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101","description_bbcode_parsed":"<span style='word-wrap: break-word;'>Trauma 101</span>","writing":"[center][b]CHAPTER XI[/b][/center]\n\n[color=#4e9a06]Something about the way Zonic admitted to all of that was unsettling. He couldn’t fully understand how the guy was so -okay- with being labeled as gay or liking dick up his ass. He was kind of worried… having hoped that Zonic would also be in denial-- well, not denial, but come to his senses that he was too, heterosexual. This was just one situation that got a bit out of hand, a little too messy, a teensy bit too much for them to process with clear minds in the heat of the moment. This wasn’t a thing that should happen again between two people that utterly disliked one another and had very differing belief systems. All of it made no sense, and the whole ‘opposites attract’ bullshit wasn’t supposed to be taken literally for them. \n\nHe felt as though he was cornered here, with Zonic acting so nonchalantly over this… he had a feeling he’d succumb to it as well. There was no homo bone in Scourge’s body till he’d done this, till that goddamn blowjob happened. He never looked at a guy with eyes so wide and thoughts so vast that explored every fantasy akin to sexual and romantic tendencies. Nothing like that ever crossed his mind as it never seemed right to him and now here he was, sharing this couch-bed hybrid with an alternate version of himself, watching some stupid action movie some hours after fucking each other for the first time. He couldn’t even remember how all this started or where it came from. Sure the blowjob, but it went back even further. He assumed prison, as those were his… well, ‘firsts’, albeit non consensual. It gave him a sickening feel in the pit of his stomach, that his first time on the gay side of things was forced, painful and all around disgusting. \n\nNot like he ever had a positive outlook on gayness in itself, it was always kind of weird to him. He never really said much but knew he was very uncomfortable with the thought of himself and another guy kissing or showing each other affection. The thoughts would pop up as the topic circulated such a thing but it never remained. He never had anyone that stayed around that long for him to wonder what it’d be like if he was sexually attracted to a guy. He chased girls, he liked girls, he wanted to fuck girls, he just felt that was ‘Scourge’. Now all of that was flipped on his head, he was confused and not okay with how his body responded to this new sensation that bubbled up whenever he thought about it. \n\nNo doubt, the sexual abuse did cause something to stir in his mind and body. He never admitted to this, but there was still hints of pleasure during those dark moments. His body responded, there was no way around that. Sexual organs just did what they did and being stimulated, used like they should. He got hard, came from those incidents and could never place -how- it was possible. He wasn’t sure of the whole science behind it and suppressed the idea that he could at all enjoy it. After it happening so many times, he grew used to it. Just let it happen, he’d think and that was that. His body would warm up, he’d get hard, he’d moan and cling to the one abusing him, it wasn’t something he wanted but he had to deal with it due to powerlessness. It was a survival tactic, not a desire. And now this very similar yet oh-so-very-different situation changed it even more. \n\nHe was confused, so unsure why now he was … enjoying it. If there was anything to learn from the events before, it was that he did not like being abused like that, he hated the very core of every inmate that came up to him and used him as a hole. He vehemently despised it, that part was never confusing. But this was something else, something he kinda wanted again. But it could’ve just been that he was looking for pleasure in places that offered, it wasn’t like he -had- to be labeled gay for this very secret ritual right? He groaned to himself, not really paying attention to Zonic’s words… He didn’t know what to say to think about it… and now this ‘offer’. \n\nHe wasn’t scared, he wasn’t scared of anyone. He did remember feeling ‘fear’ when those times were happening. He couldn’t do anything to stop it, his body reacted as it was suppose to and his mind was elsewhere. Sometimes it felt like his mind escaped and he was just watching it happen from the sidelines. It was a weird experience. His nightmares reminded him of said fear, but now he didn’t feel that with the cop. No… the cop wasn’t intimidating at all, but his new sexual discovery was a little worrisome. So he supposed there was still -some- fear there, maybe. He turned to the other, not sure that offer was something he wanted, but he was… curious about the idea of winning and having the chain off. \n\n“What about this fuckin’ collar too?” He inquired, looking Zonic dead in the eyes. “I’m not turned on by getting fucked like that, mind you… I mean if I’m fuckin a hole, of course that’s fine. You’re lucky cause I haven’t had that in forever, so of course I wanted it… but looking at you now I don’t feel an ounce of desire for you.” He snickered. “You’re so confident about it too… hmph… Sure.” He shrugged. He was confident too, that he wouldn’t be a drooling mess. It’d hurt, he knew that much. It’d be unenjoyable. “Wait, no… I don’t want it... “ He thought back to what it felt like… some part of him could feel Smalls’ large hands holding him down. He began to shake. “I… no… I can’t.” he frowned. “I mean..” he didn’t know. It was uncomfortable now. He got up from the couch and began to pace. “I wasn’t like them. I didn’t do what they did so of course it felt good, huh?? I don’t know, ugh!” He scratched at his head. This wasn’t a discussion they should be having. [/color]\n[color=#204a87]\nThe challenging grin quickly died on his face as Scourge drifted from saying yes to a very confused and rambly no. This wasn't what he wanted. \"Scourge?\" He was mildly alarmed at the confusion but when Scourge got up and started pacing he actually felt awful in an instant.\n\n\"Scourge.\" He said it a little more energetical this time and got up from the couch himself. He grabbed Scourge's wrist and pulled him back on the couch. This wasn't what he wanted at all. \"You don't have to do anything. Nothing at all.\" Zonic went to the bedroom, hurrying despite his difficulties to walk and came back with a key. He threw it into Scourge's lap.\n\n\"It's the key to the chain on your ankle. Get rid of it. Forget about the deal. I'm not going to do anything to you. Nothing at all. These people in prison... are monsters. For once in your life you didn't do anything wrong!\" He knelt down on the floor in front of Scourge so he could look at him better.\n\nScourge's shaking was visible from this close up and Zonic clenched his teeth. This really wasn't what he wanted at all. \"Look I... maybe I'm just... too excited about this. It was my first time and you made it feel amazing... even though it hurt in the beginning... once you did it with your fingers and the oil it didn't hurt at all. It wasn't just -okay-. I felt like dying but...good. So good that I can't stop thinking about it now... so no matter how much of a criminal you are... if you can make me, someone you hate, feel that good, then you are -not- like them. At all. Not even a little. That's the only reason I'm confident I could make you feel the same way. But I'm not gonna force you and making a deal was a stupid idea. We'll do it the way you want. I don't mind.\"\n\nHe was scratching the back of his own head now. He wasn't a pervert. And he wasn't a rapist either... even if his first sexual interaction happened on... dubious consent. That was definitely something he didn't want to repeat. Zonic was mentally scolding himself for being too pushy.\n\nThis was just... new. And exciting. And it'd felt so good he'd almost lost his mind. After so many years as a cop the most thrilling thing he got to experience were christmas parties with his coworkers. And mostly because Zector got very drunk. There were no criminals out here who posed a real challenge. No one as strong. No one as fast. He'd been so bored he didn't even -notice- he was bored. And now that something exciting happened in his life he clung to it with all his might. And obviously, while doing so, he'd completely forgotten about Scourge's awful backstory.