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Unfortunate medical issues and holiday stuff really ran me over, but I continue along either way!\n\nHere's the next chapter of Exes. Hey, he actually gets some happiness this time!\n\nPotentially Triggering Tags:\nNone\n\nChapter Summaries:\nhttps://docs.google.com/document/d/1VHNSczlxfkUvf34NKZNscT1a3Rr-222jdhGpdfV82Fw/edit?usp=sharing\n\nCurious about my custom species? Here's a link!\nhttps://docs.google.com/document/d/1k0PobVi3hgyzg8zrro6rnqLLpm_cybJd-3LP-kvp1KI/edit?usp=sharing\n\nFeel like giving me a little financial assistance? I’ve set up a SubscribeStar account! I'm extremely thankful for everyone who donates anything they can, be it a subscription or one-off donation.\nhttps://subscribestar.adult/kiroberos-entertainment", "description_bbcode_parsed": "I exist again!  Unfortunate medical issues and holiday stuff really ran me over, but I continue along either way!

Here's the next chapter of Exes.  Hey, he actually gets some happiness this time!

Potentially Triggering Tags:
None

Chapter Summaries:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1VHNSczlxfkUvf34NKZN...

Curious about my custom species? Here's a link!
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1k0PobVi3hgyzg8zrro6...

Feel like giving me a little financial assistance?  I’ve set up a SubscribeStar account!  I'm extremely thankful for everyone who donates anything they can, be it a subscription or one-off donation.
https://subscribestar.adult/kiroberos-entertainment", "writing": "I was taking a huge risk. But part of me realized that I was going to hit a dead end sooner or later on what I could find out on my own. I sat there at my desk, feeling the memories come in from X, even as my True Alchemy sensors still functioned entirely, feeding me even more detailed information. I experienced everything that X did, without even the slightest lag. We shared a body, after all.\n\nRemi. She was complicated. I'd clearly caught her off guard back there. Her in-control stoic act had faltered in the face of being startled. Especially when she failed to escape the Stasis effect. How much of the Bloodstalker training she'd completed, I didn't know, but she'd at least seemed out of her depth there, for that split second. It had shaken her, probably as badly as who I really was, had. It had caused her to act... odd. Did I actually believe the story she'd told about her mate and being abused? Yeah... it made sense. She'd obviously never gone to therapy over it, and instead just... shut herself off and shoved everyone away. At least other than Vox, who'd saved her. I didn't know the details there, but she clearly highly respected him.\n\nBut did I trust her? I... was willing to give the attempt. She had some serious mental issues, but seemed earnest enough. And in the stopgap between deciding she was trustworthy, the True Alchemy `Trace' I placed on her when we shook paws would fill in the rest. I'd never tried it out before, for lack of a reason to, but now it was getting a workout feeding me data on exactly what she was doing at every given moment. I'd quickly started mentally parsing it and filtering out irrelevant actions, without narrowing it too much. I wanted to know if she talked about me or not, not every time her rear itched.\n\nWhich it, and the rest of her, was doing a lot of at the moment. I was seeing signs of acute stress reaction from her now, as she washed her face in the bathroom of the medical ward, while X tried to figure out how to make a PEC helmet pause. I sighed, then nudged the right button in her mind, causing her to perk and hit it, then give a little celebratory paw pump into the air... and `thank' me back. Fuck, this was... surreal. I was literally interacting with myself. Of course, at this point... I didn't think she was really me, now did I?\n\nResting my head on my desk, I sighed, curling my arms around myself. Yet here I was, locked away as a prisoner inside my own body, nursing gaping soul wounds and barely managing basic studies while she was out there relaxing now and actually living. Maybe... they were right. Ever since I'd woken up after almost dying... almost every one of my thoughts had been either hateful or bitter. Or paranoid and straining to get ahead of invisible enemies at every bend. Fuck...\n\nMy eyes opened and I looked my paw over, right in front of my face now, feeling overwhelmed again. Its wrought metal was covered entirely in tentacles now, and forming what vaguely was shaped like my actual paw. This was all I was left with. I didn't even know who I was anymore. What I was. After everything that happened to me, what was even left? Who... was I? Did I even know? The burning sensation of the Soulthorn sliding into my stomach writhed through my memories alone, and I shuddered, closing my eyes tight again and squeezing my legs together. They'd taken everything, and they wanted [i]more[/i] from me. I knew the Cult was still looking for me. And in escaping them, I'd fallen into Nulidia and been practically torn apart. Was it better or worse than what would have happened if they'd captured me instead? What the fuck did they even [i]want[/i] with me?!\n\n``Why me?'' I'd asked myself that a lot. I'd pitied myself. I'd raged against those who hurt me. I was still a little kit, injured and curled up in the corner, hating the world for what it had done to me. But... All I could do was keep walking forward. Even if I was in agony on the inside and wanted to curl up and die. I had to... pull myself together again. With the entity's help, maybe I could...\n\n[center]~ ~ ~ ~ ~[/center]\n\nI smiled, trying my best to push thanks inwards to... myself, I suppose, who'd clearly played PEC games before. This was so weird. Still, I sat in the practice area, feeling the ball over in front of me with the special controller gloves on. The water finally stopped running in the bathroom, and Remi stepped out again, slowly walking my way while being careful with her leg.\n\nShe climbed up onto the bed next to me and looked me over again rather curiously. Like she had before she'd excused herself to wash up. I tilted my head to her, but she smiled again and grabbed the other helmet, before flopping over next to me on the pillows and turning it on. Oh! I gave a mental shrug and relaxed at that, side against hers, and watched as she appeared in the illusionary area instead. All white, with just some objects to play with.\n\n``Alright, this is just fer practice, obviously. Toss tha ball!'' I nodded to her, then did just that, sending it her way. She was still getting her gloves on, but bonked it back my way with her forehead instead while she did. Hah!\n\nI felt her grin next to me and nodded, catching the ball again and looking it over. This was neat! ``Hey, X. Who do ya think you... [i]are[/i]?'' I paused after tossing the ball back, and she caught it, watching me curiously. Huh?\n\n``You mean... who was I?'' My words appeared in the game this time instead, but she shook her head.\n\n``No, who ya are now. Separate from tha other guy...'' Oh. Huh.\n\nShe tossed the ball back at that, and I tried my paw at bouncing it off my head and towards her too. She caught it pretty easily with a little hop, after I sent it too high. ``I mean... I dunno. I... guess I haven't really thought about it. I like... helping people and making them feel good. Um, e-even in a non-sexual way. The training... is something I'm starting to see the truth of now.'' But those urges were... hard to shake.\n\nShe gave a nod to that, sending the ball back. I managed to hop as well to catch it, testing the jump function out as she watched, looking... tranquil. Something was off. ``Yer... ah nice gal. Ah can tell that much. Ah... think Ah was wrong about ya bein' ahn injured pup under ah box, though...''\n\nI tilted my head to that again, uncertain where she was going with that. Gal? I'd told everyone I was going to try being a boy, hadn't I? I tried an under-paw toss instead, and she hopped, then spun, catching it a bit further back from me now. ``What Ah mean is... Yer actually pretty strong. Fer bein' in ah completely unknown situation, yer still doin' yer best ta roll with things. Yer... gettin' help fer yourself an' tryin' ta fix things, even though it's scary. Yer... stronger than Ah am...'' She repeated my under-paw, gently sending the ball my way again. I caught it, not taking my eye off her, though.\n\n``Is... everything okay, Remi? You seem a bit off...'' I frowned as I watched her, but she paused at that, then looked down a little before giving a small smile.\n\n``Ah'm... ah little shaken. Maybe... Ah saw myself in ah mirror somewhere...?'' Her tone was a bit quiet, but I had big ears and she was right next to me, so...\n\n``You... didn't like that?''\n\nA small widening of her smile, and she shook her head. ``Guess... we're ah lot alike in some ways. Partly, no... Ah don't like myself much. Ah always thought Ah was improvin', but... Feels like Ah've barely even let mahself think ever since... what happened. It's all been reactionary. Always movin'. Never stoppin' ta think.'' I frowned, but she gave a softer chuckle. ``Vox has helped me so much. But Ah never really... was big on helpin' myself. Would rather just run away. Guess seein' myself in... tha mirror... threw me off ah bit. Ah'm not used ta not knowin' what Ah'm doin'... It's not ah pleasant feelin'...'' Uh... Her paws were actually fidgeting on the ball now. She was... more than a little shaken, it felt like.\n\nI wasn't entirely sure on what she meant, but I smiled and nodded anyway, tossing the ball back her way, overpaw this time. Maybe she needed this, too? She relaxed a little, looking me over before... frowning and shivering lightly. Uh...? Then she spun, and instead slammed her paw into the ball, sending it skipping off the ground and right back up at me in an instant! I squeaked, managing to whack the ball back at her, but she hopped up, then fired it back again, just as fast as the first time! Eh?!\n\n``Why? How do ya throw me off so easily?! Why are ya so easy ta trust?! It's sickenin'!'' I flailed, unable to respond to her as she sent a constant barrage of return shots my way while she spoke, effortlessly seemingly, unbothered by talking at all!\n\n``It's disgustin'! Floppin' all over myself like ah fuckin' fish!'' Whap! I dove to the side, barely managing to hit the ball back this time, but she just spun and [i]kicked[/i] it back my way instead, even faster! ``It's yer fault! Yer tha reason Ah'm feelin' so fuckin' off! Yer like lookin' in ah mirror, but not at tha same time!''