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Sorry it's a bit delayed. I was going to get it out last week instead, but new kittens in my life are seriously throwing off my schedule.\n\nA shorter chapter this time, but contains a lot of feels!\n\nPotentially Triggering Tags:\nNone\n\nChapter Summaries:\nhttps://docs.google.com/document/d/1VHNSczlxfkUvf34NKZNscT1a3Rr-222jdhGpdfV82Fw/edit?usp=sharing\n\nCurious about my custom species? Here's a link!\nhttps://docs.google.com/document/d/1k0PobVi3hgyzg8zrro6rnqLLpm_cybJd-3LP-kvp1KI/edit?usp=sharing\n\nFeel like giving me a little financial assistance? I’ve set up a SubscribeStar account! I'm extremely thankful for everyone who donates anything they can, be it a subscription or one-off donation.\nhttps://subscribestar.adult/kiroberos-entertainment", "description_bbcode_parsed": "Here's the next chapter of Exes.  Sorry it's a bit delayed.  I was going to get it out last week instead, but new kittens in my life are seriously throwing off my schedule.

A shorter chapter this time, but contains a lot of feels!

Potentially Triggering Tags:
None

Chapter Summaries:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1VHNSczlxfkUvf34NKZN...

Curious about my custom species? Here's a link!
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1k0PobVi3hgyzg8zrro6...