\n\n\"Also... why do you keep going on about being gay. Does it matter? Maybe I'm gay. Maybe I'm into guys -and- ladies. I can't tell. But it doesn't matter. If you're straight and still enjoyed doing it with me then isn't that proof that it just doesn't matter? Stop thinking so hard about it. Nothing that happens here is ever gonna leave this house anyway. You said it yourself. It's just about feeling good. You hate me. And I... don't particularly like you either. I wouldn't date you if you begged me to. You're lazy. You're an asshole. You're needy. You're arrogant and incredibly stupid. And to make it worse you're a criminal, and I'm a cop. So I think you're just thinking about this too much. I felt good, you felt good, what's it all matter?\" He shrugged.\n\nHis knees started aching but he wanted to stay kneeling in front of Scourge until he got a reply. He could just see the criminal's face much better from here.[/color]\n\n[color=#4e9a06]The room felt cold, not at all like the livingroom he was casually lazing about in. He was almost sure he had just woken up from a dream or maybe a nightmare was just beginning. He could smell those smells from his cell, the way that the bed rocked when Smalls would get down from the top bunk. The banging from guards running their batons along the bars, the yelling and loud banter of other inmates across the way. He looked around, was this a hallucination?? Was he actually back? Having imagined a whole few weeks in Zonic’s place felt… wrong. He didn’t trust what he was seeing, holding his head for a moment, closing his eyes hoping to wake up from whatever -this- was. \n\n‘It’s that time again, Snot.’ He heard it so clearly, the presence of someone standing right behind him. The sudden contact with a rounded belly behind him, hands on his shoulders slowly sliding down his arms and onto his hips. He’s being undressed and frozen in place. He can’t say stop, he doesn’t want to. He’d get his shit kicked in and possibly pass out from getting beaten to nothing… it happened before and he only remembers waking up to new faces surrounding him with a surge of pain shooting from his lower half. A gangbang, if he could recall. It was all so painful, it was terrible, embarrassing. He wanted to die-- \n\nThe chain around his leg was unhooked, Zonic’s voice came into focus and the light around him felt blinding. He was staring down at Zonic but didn’t see him. He was back in reality, it was just a flashback. Why did that just appear now. His eyes felt as though they were so dry, a migraine possibly coming on from the sudden throb. He was so confused, how did… \n\n‘Forget about the deal. I'm not going to do anything to you. Nothing at all. These people in prison... are monsters. For once..’ That’s what he was hearing. It wasn’t registering but zonic was trying to comfort him, he could kind of tell. With the chain off his leg, Scourge shook his head, putting his hand over his eyes for a moment to sooth whatever pain he could. Scourge couldn’t do this, not if he was going to be dealing with flashbacks like that. It was bad enough he had nightmares that reoccured every so often. He felt behind him, putting his hand on the couch and sat down. The shaking didn’t stop, the fear in his eyes didn’t leave. He was stuck in this inevitable mood and it made him feel sick. \n\nFor a moment, Scourge felt like he had no voice. He didn’t really want Zonic anywhere near him. As if that wasn’t a big deal… the label itself clashed with his very identity! He didn’t want to talk about it anymore… \n\n“Okay, enough.” He managed to choke out. “No more…” He fell silent again, just wanting to sleep. Whatever Zonic was going on about, he didn’t fully hear it all. He probably could’ve used the advice but it was too much for now. “I’m gonna… take a nap. I feel like fuckin’ vomiting.” He turned from the other, his expression was so strained, trying to not look disturbed but he was. He pulled his legs up from the floor and laid on the mattress below. He pulled the covers over himself, curling up and closed his eyes as tightly as he could. The memories were too vivid, bits of how painful it all was sparked within him. He didn’t want to be touched or spoken to, just wanted to be alone for a while. He didn’t feel like himself. Why couldn’t he just toss the bad thoughts aside?? This wasn’t how Scourge handled things. He felt so weak, having this overwhelming sadness and defeat wash over him. His heart hurt, everything felt heavy. \n\nTrauma was a bitch to deal with but he didn’t understand why it lingered like this. Why was it a constant reminder, a thought or feeling? He couldn’t just go through his days without thinking about those faces, those perverted faces drooling all over him, their hands touching places they didn’t belong. The violation just kept resurfacing. What the fuck did he do to deserve a constant replay of it all? [/color]\n\n[color=#204a87]Zonic bit his bottom lip as he was told to stop talking. But he complied. This was painful to look at. \"I'm sorry.\" He mumbled. This didn't feel good. He wanted to help, but he didn't know how. Scourge hadn't even been really looking at him. More... -through- him. Creepy. And why was his heart hurting so much. That wasn't normal right? Your heart wasn't supposed to randomly hurt over the suffering of someone you were supposed to hate. Right? But then hate was such a strong word. He didn't -hate- Scourge. The green hedgehog hadn't done anything to him personally. He was a criminal, sure, and he disagreed with his ways. But he didn't -hate- him. And most importantly... he didn't want him to suffer like that. Scourge wasn't bad enough to deserve anything like -this-.\n\nAfter a moment he slowly got up. His hips were still killing him but he had to... -do- something. Sitting here quietly would drive him insane. So he paced for a moment, trying not to make any noise. He'd messed up by pushing Scourge into something like this. He'd messed up so bad. How could he have thought that this was fine? How could he have thought that Scourge trusted him enough to do something he was so severly traumatized by.\n\nIn the end, Zonic didn't know how to help himself or Scourge at all so he grabbed his communicator and limped out to the balcony. The little device flashed, making a small beeping sound and then a small image appeared on the display.\n\n\"Zonic? It's your free day. What is it?\" Zally seemed worried. For good reasons, too. After all he usually didn't call anyone unless he absolutely had to. \"Zal... Do you have a minute?\" What was he even going to ask.\n\n\"I'm on break so, yes I have a minute. By chaos, Officer, what happened to your face.\" She'd gotten a little closer to the screen and was squinting at the image. \"A story for another time, Zal. More importantly... you told me about this book... a while ago. What was it.\" He wanted to keep pacing but the pain in his hips forced him to sit.\n\n\"I recommend a lot of books to you Zonic, what do you mean?\" She seemed to be making a mental list of books she'd recommended before.\n\n\"The one about Trauma.\"\n\n\"You mean the book about PTSD? Why do you need it? You know it's more supporting literature for couples. To help someone deal with their loved one's PTSD. If you want a good book on PTSD itself then-\"\n\n\"No. No I need that one. Do you have it?\"\n\n\"Zonic, since when do you have a girlfriend with PTSD?\"\n\n\"It's... for a friend.\"\n\n\"Uhuh... sure. You know you're talking to No-Zone's top attorney right?\"\n\n\"I just need a book, Zal. Can I have it or not?\"\n\n\"I have a digital version. I'll send you that. But only if you promise to tell me what by -Chaos- is going on. And soon.\"\n\n\"After work tomorrow... I'll buy you dinner?\"\n\n\"Fair enough. Just tell me now, are you in trouble? This is the first time you're being so secretive.\"\n\n\"I'm in no trouble. It's just... hard to explain. Wait til tomorrow.\"\n\n\"Fine. I'm sending you the book now. Take care, Zonic. I'll see you tomorrow.\"\n\n\"Thanks, Zal.\"\n\nAnd with a second little noise the image was gone. Only now he noticed that he was incredibly tense. She was his superior and the toughest attorney in the multiverse but she was also his friend and a fellow book lover.\n\nZonic snuck back into the house to fetch his laptop, and made himself comfortable on the couch again, but with a safe distance to scourge and making as little noise as possible.\n\nThe book's pdf file was there just as Zally promised and he started reading.\n\n-Helping Someone with PTSD ; How to help a loved one while taking care of yourself-\n\nThe first thing that caught his eye were the 'communication pitfalls to avoid' and he felt himself shrinking into the couch.\n\n'Don't give ultimatums or make threats or demands'\n\nWell he'd fucked that one up gloriously twice already. He scrolled down the pages quickly.\n\n'How to rebuild trust and safety'\n\n- Express your commitment to the relationship. (Yeah that one was a bit hard, considering they... had no relationship to speak of)\n\n- Create routines (aka. regular times for meals, shared chores at the same times, regular downtimes... if he could get Scourge to do chores that was possible for sure. Would it help though?)