\n\nSomehow, I managed to find out that I could initiate movements with my mind, and backflip fast enough to kick the ball back towards her! I didn't even know why I didn't just catch it and wait, but it felt like I wasn't supposed to, now! ``Yer not supposed ta be able ta be hurt like this! Yer supposed ta be strong an' in-charge an' always knowin' what people want!'' Another whack, this time as she screamed, seething towards me. I froze, only seeing her glare at me, and the ball whacked off my face instead, knocking me over and onto my rear. It spun off to the left somewhere, and I heard the dull little `pleep' noise of it landing on the ground again. Remi...\n\nShe glared at me for a long moment before the expression faltered, her muzzle twisting up lightly. I reached up and hit the pause button, and the display vanished, as I turned and looked over at her next to me instead. ``Remi...''\n\nShe didn't look at my screen though, instead slowly sliding off the display, cheeks red, yet tears sliding down them now. I didn't... I couldn't really understand what was wrong, but... My paw touched hers, and she gave a jerk, but didn't move. Even as I just slid over and wrapped my arms around her in a little hug. I didn't... know what else I could do for her. Then I widened my eye as she pushed up against my neck instead, shivering there.\n\nShe was crying outright now, paw balling-up the fabric of my tunic as she pressed into me. There was something primal about it, with it feeling like she wanted a... baseline emotional contact for the moment. Just to be hugged there and let it out. She pushed back though, easing me into the pillows instead before just settling partly onto my side, head pressed into my shoulder instead.\n\nShe shakily grabbed my arm and gave it a squeeze as she did, then gave a weak chuckle as she put it over her and got me to hold her to my side. ``Ah... hate bein' vulnerable. Ever since...'' I nodded, that time knowing where she was going with it, and she exhaled, sagging against me again. ``Ah try my hardest not ta ever be vulnerable again. But... Ah think yer tha same way. Both o' ya.'' My ears perked up at that, and... I felt him suddenly paying more attention too.\n\nShe looked up at me, eyes still watery, and shook her head. ``Yer tha same way. It's just... natural, ain't it? Ya get hurt an'... fall back. Shy away. Burned, an' then scared o' tha fire. Take precautions ta avoid it. Put on ah brave face an' act tough...'' Slowly, I nodded. He agreed too. It was... just natural. We were all animals after all. He... had been gravely injured too, and retreated fully inside himself to avoid the pain and damage. I... was the result of that. In a way, he was sparing [i]me[/i] from the pain of what happened to us. He held that all in himself. I wasn't... afraid of him anymore. I looked up to him. Myself. Which was... weird but... true, all the same.\n\nHer expression softened at that. ``But yer different too. Ya... Yer still tryin'. Ya already started makin' plans ta move on. Fix things. Let people in again an' not run away anymore. Maybe... Maybe Ah wanna be that way, too?''\n\n``Why can't you be?'' I tilted my head as I typed it, and she paused, searching my expression before just chuckling softly.\n\n``An' ya ask that, without even hesitatin'. Tha other you... Yer tha same. Yer both stronger than me. That... pisses me off, but... that's not yer fault. No, if... If anythin', Ah can... learn from ya.'' She looked up at me again with that, and my ears flicked lightly. Another pause, and she hesitated. ``Or... maybe just... pretend fer ah bit? Ah little break fer tha soul an' all? Guilty pleasure... an' maybe borrow yer strength... Fleeting connection fer ah similar soul?'' Similar soul?\n\nShe shifted to rambling as she stared at me, and I started to tilt my head again. She... took advantage of that movement to tilt hers the other way instead, then lean forward and push her muzzle into my own. My eye shot open to full size, even as she shuddered and pushed into me, sliding more over my chest instead of my side.\n\nIt... wasn't like my prior kisses. She was urgent and needy but... not in a sexual way. In a desperate, hungry way, for contact itself. I relaxed, melting back into it with her and pulled her closer, holding her to my chest and ignoring any... side effects she caused... Boys really did react to the slightest provocation, didn't they? Her arms slipped over my shoulders, and she was mindful of my bandages as her kiss finally... softened. She shuddered, then moaned into it as my paw stroked her cheek, just gently rubbing in circles through her fur.\n\nSlowly, she backed up again, entire face red now. I just let her ease back, moving my paws to rubbing her sides and back instead. If... I had something I could provide that she needed, I was more than happy to give it to her. She wasn't trying to hide her expressions or keep her emotions in check anymore, I realized, as she started to cry again, then dove in for another kiss instead. Pretend, huh? I wondered what she was pretending about.\n\nI slid back, getting more comfortable against the blankets as she desperately pushed the PEC helmets away from us, moving fully on top of me while carefully sliding her legs around my bandaged groin. A deeper kiss, and I let her tongue slide into my muzzle. She groaned, shuddering against me as I rubbed her sides and back. Just... let it all out. She was starving and hadn't just... let herself feel anything for a very long time. I understood that now, I think.\n\nShe eased back again, watery eyes still locked with my own singular one. My paw brushed her cheek, and I leaned forward instead and gave her forehead a little peck. She sagged against me, then pushed forward again, using her paws to pull my head down to hers. A softer touch this time, and she sighed into a groan against my muzzle. It changed. Now she was kissing [i]me[/i] instead of just feeling. Maybe I should have seen this coming. Maybe I should have stopped her. But I didn't. To be honest... she felt good back. That sensation of just sharing intimacy with someone, even if it was pretend.\n\nWas it pretend? Her facade was in tatters now, and still, this time she pulled me into her mouth, groaning as she stroked my tongue with her own. Keeping herself pressed up as tight to my chest as she could without injuring me further. But I persisted, paws keeping to only the safest spots on her, massaging and stroking and just letting her lead. It became lazy after a while, just suckling her tongue and tugging back and forth. \n\nFinally, she eased back, giving a long sigh and just watching me with lidded eyes, cheeks flushed. I felt the heat in my own, but cleared my head and gave her a smile instead again, coupled with another hug. She shivered, searching my expression before just snuggling up and tucking her head under my chin. I didn't... really know what to say to her after that, but she was clearly a lot more content than she had been. Which I was happy for.\n\n``Yer... safe.'' Huh? My eye opened again, and I looked down at her, but she stayed snug against my neck. ``That's why yer so disarmin'. Ah just... figured it out. Yer ah lot like me. An' yer... ah good person. Ah can [i]feel[/i] it. In every little thing ya do. Even... just givin' me that attention ah... asked for.''\n\nI relaxed again and rested my head on top of hers, getting another shiver. She turned just a little, letting the bridge of her muzzle tuck along the curve of my neck and jaw. She gave a shaky exhale, like she'd just inhaled a part of me and used it to breath, and found she liked it. ``Yer safe. Yer tha first person ah've ever met, like me... but that also... Let's me feel safe...'' I think that sounded like a good thing.\n\nA smile. Uh oh. ``Vox an' Meria... want ya ta stay with them. Ah know that's... probably not gonna happen but... If ya did...'' Another soft nuzzle, and she shivered from her own touch against me. ``Ah think Ah'd probably end up fallin' fer ya. Ah can feel it...'' Oh. Inside me became... quiet at that. My paws rubbed her fur gently, and she shivered again, giving a soft lick to my neck. Remi...\n\nShe sat upright, as suddenly as this all began, and looked directly down at me from my chest. Eh?! She looked... a little crazed suddenly. ``Or... Or Ah'll just run away again. Or... face what Ah ran away from all along. Go with ya instead. Once... Once Vox saves up enough, he ain't gonna need me anymore. Ah... always knew that. Eventually it would be... goodbye. But maybe... Maybe there's ah reason fer that. Ah don't have ta be alone anymore if...''\n\nShe shivered, eyes starting to water again as she looked down at me. She winced, then started to slide off me until I stopped her, and pulled her back down instead. [i]I[/i] kissed [i]her[/i] this time, and she shuddered, sinking against me, even as her tears hit my own cheeks instead. But I just held her there on my chest, rubbing her sides. I didn't want her to hurt... But... I also liked her company as well. Falling for me...? Would that really be a bad thing, if it meant I fell for her too?\n\nWe broke the kiss again, and her eyes opened softly down towards me, cheeks flushed once more. Gently, that coy smirk shifted back onto her muzzle. ``Mmm, or... maybe yer not gonna give me any choice in tha matter. But...'' She paused, then relaxed into a softer smile and tucked under my chin again. ``...but it's worth it if... ah can feel safe an' free again.'' Mmm, that much I could agree with for sure.\n\nI snuggled against her, then felt her tuck her tail up until she hooked the blankets and pulled them around us. Mmm, right. It was... late now. I rotated onto my side, setting her down with me as her tail whacked the buttons on the wall a couple times until the lights dimmed. This was... She gave me another soft kiss, drawing me against her until we were snuggling again, and I just rested there, letting myself enjoy her touch until I drifted away again...\n\n[center]~ ~ ~ ~ ~[/center]\n\nFuuuuuuuuuuck. My eye opened, glowing blue light bathing us both in the dark. Her resting expression shifted to a smirk a second later, and her eyes opened to look up into my glowing one. ``Really...?!'' I had to ask her. There were no other words available.\n\nShe snorted, then gave a giggle against me. ``Really. But... Ah meant what Ah said. An' ta you, too.'' She... what? [i]Both[/i] of us?! I frowned, but she snuggled into me again, undeterred by the radiant eldritch marking on my chest. Then she leaned up and kissed me again instead. My eye widened a little, but I relaxed a second later. X... was right to a degree. After so long, and being in nothing but misery... I felt... filthy. But at the same time, everything around me was covered in filth too. Was it a relationship if we were both using each other equally? Pretty sure even X was guilty of that now...