Feel like giving me a little financial assistance?  I’ve set up a SubscribeStar account!  I'm extremely thankful for everyone who donates anything they can, be it a subscription or one-off donation.
https://subscribestar.adult/kiroberos-entertainment", "writing": "[i]Right[/i]... The Garkin would have to wait longer than anticipated. I completely forgot what was coming on firstday. I was gently aware of the world rolling under me, light vibrations of the wheels of the bed on the tile. Exa was in charge though, and dozing lightly herself, so I'd assumed we'd just gotten out of the procedure. Something light today at least, with just the swapping of my other eye. A bit... problematic, given it turned out that nerves were really hard to regenerate.\n\nEven with my accelerated regeneration, my first eye hadn't fully gotten its focus back. Things were a blurry mess in it, although I could tell basic shapes, colors, and lights. I felt... more than a little vulnerable as it stood, but with my new internal scanning capacity, at least I wasn't nearly as blind as I could have been. I just wished the eye's color would return. It was still bloodshot and far paler than it was supposed to be. They said that was normal, though.\n\nI sat at the desk in my mind instead, pouring over notes and my Figments. The research on the collars and source of the Nexus had all but dead-ended. They referenced a Figment Red series, which was a bit disconcerting, but I couldn't check the library even to see if I [i]had[/i] those ones. Though, I was pretty sure I did. Still, the entity was making blazingly fast work on healing my soul now. The giant gashes had been sealed together in quite a few spots, turning rapidly into sinkholes instead of literally canyons. I was feeling... more complete in memories now. Even remembered the full incident leading up to my getting infected to begin with. That had definitely been engineered by the Cult. Then, after that, they had tried to capture me. Had they been timing it to something? I distinctly recalled that it took a while before the Nexus developed fully inside of my soul like it had. If they were... cultivating it in me for some reason, waiting would make sense. Though they didn't wait very long! Fuck!\n\nBut that didn't tell me what they wanted with me. I was hoping my new friend would give me more answers, but I wasn't holding my breath. I'd had four more counters prepared and waiting for halting and capturing a Cultist, and she'd only taken one of them. Really poor showing. I don't think she was very high up the ladder at all. Sad, really. She'd been regenerating nicely though, with the twins watching over her just in case. Just... watching over her. I didn't exactly want them to get [i]excited[/i] quite yet and subject her to humping.\n\nAt least I could talk to her like this. Though once the second round of detoxing had started, I kind of doubted I'd be up for much else. At least for a few days. But at least I had time to research. I'd come up with a new potential path for the infection, anyway. Chronak had been right. Sometimes giving a problem a bit of a rest did come up with new ideas. I might have... been approaching this from the wrong direction.\n\nBrute force blocking it was almost impossible, given how pervasive and infectious the wavelength was to someone's soul. It only took a drop... Trying to suppress it and prevent it from spreading had proven entirely ineffective, as it had overwhelmed all attempts, and what little did get through was enough to entirely saturate the chunks of meat I'd been using to sample the situation. The twins were delighted with these experiments, of course. The meat was perfectly fine for [i]them[/i]. Fried up nicely and they loved it. Heh.\n\nThen I realized... what if I worked from the other direction? The wavelength that was spreading was either directly a byproduct of the Nexus itself, or the corruption that decays from the original byproduct. Whichever came first. Depending on which it was, I had some ideas on how it could be stopped. If it had been a byproduct of the corruption, it would be easy to fix. Just tightening up the refresh rate to an extreme level should absolutely nullify any corrupted wavelength energy before it even exited the body. It would be a little tiring, but we only had to keep it up for the duration of the release of the fluids. Once they were out of our bodies at that point, it would be entirely safe.\n\nIf the spreading was a byproduct of the Nexus itself... well for one, that was [i]terrifying[/i]. That meant that this... power that the infection had given me wasn't just for linking people together. It was for [i]forcing[/i] them to be linked together. That meant the original probably was, or is, too. But if so, there had to be a way to get a better... grasp on the power itself. If it really was entirely mine to control and possess, there should be a way to simply... turn off the infecting property. While the implications of this path were terrifying, this was actually the far easier solution to be had. Honestly, I'd rather be [i]not[/i] infectious for a majority of the time, than the opposite. But I'd need to run a couple more tests before I could figure out which type it was.\n\nI set the notes down, feeling as if I'd at least gotten preparation done on the topic. I'd also researched all the information I could find on the essence patching, and was pretty certain I had a firm grasp on that too. For once, I felt ahead of the game. I'd even spent time working on a plethora of countermeasures for all of the things that had utterly fucked me in the past. I was going to do my very best not to be caught off guard, ever again. Well, almost never. That... `Standby' command the cultist had used on Kada and I still illuded me.\n\nPart of me was... absolutely terrified though. I... At some point, I had to step back and just look at myself again. My soul was healing. My body was ragged but getting pieced back together slowly. But... it felt like my heart and mind were [i]warped[/i] still. I felt... disgusting, and it was perverting everything I even thought about. I'd... I hadn't even checked the guards for injured. I... didn't even [i]care[/i]. There might have been injuries or [i]deaths[/i] I could have prevented and I'd just... walked away.\n\nMy thumb's claw scraped at the wood of the desk, and I sighed. There was... nothing. I still didn't care. The more I tried to think about the guards, the more all I could remember was being hurt over and over again. Raped and used. By force. And all of my sympathy and pity for them just... [i]died[/i]. I didn't really want to go out of my way to hurt or kill anyone in Nulidia, but... The entire city disgusted me. It made me not want to go out of my way to [i]save[/i] anyone here, either. But at the same time, this didn't feel like... me. I wasn't the same Exes that had gotten kidnapped. Part of me had died already, and was just... I don't think it was ever coming back now. Not now. Not after...\n\nI took a few deep breaths, trying to steady the tremors running through my paws. Fuck... I closed my eyes and forced the thoughts out of my head again. This is what I got for thinking about all of this too hard. With luck, the therapist would have his equipment in. But I doubted it would help get past the Nullstone still in my head. I wished he'd just try the traditional therapy instead.\n\nExa was waking up now, and my ears flicked backwards as I felt her presence again. Her eye opened, and she was momentarily concerned until I shared my scan of the room with her. We were in one of the recovery rooms in the clinic now, and all the objects and room walls were outlined for her, relaxing her a bit. ``Mmm, thanks, Exes.'' She sent her voice back into us, and I nodded outwards to her. We'd gotten quite used to talking back and forth, now.\n\nNot that she had to wait too long at all for the nurse to come in. ``Ah, you're awake now! Good. The procedure went perfectly. Same as last time basically. You'll need to leave it bandaged for five to six days, depending on how the surface is regenerated. I know you can check it yourself of course. Your other eye is healing wonderfully, and should be back to almost perfect vision again within a day or so. We gave you another round of targeted regeneratives for it.'' I wish I had the supplies to make targeted regeneratives myself. But no, I had to conserve first to see how much the Garkin was going to need.\n\n``Mmm, thanks, nurse. Did you check over everything else?'' Exa was handling it marvelously, so I just relaxed in the chair, leaning back now and stretching.\n\n``We gave you a full examination while you were out. Your chest is fully healed without complications. We looked over the stitching for your scrotum, but it's healed fully, so we removed them. It'll still probably be tender for a few days or so while the tissue strengthens and reinforces itself fully. Then the primary soreness will be as they grow larger adjusting to your male hormone balance. We applied another set of regeneratives there, too.'' Oh boy. I was going to get bigger, fast. That was one part of me where my regeneration was actually helping. Not that I minded bigger. I just hope they didn't overdo it and I end up with an Exir issue.\n\nExa nodded to that. ``Anything else I should worry about then?''\n\n``Well take any sexual activity with care, obviously. Make sure to keep everything washed, and try not to touch the eye too much. Other than-`` She was interrupted by a little beep from her waist, and I saw her fetch a loose comm unit from her pocket and look at it briefly. Hmm?\n\nShe froze then, arm giving a little jerk. ``...oh! Uh, I'm sorry! I need to go!''\n\n``Uh, w-what?'' Exa frowned, but the nurse had already stepped back, opened the door, and all but fled. Uh... fuck. Exa flailed, then promptly tagged me in as we swapped places, and I started tossing down wards over the room, sliding out of bed with that and shoving it out of the way. If someone was coming for us, they would seriously regret it.\n\nI scanned the room, waiting in the far back corner instead. Drawers slid quietly open, with my attention dancing over the various implements inside. At least six scalpels that were usable. A dozen syringes of various sizes. The IV stand in the corner was passable for bludgeoning. I prepared everything and anything, then just watched the door, ears raised. My eye was useless, so I relied purely on True Alchemy to see with.\n\nPawsteps outside. My scan slid through the wall, and I saw a person slowly walking towards the door now. They weren't making any effort to move quietly or stealthily at least, and my eye narrowed as they stopped, paw reaching out and lightly touching the doorknob. Words drifted into my mind, ready to be activated in an instant, even as the knob started to turn. More scan information flooded in as I focused on the figure. Whomever it was, they were medium sized, though light in weight. Lots of metal on them. Could be weaponry.\n\nThe knob turned fully, and surprisingly loudly. ``Hey, I'm coming in...'' she announced, also loudly, before the door opened fully. My eye widened. That voice! It had been... a long time since I'd heard that voice. My paw spasmed, and suddenly I wanted to hide instead, and not have her look at me.