\n\n- Minimize stress at home, make sure your loved one has space and time for rest and relaxation (...loved one. This book wasn't going to help was it? Still he could give Scourge his down times. Technically he had them while he was at work, anyway. Did that count?)\n\n- Speak of the future and make plans (oh lord... )\n\n- Keep your promises (especially those regarding sexual stuff. He could absolutely not ever do anything without Scourge's consent again. In fact he was gonna wait for Scourge to initiate things. Just to be safe.)\n\n- Let your loved one take the lead, rather than telling them what to do. (That one was... nice in theory but... not necessarily possible. If he let Scourge make decisions he'd already be at large again.)\n\nHis cheeks were slightly red while reading because the book kept referring to his 'loved one' while he was trying to learn how to deal with scourge in the future. There were some helpful tips to ground someone during a panic attack and lots of other helpful facts that he had no idea about. He'd have to re-read the small book a few times to internalize it all. Either way he was determined to keep Scourge around, so he had to be able to take care of him properly. Even if he wasn't a 'loved one', Zonic was more or less confident he could still learn to make the criminal feel safe and... at least somewhat at home. This -was- his home now. And Zonic his only social contact.\n\nHe read until his eyes hurt and leaned his head back. Scourge felt like a fulltime job after his usual full time job. But at the same time he didn't regret it. Scourge's flashback had startled him. But he was gonna be better at dealing with it if it happened again. For now all he could do was damage control. He'd done a lot of damage. No wonder Scourge hated him so much. He'd done everything wrong. Touched him suddenly. Threatened him. Pressured him. No more. He was gonna try to be better. Hopefully.[/color]\n[color=#4e9a06]\nThough Zonic was attempting to be silent in his movements, Scourge could still hear and make out his movement patterns, slightly. With his heightened senses bulked up on sudden paranoia and his fight-or-flight responses at the ready, he couldn’t help but pay too much attention to what was going on around him. The steps grew fainter… the blacony door opened, closed, few minutes later it opened again. The other moved closer, suddenly some other part of the couch decompressed from the weight of Zonic sitting down, silence again. He could barely breathe under the blanket from holding it in, but after there was little to no activity for a couple of minutes, he began to relax. He didn’t know how hard he was clenching his jaw, or how tense his shoulders were, the fact he was sweating under his arms or his forehead was soaked.\n\nThis feeling of ‘fear’ was so… unheard of. He hated that it was somewhat familiar now. Since when was a Sonic this fearful of another person’s presence, to the degree of hiding away?? He wanted to get up, maybe even sit in that stupid cage Zonic bragged so much about just to be enclosed in a space of his own. With the sound of his own heartbeat in his ears, his stomach churning in all kinds of places, Scourge tried to practice slow, inaudible breaths. He felt like coughing from how imbalanced his approach was. He wanted to be unseen, unheard, just disappear from this place. It was like this all the way till he fell asleep. \n\nHe dreamt, another reminder maybe, but he didn’t wake up feeling better. \n\n[i]‘I guess I kinda see why everyone’s so crazy about you.’ That voice was annoying to listen to, possibly worse than Smalls at the very moment. Scourge felt so tired, his whole body was heavy and moving felt almost impossible. His vision was so blurry, everything was wavy shapes, the man above him just black and white smeared together, but he could still make out who it was, that smarmy tone in his voice… ‘Don’t worry though, I’m not like the others. I have some class to my approach at least.’ It sounded like a joke almost, a really shitty one. He was flipped over, hips raised but kept up due to Scourge being unable to move his body like normal. He felt himself groan, one eye opened as he tried to turn his head to watch what the other was doing. He was… powerless again. ‘Promise I won’t be so brutal… I mean we did have a deal. You were under King Maxx’s protection… therefore you kinda belong to him. I just get rather… nice benefits to his ‘assets’, you see. You don’t mind right?’ Jeffrey’s hand wasn’t too cold, it was actually rather warm. The way it caressed his lower back, careful and cautious. ‘I at least gave you something for this… You might not remember when you wake up.’ [/i]\n\nScourge kicked his legs, throwing the blanket off of him and instantly sat up. He was sweating everywhere, felt hot all over and his heart was still racing. He hadn’t had this many bad memories/flashbacks come at him so much. Nothing really triggered it, but he felt as though they could be over now… He was awake, he was aware of his actual surroundings. Taking a moment to breathe was a lot harder than it looked. He moved his feet off the bed, noticing the chain that was usually there was now gone. He vaguely remembered the cop taking it off… must’ve felt bad again. Dumbass was too soft, but Scourge wasn’t going to complain. He still felt sick, like everything inside his stomach was screaming to come out. He didn’t want to vomit, it hurt to bad sometimes and he wasn’t interested in seeing that amazing stew turned chummy from it being halfway digested. He limped over to the balcony, finally he could sit outside, the chain never allowed him to. He opened the door, closing it right after and leaned over the wooden gate. He sighed to himself, it was nighttime now… \n\nThis place was crazy looking no matter how long he’d been here. It was… weird, but he started to get used to being on the walls rather than the fuckin floor. He watched cars go up the vertical highways, homes that sat sideways from him with lights on and people inside having dinners or watching tv. There were some watering their gardens thanks to the sun finally going down, some walking their pets and others just having a nice night outside. A party was happening a few houses down, he wondered if it was just bratty college kids or something middle aged loser’s birthday. He wouldn’t mind going over there, possibly getting as drunk as possible to numb it all. He missed alcohol so much, missed the feeling of certain drugs that made life a little more interesting. He laid his cheek on his arm, watching the party lights flash and the group of people partying outside dance. He bet there were a lot of horny girls down there, haha. \n\nNah, he wasn’t really interested in sex right now. It grossed him out so much, it felt like some sort of prude was possessing him right now. He shook his head, disappointed in himself. He felt like such a different person coming out of prison. Scarred from injuries none like the physical bruising and broken bones he was so used to. Those didn’t even compare. Nothing like those had anything on what he felt right now. Scourge wasn’t a stranger to breaking someone’s spirit down to control and manipulate, hell, he’d down it before. He was king at some point, by force. He was able to use his strength and intimidating personality to make people kneel, it was such a wonderful time. What fun it’d be like to take over the Zone Jail and use that same tactic on the ones who hurt him. \n\nScourge sat down on the lounge seat, looking down at his feet. He missed running. He missed being able to go where ever he wanted. His leg was still so useless, running was still impossible. It sucked, all of this sucked. Sure, he could move freely now, he was able to do his own thing and he was in a safer place… but it wasn’t enough. He needed more, to be like before his imprisonment. That was too much to ask for. His heart ached, ached in ways he couldn’t describe. He wasn’t going to cry, no fuck doing all that. That was sheer weakness. He gulped down that choking feeling building up, looked up over the edge of the balcony gate, standing up again and looked down. He could… maybe try leaving… it probably wouldn’t help to ask the cop for one night of being out of the house. \n\nHe -needed- to be out. It was a mandatory demand in his mind. Turning back to the sliding door, he opened it up, looking for the cop. He must’ve passed him without even noticing. \n\n“Hey… I know I haven’t been the most… agreeable but, I wanna go outside.” He kept it sweet and short. “If I ask -anything- from you, it’s just to go outside. You can keep watch or whatever, I don’t care I just. I need to be outside, I can’t sit in here.” He frowned, not making eye contact. “You got uh, anything I can cover my face with?” He was determined… even if Zonic refused, he’d sneak out when the cop fell asleep. He had to be outside. [/color]\n\n[color=#204a87]Zonic almost fell off the couch he was so startled when Scourge woke up. He'd been dozing off over his PTSD book. He wanted to read all of it. Internalize it. But his body was still so exhausted. So of course his heart nearly jumped out of his chest when Scourge shot up like that. He watched him walk out on the balcony and cast a worried look after his roommate, closing the laptop.