\n\nI kissed her back. Again, in a way. She shivered, keeping herself close against me, as her arms slid over my shoulders. It was nice. No, I [i]did[/i] understand her. Being with someone who made you feel safe and secure, especially when those things were desperately missing from your life normally... We were both wounded animals, hiding under the same cardboard box, taking shelter from the rain and curled against each other. Not... probably the healthiest balance for a relationship but... Fuck, what did it even matter? Compared to everything else I was dealing with... \n\nShe pulled back, string of saliva connecting us, before smiling again. ``Mmm, ya make me feel safe too, Exes. Ah... know ya have mates already, but... What... if Ah did run away with ya? Once ya get past this. When ya get... back ta yer life. Could... Could Ah come too? Ah know it sounds crazy! Ah just met ya but...''\n\nMy thumb brushed her cheek, and she shivered, searching my expression again. ``Yeah, but we're both crazy, aren't we? It... It's complicated, but it's always complicated. I... have trust issues, Remi. I know you do, too. Are you really sure this is... what you want? If you need me to... provide something for you, just say so. You don't have to commit to something crazy...''\n\nA smirk at that. ``Always givin'. What about what [i]you[/i] want, hmm? Ah... think Ah understand ya now, though. But... that's just... makin' me feel more adamant in tha crazy option...'' Well, that was troubling.\n\n``No matter how crazy it is, or how not normal I am...?'' She nodded enthusiastically of course.\n\n``O' course! That... kinda makes it even more interestin'...'' Of course.\n\nI sighed, then wiggled my nose softly. ``Even if I may not be entirely... an Inaga? What if I were, say, an eldritch entity from outside the veil of our realm, possessing a strange soul... disease of sorts that's highly contagious and spreads through my blood and sexual fluids, which pulls your soul into my own and enslaves you to me as if you were wearing a collar?'' I lifted an eyebrow to her at that, and she frowned, looking a little confused.\n\n``Yer... what? Uh... okay, Ah think tha important bits outta that were enslavin' me with yer... sexual fluids or blood?'' I nodded.\n\n``Yes. I... don't fully know how to control it yet, but I can't make it not contagious yet. Atir and Callia are in the psyche ward in the Agency thanks to it.''\n\nHer eyes widened a little at that. ``Right, they... uh... abused ya. Psyche ward? Ah thought ya said...'' I averted my eye at that, and she paused, searching my expression before her own softened, and she slowly grinned instead. ``Ooooooh. No, no... Actually, Ah fully applaud. If those fucks deserve anythin', it's actually somethin' far worse than that.''\n\nI exhaled, sagging back against the pillows again. ``You're handling that admittedly well. Better than earlier...''\n\nHer muzzle scrunched this time. ``Ya... grabbed me an' Ah couldn't get away... That... freaked me out...''\n\nI winced. ``I... sorry. I didn't mean-``\n\nShe interrupted me with a nuzzle, however. ``Then ya let me go without any fuss, an' were nice ta me, just like that. Kinda turned me on...'' Uh...\n\nShe winked, and I coughed. ``Uh, sexual fluids?'' That she laughed at, at least.\n\n``Psssh. Boys. Always thinkin' about sex.''\n\n``You started it!'' A grin to that.\n\nShe slowly nodded though. ``Ah'm nothin' if not recklessly impulsive, though. So yeah. Ah hope ya don't mind, but Ah think Ah'm... just gonna dive fer it an' try livin' fer once. Hope ya don't mind bein' `hunted'...'' She leaned in again and gave a nuzzle along my neck, and I sighed. This... wasn't what I was expecting at all. It might be an incredibly elaborate scheme to gain my trust but that seemed... downright bizarre at this point. No, if anything, I think I'd blundered into some unstable mental issues of hers... which actually made a lot of sense, if I'd triggered something in her when she panicked.\n\nBut she'd... already gotten me thinking about things. Things I maybe didn't want to think about. I didn't even know now. ``I... do have mates. I think, anyway. My last memories of them weren't the greatest and I have no idea where they are now, or what they're doing, or who they're with. Maybe I don't have mates anymore? But it... doesn't matter. I mean, if I wanted to be with you too, I don't think anyone in Aion would really tell me no at this point...'' I rested against the top of her head and just enjoyed her touch. She shuddered against me, then slowly nodded. I wasn't sure of myself really. I didn't know what to do next or where to go to escape Nulidia. I suspected Remi could quite easily help me do just that but... I didn't want to hurt her or take advantage of her either. So, I wasn't about to ask. Not yet, anyway. Plus, a part of me wanted to stand on my own.\n\nShe was right. I was sick of being vulnerable. Having to rely on others for my own safety, then constantly being hurt anyway. I... A part of me was bitter. Feeling let down and [i]abandoned[/i]. A part of me was hurt and lashing out like an animal. Atir felt that one. Maybe they'd stayed with Exir. Maybe they'd moved on. What the fuck did I care? That was almost a [i]year[/i] ago now, and... I was... But someone to be with who was... there, and I didn't have to worry was going to hurt me was...\n\nMy paws tightened against her fur, shivering a bit. She... didn't seem to mind, and only gave me a nuzzle. This was a pretty fucked up relationship, if it went that way, but maybe it was what we both needed? I forced them to relax against her and nodded, feeling her give my fur a lick. ``Alright. If this is what you really want, I'm not going to stop you. But...'' Her eyes opened up at me again, waiting. ``First, you have to let me try to figure out this infection thing.''\n\nSlowly, she nodded again. ``Ah... wouldn't mind tha delay before sex anyway... It's... ah touchy... matter fer me. Pun not intended...''\n\nI nodded easily to that. ``For me too. So... it works out for both of us. But two... You have to go to therapy with me.''\n\nThat she froze at for a moment, eyes widening a little. I just watched her however, and she sagged, relaxing again after another pause. ``Ah... Yer probably right. If... yer there with me, okay. Ah'll try...'' She was a little pup too, running and hiding against me for safety. But I was the same way, so I couldn't judge.\n\nI nodded, then rested against her again and re-sealed the Keyhole. ``Alright. Then let's just see what tomorrow brings...'' I felt her smile against my fur and nod, tucking herself up into me. I... couldn't hog her either, though. From myself? I sank back down after another moment, and let X spend the night snuggling her, instead. I... Being jealous of yourself was... weird...\n\n[center]~ ~ ~ ~ ~[/center]\n\nWe... needed this. In part, I realized that X was a big security hole in myself. In another, we were sharing one body and communication was clearly of essence. Especially if things had taken a turn into the even weirder, and we were now going to be intimate with the same female... who was distinctly aware of, and liked, both of us. So, if anything, this was Remi's fault. I'd tell that to her later, of course.\n\nThe more I considered X, the more things actually made more sense, if nothing else. Soulthorn had torn my soul into ribbons, barely even connected to each other. It took a bit of... searching, but I found her. Actually found her, in my soulscape. That... cemented things for me. She was real. This was real and happening. After I'd retreated and they tried to re-initialize my soul, basically, they instead managed to get one of the hanging slivers of it. X was right there, growing the sliver out into her own personal self.\n\nI'm pretty sure the Keyhole entity had been amused when I sent the instructions to not bind that sliver back into me, and instead fill out where it had been missing and let it be. I didn't know what would happen, but... I wasn't about to destroy X. Not like what almost happened to me. I couldn't. So... it was time for a talk.\n\nIt was effortless to relocate her soul representation into the little house I'd carved for myself. Same way I had with the others. Of course, she wasn't strung up by tentacles sliding through her at odd angles, and frozen in place like a statue. She was like me, and seemed asleep more than anything. Well, sort of like me.\n\nShe didn't have enough of a soul sliver to actually dream. I imagine whenever she rested, it was just empty darkness. But now... I touched my eldritch paw against her chest, and she shivered there, pulsing with energy as I nudged her consciousness into this instead. Her first experience in dreaming was about to get very, very weird.\n\nX's eyes opened up. My own blue eyes staring back at me. Here, they were whole. No bandages or anything covering them. They gave a jerk, eyes widening fully at that, then edging away from me on the bed instead. I'd expected that, given I looked like a mashup of mechanical and tentacles. Really had me questioning exactly what I was... but that was for another time.\n\n``X. Sorry about the abruptness of all of this, but... I felt we had to talk about things.''\n\nShe froze there, staring at me. It felt like she recognized my voice... or me to a certain degree beyond that, through our connection. ``E-Exes...? You're...'' She perked a second later, then felt her own throat. She'd just spoken for the first time, without the aid of the projection device.\n\nI nodded. ``This is... inside us. Our soulscape. Well, my portion of it. I found you inside of me. You're a sliver of my own soul that was fragmented partly off me when we... Well, when we were hit by the Soulthorn. I'm... not going to be pulling the sliver back into myself. I'm keeping it separate, and yours.''\n\nHer eyes widened at that, and I was a little surprised at the pink flush that drifted through her cheeks. We were... definitely starting to differentiate ourselves already. ``You... You're keeping me alive? But... your soul... What does that... mean for you? For us?''\n\nShe'd relaxed at that point and slid closer again, but I sagged a little and shrugged. ``I imagine we'll keep sharing a body. Eventually I'll be strong enough to just take over constantly but... I won't. We can share for now, at least until I come up with a better solution. I imagine we can... freely switch too, without you having to sleep, if you're willing to do the swap.''