down!"

"What kind of dirty street talk is that?" Limon shot back. "I thought they only hold runaways here. Not strays!

"Say that to my face, you little pest!"

"Shhhhht! Guys, guys!" one of the human girls made as she returned with yet another temporary resident. "I know everyone is excited about the weird chiwawa, but you gotta calm down, or we'll get another noise disturbance complaint, alright."

"Damn foxes, think they can get away with everything..." Coal grumbled, though softer now, to heed the girl's command. He was an actual dog, after all. Obedient and man's best friend, not some untrained, misbehaving, foul-mouthed, obnoxious fox!

Limon flapped his large ears triumphantly. "Whatchu gonna do about it, Cola?!"

Meanwhile, the girl was skimming past the rows of cages to find an empty one to store the beagle she had on a leash. Though, much to her frustration, all compartments were already occupied. "Hmrr... where do we put you...?"

"Guess we'll have to pair him up with someone," her coworker noted.

"Bad idea. This one's got a bit of a leaking problem. And I really don't wanna bath two dogs first thing in the morning. Also, we're obviously pretty crammed already."

"Hm... Then how about we put the chiwowa up with someone? He's small enough."

"That... might work! Can you pick him up?"

Eager to call it a day, the other girl did as asked and swiftly looked for a new quarter for the big eared 'dog'. Though, in wake of his little tantrum, most animals growled at Limon to be spared his company for the night. Only one of them was panting happily and wagged his tail as the girl carried the fox past his cage.

"Aww, look at this! Someone's happy to meet you, lil guy!" The girl cheered, scratching Limon between his ears, now that he was oddly silent. "Do you want to spend the night with Coal? He's such a good boy and will take care of you. Isn't that right, Coal?"

The tail-wagging husky gave a happy squeal and sniffed his new roommate through the cage's bars. "I will take -so- much care of you!" he promised.

And when the husky's cage got opened, the tiny fox's struggle began anew. Though just as the first time, the girl was more than able to handle the little rascal and quickly had him situated with Coal, who gave the human a few friendly licks for good measure.

"Alright, boys and girls, see you tomorrow!"

"No! Wait, you fucking moron! You can't put me up with this mutt! Hey! Come back here! I demand to ha--" The soft clack when the lights turned off, silenced the yapping fox. Swallowing awkwardly, he turned his head towards the husky, he was now locked up with. Coal simply grinned down at him and Limon rolled up into a little, yellow ball of fur. "Please don't bite me..."

The husky chuckled. "No. Oh, no, I wouldn't do something like that. You just heard it yourself: I'm a good boy! Now come here so I can take care of you, you little shit!" Threateningly Coal's large paw came forth to pull on the rolled up fox, who fought back meekly. Clumsily shifting and fidgeting in his crammed, little cage, Coal pushed himself up a bit and pulled the whimpering fox closer and closer. "I'll make sure to keep you nice and warm through the night!"

"N-no... No, no, wait! Please... what are y-- Aurgh!" Limon protested, just before Coal's butt, with his still wagging tail, came down on his tiny form. "Argh! Stop it! You're crushing me!"

"I'm just trying to be a good host," Coal corrected and laid down further on top of the fox to smoother him completely. The little, yellow snout that still poked out from his cozy, black pelt uttered a pained, gasping wheeze as the husky's mass squeezed the air out of his new cellmate. "And if you know what's good for you, you'll stay quite through the night so I can sleep!"

"Hchfffff... Ghlck-help!"