\n\nHe spent minutes fighting with himself over if he wanted to go outside, or not. In the end he didn't. The book said to give the person their free space. He tried to read a little more but he couldn't concentrate. So he ended up changing the sheets on Scourge's makeshift bed. The covers were soaked. He'd obviously had nightmares. That wasn't a surprise. He was just in the process of folding the blanket back onto the couch when Scourge entered the room again.\n\nAnd to his massive surprise he talked to him. Calmly. The request made his brain work. He wanted nothing more than to grant it. Finally Scourge was asking something of him in a civil polite way, how could he say no? It wasn't a stupid escape attempt either. Still it wasn't an easy request to fill.\n\n\"Well where... do you want to go? If we don't meet my coworkers nobody in the neighbourhood knows who you are. You weren't in the news here. We keep multiverse cases under lock at the station. So you don't... really have to hide. You can be my cousin...visiting.\" He scratched the back of his head. \"You can't go... 'naked' though.\" His attempt to casuallly stroll into the bedroom ended with a small groan and him nearly falling over his feet. Right. Walking was still hard.\n\nThe perfect day to take a walk. At least they'd both be limping. Zonic fetched a tanktop and Scourge's leather jacket together with some pants and Scourge's own shoes. Just moving a little slower this time. \"Here. If you wear these, promise not to leave my side and not to pick a fight with my neighbours... we can go out. You can go wherever you want. But I'm coming along. And I spot a coworker of mine we have to hide. You can have one of those cheap masks that people wear when they catch a cold if it makes you feel better. I think I have some of those laying around somewhere.\"\n\nIn his mind he added a plea for this to not turn into a disaster. If it went well they could do it again. Hell if Scourge behaved they could even race someday. Though the inhibitor collar would have to come off and... he was very hesitant about that. Still this was a little exciting. Maybe it'd make Scourge feel a little better, and him a little less guilty, too.[/color]\n[color=#4e9a06]\nHe wasn’t even surprised that the cop said yes. There had been so much guilt in the other’s eyes, it was kinda sad to watch. Sonics like that so bound to the idea of kindness and justice, being hospitable to others and just having a general good nature to them. He knew this was how they operated, something he couldn’t understand. He could easily leave if he wanted to, make up some elaborate plan to escape and get the collar off. Sonic in general was too trusting. He was a little glad he didn’t have such a weak attribute like that, but it was helping him in its own way, so he couldn’t complain. Being given clothes was fine, he didn’t mind them, though pants were debatable. He simply put them on, feeling a wave of comfort hit him once his signature jacket was on. \n\n“You sure no one will recognize the jacket?” He asked, patting down the sleeves. He sat down, putting on his socks and shoes, feeling his cheeks and face. He knew his teeth were a little on the strange side. Hedgehogs didn’t have such sharp teeth like his, maybe canines but now all of their teeth were like this. He frowned, nodding at the mention of a cold mask to cover up his face a little. He didn’t mind this though, maybe just covering up would help… he kind of felt a little too aware of his own body anyways. Scourge was tempted to make a comment on this… whole thing, but figured he wasn’t in the mode for arguing. He didn’t need snarky comebacks from Zonic, though he was sure the cop wouldn’t say much thanks to how guilty he must’ve been feeling. \n\nIt wasn’t that he blamed the guy for the sudden PTSD attack, it wasn’t like Scourge was talkative about his trauma… It didn’t really register as a trigger of any sort. What did Zonic even have to feel so bad about when this one time, he didn’t do much of anything? Oh well, he wasn’t about to comfort the other for feeling that way. His own fault for bringing a broken criminal to his house so now he’d just have to deal with it. When Scourge was ready, mask on and clothes comfortably settled, he went to the door, waiting for Zonic to open it. \n\nThe night sky was so odd around here, the whole place just flipped on its side, but he felt at peace. He missed home, missed the way things looked and how that dimension made sense. Still, the massive shape of this place had a charm to it. He felt a little confused sometimes where to look or how to navigate but by this time, he was -mostly- used to it all. Actually leaving the house, seeing the outside cell… that could’ve been where he’d be. He didn’t mind it too much, it’d have been a slightly easier way to transition from shitty prison cell to bland yet comfortable house. \n\nWalking towards the end of the walkway of Zonic’s house and coming to the sidewalk, he was caught up in which way to go. He wanted to see that party, but he also wanted to lay low. His mind was swimming in feelings he didn’t want to expose, so walking the opposite direction made the most sense. The neighborhood was quiet, save for the bumpin’ bass from the house party nearly a block away. He wasn’t sure where he was going, and his limp wasn’t particularly helping his adventurous spirit prosper. He knew he’d need a break at some point… \n\n“You guys got a park around here? I’m sure a nice lil’ neighborhood like this has some sort of school somewhere nearby with a ma and pop store… looks like those typical rich homes with every lil thing they need.” He scoffed, it was a nice place but damn was he a little envious. Something about it was actually nice. Being in a quiet neighborhood felt like an ideal place… maybe having a thrown wasn’t so great… at least for now. “Might need to sit down for a bit… Maybe get some liquor or snacks… I’m dyin to spoil myself with feel good shit… since I feel like utter garbage.” He was really quiet. Very different from the loud, boisterous personality he presented. [/color]\n[center][b]\nTBC...[/b][/center]","writing_bbcode_parsed":"<span style='word-wrap: break-word;'><div class='align_center'><strong>CHAPTER XI</strong></div><br /><br /><span style=\"color: #4e9a06;\">Something about the way Zonic admitted to all of that was unsettling. He couldn&rsquo;t fully understand how the guy was so -okay- with being labeled as gay or liking dick up his ass. He was kind of worried&hellip; having hoped that Zonic would also be in denial-- well, not denial, but come to his senses that he was too, heterosexual. This was just one situation that got a bit out of hand, a little too messy, a teensy bit too much for them to process with clear minds in the heat of the moment. This wasn&rsquo;t a thing that should happen again between two people that utterly disliked one another and had very differing belief systems. All of it made no sense, and the whole &lsquo;opposites attract&rsquo; bullshit wasn&rsquo;t supposed to be taken literally for them. <br /><br />He felt as though he was cornered here, with Zonic acting so nonchalantly over this&hellip; he had a feeling he&rsquo;d succumb to it as well. There was no homo bone in Scourge&rsquo;s body till he&rsquo;d done this, till that goddamn blowjob happened. He never looked at a guy with eyes so wide and thoughts so vast that explored every fantasy akin to sexual and romantic tendencies. Nothing like that ever crossed his mind as it never seemed right to him and now here he was, sharing this couch-bed hybrid with an alternate version of himself, watching some stupid action movie some hours after fucking each other for the first time. He couldn&rsquo;t even remember how all this started or where it came from. Sure the blowjob, but it went back even further. He assumed prison, as those were his&hellip; well, &lsquo;firsts&rsquo;, albeit non consensual. It gave him a sickening feel in the pit of his stomach, that his first time on the gay side of things was