\n\nShe stepped into the room, closing the door and turning to face me fully, freezing and widening her eyes as she did. My full True Alchemy scan went over her at the same time, but it was only confirmation of identity at this point. Kyry. The Jakatar female was in full leather armor, and was indeed very, very armed. She was... It was actually... Her name danced over her head as she searched my expression, then gave a tense swallow. ``I'm... sorry to barge in like this but... Uh...''\n\nI gave a shaky exhale and sagged. She suspected, but... she didn't recognize me. I mean, how could she really? Scrawny, chalk-white and silver fur, naked and looking mauled to hell and back with one bandaged eye and one dead-looking one. I steadied myself with a few more breaths before quietly answering finally.\n\n``Kyry...''\n\nShe gave a jerk at her own name, eyes widening again before her paws clenched hard. ``Oh Gods, Exes... It really [i]is[/i] you! Fuck! I finally found you!'' She had... How had...?\n\nShe moved forward with that and ducked down, falling to a kneeling position before pulling me into a soft hug. ``I'm sorry. I'm so sorry it took so long to find you. Fuck!''\n\nI gave a shiver, mind unable to process this turn at all. This is... the last person I thought I'd see walk through that door. I gave a shudder instead, paranoia spiking suddenly. No... Not again! A pulse as my wards activated, and Kyry gasped as she was suddenly slid halfway across the room from me instead. My eye blazed blue and Keyhole unsealed on my chest as I switched to a glare instead, locking her down tight with stasis. ``E-Exes?!''\n\n``You... You're... Are you really Kyry?'' Multiple scans went over her as my wards went up, warping and distorting the air around me as I threw every detection I could at her.\n\nShe froze at that, eyes widening a little more before she relaxed and just let me sweep over her. ``I... I don't blame you at all for being paranoid. After we failed to stop-``\n\nIt just cracked, and I snarled at that. ``No! You... Fuck! You have [i]no idea[/i] what I've been through! It's been almost a fucking [i]year[/i]!'' She looked down and away at that, and I panted there, trying to catch my breath. Fuck, the anesthetics were still fucking with me.\n\n``Tell me.'' I paused, frowning at that. What? ``Tell me then, Exes. Please... We already know we failed you. We can't take that back. Please... just talk to me. I'm really Kyry. I'm... here with Lilita and Annah again.'' Again?\n\nMy eyes narrowed again. ``How... why? Why now? Again?''\n\nShe gave a nod, still just watching me and not fighting my effect in the slightest. ``Yes. It's my fourth time investigating into a potential lead for you in the city. This time because of what the mind mage ordered from the Academy. Something to try to get around a mental block.'' Oh... They knew that I had the Nullstone.\n\n``The Nullstone...'' She nodded to that. Every scan was saying she was really Kyry. That this was... really happening and real. Exa was quiet, shocked and just watching now.\n\nI let her go. She sunk slightly to the floor before feeling her arms, and standing again. I brushed my paw over my own arm before looking to the right at the personal locker in the room. Tch. I felt... I was disgusting, and suddenly I didn't want her looking at me at all. My scans had already picked up my clothes inside, and several distortions later, they gently appeared on me in one fluid ripple, as fast as I possibly could make them. My fur was... crawling under her gaze.\n\n``I... You really are Kyry. I'm... sorry. I didn't mean to get... I don't have a lot of trust these days...'' My eye slid back up to looking at her, and she slowly nodded.\n\n``No, I... understand fully. I shouldn't have tried to hug you so abruptly. It... sorry. I just... It's a relief to have found you finally. You've... become a lot more powerful...'' My ears lowered at that, and I exhaled. From necessity, maybe. But she knew that already.\n\n``The urge to... protect myself is strong now. But... I don't even know what to say. I... can't see very well out of the eye. It... What... What happens now?'' My mind was getting ahead of itself, gears spinning furiously.\n\nKyry relaxed but nodded to me. ``Where are you staying? I didn't actually look into anything before... coming to see if it was actually [i]you[/i] this time.''\n\nMy right paw waved out, sealing the room with a silence ward before nodding to her. ``With Voxet. He's the owner of the Black Keld Gambling Hall and Inn, on the lowest level. I'm... not alone there. I have a group of sorts.''\n\nHer ears slowly lifted at that. ``Voxet? Ah! Yeah, I know him. It's been years since we've spoke though. And a group?'' She knew Vox? It didn't really surprise me, but he hadn't said anything about her, even when I mentioned her name directly. If she was even using her real name...\n\nI nodded. ``Two Vulkus twins. Kar and Kan. And uh... Remi. You probably know her though...'' I'd mention Exa... later.\n\nKyry gave a jerk at that, eyes widening again for a long moment, before her arm twitched lightly. ``Fucking... She's [i]alive[/i]?! Damn it!'' She gave a low growl at that, and I coughed lightly.\n\n``She said you'd say that. She's expressed interest in coming with me when I left Nulidia. The twins will be too. I also... have a Cultist that I captured, and a slave that came from the busted Garkin experimentation facility that's in bad need of medical aid. We also have an entire vault full of Demon Artifacts we stole...''\n\nShe stared in surprise at me for a long moment before slowly nodding. ``Uh... wow. Okay! I wasn't expecting, uh...''\n\nI gave a little shrug at that. ``I've kept myself busy. I figured it was more productive to... try to get myself out of Nulida rather than wait for someone to find me...'' She winced at that again, but it was just the truth. They... [i]had[/i] failed me. Blatantly. I paused after, then looked back to her then. ``Oh... also, don't go after Vox. He's helped me a lot. No matter what he did in the past...''\n\nThat she gave a softer smile to, then shook her head. ``He's helped us with several investigations too. No, as far as Keldonia and Koramir are concerned, he's whitelisted. Don't worry about that, Exes. Him and Mirya will be fine.'' I sighed at that, then nodded.\n\n``As for what's next... I can't extract you like this. Not by myself when the Cult's still looking for you. Keep laying low, and I'm going to go report that I've found you. I imagine the ball will get rolling fast after that...'' That... I'd imagine, yeah. She reached into her pocket and pulled out another comm unit before passing it to me. ``Not your old comm, but it's got all your contacts on it and the Realmsguard links. I'll be contacting you as soon as possible once things get going. They'll undoubtedly want to evacuate everyone, including the two Vulkus, Remi, the slave, and the Cultist, so be ready...''\n\nI nodded at that. ``Right. I should probably let Voxet and Mirya know...''\n\nSurprisingly, Kyry shook her head. ``No, don't tell anyone other than Remi. I'll talk to Voxet and Mirya myself when the time comes. Until then, I don't want any interference or problems stirred up.'' True. I gave her a nod at that.\n\n``Alright. Only Remi, then.'' Kyry relaxed, then nodded.\n\n``Good. After I report, I'm tailing you as well. I... don't want to lose you again, no matter what, okay?'' I exhaled quietly, then nodded again. Had her pride been injured or something by the failure? I bit back that, though.\n\n``Alright then. I'll go report. Expect to hear from us soon...'' Another nod, and she flickered away again, this time in a warped distortion of darkness that looked really, really fucked up with my blurry eye. Well, fuck. That had happened.\n\nMy eye slid down to the comm unit in my paw. It was a newer one than what I'd had before. Though I'd been wearing my comm when they kidnapped me, so who the fuck knows where [i]that[/i] ended up. Glad they cut its connections. I slid the comm on, tucking it into my tunic sleeve before straightening my clothes and just heading out of the room. Well, no sense in keeping Voxet waiting I suppose. I had... a lot to think about.\n\n[center]~ ~ ~ ~ ~[/center]\n\nExa had had a bajillion questions, of course. Thankfully I was able to answer most of them simply by feeding her the relevant memories from before getting kidnapped. Voxet had been waiting in the lounge for me, and seemed entirely at ease, just giving a warm smile as I came out. However Kyry had entered the building, it must not have been through the front door. Had she only stopped sneaking on approach to my room? He reported after that, for some totally mysterious and unknown reason, the psych appointment had been canceled today. Yeah, I'm sure after the mind mage was contacted by the authorities and potentially a Bloodstalker or two, he decided he wanted zero to do with me.\n\nI distinctly realized I was brooding. Kyry showing up had forced all sorts of uncomfortable thoughts into my head. That ugly sensation of being abandoned, and them failing to protect me like they were supposed to. Of them not even managing to find me for almost a [i]year[/i]. I'd practically gotten [i]myself[/i] out of Nulidia by the time they'd fucking found me, finally. It was... I was bitter. Immensely bitter. Maybe it was irrational. I didn't know, [i]really[/i], how hard it was to track a slave in Nulidia. I had... the estimates people told me. But there was a disconnect. It was just numbers. And that disconnect caused me to risk trivializing it. Which in turn made me question how important I really was to everyone.\n\nI tempered it as best I could. I knew... that I was kind of fucked in the head. A storm of emotions crashed through me. I let Exa take over for me as we headed back towards the Black Keld. She was concerned, but not nearly as upset as I was, which would help keep Vox relaxed and unconcerned at the very least. They eventually relaxed and even picked up a light conversation about supper for tonight, finally settling on pizza.\n\nIt... sounded good, but I couldn't bring myself to fully appreciate it. Dutifully, we went to lay down after getting back, and found Remi waiting for us in the medical ward. ``Ah, yer back early. Um, Ah'm sorry Ah didn't... go with. Ah know ya were goin' ta see tha therapist...''\n\nWe tagged out, and I swapped to the front, blinking once, then shivering as I sagged against the bed. ``Eh? Ya okay? Er... Exes or Exa?''\n\nI chuckled at that. ``Exes this time... We need to talk, Remi. Fast...''\n\nHer ears perked up at that, but she rapidly nodded. She gave a start as I put up the silence ward, though. ``Uh oh... Somethin' happen?'' She gave me a nervous look, and I nodded, sliding my sleeve up and revealing the brand new comm unit. Her eyes widened at that. ``Where did ya get... wait...''\n\n``Kyry found me...'' I watched her give a start at that, then wince lightly. I just waited, watching her eyes dance for a moment, the gears undoubtedly going into overdrive inside her.\n\n``She... Fuck... No, that's... It's ah good thing. This is... really happenin'. Ah'm... still gonna stay with ya, Exes. Ah just...'' Her eyes locked with mine again, that crazed look dancing through them once more. Uh...\n\nShe swallowed tensely, flushing lightly before nodding to herself. I almost didn't want to know, but assumed I was about to find out. ``Exes... Ah... H-Have sex with me.'' I blinked once. That... was definitely not what I was expecting. In the slightest.\n\n``I... w-what? Remi...''