\n\nShe searched my expression for a moment, before a little smile danced over her muzzle and she nodded. She was literally me, looking back at me and smiling... This was beyond surreal. She frowned after though, then sniffed softly at herself, with renewed curiosity. Huh? I took a couple sniffs their way myself, then flicked my ears up. Wait, what? She actually smelled...\n\n``I... smell female in here. It feels... right though. Uh... d-do you think I could be female in here? It sounds weird out loud, uh... but is that even possible?'' I blinked once, then slowly nodded.\n\n``I've been watching for a while now, actually. And I think you might... identify as a female.'' Her ears perked up at that, and I nodded to her. Unlike me, she was a mental projection of herself, though. Focusing, I projected the instructions into her mind instead. She was surprised for a moment, but then closed her eyes and focused, letting me help her along. It took her a couple of minutes, but soon she was actually aligned with what her own soul essence image should be. She looked remarkably like my body had looked before getting the reversion surgeries, with small breasts and wider hips, plus a gentler, more feminine face. One big difference, though, was she straight up had a spade this time.\n\nShe grinned, then nodded to me. ``This... It feels more like me. I'm... glad we're reverting your body. It's [i]your[/i] body, and smells like you. But this is... me. Is... Is this okay?''\n\nI relaxed again, then smiled and nodded to her. ``Of course. You being a girl is perfectly fine. Though you should really come up with a better name than `X'. Obviously, that was just spit out as the first syllable, phonically, of Exes.'' It was fascinating that their little mental-voice-to-text reader managed to spit out a prominent `X' at all, through my attempts at suppressing knowledge of my name from her. That was... dangerous new technology, I suspected.\n\nShe perked at that, titling her head before rubbing under her chin with her paw. ``Um... what's a female version of Exes? Do Inaga do that?''\n\nI nodded. ``Exia. But that's... taken...'' She perked again at that, and I... sent her all the relevant information about my... our... sister. She grinned.\n\n``Right! Our sister. And your mate...'' I lifted an eyebrow to that, but she winked to me, then flopped onto her back instead on the mattress. ``What... else could I use? What if we dropped the long e?''\n\nI slowly nodded. ``Exa? I mean, it works for me. Just tell the others when you wake up. Remi will probably be amused...'' She grinned at that, then sat up to look at me again, searching my expression.\n\n``You... You've been speaking with her, haven't you? I felt it. She... She kissed you, too! She wants to be with both of us!'' I nodded again.\n\n``So, it seems. I... think we all need therapy at this point but... If you're willing, then I'm willing too. We just... need to figure out how we're going to do this is all.''\n\nShe nodded, sliding closer to me again and causing me to lean back a bit. Uh... She took my paws in hers though, smiling softly. ``This is... your body. If you can figure out something for me, then that would be amazing but... I want you to have your body. We can share of course but only when you want to, Exes.''\n\nI relaxed a bit at that, and her smile widened. She could feel my emotions as much as I could feel hers. That... No, I definitely wanted to figure something out for her, too. But she knew that too, and grinned. Actually... Now that I thought about it...\n\nHer ears perked, curiously watching me as my mind raced. This was... There [i]was[/i] potentially an option, but we'd have to practice it a bit, I suspected. ``Would you be willing to try a few things? We might need to practice a bit...'' She nodded enthusiastically to that, and I smiled.\n\n``Of course!''\n\n[center]~ ~ ~ ~ ~[/center]\n\nExa. My name was Exa now. It felt... nice, and right. I woke up feeling happy and refreshed, despite hanging out with Exes all night and talking. He said it would count as `sleep' for my mind regardless. This body was a male but that was fine now, because it wasn't my body. I... felt assured in that now. That confusion and uncertainty had lifted. If Exes' trick worked like it did in practice, however, that wouldn't matter so much. Exes was... I'd been scared to meet him, but that felt silly now. Even though he was in a lot of pain and had been through a lot, he was still super nice to me. He even passed all the information on medicine and alchemy to me, up to moderate level. It... I wasn't quite as good at absorbing all that as he was, and it turns out, a decade of study was a lot of information...\n\nRemi stirred for a moment as I held her closer, then suddenly jerked awake, backing up a bit and widening her eyes to me. I gave a little squeak, but she paused, then sagged, flushing red as I turned the lights up again. ``Tha... Last night... happened?''\n\nI gave her a softer smile, then nodded, not trying to touch her or anything. She... was hurt like Exes was. I needed to take my time, that meant. It was... worth trying. I clicked off my choker, then nodded. ``It... did.'' It wasn't... Exes was the one that had taken our voice. Now he gave it back, to share...\n\nHer eyes widened there. ``Exes?'' Heh!\n\nI grinned, then shook my head. ``Exa, now. Exes and I... had a long talk last night while I was asleep. He helped me pick a name for myself... and accept that I was a girl. But... this is his body, so I want it to be [i]his[/i]. But... he's working on something...''\n\nRemi slowly relaxed again, smile growing on her muzzle instead as she listened. ``Workin' on somethin'? Well, he's tha Grandmaster, an' Ah heard ah genius, so...''\n\nI giggled, then nodded... then perked as he signaled me inside. ``Ah! He's ready. I'll be right back then...'' Remi tilted her head to that, but I closed my eye and let myself slide backwards into my mind. Exes caught me, just like we'd practiced, then gave my cheek a little nuzzle before turning with me and swapping places.\n\nMy eye opened up with that, and I looked around, spotting Remi watching curiously in front of me. Ah! ``Ah, me this time...''\n\nHer eyes widened again. ``Oh, yer voice dropped! Exes?''\n\nI grinned and nodded to her. ``We can swap without her needing to be unconscious now. Plus...''\n\nIt was my most complicated True Alchemy enchantment to date, and I'd set up a permanent Aether battery inside of my soulscape for it. It had taken a good four hours to fix up and make sure everything was right, and that was largely just where the True Alchemy effect synchronized with the magical interface. I initiated it, then gave a nod to Remi.\n\n``Give it a moment. I can't use it for long, though. I'm... really fatigued and can't stay out for long. Exa will have to take back over in a minute or two, but this is a test run...''\n\nRemi smirked. ``Ya got me [i]real[/i] curious now...''\n\nHer curiosity was very quickly sated as the illusionary overlay activated. Exa faded into existence next to me on the bed, with visual layering folding over her first. Then the contact layer so she could touch things, and actually feel it. Then the body heat simulation, and sound overlay so she could hear and talk. The only thing I hadn't figured out yet was a scent overlay so she could smell things and produce scents. But it was a prototype!\n\nRemi's eyes widened as Eva opened hers, then grinned. ``Eee, it works, just like the PEC like you said! I can see, hear, and even feel!''\n\nThe Illan shifted forward at that, reaching out and touching Exa's knee carefully, then widening her eyes even further as she felt along the fur there. Exa was of course, completely naked, and showing off the new spade between her legs. ``Whoa, Ah can even feel yer fur! Yer warm!''\n\nI nodded. ``Inspiration was the way the PEC created in-game avatars. I figured, why not use True Alchemy to create a magical avatar for her that could interact with the real world? And that looked like she wanted it to...''\n\nRemi flushed at that, eyes drawn down to the spade before she coughed lightly. ``Ah, r-right! Yer... ah girl then? Ah mean, Ah don't mind if... er... R-Right... Ah'm with... both o' ya...''\n\nExa grinned to her and nodded, but I tilted my head. Was there an issue? Remi fidgeted, looking between us both before coughing lightly. ``Uh... let's just talk about all that later... When Exes has more time...''\n\nThat I could nod to. ``Yeah, I should get back and rest. Take care of the body, Exa...'' She threw me a salute, before vanishing again, even as I slipped backwards and traded with her. She snuck me a lick on the cheek as she went past, too... Brat.\n\nI grinned again as my eye opened once more, and Remi wiggled in front of me. ``Um, Exa now, right?''\n\n``Yeah, back to just me for now. Exes is resting.''\n\nRemi gave a shaky nod. ``Seein' both o' ya at once kinda... sank things in ah bit.''\n\nI gave a giggle, then leaned in and gently nuzzled, then kissed her forehead, getting her to shiver against me. ``We'll have to learn to share you. Oh! Before I forget, Exes suggested something to look into...''\n\nShe paused at that, then her ears perked up as she looked back up at me. ``Oh? Something about the Cult?''\n\nI shook my head, though. ``No, Ignaus. He suggests looking into that Garkin lab that got shut down. He saw a huge expense outlet in Ignaus' comm unit connected to that lab. In particular, a slave that they were... `making' for him there. Like, six digits of coin, so it has to be something pretty important. Plus, the file name was apparently something...'' I listened for a moment, then nodded absently. ``Exes says it's cliche and amazingly stupid, but possibly worrying. Project Overlord?''\n\nRemi blinked once, then snorted and burst into laughter. ``Oh fuck! Didn't realize Ignaus was such ah giant dork... Uh, right. Somethin' that expensive is gonna make waves. Ah'll look inta it. Ah slave, probably bein' delivered from tha facility.'' I nodded again.\n\n``He thinks it's something big. And a way to, um, get back at Ignaus. And profit, he says, if they're transporting anything worth anything... Maybe contact the twins in the sewer under here, and check out the cache of Demon gear and weapons?'' Er, wait...\n\nRemi froze at that. ``Tha... [i]what[/i] under this buildin'?!'' Right... I should have led with that. And now Exes was laughing at me...\n\n", "writing_bbcode_parsed": "I was taking a huge risk.  But part of me realized that I was going to hit a dead end sooner or later on what I could find out on my own.  I sat there at my desk, feeling the memories come in from X, even as my True Alchemy sensors still functioned entirely, feeding me even more detailed information.  I experienced everything that X did, without even the slightest lag.  We shared a body, after all.