forced, painful and all around disgusting. <br /><br />Not like he ever had a positive outlook on gayness in itself, it was always kind of weird to him. He never really said much but knew he was very uncomfortable with the thought of himself and another guy kissing or showing each other affection. The thoughts would pop up as the topic circulated such a thing but it never remained. He never had anyone that stayed around that long for him to wonder what it&rsquo;d be like if he was sexually attracted to a guy. He chased girls, he liked girls, he wanted to fuck girls, he just felt that was &lsquo;Scourge&rsquo;. Now all of that was flipped on his head, he was confused and not okay with how his body responded to this new sensation that bubbled up whenever he thought about it. <br /><br />No doubt, the sexual abuse did cause something to stir in his mind and body. He never admitted to this, but there was still hints of pleasure during those dark moments. His body responded, there was no way around that. Sexual organs just did what they did and being stimulated, used like they should. He got hard, came from those incidents and could never place -how- it was possible. He wasn&rsquo;t sure of the whole science behind it and suppressed the idea that he could at all enjoy it. After it happening so many times, he grew used to it. Just let it happen, he&rsquo;d think and that was that. His body would warm up, he&rsquo;d get hard, he&rsquo;d moan and cling to the one abusing him, it wasn&rsquo;t something he wanted but he had to deal with it due to powerlessness. It was a survival tactic, not a desire. And now this very similar yet oh-so-very-different situation changed it even more. <br /><br />He was confused, so unsure why now he was &hellip; enjoying it. If there was anything to learn from the events before, it was that he did not like being abused like that, he hated the very core of every inmate that came up to him and used him as a hole. He vehemently despised it, that part was never confusing. But this was something else, something he kinda wanted again. But it could&rsquo;ve just been that he was looking for pleasure in places that offered, it wasn&rsquo;t like he -had- to be labeled gay for this very secret ritual right? He groaned to himself, not really paying attention to Zonic&rsquo;s words&hellip; He didn&rsquo;t know what to say to think about it&hellip; and now this &lsquo;offer&rsquo;. <br /><br />He wasn&rsquo;t scared, he wasn&rsquo;t scared of anyone. He did remember feeling &lsquo;fear&rsquo; when those times were happening. He couldn&rsquo;t do anything to stop it, his body reacted as it was suppose to and his mind was elsewhere. Sometimes it felt like his mind escaped and he was just watching it happen from the sidelines. It was a weird experience. His nightmares reminded him of said fear, but now he didn&rsquo;t feel that with the cop. No&hellip; the cop wasn&rsquo;t intimidating at all, but his new sexual discovery was a little worrisome. So he supposed there was still -some- fear there, maybe. He turned to the other, not sure that offer was something he wanted, but he was&hellip; curious about the idea of winning and having the chain off. <br /><br />&ldquo;What about this fuckin&rsquo; collar too?&rdquo; He inquired, looking Zonic dead in the eyes. &ldquo;I&rsquo;m not turned on by getting fucked like that, mind you&hellip; I mean if I&rsquo;m fuckin a hole, of course that&rsquo;s fine. You&rsquo;re lucky cause I haven&rsquo;t had that in forever, so of course I wanted it&hellip; but looking at you now I don&rsquo;t feel an ounce of desire for you.&rdquo; He snickered. &ldquo;You&rsquo;re so confident about it too&hellip; hmph&hellip; Sure.&rdquo; He shrugged. He was confident too, that he wouldn&rsquo;t be a drooling mess. It&rsquo;d hurt, he knew that much. It&rsquo;d be unenjoyable. &ldquo;Wait, no&hellip; I don&rsquo;t want it... &ldquo; He thought back to what it felt like&hellip; some part of him could feel Smalls&rsquo; large hands holding him down. He began to shake. &ldquo;I&hellip; no&hellip; I can&rsquo;t.&rdquo; he frowned. &ldquo;I mean..&rdquo; he didn&rsquo;t know. It was uncomfortable now. He got up from the couch and began to pace. &ldquo;I wasn&rsquo;t like them. I didn&rsquo;t do what they did so of course it felt good, huh?? I don&rsquo;t know, ugh!&rdquo; He scratched at his head. This wasn&rsquo;t a discussion they should be having. </span><br /><span style=\"color: #204a87;\"><br />The challenging grin quickly died on his face as Scourge drifted from saying yes to a very confused and rambly no. This wasn&#039;t what he wanted. &quot;Scourge?&quot; He was mildly alarmed at the confusion but when Scourge got up and started pacing he actually felt awful in an instant.<br /><br />&quot;Scourge.&quot; He said it a little more energetical this time and got up from the couch himself. He grabbed Scourge&#039;s wrist and pulled him back on the couch. This wasn&#039;t what he wanted at all. &quot;You don&#039;t have to do anything. Nothing at all.&quot; Zonic went to the bedroom, hurrying despite his difficulties to walk and came back with a key. He threw it into Scourge&#039;s lap.<br /><br />&quot;It&#039;s the key to the chain on your ankle. Get rid of it. Forget about the deal. I&#039;m not going to do anything to you. Nothing at all. These people in prison... are monsters. For once in your life you didn&#039;t do anything wrong!&quot; He knelt down on the floor in front of Scourge so he could look at him better.<br /><br />Scourge&#039;s shaking was visible from this close up and Zonic clenched his teeth. This really wasn&#039;t what he wanted at all. &quot;Look I... maybe I&#039;m just... too excited about this. It was my first time and you made it feel amazing... even though it hurt in the beginning... once you did it with your fingers and the oil it didn&#039;t hurt at all. It wasn&#039;t just -okay-. I felt like dying but...good. So good that I can&#039;t stop thinking about it now... so no matter how much of a criminal you are... if you can make me, someone you hate, feel that good, then you are -not- like them. At all. Not even a little. That&#039;s the only reason I&#039;m confident I could make you feel the same way. But I&#039;m not gonna force you and making a deal was a stupid idea. We&#039;ll do it the way you want. I don&#039;t mind.&quot;<br /><br />He was scratching the back of his own head now. He wasn&#039;t a pervert. And he wasn&#039;t a rapist either... even if his first sexual interaction happened on... dubious consent. That was definitely something he didn&#039;t want to repeat. Zonic was mentally scolding himself for being too pushy.<br /><br />This was just... new. And exciting. And it&#039;d felt so good he&#039;d almost lost his mind. After so many years as a cop the most thrilling thing he got to experience were christmas parties with his coworkers. And mostly because Zector got very drunk. There were no criminals out here who posed a real challenge. No one as strong. No one as fast. He&#039;d been so bored he didn&#039;t even -notice- he was bored. And now that something exciting happened in his life he clung to it with all his might. And obviously, while doing so, he&#039;d completely forgotten about Scourge&#039;s awful backstory.<br /><br />&quot;Also... why do you keep going on about being gay. Does it matter? Maybe I&#039;m gay. Maybe I&#039;m into guys -and- ladies. I can&#039;t tell. But it doesn&#039;t matter. If you&#039;re straight and still enjoyed doing it with me then isn&#039;t that proof that it just doesn&#039;t matter? Stop thinking so hard about it. Nothing that happens here is ever gonna leave this house anyway. You said it yourself. It&#039;s just about feeling good. You hate me. And I... don&#039;t particularly like you either. I wouldn&#039;t date you if you begged me to. You&#039;re lazy. You&#039;re an asshole. You&#039;re needy. You&#039;re arrogant and incredibly stupid. And to make it worse you&#039;re a criminal, and I&#039;m a cop. So I think you&#039;re just thinking about this too much. I felt good, you felt good, what&#039;s it all matter?&quot; He shrugged.<br /><br />His knees started aching but he wanted to stay kneeling in front of Scourge until he got a reply. He could just see the criminal&#039;s face much better from here.</span><br /><br /><span style=\"color: #4e9a06;\">The room felt cold, not at all like the livingroom he was casually lazing about in. He was almost sure he had just woken up from a dream or maybe a nightmare was just beginning. He could smell those smells from his cell, the way that the bed rocked when Smalls would get down from the top bunk. The banging from guards running their batons along the bars, the yelling and loud banter of other inmates across the way. He looked around, was this a hallucination?? Was he actually back? Having imagined a whole few weeks in Zonic&rsquo;s place felt&hellip; wrong. He didn&rsquo;t trust what he was seeing, holding his head for a moment, closing his eyes hoping to wake up from whatever -this- was. <br /><br />&lsquo;It&rsquo;s that time again, Snot.