\n\nShe shifted closer. Right up against me, even. ``P-Please, Exes! Quick... Just... Just do it! If... If ya do that... Ah'll get infected like tha twins. They... They can't take me away from ya, then!'' Oh... Suddenly her intent all snapped into place, and I exhaled softly.\n\n``Remi, calm down. I don't think they're going to-`` She kissed me instead, cutting me off into a muffled, startled yelp. It was frantic and desperate this time, as she pushed me back gently yet shakily against the pillows behind me, starting to undo the buttons on my tunic.\n\nMy paws grabbed her wrists, trying to stop her but she twisted, slipping free easily and pressing me backwards, sliding on top of me. Tch, fuck! A little burst of panic shot through me, and I couldn't stop myself. I froze her with Stasis, mid-kiss! Pushing her off me, I scrambled hastily to the side before falling off the bed going backwards. I winced, landing on my upper back and rolling with a dull thud, and feeling spikes of pain signals radiating out through my neck and shoulders... Fuck!\n\nI lay there for a long moment, wincing as my left arm felt out, then braced me up against the nightstand. Well, that probably wasn't the greatest for my recovery. My heart hammered in my chest, and I panted for a second, trying to get my emotions under control again. Tch... I released the Stasis field, and Remi sat up instantly on the bed, bringing her paws up to her muzzle as her eyes started to get watery.\n\n``Oh Gods... Oh fuck... Ah'm s-sorry, Exes! Ah just... Ah can't... Ah [i]can't[/i] be separated from ya! Ah...'' My ears lowered as I stared at her, and she fell silent, clenching her paws together over her muzzle. This wasn't... I reached over and touched my shoulder, where the most pain was pinging from, and drew my paw back with the pad red. Tch... of course. Remi gave a squeak, then quickly dove off the bed, bouncing over to the medical supply cabinet as I rested there and sighed. This was so fucked up.\n\nI... knew why she wanted it suddenly. I knew her own irrational line of thinking. But the way she pushed me down... I saw the twins grin before they pounced me... The same twins that I was now sort of friends with, sort of a weird, fucked up father figure for. Everything was so fucked up. I held pressure to my shoulder, feeling the heat and hearing the hissing, even as Remi slid around the bed with bandages and salves. I... couldn't stop the wince as she slid up, then promptly slowed herself as best she could, slinking close enough to give me the medical stuff instead.\n\n``Ah didn't... Please, Exes. Ah'm sorry... Ah got... It's...''\n\nI sighed, then shook my head. ``You don't want to be left alone or abandoned... I know, Remi.''\n\nShe sagged at that, then slowly nodded, turning and sitting down against the side of the bed as I cleaned my shoulder with antiseptics. The `burning' sensation triggered, but I was kind of glad my pain signals were still fucked up. ``Ah... get somethin' in mah head an' just... go fer it. Ah'm impulsive. Ah know that. Even this relationship was impulsive. But Ah just... felt it, as deep as Ah possibly could. That ya were... tha best thing ta possibly happen ta me. Ah don't wanna risk them... arrestin' me or...''\n\nI shivered as I held a bandage pad to my shoulder, then sighed. ``I don't think selling your soul to me is the answer, Remi. I don't... even know if it can be undone yet. It's not worth it. I'm... nowhere near as good as you think I am for you. You... You're an amazing girl, Remi. You could do [i]so much[/i] better...''\n\nShe glared my way instead, then shook her head. ``Ah disagree. Yeah, yer hurt too, just like me. But... Ah think yer amazin'. Perfect fer me... All o' ya. Exa too, o' course. Even if Ah [i]could[/i] find another male, Ah don't [i]want[/i] ta, Exes. Ah just want [i]you[/i].'' My expression softened to her, and she gave me a gentler smile before slowly easing in, then kissing me again on the muzzle. I couldn't stop the flinch, but this time...\n\nThis time it was entirely the opposite. She was relaxed again, and just gave an affectionate nuzzle right against me. It was... a lot nicer than before, and I kissed back, easing against her mouth as she teased my lips with her tongue. It was... warm. The heated flush from my cheeks seemed to drift into my chest too as I let her slide her tongue into my muzzle, slowly easing away that icky, clammy feeling from before. Like a bad dream. No, Remi didn't... She wasn't going to hurt me. She just was... hurt and desperate.\n\nShe sunk against me, trading places with my paw and holding the bandage there herself as she eased against my chest. Arms free, I slid them over her back and held her to me, kneading her muscles along her spine, and getting her to shiver. She felt... good against me. Maybe it was fucked up, but it still made me feel good. Remi felt... `right'.\n\nExa gasped inside me, giving me a nudge and stirring me from the sensation. Huh? I slid back, giving Remi a little squeeze as she shivered against me, then broke off from the kiss and gave a slow blink, trying to snap myself out of the fuzziness in my head. That was... A warm, fun feeling. What had...? Remi blinked once, looking dizzy herself as she reached her free paw down and touched her muzzle, drawing back her paw and revealing glowing blue fluid on it. W-What? Wait..\n\nI touched my muzzle quickly, then looked at my paw. It was... My saliva was glowing blue. That... Remi's eyes widened, shifting from teal to a radiant azure. Fuck! No, this wasn't...! When had...?! ``W-What...? But Ah thought...'' She shuddered, giving a groan after as her expression sagged and eyes lidded. I rushed inside myself, barely swapping past Exa as I stumbled into the inner room in the soulscape, just in time to see Remi slowly radiate out of thin air, tendrils wrapping around her as she landed, and holding her in place. No!\n\nI grabbed at them, trying to pull them free; to yank them off her or get her out of their grasp, but they only sank deeper, her fur shifting to cracked and glowing blue under their touch. Shit! This wasn't... No, this wasn't what was supposed to happen! It wasn't supposed to affect saliva! Fuck!\n\n``E-Exes...!'' Exa sounded flustered, and I shifted my attention back to her, noting her now holding a sagged, barely conscious Remi in her arms. This... damn it!\n\nWe swapped again, and I sighed, pulling Remi up against me and feeling her shiver. Now... it was really fucked up. I knew she'd just asked to have this done but... she wasn't in her right mind! This was... It wasn't supposed to be in my saliva! Fuck! It felt... like I'd betrayed her now. I fucked up and thanks to that, it got her... I should have predicted this! My paw clenched, but she slid her own into it, giving me a start. Uh...\n\nGlowing blue eyes slowly shifted to teal again as she looked up at me, looking a bit tired now. ``It... Ya didn't know, Exes. Relax... Ah'm not angry.'' My ears lowered, but she shook her head before resting against my chest instead. ``Ah'm not. Can we... rest together until Kyry contacts ya?''\n\nSlowly, I nodded to her, feeling numb now. I didn't... know what else to do, initializing Exa as well, who faded into existence next to us before promptly snuggling up to Remi too. I... I needed to get a grip on the infection, and now. I [i]couldn't[/i] stay contagious like this! Not... like this.\n\nExa pulled us both up onto the bed instead, and Remi snuggled up into my chest, shivering lightly now. I hadn't given her any orders or contingencies, but I also didn't know exactly what it felt like to get pulled into the Nexus. My paws gently massaged her, and she smiled, pushing her face up against my chest. ``This... Ah can [i]feel[/i] ya. Yer... intent an'... just yerself. It's hard ta explain...'' It was... true. Remi was the first [i]coherent[/i] outsider with a semi-stable outlook that had connected to the Nexus. I'd not talked to the Jakatar yet, so I didn't know about her. The twins... had the outlook of three-year-olds and faced the feelings with exuberance and almost infinite energy. Exa was... me. Her perspective had already started out biased. Remi though...\n\nShe shivered, giving my chest another soft nuzzle as she did. ``It... Ah can just... trust ya. Ah [i]know[/i] ya don't wanna hurt me, now. This... Gods, Ah wish Ah'd done this from tha start.'' I flushed at that. I could... feel her growing more amorous by the second as she kept tight against my chest. Idly, I wondered if there was some sort of... indoctrination or imprinting built right into the Nexus at this point.\n\nExa frowned to that and booped the top of my head. ``It's not forced, Exes. Maybe people just like you as a person, and enjoy being around you?'' My ears flattened back at that, feeling scolded now, but Remi's perked, and she looked up at me, using her arms to give me a soft squeeze around the chest.\n\n``Exes, no... Ah don't think there's anythin' [i]forcin[/i]' me ta feel this way. Ah mean...'' Her expression softened for a moment and she sighed. ``Ah've... been keepin' distant o' people fer a long time now. Everyone... Everyone's scary, Exes. Ah can't just [i]trust[/i] people again. Ah know ya feel that way too, now. But... now yer different. Very different. Ah can just... Ah [i]know[/i] Ah can trust ya.'' I... understood that. She had the desire for socialization just like everyone else did. It was just a natural need and urge. Plus the fact that I was willing to be... more intimate with her... I suspect that added a layer of appeal to being able to detect my intent and desires.\n\nShe flushed deeper, looking up at me now, and I brushed my paws over her cheeks, causing her to shiver. Sliding up higher again, she caught my muzzle in a soft kiss once more, and Exa smiled to our left, still snuggling us both. I knew those urges myself. Not everyone had the desire for... more than just basic socialization. But I already knew that I did, and I'd gone without for a long time too. The want for [i]companionship[/i] too. The very base sensation behind being mates.\n\nI nuzzled into the kiss, soft glow forming between us as her tongue teased mine into her muzzle. She alternated, I noticed, on her desire to be in charge, and to let me take the lead. Shivering, she gave a softer groan into the kiss now, tilting her head a little more and letting Exa nuzzle into her neck, licking her fur. Remi felt... relaxed now. There was still that... instinctive tension and all the built-up urges to flinch away reactively, but... Those would just take time to smooth out. Not... much else had changed. Going slowly was still ideal, after all. But that didn't stop my need to figure out how the Nexus worked. I couldn't just pull people into it haphazardly!\n\nBoth of us gave a jump a second later, as my wrist made a beep. Oh, right... All three of us looked to my comm and I saw Kyry's name pop up on it. Well, she'd kept her word, that was for sure... Now to see what the results were. It was always something, these days...\n\n", "writing_bbcode_parsed": "Right...  The Garkin would have to wait longer than anticipated.  I completely forgot what was coming on firstday.  I was gently aware of the world rolling under me, light vibrations of the wheels of the bed on the tile.  Exa was in charge though, and dozing lightly herself, so I'd assumed we'd just gotten out of the procedure.  Something light today at least, with just the swapping of my other eye.  A bit... problematic, given it turned out that nerves were really hard to regenerate.