Remi.  She was complicated.  I'd clearly caught her off guard back there.  Her in-control stoic act had faltered in the face of being startled.  Especially when she failed to escape the Stasis effect.  How much of the Bloodstalker training she'd completed, I didn't know, but she'd at least seemed out of her depth there, for that split second.  It had shaken her, probably as badly as who I really was, had.  It had caused her to act... odd.  Did I actually believe the story she'd told about her mate and being abused?  Yeah... it made sense.  She'd obviously never gone to therapy over it, and instead just... shut herself off and shoved everyone away.  At least other than Vox, who'd saved her.  I didn't know the details there, but she clearly highly respected him.

But did I trust her?  I... was willing to give the attempt.  She had some serious mental issues, but seemed earnest enough.  And in the stopgap between deciding she was trustworthy, the True Alchemy `Trace' I placed on her when we shook paws would fill in the rest.  I'd never tried it out before, for lack of a reason to, but now it was getting a workout feeding me data on exactly what she was doing at every given moment.  I'd quickly started mentally parsing it and filtering out irrelevant actions, without narrowing it too much.  I wanted to know if she talked about me or not, not every time her rear itched.

Which it, and the rest of her, was doing a lot of at the moment.  I was seeing signs of acute stress reaction from her now, as she washed her face in the bathroom of the medical ward, while X tried to figure out how to make a PEC helmet pause.  I sighed, then nudged the right button in her mind, causing her to perk and hit it, then give a little celebratory paw pump into the air... and `thank' me back.  Fuck, this was... surreal.  I was literally interacting with myself.  Of course, at this point... I didn't think she was really me, now did I?

Resting my head on my desk, I sighed, curling my arms around myself.  Yet here I was, locked away as a prisoner inside my own body, nursing gaping soul wounds and barely managing basic studies while she was out there relaxing now and actually living.  Maybe... they were right.  Ever since I'd woken up after almost dying... almost every one of my thoughts had been either hateful or bitter.  Or paranoid and straining to get ahead of invisible enemies at every bend.  Fuck...

My eyes opened and I looked my paw over, right in front of my face now, feeling overwhelmed again.  Its wrought metal was covered entirely in tentacles now, and forming what vaguely was shaped like my actual paw.  This was all I was left with.  I didn't even know who I was anymore.  What I was.  After everything that happened to me, what was even left?  Who... was I?  Did I even know?  The burning sensation of the Soulthorn sliding into my stomach writhed through my memories alone, and I shuddered, closing my eyes tight again and squeezing my legs together.  They'd taken everything, and they wanted more from me.  I knew the Cult was still looking for me.  And in escaping them, I'd fallen into Nulidia and been practically torn apart.  Was it better or worse than what would have happened if they'd captured me instead?  What the fuck did they even want with me?!

``Why me?''  I'd asked myself that a lot.  I'd pitied myself.  I'd raged against those who hurt me.  I was still a little kit, injured and curled up in the corner, hating the world for what it had done to me.  But...  All I could do was keep walking forward.  Even if I was in agony on the inside and wanted to curl up and die.  I had to... pull myself together again.  With the entity's help, maybe I could...

~ ~ ~ ~ ~


I smiled, trying my best to push thanks inwards to... myself, I suppose, who'd clearly played PEC games before.  This was so weird.  Still, I sat in the practice area, feeling the ball over in front of me with the special controller gloves on.  The water finally stopped running in the bathroom, and Remi stepped out again, slowly walking my way while being careful with her leg.

She climbed up onto the bed next to me and looked me over again rather curiously.  Like she had before she'd excused herself to wash up.  I tilted my head to her, but she smiled again and grabbed the other helmet, before flopping over next to me on the pillows and turning it on.  Oh!  I gave a mental shrug and relaxed at that, side against hers, and watched as she appeared in the illusionary area instead.  All white, with just some objects to play with.

``Alright, this is just fer practice, obviously.  Toss tha ball!''  I nodded to her, then did just that, sending it her way.  She was still getting her gloves on, but bonked it back my way with her forehead instead while she did.  Hah!

I felt her grin next to me and nodded, catching the ball again and looking it over.  This was neat!  ``Hey, X.  Who do ya think you... are?''  I paused after tossing the ball back, and she caught it, watching me curiously.  Huh?

``You mean... who was I?''  My words appeared in the game this time instead, but she shook her head.

``No, who ya are now.  Separate from tha other guy...''  Oh.  Huh.

She tossed the ball back at that, and I tried my paw at bouncing it off my head and towards her too.  She caught it pretty easily with a little hop, after I sent it too high.  ``I mean...  I dunno.  I... guess I haven't really thought about it.  I like... helping people and making them feel good.  Um, e-even in a non-sexual way.  The training... is something I'm starting to see the truth of now.''  But those urges were... hard to shake.

She gave a nod to that, sending the ball back.  I managed to hop as well to catch it, testing the jump function out as she watched, looking... tranquil.  Something was off.  ``Yer... ah nice gal.  Ah can tell that much.  Ah... think Ah was wrong about ya bein' ahn injured pup under ah box, though...''

I tilted my head to that again, uncertain where she was going with that.  Gal?  I'd told everyone I was going to try being a boy, hadn't I?  I tried an under-paw toss instead, and she hopped, then spun, catching it a bit further back from me now.  ``What Ah mean is...  Yer actually pretty strong.  Fer bein' in ah completely unknown situation, yer still doin' yer best ta roll with things.  Yer... gettin' help fer yourself an' tryin' ta fix things, even though it's scary.  Yer... stronger than Ah am...''  She repeated my under-paw, gently sending the ball my way again.  I caught it, not taking my eye off her, though.

``Is... everything okay, Remi?  You seem a bit off...''  I frowned as I watched her, but she paused at that, then looked down a little before giving a small smile.

``Ah'm... ah little shaken.  Maybe... Ah saw myself in ah mirror somewhere...?''  Her tone was a bit quiet, but I had big ears and she was right next to me, so...

``You... didn't like that?''

A small widening of her smile, and she shook her head.  ``Guess... we're ah lot alike in some ways.  Partly, no...  Ah don't like myself much.  Ah always thought Ah was improvin', but...  Feels like Ah've barely even let mahself think ever since... what happened.  It's all been reactionary.  Always movin'.  Never stoppin' ta think.''  I frowned, but she gave a softer chuckle.  ``Vox has helped me so much.  But Ah never really... was big on helpin' myself.  Would rather just run away.  Guess seein' myself in... tha mirror... threw me off ah bit.  Ah'm not used ta not knowin' what Ah'm doin'...  It's not ah pleasant feelin'...''  Uh...  Her paws were actually fidgeting on the ball now.  She was... more than a little shaken, it felt like.

I wasn't entirely sure on what she meant, but I smiled and nodded anyway, tossing the ball back her way, overpaw this time.  Maybe she needed this, too?  She relaxed a little, looking me over before... frowning and shivering lightly.  Uh...?  Then she spun, and instead slammed her paw into the ball, sending it skipping off the ground and right back up at me in an instant!  I squeaked, managing to whack the ball back at her, but she hopped up, then fired it back again, just as fast as the first time!  Eh?!

``Why?  How do ya throw me off so easily?!  Why are ya so easy ta trust?!  It's sickenin'!''  I flailed, unable to respond to her as she sent a constant barrage of return shots my way while she spoke, effortlessly seemingly, unbothered by talking at all!

``It's disgustin'!  Floppin' all over myself like ah fuckin' fish!''  Whap!  I dove to the side, barely managing to hit the ball back this time, but she just spun and kicked it back my way instead, even faster!  ``It's yer fault!  Yer tha reason Ah'm feelin' so fuckin' off!  Yer like lookin' in ah mirror, but not at tha same time!''

Somehow, I managed to find out that I could initiate movements with my mind, and backflip fast enough to kick the ball back towards her!  I didn't even know why I didn't just catch it and wait, but it felt like I wasn't supposed to, now!  ``Yer not supposed ta be able ta be hurt like this!  Yer supposed ta be strong an' in-charge an' always knowin' what people want!''  Another whack, this time as she screamed, seething towards me.  I froze, only seeing her glare at me, and the ball whacked off my face instead, knocking me over and onto my rear.  It spun off to the left somewhere, and I heard the dull little `pleep' noise of it landing on the ground again.  Remi...