&rsquo; He heard it so clearly, the presence of someone standing right behind him. The sudden contact with a rounded belly behind him, hands on his shoulders slowly sliding down his arms and onto his hips. He&rsquo;s being undressed and frozen in place. He can&rsquo;t say stop, he doesn&rsquo;t want to. He&rsquo;d get his shit kicked in and possibly pass out from getting beaten to nothing&hellip; it happened before and he only remembers waking up to new faces surrounding him with a surge of pain shooting from his lower half. A gangbang, if he could recall. It was all so painful, it was terrible, embarrassing. He wanted to die-- <br /><br />The chain around his leg was unhooked, Zonic&rsquo;s voice came into focus and the light around him felt blinding. He was staring down at Zonic but didn&rsquo;t see him. He was back in reality, it was just a flashback. Why did that just appear now. His eyes felt as though they were so dry, a migraine possibly coming on from the sudden throb. He was so confused, how did&hellip; <br /><br />&lsquo;Forget about the deal. I&#039;m not going to do anything to you. Nothing at all. These people in prison... are monsters. For once..&rsquo; That&rsquo;s what he was hearing. It wasn&rsquo;t registering but zonic was trying to comfort him, he could kind of tell. With the chain off his leg, Scourge shook his head, putting his hand over his eyes for a moment to sooth whatever pain he could. Scourge couldn&rsquo;t do this, not if he was going to be dealing with flashbacks like that. It was bad enough he had nightmares that reoccured every so often. He felt behind him, putting his hand on the couch and sat down. The shaking didn&rsquo;t stop, the fear in his eyes didn&rsquo;t leave. He was stuck in this inevitable mood and it made him feel sick. <br /><br />For a moment, Scourge felt like he had no voice. He didn&rsquo;t really want Zonic anywhere near him. As if that wasn&rsquo;t a big deal&hellip; the label itself clashed with his very identity! He didn&rsquo;t want to talk about it anymore&hellip; <br /><br />&ldquo;Okay, enough.&rdquo; He managed to choke out. &ldquo;No more&hellip;&rdquo; He fell silent again, just wanting to sleep. Whatever Zonic was going on about, he didn&rsquo;t fully hear it all. He probably could&rsquo;ve used the advice but it was too much for now. &ldquo;I&rsquo;m gonna&hellip; take a nap. I feel like fuckin&rsquo; vomiting.&rdquo; He turned from the other, his expression was so strained, trying to not look disturbed but he was. He pulled his legs up from the floor and laid on the mattress below. He pulled the covers over himself, curling up and closed his eyes as tightly as he could. The memories were too vivid, bits of how painful it all was sparked within him. He didn&rsquo;t want to be touched or spoken to, just wanted to be alone for a while. He didn&rsquo;t feel like himself. Why couldn&rsquo;t he just toss the bad thoughts aside?? This wasn&rsquo;t how Scourge handled things. He felt so weak, having this overwhelming sadness and defeat wash over him. His heart hurt, everything felt heavy. <br /><br />Trauma was a bitch to deal with but he didn&rsquo;t understand why it lingered like this. Why was it a constant reminder, a thought or feeling? He couldn&rsquo;t just go through his days without thinking about those faces, those perverted faces drooling all over him, their hands touching places they didn&rsquo;t belong. The violation just kept resurfacing. What the fuck did he do to deserve a constant replay of it all? </span><br /><br /><span style=\"color: #204a87;\">Zonic bit his bottom lip as he was told to stop talking. But he complied. This was painful to look at. &quot;I&#039;m sorry.&quot; He mumbled. This didn&#039;t feel good. He wanted to help, but he didn&#039;t know how. Scourge hadn&#039;t even been really looking at him. More... -through- him. Creepy. And why was his heart hurting so much. That wasn&#039;t normal right? Your heart wasn&#039;t supposed to randomly hurt over the suffering of someone you were supposed to hate. Right? But then hate was such a strong word. He didn&#039;t -hate- Scourge. The green hedgehog hadn&#039;t done anything to him personally. He was a criminal, sure, and he disagreed with his ways. But he didn&#039;t -hate- him. And most importantly... he didn&#039;t want him to suffer like that. Scourge wasn&#039;t bad enough to deserve anything like -this-.<br /><br />After a moment he slowly got up. His hips were still killing him but he had to... -do- something. Sitting here quietly would drive him insane. So he paced for a moment, trying not to make any noise. He&#039;d messed up by pushing Scourge into something like this. He&#039;d messed up so bad. How could he have thought that this was fine? How could he have thought that Scourge trusted him enough to do something he was so severly traumatized by.<br /><br />In the end, Zonic didn&#039;t know how to help himself or Scourge at all so he grabbed his communicator and limped out to the balcony. The little device flashed, making a small beeping sound and then a small image appeared on the display.<br /><br />&quot;Zonic? It&#039;s your free day. What is it?&quot; Zally seemed worried. For good reasons, too. After all he usually didn&#039;t call anyone unless he absolutely had to. &quot;Zal... Do you have a minute?&quot; What was he even going to ask.<br /><br />&quot;I&#039;m on break so, yes I have a minute. By chaos, Officer, what happened to your face.&quot; She&#039;d gotten a little closer to the screen and was squinting at the image. &quot;A story for another time, Zal. More importantly... you told me about this book... a while ago. What was it.&quot; He wanted to keep pacing but the pain in his hips forced him to sit.<br /><br />&quot;I recommend a lot of books to you Zonic, what do you mean?&quot; She seemed to be making a mental list of books she&#039;d recommended before.<br /><br />&quot;The one about Trauma.&quot;<br /><br />&quot;You mean the book about PTSD? Why do you need it? You know it&#039;s more supporting literature for couples. To help someone deal with their loved one&#039;s PTSD. If you want a good book on PTSD itself then-&quot;<br /><br />&quot;No. No I need that one. Do you have it?&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Zonic, since when do you have a girlfriend with PTSD?&quot;<br /><br />&quot;It&#039;s... for a friend.&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Uhuh... sure. You know you&#039;re talking to No-Zone&#039;s top attorney right?&quot;<br /><br />&quot;I just need a book, Zal. Can I have it or not?&quot;<br /><br />&quot;I have a digital version. I&#039;ll send you that. But only if you promise to tell me what by -Chaos- is going on. And soon.&quot;<br /><br />&quot;After work tomorrow... I&#039;ll buy you dinner?&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Fair enough. Just tell me now, are you in trouble? This is the first time you&#039;re being so secretive.&quot;<br /><br />&quot;I&#039;m in no trouble. It&#039;s just... hard to explain. Wait til tomorrow.&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Fine. I&#039;m sending you the book now. Take care, Zonic. I&#039;ll see you tomorrow.&quot;<br /><br />&quot;Thanks, Zal.&quot;<br /><br />And with a second little noise the image was gone. Only now he noticed that he was incredibly tense. She was his superior and the toughest attorney in the multiverse but she was also his friend and a fellow book lover.<br /><br />Zonic snuck back into the house to fetch his laptop, and made himself comfortable on the couch again, but with a safe distance to scourge and making as little noise as possible.<br /><br />The book&#039;s pdf file was there just as Zally promised and he started reading.<br /><br />-Helping Someone with PTSD ; How to help a loved one while taking care of yourself-<br /><br />The first thing that caught his eye were the &#039;communication pitfalls to avoid&#039; and he felt himself shrinking into the couch.<br /><br />&#039;Don&#039;t give ultimatums or make threats or demands&#039;<br /><br />Well he&#039;d fucked that one up gloriously twice already. He scrolled down the pages quickly.<br /><br />&#039;How to rebuild trust and safety&#039;<br /><br />- Express your commitment to the relationship. (Yeah that one was a bit hard, considering they... had no relationship to speak of)<br /><br />- Create routines (aka. regular times for meals, shared chores at the same times, regular downtimes... if he could get Scourge to do chores that was possible for sure. Would it help though?)