Even with my accelerated regeneration, my first eye hadn't fully gotten its focus back.  Things were a blurry mess in it, although I could tell basic shapes, colors, and lights.  I felt... more than a little vulnerable as it stood, but with my new internal scanning capacity, at least I wasn't nearly as blind as I could have been.  I just wished the eye's color would return.  It was still bloodshot and far paler than it was supposed to be.  They said that was normal, though.

I sat at the desk in my mind instead, pouring over notes and my Figments.  The research on the collars and source of the Nexus had all but dead-ended.  They referenced a Figment Red series, which was a bit disconcerting, but I couldn't check the library even to see if I had those ones.  Though, I was pretty sure I did.  Still, the entity was making blazingly fast work on healing my soul now.  The giant gashes had been sealed together in quite a few spots, turning rapidly into sinkholes instead of literally canyons.  I was feeling... more complete in memories now.  Even remembered the full incident leading up to my getting infected to begin with.  That had definitely been engineered by the Cult.  Then, after that, they had tried to capture me.  Had they been timing it to something?  I distinctly recalled that it took a while before the Nexus developed fully inside of my soul like it had.  If they were... cultivating it in me for some reason, waiting would make sense.  Though they didn't wait very long!  Fuck!

But that didn't tell me what they wanted with me.  I was hoping my new friend would give me more answers, but I wasn't holding my breath.  I'd had four more counters prepared and waiting for halting and capturing a Cultist, and she'd only taken one of them.  Really poor showing.  I don't think she was very high up the ladder at all.  Sad, really.  She'd been regenerating nicely though, with the twins watching over her just in case.  Just... watching over her.  I didn't exactly want them to get excited quite yet and subject her to humping.

At least I could talk to her like this.  Though once the second round of detoxing had started, I kind of doubted I'd be up for much else.  At least for a few days.  But at least I had time to research.  I'd come up with a new potential path for the infection, anyway.  Chronak had been right.  Sometimes giving a problem a bit of a rest did come up with new ideas.  I might have... been approaching this from the wrong direction.

Brute force blocking it was almost impossible, given how pervasive and infectious the wavelength was to someone's soul.  It only took a drop...  Trying to suppress it and prevent it from spreading had proven entirely ineffective, as it had overwhelmed all attempts, and what little did get through was enough to entirely saturate the chunks of meat I'd been using to sample the situation.  The twins were delighted with these experiments, of course.  The meat was perfectly fine for them.  Fried up nicely and they loved it.  Heh.

Then I realized... what if I worked from the other direction?  The wavelength that was spreading was either directly a byproduct of the Nexus itself, or the corruption that decays from the original byproduct.  Whichever came first.  Depending on which it was, I had some ideas on how it could be stopped.  If it had been a byproduct of the corruption, it would be easy to fix.  Just tightening up the refresh rate to an extreme level should absolutely nullify any corrupted wavelength energy before it even exited the body.  It would be a little tiring, but we only had to keep it up for the duration of the release of the fluids.  Once they were out of our bodies at that point, it would be entirely safe.

If the spreading was a byproduct of the Nexus itself... well for one, that was terrifying.  That meant that this... power that the infection had given me wasn't just for linking people together.  It was for forcing them to be linked together.  That meant the original probably was, or is, too.  But if so, there had to be a way to get a better... grasp on the power itself.  If it really was entirely mine to control and possess, there should be a way to simply... turn off the infecting property.  While the implications of this path were terrifying, this was actually the far easier solution to be had.  Honestly, I'd rather be not infectious for a majority of the time, than the opposite.  But I'd need to run a couple more tests before I could figure out which type it was.

I set the notes down, feeling as if I'd at least gotten preparation done on the topic.  I'd also researched all the information I could find on the essence patching, and was pretty certain I had a firm grasp on that too.  For once, I felt ahead of the game.  I'd even spent time working on a plethora of countermeasures for all of the things that had utterly fucked me in the past.  I was going to do my very best not to be caught off guard, ever again.  Well, almost never.  That... `Standby' command the cultist had used on Kada and I still illuded me.

Part of me was... absolutely terrified though.  I...  At some point, I had to step back and just look at myself again.  My soul was healing.  My body was ragged but getting pieced back together slowly.  But... it felt like my heart and mind were warped still.  I felt... disgusting, and it was perverting everything I even thought about.  I'd...  I hadn't even checked the guards for injured.  I... didn't even care.  There might have been injuries or deaths I could have prevented and I'd just... walked away.

My thumb's claw scraped at the wood of the desk, and I sighed.  There was... nothing.  I still didn't care.  The more I tried to think about the guards, the more all I could remember was being hurt over and over again.  Raped and used.  By force.  And all of my sympathy and pity for them just... died.  I didn't really want to go out of my way to hurt or kill anyone in Nulidia, but...  The entire city disgusted me.  It made me not want to go out of my way to save anyone here, either.  But at the same time, this didn't feel like... me.  I wasn't the same Exes that had gotten kidnapped.  Part of me had died already, and was just...  I don't think it was ever coming back now.  Not now.  Not after...

I took a few deep breaths, trying to steady the tremors running through my paws.  Fuck...  I closed my eyes and forced the thoughts out of my head again.  This is what I got for thinking about all of this too hard.  With luck, the therapist would have his equipment in.  But I doubted it would help get past the Nullstone still in my head.  I wished he'd just try the traditional therapy instead.

Exa was waking up now, and my ears flicked backwards as I felt her presence again.  Her eye opened, and she was momentarily concerned until I shared my scan of the room with her.  We were in one of the recovery rooms in the clinic now, and all the objects and room walls were outlined for her, relaxing her a bit.  ``Mmm, thanks, Exes.''  She sent her voice back into us, and I nodded outwards to her.  We'd gotten quite used to talking back and forth, now.

Not that she had to wait too long at all for the nurse to come in.  ``Ah, you're awake now!  Good.  The procedure went perfectly.  Same as last time basically.  You'll need to leave it bandaged for five to six days, depending on how the surface is regenerated.  I know you can check it yourself of course.  Your other eye is healing wonderfully, and should be back to almost perfect vision again within a day or so.  We gave you another round of targeted regeneratives for it.''  I wish I had the supplies to make targeted regeneratives myself.  But no, I had to conserve first to see how much the Garkin was going to need.

``Mmm, thanks, nurse.  Did you check over everything else?''  Exa was handling it marvelously, so I just relaxed in the chair, leaning back now and stretching.