She glared at me for a long moment before the expression faltered, her muzzle twisting up lightly.  I reached up and hit the pause button, and the display vanished, as I turned and looked over at her next to me instead.  ``Remi...''

She didn't look at my screen though, instead slowly sliding off the display, cheeks red, yet tears sliding down them now.  I didn't...  I couldn't really understand what was wrong, but...  My paw touched hers, and she gave a jerk, but didn't move.  Even as I just slid over and wrapped my arms around her in a little hug.  I didn't... know what else I could do for her.  Then I widened my eye as she pushed up against my neck instead, shivering there.

She was crying outright now, paw balling-up the fabric of my tunic as she pressed into me.  There was something primal about it, with it feeling like she wanted a... baseline emotional contact for the moment.  Just to be hugged there and let it out.  She pushed back though, easing me into the pillows instead before just settling partly onto my side, head pressed into my shoulder instead.

She shakily grabbed my arm and gave it a squeeze as she did, then gave a weak chuckle as she put it over her and got me to hold her to my side.  ``Ah... hate bein' vulnerable.  Ever since...''  I nodded, that time knowing where she was going with it, and she exhaled, sagging against me again.  ``Ah try my hardest not ta ever be vulnerable again.  But...  Ah think yer tha same way.  Both o' ya.''  My ears perked up at that, and... I felt him suddenly paying more attention too.

She looked up at me, eyes still watery, and shook her head.  ``Yer tha same way.  It's just... natural, ain't it?  Ya get hurt an'... fall back.  Shy away.  Burned, an' then scared o' tha fire.  Take precautions ta avoid it.  Put on ah brave face an' act tough...''  Slowly, I nodded.  He agreed too.  It was... just natural.  We were all animals after all.  He... had been gravely injured too, and retreated fully inside himself to avoid the pain and damage.  I... was the result of that.  In a way, he was sparing me from the pain of what happened to us.  He held that all in himself.  I wasn't... afraid of him anymore.  I looked up to him.  Myself.  Which was... weird but... true, all the same.

Her expression softened at that.  ``But yer different too.  Ya...  Yer still tryin'.  Ya already started makin' plans ta move on.  Fix things.  Let people in again an' not run away anymore.  Maybe...  Maybe Ah wanna be that way, too?''

``Why can't you be?''  I tilted my head as I typed it, and she paused, searching my expression before just chuckling softly.

``An' ya ask that, without even hesitatin'.  Tha other you...  Yer tha same.  Yer both stronger than me.  That... pisses me off, but... that's not yer fault.  No, if...  If anythin', Ah can... learn from ya.''  She looked up at me again with that, and my ears flicked lightly.  Another pause, and she hesitated.  ``Or... maybe just... pretend fer ah bit?  Ah little break fer tha soul an' all?  Guilty pleasure... an' maybe borrow yer strength...  Fleeting connection fer ah similar soul?''  Similar soul?

She shifted to rambling as she stared at me, and I started to tilt my head again.  She... took advantage of that movement to tilt hers the other way instead, then lean forward and push her muzzle into my own.  My eye shot open to full size, even as she shuddered and pushed into me, sliding more over my chest instead of my side.

It... wasn't like my prior kisses.  She was urgent and needy but... not in a sexual way.  In a desperate, hungry way, for contact itself.  I relaxed, melting back into it with her and pulled her closer, holding her to my chest and ignoring any... side effects she caused...  Boys really did react to the slightest provocation, didn't they?  Her arms slipped over my shoulders, and she was mindful of my bandages as her kiss finally... softened.  She shuddered, then moaned into it as my paw stroked her cheek, just gently rubbing in circles through her fur.

Slowly, she backed up again, entire face red now.  I just let her ease back, moving my paws to rubbing her sides and back instead.  If... I had something I could provide that she needed, I was more than happy to give it to her.  She wasn't trying to hide her expressions or keep her emotions in check anymore, I realized, as she started to cry again, then dove in for another kiss instead.  Pretend, huh?  I wondered what she was pretending about.

I slid back, getting more comfortable against the blankets as she desperately pushed the PEC helmets away from us, moving fully on top of me while carefully sliding her legs around my bandaged groin.  A deeper kiss, and I let her tongue slide into my muzzle.  She groaned, shuddering against me as I rubbed her sides and back.  Just... let it all out.  She was starving and hadn't just... let herself feel anything for a very long time.  I understood that now, I think.

She eased back again, watery eyes still locked with my own singular one.  My paw brushed her cheek, and I leaned forward instead and gave her forehead a little peck.  She sagged against me, then pushed forward again, using her paws to pull my head down to hers.  A softer touch this time, and she sighed into a groan against my muzzle.  It changed.  Now she was kissing me instead of just feeling.  Maybe I should have seen this coming.  Maybe I should have stopped her.  But I didn't.  To be honest... she felt good back.  That sensation of just sharing intimacy with someone, even if it was pretend.

Was it pretend?  Her facade was in tatters now, and still, this time she pulled me into her mouth, groaning as she stroked my tongue with her own.  Keeping herself pressed up as tight to my chest as she could without injuring me further.  But I persisted, paws keeping to only the safest spots on her, massaging and stroking and just letting her lead.  It became lazy after a while, just suckling her tongue and tugging back and forth.  

Finally, she eased back, giving a long sigh and just watching me with lidded eyes, cheeks flushed.  I felt the heat in my own, but cleared my head and gave her a smile instead again, coupled with another hug.  She shivered, searching my expression before just snuggling up and tucking her head under my chin.  I didn't... really know what to say to her after that, but she was clearly a lot more content than she had been.  Which I was happy for.

``Yer... safe.''  Huh?  My eye opened again, and I looked down at her, but she stayed snug against my neck.  ``That's why yer so disarmin'.  Ah just... figured it out.  Yer ah lot like me.  An' yer... ah good person.  Ah can feel it.  In every little thing ya do.  Even... just givin' me that attention ah... asked for.''

I relaxed again and rested my head on top of hers, getting another shiver.  She turned just a little, letting the bridge of her muzzle tuck along the curve of my neck and jaw.  She gave a shaky exhale, like she'd just inhaled a part of me and used it to breath, and found she liked it.  ``Yer safe.  Yer tha first person ah've ever met, like me... but that also...  Let's me feel safe...''  I think that sounded like a good thing.

A smile.  Uh oh.  ``Vox an' Meria... want ya ta stay with them.  Ah know that's... probably not gonna happen but...  If ya did...''  Another soft nuzzle, and she shivered from her own touch against me.  ``Ah think Ah'd probably end up fallin' fer ya.  Ah can feel it...''  Oh.  Inside me became... quiet at that.  My paws rubbed her fur gently, and she shivered again, giving a soft lick to my neck.  Remi...

She sat upright, as suddenly as this all began, and looked directly down at me from my chest.  Eh?!  She looked... a little crazed suddenly.  ``Or...  Or Ah'll just run away again.  Or... face what Ah ran away from all along.  Go with ya instead.  Once...  Once Vox saves up enough, he ain't gonna need me anymore.  Ah... always knew that.  Eventually it would be... goodbye.  But maybe...  Maybe there's ah reason fer that.  Ah don't have ta be alone anymore if...''

She shivered, eyes starting to water again as she looked down at me.  She winced, then started to slide off me until I stopped her, and pulled her back down instead.  I kissed her this time, and she shuddered, sinking against me, even as her tears hit my own cheeks instead.  But I just held her there on my chest, rubbing her sides.  I didn't want her to hurt...  But... I also liked her company as well.  Falling for me...?  Would that really be a bad thing, if it meant I fell for her too?

We broke the kiss again, and her eyes opened softly down towards me, cheeks flushed once more.  Gently, that coy smirk shifted back onto her muzzle.  ``Mmm, or... maybe yer not gonna give me any choice in tha matter.  But...''  She paused, then relaxed into a softer smile and tucked under my chin again.  ``...but it's worth it if... ah can feel safe an' free again.''  Mmm, that much I could agree with for sure.

I snuggled against her, then felt her tuck her tail up until she hooked the blankets and pulled them around us.  Mmm, right.  It was... late now.  I rotated onto my side, setting her down with me as her tail whacked the buttons on the wall a couple times until the lights dimmed.  This was...  She gave me another soft kiss, drawing me against her until we were snuggling again, and I just rested there, letting myself enjoy her touch until I drifted away again...

~ ~ ~ ~ ~


Fuuuuuuuuuuck.  My eye opened, glowing blue light bathing us both in the dark.  Her resting expression shifted to a smirk a second later, and her eyes opened to look up into my glowing one.  ``Really...?!''  I had to ask her.  There were no other words available.

She snorted, then gave a giggle against me.  ``Really.  But... Ah meant what Ah said.  An' ta you, too.''  She... what?  Both of us?!  I frowned, but she snuggled into me again, undeterred by the radiant eldritch marking on my chest.  Then she leaned up and kissed me again instead.  My eye widened a little, but I relaxed a second later.  X... was right to a degree.  After so long, and being in nothing but misery...  I felt... filthy.  But at the same time, everything around me was covered in filth too.  Was it a relationship if we were both using each other equally?  Pretty sure even X was guilty of that now...