<br /><br />- Minimize stress at home, make sure your loved one has space and time for rest and relaxation (...loved one. This book wasn&#039;t going to help was it? Still he could give Scourge his down times. Technically he had them while he was at work, anyway. Did that count?)<br /><br />- Speak of the future and make plans (oh lord... )<br /><br />- Keep your promises (especially those regarding sexual stuff. He could absolutely not ever do anything without Scourge&#039;s consent again. In fact he was gonna wait for Scourge to initiate things. Just to be safe.)<br /><br />- Let your loved one take the lead, rather than telling them what to do. (That one was... nice in theory but... not necessarily possible. If he let Scourge make decisions he&#039;d already be at large again.)<br /><br />His cheeks were slightly red while reading because the book kept referring to his &#039;loved one&#039; while he was trying to learn how to deal with scourge in the future. There were some helpful tips to ground someone during a panic attack and lots of other helpful facts that he had no idea about. He&#039;d have to re-read the small book a few times to internalize it all. Either way he was determined to keep Scourge around, so he had to be able to take care of him properly. Even if he wasn&#039;t a &#039;loved one&#039;, Zonic was more or less confident he could still learn to make the criminal feel safe and... at least somewhat at home. This -was- his home now. And Zonic his only social contact.<br /><br />He read until his eyes hurt and leaned his head back. Scourge felt like a fulltime job after his usual full time job. But at the same time he didn&#039;t regret it. Scourge&#039;s flashback had startled him. But he was gonna be better at dealing with it if it happened again. For now all he could do was damage control. He&#039;d done a lot of damage. No wonder Scourge hated him so much. He&#039;d done everything wrong. Touched him suddenly. Threatened him. Pressured him. No more. He was gonna try to be better. Hopefully.</span><br /><span style=\"color: #4e9a06;\"><br />Though Zonic was attempting to be silent in his movements, Scourge could still hear and make out his movement patterns, slightly. With his heightened senses bulked up on sudden paranoia and his fight-or-flight responses at the ready, he couldn&rsquo;t help but pay too much attention to what was going on around him. The steps grew fainter&hellip; the blacony door opened, closed, few minutes later it opened again. The other moved closer, suddenly some other part of the couch decompressed from the weight of Zonic sitting down, silence again. He could barely breathe under the blanket from holding it in, but after there was little to no activity for a couple of minutes, he began to relax. He didn&rsquo;t know how hard he was clenching his jaw, or how tense his shoulders were, the fact he was sweating under his arms or his forehead was soaked.<br /><br />This feeling of &lsquo;fear&rsquo; was so&hellip; unheard of. He hated that it was somewhat familiar now. Since when was a Sonic this fearful of another person&rsquo;s presence, to the degree of hiding away?? He wanted to get up, maybe even sit in that stupid cage Zonic bragged so much about just to be enclosed in a space of his own. With the sound of his own heartbeat in his ears, his stomach churning in all kinds of places, Scourge tried to practice slow, inaudible breaths. He felt like coughing from how imbalanced his approach was. He wanted to be unseen, unheard, just disappear from this place. It was like this all the way till he fell asleep. <br /><br />He dreamt, another reminder maybe, but he didn&rsquo;t wake up feeling better. <br /><br /><em>&lsquo;I guess I kinda see why everyone&rsquo;s so crazy about you.&rsquo; That voice was annoying to listen to, possibly worse than Smalls at the very moment. Scourge felt so tired, his whole body was heavy and moving felt almost impossible. His vision was so blurry, everything was wavy shapes, the man above him just black and white smeared together, but he could still make out who it was, that smarmy tone in his voice&hellip; &lsquo;Don&rsquo;t worry though, I&rsquo;m not like the others. I have some class to my approach at least.&rsquo; It sounded like a joke almost, a really shitty one. He was flipped over, hips raised but kept up due to Scourge being unable to move his body like normal. He felt himself groan, one eye opened as he tried to turn his head to watch what the other was doing. He was&hellip; powerless again. &lsquo;Promise I won&rsquo;t be so brutal&hellip; I mean we did have a deal. You were under King Maxx&rsquo;s protection&hellip; therefore you kinda belong to him. I just get rather&hellip; nice benefits to his &lsquo;assets&rsquo;, you see. You don&rsquo;t mind right?&rsquo; Jeffrey&rsquo;s hand wasn&rsquo;t too cold, it was actually rather warm. The way it caressed his lower back, careful and cautious. &lsquo;I at least gave you something for this&hellip; You might not remember when you wake up.&rsquo; </em><br /><br />Scourge kicked his legs, throwing the blanket off of him and instantly sat up. He was sweating everywhere, felt hot all over and his heart was still racing. He hadn&rsquo;t had this many bad memories/flashbacks come at him so much. Nothing really triggered it, but he felt as though they could be over now&hellip; He was awake, he was aware of his actual surroundings. Taking a moment to breathe was a lot harder than it looked. He moved his feet off the bed, noticing the chain that was usually there was now gone. He vaguely remembered the cop taking it off&hellip; must&rsquo;ve felt bad again. Dumbass was too soft, but Scourge wasn&rsquo;t going to complain. He still felt sick, like everything inside his stomach was screaming to come out. He didn&rsquo;t want to vomit, it hurt to bad sometimes and he wasn&rsquo;t interested in seeing that amazing stew turned chummy from it being halfway digested. He limped over to the balcony, finally he could sit outside, the chain never allowed him to. He opened the door, closing it right after and leaned over the wooden gate. He sighed to himself, it was nighttime now&hellip; <br /><br />This place was crazy looking no matter how long he&rsquo;d been here. It was&hellip; weird, but he started to get used to being on the walls rather than the fuckin floor. He watched cars go up the vertical highways, homes that sat sideways from him with lights on and people inside having dinners or watching tv. There were some watering their gardens thanks to the sun finally going down, some walking their pets and others just having a nice night outside. A party was happening a few houses down, he wondered if it was just bratty college kids or something middle aged loser&rsquo;s birthday. He wouldn&rsquo;t mind going over there, possibly getting as drunk as possible to numb it all. He missed alcohol so much, missed the feeling of certain drugs that made life a little more interesting. He laid his cheek on his arm, watching the party lights flash and the group of people partying outside dance. He bet there were a lot of horny girls down there, haha. <br /><br />Nah, he wasn&rsquo;t really interested in sex right now. It grossed him out so much, it felt like some sort of prude was possessing him right now. He shook his head, disappointed in himself. He felt like such a different person coming out of prison. Scarred from injuries none like the physical bruising and broken bones he was so used to. Those didn&rsquo;t even compare. Nothing like those had anything on what he felt right now. Scourge wasn&rsquo;t a stranger to breaking someone&rsquo;s spirit down to control and manipulate, hell, he&rsquo;d down it before. He was king at some point, by force. He was able to use his strength and intimidating personality to make people kneel, it was such a wonderful time. What fun it&rsquo;d be like to take over the Zone Jail and use that same tactic on the ones who hurt him. <br /><br />Scourge sat down on the lounge seat, looking down at his feet. He missed running. He missed being able to go where ever he wanted. His leg was still so useless, running was still impossible. It sucked, all of this sucked. Sure, he could move freely now, he was able to do his own thing and he was in a safer place&hellip; but it wasn&rsquo;t enough. He needed more, to be like before his imprisonment. That was too much to ask for. His heart ached, ached in ways he couldn&rsquo;t describe. He wasn&rsquo;t going to cry, no fuck doing all that. That was sheer weakness. He gulped down that choking feeling building up, looked up over the edge of the balcony gate, standing up again and looked down. He could&hellip; maybe try leaving&hellip; it probably wouldn&rsquo;t help to ask the cop for one night of being out of the house. <br /><br />He -needed- to be out. It was a mandatory demand in his mind. Turning back to the sliding door, he opened it up, looking for the cop. He must&rsquo;ve passed him without even noticing. <br /><br />&ldquo;Hey&hellip; I know I haven&rsquo;t been the most&hellip; agreeable but, I wanna go outside.