``We gave you a full examination while you were out.  Your chest is fully healed without complications.  We looked over the stitching for your scrotum, but it's healed fully, so we removed them.  It'll still probably be tender for a few days or so while the tissue strengthens and reinforces itself fully.  Then the primary soreness will be as they grow larger adjusting to your male hormone balance.  We applied another set of regeneratives there, too.''  Oh boy.  I was going to get bigger, fast.  That was one part of me where my regeneration was actually helping.  Not that I minded bigger.  I just hope they didn't overdo it and I end up with an Exir issue.

Exa nodded to that.  ``Anything else I should worry about then?''

``Well take any sexual activity with care, obviously.  Make sure to keep everything washed, and try not to touch the eye too much.  Other than-``  She was interrupted by a little beep from her waist, and I saw her fetch a loose comm unit from her pocket and look at it briefly.  Hmm?

She froze then, arm giving a little jerk.  ``...oh!  Uh, I'm sorry!  I need to go!''

``Uh, w-what?''  Exa frowned, but the nurse had already stepped back, opened the door, and all but fled.  Uh... fuck.  Exa flailed, then promptly tagged me in as we swapped places, and I started tossing down wards over the room, sliding out of bed with that and shoving it out of the way.  If someone was coming for us, they would seriously regret it.

I scanned the room, waiting in the far back corner instead.  Drawers slid quietly open, with my attention dancing over the various implements inside.  At least six scalpels that were usable.  A dozen syringes of various sizes.  The IV stand in the corner was passable for bludgeoning.  I prepared everything and anything, then just watched the door, ears raised.  My eye was useless, so I relied purely on True Alchemy to see with.

Pawsteps outside.  My scan slid through the wall, and I saw a person slowly walking towards the door now.  They weren't making any effort to move quietly or stealthily at least, and my eye narrowed as they stopped, paw reaching out and lightly touching the doorknob.  Words drifted into my mind, ready to be activated in an instant, even as the knob started to turn.  More scan information flooded in as I focused on the figure.  Whomever it was, they were medium sized, though light in weight.  Lots of metal on them.  Could be weaponry.

The knob turned fully, and surprisingly loudly.  ``Hey, I'm coming in...'' she announced, also loudly, before the door opened fully.  My eye widened.  That voice!  It had been... a long time since I'd heard that voice.  My paw spasmed, and suddenly I wanted to hide instead, and not have her look at me.

She stepped into the room, closing the door and turning to face me fully, freezing and widening her eyes as she did.  My full True Alchemy scan went over her at the same time, but it was only confirmation of identity at this point.  Kyry.  The Jakatar female was in full leather armor, and was indeed very, very armed.  She was...  It was actually...  Her name danced over her head as she searched my expression, then gave a tense swallow.  ``I'm... sorry to barge in like this but...  Uh...''

I gave a shaky exhale and sagged.  She suspected, but... she didn't recognize me.  I mean, how could she really?  Scrawny, chalk-white and silver fur, naked and looking mauled to hell and back with one bandaged eye and one dead-looking one.  I steadied myself with a few more breaths before quietly answering finally.

``Kyry...''

She gave a jerk at her own name, eyes widening again before her paws clenched hard.  ``Oh Gods, Exes...  It really is you!  Fuck!  I finally found you!''  She had...  How had...?

She moved forward with that and ducked down, falling to a kneeling position before pulling me into a soft hug.  ``I'm sorry.  I'm so sorry it took so long to find you.  Fuck!''

I gave a shiver, mind unable to process this turn at all.  This is... the last person I thought I'd see walk through that door.  I gave a shudder instead, paranoia spiking suddenly.  No...  Not again!  A pulse as my wards activated, and Kyry gasped as she was suddenly slid halfway across the room from me instead.  My eye blazed blue and Keyhole unsealed on my chest as I switched to a glare instead, locking her down tight with stasis.  ``E-Exes?!''

``You...  You're...  Are you really Kyry?''  Multiple scans went over her as my wards went up, warping and distorting the air around me as I threw every detection I could at her.

She froze at that, eyes widening a little more before she relaxed and just let me sweep over her.  ``I...  I don't blame you at all for being paranoid.  After we failed to stop-``

It just cracked, and I snarled at that.  ``No!  You...  Fuck!  You have no idea what I've been through!  It's been almost a fucking year!''  She looked down and away at that, and I panted there, trying to catch my breath.  Fuck, the anesthetics were still fucking with me.

``Tell me.''  I paused, frowning at that.  What?  ``Tell me then, Exes.  Please...  We already know we failed you.  We can't take that back.  Please... just talk to me.  I'm really Kyry.  I'm... here with Lilita and Annah again.''  Again?

My eyes narrowed again.  ``How... why?  Why now?  Again?''

She gave a nod, still just watching me and not fighting my effect in the slightest.  ``Yes.  It's my fourth time investigating into a potential lead for you in the city.  This time because of what the mind mage ordered from the Academy.  Something to try to get around a mental block.''  Oh...  They knew that I had the Nullstone.

``The Nullstone...''  She nodded to that.  Every scan was saying she was really Kyry.  That this was... really happening and real.  Exa was quiet, shocked and just watching now.

I let her go.  She sunk slightly to the floor before feeling her arms, and standing again.  I brushed my paw over my own arm before looking to the right at the personal locker in the room.  Tch.  I felt...  I was disgusting, and suddenly I didn't want her looking at me at all.  My scans had already picked up my clothes inside, and several distortions later, they gently appeared on me in one fluid ripple, as fast as I possibly could make them.  My fur was... crawling under her gaze.

``I...  You really are Kyry.  I'm... sorry.  I didn't mean to get...  I don't have a lot of trust these days...''  My eye slid back up to looking at her, and she slowly nodded.

``No, I... understand fully.  I shouldn't have tried to hug you so abruptly.  It... sorry.  I just...  It's a relief to have found you finally.  You've... become a lot more powerful...''  My ears lowered at that, and I exhaled.  From necessity, maybe.  But she knew that already.

``The urge to... protect myself is strong now.  But...  I don't even know what to say.  I... can't see very well out of the eye.  It...  What...  What happens now?''  My mind was getting ahead of itself, gears spinning furiously.

Kyry relaxed but nodded to me.  ``Where are you staying?  I didn't actually look into anything before... coming to see if it was actually you this time.''

My right paw waved out, sealing the room with a silence ward before nodding to her.  ``With Voxet.  He's the owner of the Black Keld Gambling Hall and Inn, on the lowest level.  I'm... not alone there.  I have a group of sorts.''

Her ears slowly lifted at that.  ``Voxet?  Ah!  Yeah, I know him.  It's been years since we've spoke though.  And a group?''  She knew Vox?  It didn't really surprise me, but he hadn't said anything about her, even when I mentioned her name directly.  If she was even using her real name...

I nodded.  ``Two Vulkus twins.  Kar and Kan.  And uh... Remi.  You probably know her though...''  I'd mention Exa... later.

Kyry gave a jerk at that, eyes widening again for a long moment, before her arm twitched lightly.  ``Fucking...  She's alive?!  Damn it!''  She gave a low growl at that, and I coughed lightly.

``She said you'd say that.  She's expressed interest in coming with me when I left Nulidia.  The twins will be too.  I also... have a Cultist that I captured, and a slave that came from the busted Garkin experimentation facility that's in bad need of medical aid.  We also have an entire vault full of Demon Artifacts we stole...''

She stared in surprise at me for a long moment before slowly nodding.  ``Uh... wow.  Okay!  I wasn't expecting, uh...''

I gave a little shrug at that.  ``I've kept myself busy.  I figured it was more productive to... try to get myself out of Nulida rather than wait for someone to find me...''  She winced at that again, but it was just the truth.  They... had failed me.  Blatantly.  I paused after, then looked back to her then.  ``Oh... also, don't go after Vox.  He's helped me a lot.  No matter what he did in the past...''