I kissed her back.  Again, in a way.  She shivered, keeping herself close against me, as her arms slid over my shoulders.  It was nice.  No, I did understand her.  Being with someone who made you feel safe and secure, especially when those things were desperately missing from your life normally...  We were both wounded animals, hiding under the same cardboard box, taking shelter from the rain and curled against each other.  Not... probably the healthiest balance for a relationship but...  Fuck, what did it even matter?  Compared to everything else I was dealing with...  

She pulled back, string of saliva connecting us, before smiling again.  ``Mmm, ya make me feel safe too, Exes.  Ah... know ya have mates already, but...  What... if Ah did run away with ya?  Once ya get past this.  When ya get... back ta yer life.  Could...  Could Ah come too?  Ah know it sounds crazy!  Ah just met ya but...''

My thumb brushed her cheek, and she shivered, searching my expression again.  ``Yeah, but we're both crazy, aren't we?  It...  It's complicated, but it's always complicated.  I... have trust issues, Remi.  I know you do, too.  Are you really sure this is... what you want?  If you need me to... provide something for you, just say so.  You don't have to commit to something crazy...''

A smirk at that.  ``Always givin'.  What about what you want, hmm?  Ah... think Ah understand ya now, though.  But... that's just... makin' me feel more adamant in tha crazy option...''  Well, that was troubling.

``No matter how crazy it is, or how not normal I am...?''  She nodded enthusiastically of course.

``O' course!  That... kinda makes it even more interestin'...''  Of course.

I sighed, then wiggled my nose softly.  ``Even if I may not be entirely... an Inaga?  What if I were, say, an eldritch entity from outside the veil of our realm, possessing a strange soul... disease of sorts that's highly contagious and spreads through my blood and sexual fluids, which pulls your soul into my own and enslaves you to me as if you were wearing a collar?''  I lifted an eyebrow to her at that, and she frowned, looking a little confused.

``Yer... what?  Uh... okay, Ah think tha important bits outta that were enslavin' me with yer... sexual fluids or blood?''  I nodded.

``Yes.  I... don't fully know how to control it yet, but I can't make it not contagious yet.  Atir and Callia are in the psyche ward in the Agency thanks to it.''

Her eyes widened a little at that.  ``Right, they... uh... abused ya.  Psyche ward?  Ah thought ya said...''  I averted my eye at that, and she paused, searching my expression before her own softened, and she slowly grinned instead.  ``Ooooooh.  No, no...  Actually, Ah fully applaud.  If those fucks deserve anythin', it's actually somethin' far worse than that.''

I exhaled, sagging back against the pillows again.  ``You're handling that admittedly well.  Better than earlier...''

Her muzzle scrunched this time.  ``Ya... grabbed me an' Ah couldn't get away...  That... freaked me out...''

I winced.  ``I... sorry.  I didn't mean-``

She interrupted me with a nuzzle, however.  ``Then ya let me go without any fuss, an' were nice ta me, just like that.  Kinda turned me on...''  Uh...

She winked, and I coughed.  ``Uh, sexual fluids?''  That she laughed at, at least.

``Psssh.  Boys.  Always thinkin' about sex.''

``You started it!''  A grin to that.

She slowly nodded though.  ``Ah'm nothin' if not recklessly impulsive, though.  So yeah.  Ah hope ya don't mind, but Ah think Ah'm... just gonna dive fer it an' try livin' fer once.  Hope ya don't mind bein' `hunted'...''  She leaned in again and gave a nuzzle along my neck, and I sighed.  This... wasn't what I was expecting at all.  It might be an incredibly elaborate scheme to gain my trust but that seemed... downright bizarre at this point.  No, if anything, I think I'd blundered into some unstable mental issues of hers... which actually made a lot of sense, if I'd triggered something in her when she panicked.

But she'd... already gotten me thinking about things.  Things I maybe didn't want to think about.  I didn't even know now.  ``I... do have mates.  I think, anyway.  My last memories of them weren't the greatest and I have no idea where they are now, or what they're doing, or who they're with.  Maybe I don't have mates anymore?  But it... doesn't matter.  I mean, if I wanted to be with you too, I don't think anyone in Aion would really tell me no at this point...''  I rested against the top of her head and just enjoyed her touch.  She shuddered against me, then slowly nodded.  I wasn't sure of myself really.  I didn't know what to do next or where to go to escape Nulidia.  I suspected Remi could quite easily help me do just that but... I didn't want to hurt her or take advantage of her either.  So, I wasn't about to ask.  Not yet, anyway.  Plus, a part of me wanted to stand on my own.

She was right.  I was sick of being vulnerable.  Having to rely on others for my own safety, then constantly being hurt anyway.  I...  A part of me was bitter.  Feeling let down and abandoned.  A part of me was hurt and lashing out like an animal.  Atir felt that one.  Maybe they'd stayed with Exir.  Maybe they'd moved on.  What the fuck did I care?  That was almost a year ago now, and...  I was...  But someone to be with who was... there, and I didn't have to worry was going to hurt me was...

My paws tightened against her fur, shivering a bit.  She... didn't seem to mind, and only gave me a nuzzle.  This was a pretty fucked up relationship, if it went that way, but maybe it was what we both needed?  I forced them to relax against her and nodded, feeling her give my fur a lick.  ``Alright.  If this is what you really want, I'm not going to stop you.  But...''  Her eyes opened up at me again, waiting.  ``First, you have to let me try to figure out this infection thing.''

Slowly, she nodded again.  ``Ah... wouldn't mind tha delay before sex anyway...  It's... ah touchy... matter fer me.  Pun not intended...''

I nodded easily to that.  ``For me too.  So... it works out for both of us.  But two...  You have to go to therapy with me.''

That she froze at for a moment, eyes widening a little.  I just watched her however, and she sagged, relaxing again after another pause.  ``Ah...  Yer probably right.  If... yer there with me, okay.  Ah'll try...''  She was a little pup too, running and hiding against me for safety.  But I was the same way, so I couldn't judge.

I nodded, then rested against her again and re-sealed the Keyhole.  ``Alright.  Then let's just see what tomorrow brings...''  I felt her smile against my fur and nod, tucking herself up into me.  I... couldn't hog her either, though.  From myself?  I sank back down after another moment, and let X spend the night snuggling her, instead.  I...  Being jealous of yourself was... weird...

~ ~ ~ ~ ~


We... needed this.  In part, I realized that X was a big security hole in myself.  In another, we were sharing one body and communication was clearly of essence.  Especially if things had taken a turn into the even weirder, and we were now going to be intimate with the same female... who was distinctly aware of, and liked, both of us.  So, if anything, this was Remi's fault.  I'd tell that to her later, of course.

The more I considered X, the more things actually made more sense, if nothing else.  Soulthorn had torn my soul into ribbons, barely even connected to each other.  It took a bit of... searching, but I found her.  Actually found her, in my soulscape.  That... cemented things for me.  She was real.  This was real and happening.  After I'd retreated and they tried to re-initialize my soul, basically, they instead managed to get one of the hanging slivers of it.  X was right there, growing the sliver out into her own personal self.

I'm pretty sure the Keyhole entity had been amused when I sent the instructions to not bind that sliver back into me, and instead fill out where it had been missing and let it be.  I didn't know what would happen, but... I wasn't about to destroy X.  Not like what almost happened to me.  I couldn't.  So... it was time for a talk.

It was effortless to relocate her soul representation into the little house I'd carved for myself.  Same way I had with the others.  Of course, she wasn't strung up by tentacles sliding through her at odd angles, and frozen in place like a statue.  She was like me, and seemed asleep more than anything.  Well, sort of like me.

She didn't have enough of a soul sliver to actually dream.  I imagine whenever she rested, it was just empty darkness.  But now...  I touched my eldritch paw against her chest, and she shivered there, pulsing with energy as I nudged her consciousness into this instead.  Her first experience in dreaming was about to get very, very weird.

X's eyes opened up.  My own blue eyes staring back at me.  Here, they were whole.  No bandages or anything covering them.  They gave a jerk, eyes widening fully at that, then edging away from me on the bed instead.  I'd expected that, given I looked like a mashup of mechanical and tentacles.  Really had me questioning exactly what I was... but that was for another time.

``X.  Sorry about the abruptness of all of this, but... I felt we had to talk about things.''

She froze there, staring at me.  It felt like she recognized my voice... or me to a certain degree beyond that, through our connection.  ``E-Exes...?  You're...''  She perked a second later, then felt her own throat.  She'd just spoken for the first time, without the aid of the projection device.

I nodded.  ``This is... inside us.  Our soulscape.  Well, my portion of it.  I found you inside of me.  You're a sliver of my own soul that was fragmented partly off me when we...  Well, when we were hit by the Soulthorn.  I'm... not going to be pulling the sliver back into myself.  I'm keeping it separate, and yours.''

Her eyes widened at that, and I was a little surprised at the pink flush that drifted through her cheeks.  We were... definitely starting to differentiate ourselves already.  ``You...  You're keeping me alive?  But... your soul...  What does that... mean for you?  For us?''

She'd relaxed at that point and slid closer again, but I sagged a little and shrugged.  ``I imagine we'll keep sharing a body.  Eventually I'll be strong enough to just take over constantly but...  I won't.  We can share for now, at least until I come up with a better solution.  I imagine we can... freely switch too, without you having to sleep, if you're willing to do the swap.''