&rdquo; He kept it sweet and short. &ldquo;If I ask -anything- from you, it&rsquo;s just to go outside. You can keep watch or whatever, I don&rsquo;t care I just. I need to be outside, I can&rsquo;t sit in here.&rdquo; He frowned, not making eye contact. &ldquo;You got uh, anything I can cover my face with?&rdquo; He was determined&hellip; even if Zonic refused, he&rsquo;d sneak out when the cop fell asleep. He had to be outside. </span><br /><br /><span style=\"color: #204a87;\">Zonic almost fell off the couch he was so startled when Scourge woke up. He&#039;d been dozing off over his PTSD book. He wanted to read all of it. Internalize it. But his body was still so exhausted. So of course his heart nearly jumped out of his chest when Scourge shot up like that. He watched him walk out on the balcony and cast a worried look after his roommate, closing the laptop.<br /><br />He spent minutes fighting with himself over if he wanted to go outside, or not. In the end he didn&#039;t. The book said to give the person their free space. He tried to read a little more but he couldn&#039;t concentrate. So he ended up changing the sheets on Scourge&#039;s makeshift bed. The covers were soaked. He&#039;d obviously had nightmares. That wasn&#039;t a surprise. He was just in the process of folding the blanket back onto the couch when Scourge entered the room again.<br /><br />And to his massive surprise he talked to him. Calmly. The request made his brain work. He wanted nothing more than to grant it. Finally Scourge was asking something of him in a civil polite way, how could he say no? It wasn&#039;t a stupid escape attempt either. Still it wasn&#039;t an easy request to fill.<br /><br />&quot;Well where... do you want to go? If we don&#039;t meet my coworkers nobody in the neighbourhood knows who you are. You weren&#039;t in the news here. We keep multiverse cases under lock at the station. So you don&#039;t... really have to hide. You can be my cousin...visiting.&quot; He scratched the back of his head. &quot;You can&#039;t go... &#039;naked&#039; though.&quot; His attempt to casuallly stroll into the bedroom ended with a small groan and him nearly falling over his feet. Right. Walking was still hard.<br /><br />The perfect day to take a walk. At least they&#039;d both be limping. Zonic fetched a tanktop and Scourge&#039;s leather jacket together with some pants and Scourge&#039;s own shoes. Just moving a little slower this time. &quot;Here. If you wear these, promise not to leave my side and not to pick a fight with my neighbours... we can go out. You can go wherever you want. But I&#039;m coming along. And I spot a coworker of mine we have to hide. You can have one of those cheap masks that people wear when they catch a cold if it makes you feel better. I think I have some of those laying around somewhere.&quot;<br /><br />In his mind he added a plea for this to not turn into a disaster. If it went well they could do it again. Hell if Scourge behaved they could even race someday. Though the inhibitor collar would have to come off and... he was very hesitant about that. Still this was a little exciting. Maybe it&#039;d make Scourge feel a little better, and him a little less guilty, too.</span><br /><span style=\"color: #4e9a06;\"><br />He wasn&rsquo;t even surprised that the cop said yes. There had been so much guilt in the other&rsquo;s eyes, it was kinda sad to watch. Sonics like that so bound to the idea of kindness and justice, being hospitable to others and just having a general good nature to them. He knew this was how they operated, something he couldn&rsquo;t understand. He could easily leave if he wanted to, make up some elaborate plan to escape and get the collar off. Sonic in general was too trusting. He was a little glad he didn&rsquo;t have such a weak attribute like that, but it was helping him in its own way, so he couldn&rsquo;t complain. Being given clothes was fine, he didn&rsquo;t mind them, though pants were debatable. He simply put them on, feeling a wave of comfort hit him once his signature jacket was on. <br /><br />&ldquo;You sure no one will recognize the jacket?&rdquo; He asked, patting down the sleeves. He sat down, putting on his socks and shoes, feeling his cheeks and face. He knew his teeth were a little on the strange side. Hedgehogs didn&rsquo;t have such sharp teeth like his, maybe canines but now all of their teeth were like this. He frowned, nodding at the mention of a cold mask to cover up his face a little. He didn&rsquo;t mind this though, maybe just covering up would help&hellip; he kind of felt a little too aware of his own body anyways. Scourge was tempted to make a comment on this&hellip; whole thing, but figured he wasn&rsquo;t in the mode for arguing. He didn&rsquo;t need snarky comebacks from Zonic, though he was sure the cop wouldn&rsquo;t say much thanks to how guilty he must&rsquo;ve been feeling. <br /><br />It wasn&rsquo;t that he blamed the guy for the sudden PTSD attack, it wasn&rsquo;t like Scourge was talkative about his trauma&hellip; It didn&rsquo;t really register as a trigger of any sort. What did Zonic even have to feel so bad about when this one time, he didn&rsquo;t do much of anything? Oh well, he wasn&rsquo;t about to comfort the other for feeling that way. His own fault for bringing a broken criminal to his house so now he&rsquo;d just have to deal with it. When Scourge was ready, mask on and clothes comfortably settled, he went to the door, waiting for Zonic to open it. <br /><br />The night sky was so odd around here, the whole place just flipped on its side, but he felt at peace. He missed home, missed the way things looked and how that dimension made sense. Still, the massive shape of this place had a charm to it. He felt a little confused sometimes where to look or how to navigate but by this time, he was -mostly- used to it all. Actually leaving the house, seeing the outside cell&hellip; that could&rsquo;ve been where he&rsquo;d be. He didn&rsquo;t mind it too much, it&rsquo;d have been a slightly easier way to transition from shitty prison cell to bland yet comfortable house. <br /><br />Walking towards the end of the walkway of Zonic&rsquo;s house and coming to the sidewalk, he was caught up in which way to go. He wanted to see that party, but he also wanted to lay low. His mind was swimming in feelings he didn&rsquo;t want to expose, so walking the opposite direction made the most sense. The neighborhood was quiet, save for the bumpin&rsquo; bass from the house party nearly a block away. He wasn&rsquo;t sure where he was going, and his limp wasn&rsquo;t particularly helping his adventurous spirit prosper. He knew he&rsquo;d need a break at some point&hellip; <br /><br />&ldquo;You guys got a park around here? I&rsquo;m sure a nice lil&rsquo; neighborhood like this has some sort of school somewhere nearby with a ma and pop store&hellip; looks like those typical rich homes with every lil thing they need.&rdquo; He scoffed, it was a nice place but damn was he a little envious. Something about it was actually nice. Being in a quiet neighborhood felt like an ideal place&hellip; maybe having a thrown wasn&rsquo;t so great&hellip; at least for now. &ldquo;Might need to sit down for a bit&hellip; Maybe get some liquor or snacks&hellip; I&rsquo;m dyin to spoil myself with feel good shit&hellip; since I feel like utter garbage.&rdquo; He was really quiet. Very different from the loud, boisterous personality he presented. </span><br /><div class='align_center'><strong><br />TBC...</strong></div></span>","pools_count":1,"title":"Zonourge RP - CH.11","deleted":"f","public":"t","mimetype":"application/msword","pagecount":"1","rating_id":"2","rating_name":"Adult","ratings":[{"content_tag_id":"4","name":"Sexual Themes","description":"Erotic imagery, sexual activity or arousal","rating_id":"2"},{"content_tag_id":"5","name":"Strong Violence","description":"Strong violence, blood, serious injury or death","rating_id":"2"}],"submission_type_id":"12","type_name":"Writing - Document","guest_block":"t","friends_only":"f","comments_count":"17","views":"141","sales_description":null,"forsale":"f","digitalsales":"f","printsales":"f","digital_price":""}