That she gave a softer smile to, then shook her head.  ``He's helped us with several investigations too.  No, as far as Keldonia and Koramir are concerned, he's whitelisted.  Don't worry about that, Exes.  Him and Mirya will be fine.''  I sighed at that, then nodded.

``As for what's next...  I can't extract you like this.  Not by myself when the Cult's still looking for you.  Keep laying low, and I'm going to go report that I've found you.  I imagine the ball will get rolling fast after that...''  That... I'd imagine, yeah.  She reached into her pocket and pulled out another comm unit before passing it to me.  ``Not your old comm, but it's got all your contacts on it and the Realmsguard links.  I'll be contacting you as soon as possible once things get going.  They'll undoubtedly want to evacuate everyone, including the two Vulkus, Remi, the slave, and the Cultist, so be ready...''

I nodded at that.  ``Right.  I should probably let Voxet and Mirya know...''

Surprisingly, Kyry shook her head.  ``No, don't tell anyone other than Remi.  I'll talk to Voxet and Mirya myself when the time comes.  Until then, I don't want any interference or problems stirred up.''  True.  I gave her a nod at that.

``Alright.  Only Remi, then.''  Kyry relaxed, then nodded.

``Good.  After I report, I'm tailing you as well.  I... don't want to lose you again, no matter what, okay?''  I exhaled quietly, then nodded again.  Had her pride been injured or something by the failure?  I bit back that, though.

``Alright then.  I'll go report.  Expect to hear from us soon...''  Another nod, and she flickered away again, this time in a warped distortion of darkness that looked really, really fucked up with my blurry eye.  Well, fuck.  That had happened.

My eye slid down to the comm unit in my paw.  It was a newer one than what I'd had before.  Though I'd been wearing my comm when they kidnapped me, so who the fuck knows where that ended up.  Glad they cut its connections.  I slid the comm on, tucking it into my tunic sleeve before straightening my clothes and just heading out of the room.  Well, no sense in keeping Voxet waiting I suppose.  I had... a lot to think about.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~


Exa had had a bajillion questions, of course.  Thankfully I was able to answer most of them simply by feeding her the relevant memories from before getting kidnapped.  Voxet had been waiting in the lounge for me, and seemed entirely at ease, just giving a warm smile as I came out.  However Kyry had entered the building, it must not have been through the front door.  Had she only stopped sneaking on approach to my room?  He reported after that, for some totally mysterious and unknown reason, the psych appointment had been canceled today.  Yeah, I'm sure after the mind mage was contacted by the authorities and potentially a Bloodstalker or two, he decided he wanted zero to do with me.

I distinctly realized I was brooding.  Kyry showing up had forced all sorts of uncomfortable thoughts into my head.  That ugly sensation of being abandoned, and them failing to protect me like they were supposed to.  Of them not even managing to find me for almost a year.  I'd practically gotten myself out of Nulidia by the time they'd fucking found me, finally.  It was...  I was bitter.  Immensely bitter.  Maybe it was irrational.  I didn't know, really, how hard it was to track a slave in Nulidia.  I had... the estimates people told me.  But there was a disconnect.  It was just numbers.  And that disconnect caused me to risk trivializing it.  Which in turn made me question how important I really was to everyone.

I tempered it as best I could.  I knew... that I was kind of fucked in the head.  A storm of emotions crashed through me.  I let Exa take over for me as we headed back towards the Black Keld.  She was concerned, but not nearly as upset as I was, which would help keep Vox relaxed and unconcerned at the very least.  They eventually relaxed and even picked up a light conversation about supper for tonight, finally settling on pizza.

It... sounded good, but I couldn't bring myself to fully appreciate it.  Dutifully, we went to lay down after getting back, and found Remi waiting for us in the medical ward.  ``Ah, yer back early.  Um, Ah'm sorry Ah didn't... go with.  Ah know ya were goin' ta see tha therapist...''

We tagged out, and I swapped to the front, blinking once, then shivering as I sagged against the bed.  ``Eh?  Ya okay?  Er... Exes or Exa?''

I chuckled at that.  ``Exes this time...  We need to talk, Remi.  Fast...''

Her ears perked up at that, but she rapidly nodded.  She gave a start as I put up the silence ward, though.  ``Uh oh...  Somethin' happen?''  She gave me a nervous look, and I nodded, sliding my sleeve up and revealing the brand new comm unit.  Her eyes widened at that.  ``Where did ya get... wait...''

``Kyry found me...''  I watched her give a start at that, then wince lightly.  I just waited, watching her eyes dance for a moment, the gears undoubtedly going into overdrive inside her.

``She...  Fuck...  No, that's...  It's ah good thing.  This is... really happenin'.  Ah'm... still gonna stay with ya, Exes.  Ah just...''  Her eyes locked with mine again, that crazed look dancing through them once more.  Uh...

She swallowed tensely, flushing lightly before nodding to herself.  I almost didn't want to know, but assumed I was about to find out.  ``Exes...  Ah...  H-Have sex with me.''  I blinked once.  That... was definitely not what I was expecting.  In the slightest.

``I... w-what?  Remi...''

She shifted closer.  Right up against me, even.  ``P-Please, Exes!  Quick...  Just...  Just do it!  If...  If ya do that...  Ah'll get infected like tha twins.  They...  They can't take me away from ya, then!''  Oh...  Suddenly her intent all snapped into place, and I exhaled softly.

``Remi, calm down.  I don't think they're going to-``  She kissed me instead, cutting me off into a muffled, startled yelp.  It was frantic and desperate this time, as she pushed me back gently yet shakily against the pillows behind me, starting to undo the buttons on my tunic.

My paws grabbed her wrists, trying to stop her but she twisted, slipping free easily and pressing me backwards, sliding on top of me.  Tch, fuck!  A little burst of panic shot through me, and I couldn't stop myself.  I froze her with Stasis, mid-kiss!  Pushing her off me, I scrambled hastily to the side before falling off the bed going backwards.  I winced, landing on my upper back and rolling with a dull thud, and feeling spikes of pain signals radiating out through my neck and shoulders...  Fuck!

I lay there for a long moment, wincing as my left arm felt out, then braced me up against the nightstand.  Well, that probably wasn't the greatest for my recovery.  My heart hammered in my chest, and I panted for a second, trying to get my emotions under control again.  Tch...  I released the Stasis field, and Remi sat up instantly on the bed, bringing her paws up to her muzzle as her eyes started to get watery.

``Oh Gods...  Oh fuck...  Ah'm s-sorry, Exes!  Ah just...  Ah can't...  Ah can't be separated from ya!  Ah...''  My ears lowered as I stared at her, and she fell silent, clenching her paws together over her muzzle.   This wasn't...  I reached over and touched my shoulder, where the most pain was pinging from, and drew my paw back with the pad red.  Tch... of course.  Remi gave a squeak, then quickly dove off the bed, bouncing over to the medical supply cabinet as I rested there and sighed.  This was so fucked up.

I... knew why she wanted it suddenly.  I knew her own irrational line of thinking.  But the way she pushed me down... I saw the twins grin before they pounced me...  The same twins that I was now sort of friends with, sort of a weird, fucked up father figure for.  Everything was so fucked up.  I held pressure to my shoulder, feeling the heat and hearing the hissing, even as Remi slid around the bed with bandages and salves.  I... couldn't stop the wince as she slid up, then promptly slowed herself as best she could, slinking close enough to give me the medical stuff instead.

``Ah didn't...  Please, Exes.  Ah'm sorry...  Ah got...  It's...''

I sighed, then shook my head.  ``You don't want to be left alone or abandoned...  I know, Remi.''