She searched my expression for a moment, before a little smile danced over her muzzle and she nodded.  She was literally me, looking back at me and smiling...  This was beyond surreal.  She frowned after though, then sniffed softly at herself, with renewed curiosity.  Huh?  I took a couple sniffs their way myself, then flicked my ears up.  Wait, what?  She actually smelled...

``I... smell female in here.  It feels... right though.  Uh... d-do you think I could be female in here?  It sounds weird out loud, uh... but is that even possible?''  I blinked once, then slowly nodded.

``I've been watching for a while now, actually.  And I think you might... identify as a female.''  Her ears perked up at that, and I nodded to her.  Unlike me, she was a mental projection of herself, though.  Focusing, I projected the instructions into her mind instead.  She was surprised for a moment, but then closed her eyes and focused, letting me help her along.  It took her a couple of minutes, but soon she was actually aligned with what her own soul essence image should be.  She looked remarkably like my body had looked before getting the reversion surgeries, with small breasts and wider hips, plus a gentler, more feminine face.  One big difference, though, was she straight up had a spade this time.

She grinned, then nodded to me.  ``This...  It feels more like me.  I'm... glad we're reverting your body.  It's your body, and smells like you.  But this is... me.  Is...  Is this okay?''

I relaxed again, then smiled and nodded to her.  ``Of course.  You being a girl is perfectly fine.  Though you should really come up with a better name than `X'.  Obviously, that was just spit out as the first syllable, phonically, of Exes.''  It was fascinating that their little mental-voice-to-text reader managed to spit out a prominent `X' at all, through my attempts at suppressing knowledge of my name from her.  That was... dangerous new technology, I suspected.

She perked at that, titling her head before rubbing under her chin with her paw.  ``Um... what's a female version of Exes?  Do Inaga do that?''

I nodded.  ``Exia.  But that's... taken...''  She perked again at that, and I... sent her all the relevant information about my... our... sister.  She grinned.

``Right!  Our sister.  And your mate...''  I lifted an eyebrow to that, but she winked to me, then flopped onto her back instead on the mattress.  ``What... else could I use?  What if we dropped the long e?''

I slowly nodded.  ``Exa?  I mean, it works for me.  Just tell the others when you wake up.  Remi will probably be amused...''  She grinned at that, then sat up to look at me again, searching my expression.

``You...  You've been speaking with her, haven't you?  I felt it.  She...  She kissed you, too!  She wants to be with both of us!''  I nodded again.

``So, it seems.  I... think we all need therapy at this point but...  If you're willing, then I'm willing too.  We just... need to figure out how we're going to do this is all.''

She nodded, sliding closer to me again and causing me to lean back a bit.  Uh...  She took my paws in hers though, smiling softly.  ``This is... your body.  If you can figure out something for me, then that would be amazing but... I want you to have your body.  We can share of course but only when you want to, Exes.''

I relaxed a bit at that, and her smile widened.  She could feel my emotions as much as I could feel hers.  That...  No, I definitely wanted to figure something out for her, too.  But she knew that too, and grinned.  Actually...  Now that I thought about it...

Her ears perked, curiously watching me as my mind raced.  This was...  There was potentially an option, but we'd have to practice it a bit, I suspected.  ``Would you be willing to try a few things?  We might need to practice a bit...''  She nodded enthusiastically to that, and I smiled.

``Of course!''

~ ~ ~ ~ ~


Exa.  My name was Exa now.  It felt... nice, and right.  I woke up feeling happy and refreshed, despite hanging out with Exes all night and talking.  He said it would count as `sleep' for my mind regardless.  This body was a male but that was fine now, because it wasn't my body.  I... felt assured in that now.  That confusion and uncertainty had lifted.  If Exes' trick worked like it did in practice, however, that wouldn't matter so much.  Exes was...  I'd been scared to meet him, but that felt silly now.  Even though he was in a lot of pain and had been through a lot, he was still super nice to me.  He even passed all the information on medicine and alchemy to me, up to moderate level.  It...  I wasn't quite as good at absorbing all that as he was, and it turns out, a decade of study was a lot of information...

Remi stirred for a moment as I held her closer, then suddenly jerked awake, backing up a bit and widening her eyes to me.  I gave a little squeak, but she paused, then sagged, flushing red as I turned the lights up again.  ``Tha...  Last night... happened?''

I gave her a softer smile, then nodded, not trying to touch her or anything.  She... was hurt like Exes was.  I needed to take my time, that meant.  It was... worth trying.  I clicked off my choker, then nodded.  ``It... did.''  It wasn't...  Exes was the one that had taken our voice.  Now he gave it back, to share...

Her eyes widened there.  ``Exes?''  Heh!

I grinned, then shook my head.  ``Exa, now.  Exes and I... had a long talk last night while I was asleep.  He helped me pick a name for myself... and accept that I was a girl.  But... this is his body, so I want it to be his.  But... he's working on something...''

Remi slowly relaxed again, smile growing on her muzzle instead as she listened.  ``Workin' on somethin'?  Well, he's tha Grandmaster, an' Ah heard ah genius, so...''

I giggled, then nodded... then perked as he signaled me inside.  ``Ah!  He's ready.  I'll be right back then...''  Remi tilted her head to that, but I closed my eye and let myself slide backwards into my mind.  Exes caught me, just like we'd practiced, then gave my cheek a little nuzzle before turning with me and swapping places.

My eye opened up with that, and I looked around, spotting Remi watching curiously in front of me.  Ah!  ``Ah, me this time...''

Her eyes widened again.  ``Oh, yer voice dropped!  Exes?''

I grinned and nodded to her.  ``We can swap without her needing to be unconscious now.  Plus...''

It was my most complicated True Alchemy enchantment to date, and I'd set up a permanent Aether battery inside of my soulscape for it.  It had taken a good four hours to fix up and make sure everything was right, and that was largely just where the True Alchemy effect synchronized with the magical interface.  I initiated it, then gave a nod to Remi.

``Give it a moment.  I can't use it for long, though.  I'm... really fatigued and can't stay out for long.  Exa will have to take back over in a minute or two, but this is a test run...''

Remi smirked.  ``Ya got me real curious now...''

Her curiosity was very quickly sated as the illusionary overlay activated.  Exa faded into existence next to me on the bed, with visual layering folding over her first.  Then the contact layer so she could touch things, and actually feel it.  Then the body heat simulation, and sound overlay so she could hear and talk.  The only thing I hadn't figured out yet was a scent overlay so she could smell things and produce scents.  But it was a prototype!

Remi's eyes widened as Eva opened hers, then grinned.  ``Eee, it works, just like the PEC like you said!  I can see, hear, and even feel!''

The Illan shifted forward at that, reaching out and touching Exa's knee carefully, then widening her eyes even further as she felt along the fur there.  Exa was of course, completely naked, and showing off the new spade between her legs.  ``Whoa, Ah can even feel yer fur!  Yer warm!''

I nodded.  ``Inspiration was the way the PEC created in-game avatars.  I figured, why not use True Alchemy to create a magical avatar for her that could interact with the real world?  And that looked like she wanted it to...''

Remi flushed at that, eyes drawn down to the spade before she coughed lightly.  ``Ah, r-right!  Yer... ah girl then?  Ah mean, Ah don't mind if... er...  R-Right...  Ah'm with... both o' ya...''

Exa grinned to her and nodded, but I tilted my head.  Was there an issue?  Remi fidgeted, looking between us both before coughing lightly.  ``Uh... let's just talk about all that later...  When Exes has more time...''

That I could nod to.  ``Yeah, I should get back and rest.  Take care of the body, Exa...''  She threw me a salute, before vanishing again, even as I slipped backwards and traded with her.  She snuck me a lick on the cheek as she went past, too...  Brat.

I grinned again as my eye opened once more, and Remi wiggled in front of me.  ``Um, Exa now, right?''

``Yeah, back to just me for now.  Exes is resting.''

Remi gave a shaky nod.  ``Seein' both o' ya at once kinda... sank things in ah bit.''

I gave a giggle, then leaned in and gently nuzzled, then kissed her forehead, getting her to shiver against me.  ``We'll have to learn to share you.  Oh!  Before I forget, Exes suggested something to look into...''

She paused at that, then her ears perked up as she looked back up at me.  ``Oh?  Something about the Cult?''

I shook my head, though.  ``No, Ignaus.  He suggests looking into that Garkin lab that got shut down.  He saw a huge expense outlet in Ignaus' comm unit connected to that lab.  In particular, a slave that they were... `making' for him there.  Like, six digits of coin, so it has to be something pretty important.  Plus, the file name was apparently something...''  I listened for a moment, then nodded absently.  ``Exes says it's cliche and amazingly stupid, but possibly worrying.  Project Overlord?''

Remi blinked once, then snorted and burst into laughter.  ``Oh fuck!  Didn't realize Ignaus was such ah giant dork...  Uh, right.  Somethin' that expensive is gonna make waves.  Ah'll look inta it.  Ah slave, probably bein' delivered from tha facility.''  I nodded again.

``He thinks it's something big.  And a way to, um, get back at Ignaus.  And profit, he says, if they're transporting anything worth anything...  Maybe contact the twins in the sewer under here, and check out the cache of Demon gear and weapons?''  Er, wait...

Remi froze at that.  ``Tha... what under this buildin'?!''  Right... I should have led with that.  And now Exes was laughing at me...

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