She sagged at that, then slowly nodded, turning and sitting down against the side of the bed as I cleaned my shoulder with antiseptics.  The `burning' sensation triggered, but I was kind of glad my pain signals were still fucked up.  ``Ah... get somethin' in mah head an' just... go fer it.  Ah'm impulsive.  Ah know that.  Even this relationship was impulsive.  But Ah just... felt it, as deep as Ah possibly could.  That ya were... tha best thing ta possibly happen ta me.  Ah don't wanna risk them... arrestin' me or...''

I shivered as I held a bandage pad to my shoulder, then sighed.  ``I don't think selling your soul to me is the answer, Remi.  I don't... even know if it can be undone yet.  It's not worth it.  I'm... nowhere near as good as you think I am for you.  You...  You're an amazing girl, Remi.  You could do so much better...''

She glared my way instead, then shook her head.  ``Ah disagree.  Yeah, yer hurt too, just like me.  But...  Ah think yer amazin'.  Perfect fer me...  All o' ya.  Exa too, o' course.  Even if Ah could find another male, Ah don't want ta, Exes.  Ah just want you.''  My expression softened to her, and she gave me a gentler smile before slowly easing in, then kissing me again on the muzzle.  I couldn't stop the flinch, but this time...

This time it was entirely the opposite.  She was relaxed again, and just gave an affectionate nuzzle right against me.  It was... a lot nicer than before, and I kissed back, easing against her mouth as she teased my lips with her tongue.  It was... warm.  The heated flush from my cheeks seemed to drift into my chest too as I let her slide her tongue into my muzzle, slowly easing away that icky, clammy feeling from before.  Like a bad dream.  No, Remi didn't...  She wasn't going to hurt me.  She just was... hurt and desperate.

She sunk against me, trading places with my paw and holding the bandage there herself as she eased against my chest.  Arms free, I slid them over her back and held her to me, kneading her muscles along her spine, and getting her to shiver.  She felt... good against me.  Maybe it was fucked up, but it still made me feel good.  Remi felt... `right'.

Exa gasped inside me, giving me a nudge and stirring me from the sensation.  Huh?  I slid back, giving Remi a little squeeze as she shivered against me, then broke off from the kiss and gave a slow blink, trying to snap myself out of the fuzziness in my head.  That was...  A warm, fun feeling.  What had...?  Remi blinked once, looking dizzy herself as she reached her free paw down and touched her muzzle, drawing back her paw and revealing glowing blue fluid on it.  W-What?  Wait..

I touched my muzzle quickly, then looked at my paw.  It was...  My saliva was glowing blue.  That...  Remi's eyes widened, shifting from teal to a radiant azure.  Fuck!  No, this wasn't...!  When had...?!  ``W-What...?  But Ah thought...''  She shuddered, giving a groan after as her expression sagged and eyes lidded.  I rushed inside myself, barely swapping past Exa as I stumbled into the inner room in the soulscape, just in time to see Remi slowly radiate out of thin air, tendrils wrapping around her as she landed, and holding her in place.  No!

I grabbed at them, trying to pull them free; to yank them off her or get her out of their grasp, but they only sank deeper, her fur shifting to cracked and glowing blue under their touch.  Shit!  This wasn't...  No, this wasn't what was supposed to happen!  It wasn't supposed to affect saliva!  Fuck!

``E-Exes...!''  Exa sounded flustered, and I shifted my attention back to her, noting her now holding a sagged, barely conscious Remi in her arms.  This... damn it!

We swapped again, and I sighed, pulling Remi up against me and feeling her shiver.  Now... it was really fucked up.  I knew she'd just asked to have this done but... she wasn't in her right mind!  This was...  It wasn't supposed to be in my saliva!  Fuck!  It felt... like I'd betrayed her now.  I fucked up and thanks to that, it got her...  I should have predicted this!  My paw clenched, but she slid her own into it, giving me a start.  Uh...

Glowing blue eyes slowly shifted to teal again as she looked up at me, looking a bit tired now.  ``It...  Ya didn't know, Exes.  Relax...  Ah'm not angry.''  My ears lowered, but she shook her head before resting against my chest instead.  ``Ah'm not.  Can we... rest together until Kyry contacts ya?''

Slowly, I nodded to her, feeling numb now.  I didn't... know what else to do, initializing Exa as well, who faded into existence next to us before promptly snuggling up to Remi too.  I...  I needed to get a grip on the infection, and now.  I couldn't stay contagious like this!  Not... like this.

Exa pulled us both up onto the bed instead, and Remi snuggled up into my chest, shivering lightly now.  I hadn't given her any orders or contingencies, but I also didn't know exactly what it felt like to get pulled into the Nexus.  My paws gently massaged her, and she smiled, pushing her face up against my chest.  ``This...  Ah can feel ya.  Yer... intent an'... just yerself.  It's hard ta explain...''  It was... true.  Remi was the first coherent outsider with a semi-stable outlook that had connected to the Nexus.  I'd not talked to the Jakatar yet, so I didn't know about her.  The twins... had the outlook of three-year-olds and faced the feelings with exuberance and almost infinite energy.  Exa was... me.  Her perspective had already started out biased.  Remi though...

She shivered, giving my chest another soft nuzzle as she did.  ``It...  Ah can just... trust ya.  Ah know ya don't wanna hurt me, now.  This...  Gods, Ah wish Ah'd done this from tha start.''  I flushed at that.  I could... feel her growing more amorous by the second as she kept tight against my chest.  Idly, I wondered if there was some sort of... indoctrination or imprinting built right into the Nexus at this point.

Exa frowned to that and booped the top of my head.  ``It's not forced, Exes.  Maybe people just like you as a person, and enjoy being around you?''  My ears flattened back at that, feeling scolded now, but Remi's perked, and she looked up at me, using her arms to give me a soft squeeze around the chest.

``Exes, no...  Ah don't think there's anythin' forcin' me ta feel this way.  Ah mean...''  Her expression softened for a moment and she sighed.  ``Ah've... been keepin' distant o' people fer a long time now.  Everyone...  Everyone's scary, Exes.  Ah can't just trust people again.  Ah know ya feel that way too, now.  But... now yer different.  Very different.  Ah can just...  Ah know Ah can trust ya.''  I... understood that.  She had the desire for socialization just like everyone else did.  It was just a natural need and urge.  Plus the fact that I was willing to be... more intimate with her...  I suspect that added a layer of appeal to being able to detect my intent and desires.

She flushed deeper, looking up at me now, and I brushed my paws over her cheeks, causing her to shiver.  Sliding up higher again, she caught my muzzle in a soft kiss once more, and Exa smiled to our left, still snuggling us both.  I knew those urges myself.  Not everyone had the desire for... more than just basic socialization.  But I already knew that I did, and I'd gone without for a long time too.  The want for companionship too.  The very base sensation behind being mates.

I nuzzled into the kiss, soft glow forming between us as her tongue teased mine into her muzzle.  She alternated, I noticed, on her desire to be in charge, and to let me take the lead.  Shivering, she gave a softer groan into the kiss now, tilting her head a little more and letting Exa nuzzle into her neck, licking her fur.  Remi felt... relaxed now.  There was still that... instinctive tension and all the built-up urges to flinch away reactively, but...  Those would just take time to smooth out.  Not... much else had changed.  Going slowly was still ideal, after all.  But that didn't stop my need to figure out how the Nexus worked.  I couldn't just pull people into it haphazardly!

Both of us gave a jump a second later, as my wrist made a beep.  Oh, right...  All three of us looked to my comm and I saw Kyry's name pop up on it.  Well, she'd kept her word, that was for sure...  Now to see what the results were.  It was always something, these days...

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