Through Death There Is Freedom by Kinto Mythostian "She stole my credit card and used it to watch one of her friends be eviscerated. Then she spent $200 voting to have another friend roasted on a spit!" "She was expelled from ballet class after asking the other students which one of them was going to be hanged." Dr. Gordon listened carefully, not saying anything, occasionally making a note with his pen. "It's just... she's so..." "We just... we want her to be happy..." "How can we help her?" The stoat looked with concern at the couple sitting across from him: Hetessa and Kol, a margay and a sable antelope. Like so many mixed-species couples they had turned to adoption to compensate for their mutual reproductive incompatibility. And like many of an especially charitable bent, they had purchased, freed, and adopted a slave child: a young wolfess named Sami. "We're worried she's going to try to...well... We're afraid to leave her alone," Kol's long curved horns bobbed as he gestured. The stoat nodded understandingly, "Oh, you needn't worry about that. Your daughter's not suicidal; far from it. It's never been for her to decide when she is snuffed." Hetessa flinched at the word, her spotted fur rippling. Dr. Gordon cleared his throat and continued, "That right belongs to her masters alone. The greater concern is that, in Sami's mind, she feels you do not value her." "But-How could she think that?" "She means the world to us!" "It's not what she thinks, it's what she feels. She is not psychologically equipped to deal with nurturing owners who genuinely care for her well-being in body and mind. On some level, Sami does recognize that you care for her, that you value her. But she doesn't understand it. She doesn't /believe/ it." "I'm not sure I understand." "Let me explain. You knew adopting a former slave to raise would present challenges. That would be the case with any slave. But you adopted a snuff slave, and they are... unique. Sami was raised her entire life to desire her own death. Conditioned to it. To be ready and willing to be snuffed was to have worth. Everything in her life was done in mind with the ultimate goal of dying as perfectly as possible. It was her dream, her fantasy, her moment to shine. And by buying her out of that existence you have given your daughter life, and freedom, and a future - and that is commendable," the stoat hastened to add, "But you have also taken away the only purpose she has ever had, and the only way to measure her own worth she has ever known. When she was rejected and sold by her owners, she was robbed of the fantasy she yearned for. She interpreted it subconsciously as a message that she was worthless. She does not feel valued." "So... what you're saying is," Kol probed, trying hard to understand, "because we don't want to... murder... her, she feels that we think she is worthless?" "This is somewhat an oversimplification, but broadly speaking, yes." "The poor cub," Hetessa whispered, her eyes shimmering. She held her mate's hand with both her own. "Is there anything we can do?" "The conditioning used to produce compliant snuff slaves can be very intractable. There is something that might work, but I must warn you it is rather extreme, and even then I cannot promise you it will work at all." Kol looked to his wife and met her eyes. She nodded. "We'll do anything." "Then you must show her what she is worth to you." -- In her pink bedroom at the top of the stairs the young sandy-furred wolfess was already wide awake. She had been lying in bed awake for more than an hour now. No one had called for her. It had taken Hetessa and Kol a month to realize that she would never leave her room in the morning - would not even get out of bed - unless commanded to do so. Sami was starting to wonder if they had forgotten. The wolfess's room was where she felt most comfortable, where she could retreat and stay out of the way until summoned like she had been trained, though unlike her former home she didn't have to share these quarters with anyone. Her eyes went to the desk by her window, where the computer Hetessa and Kol had given her had been - and then had been taken away a week later. Along the far wall was her dresser, where she had stashed knives in the bottom of her underwear drawer until they too had been taken away. At least the plastic bag under her mattress was still safe, but it was probably only a matter of time before that too was discovered and taken away. If they ever did decide to treat her the way she was meant to be there wouldn't be anything left in her room to do it with. Sami's eyes came to rest again on the window. She had been scolded multiple times for tying the cords for the shades into tiny nooses. Scolded. They wouldn't even punish her properly. Stealing Kol's card had warranted nothing more than a stern talking-to. What kind of way to treat flagrant disobedience was that? Outside, the sun was well up and it looked like a wonderful day, but Sami was determined not to leave her quarters without prodding. Hetessa and Kol insisted on treating her like a free citizen, a daughter. Sami had no interest in playing along. Sami rebelled against this charade of theirs by adhering to her training of strict obedience. A knock at the door interrupted her thoughts, which had strayed to a wonderful fantasy about truly having been completely forgotten and starving to death. "Sami, are you awake? May we come in?" Hetessa's voice carried through the door. Sami still could not understand why Hetessa and Kol felt it necessary to ask. They had bought and paid for her; they owned her. They had taken away her collar and told her she was free, but they owned her. "Yes, Hetessa," she responded with a cheerfulness that carried as much warmth as a two-day-old bowl of soup. The door opened and the sandy-furred wolfess slipped out of bed to stand to attention in her pink peignoir, the hardwood floor chill against her bare pawpads. Hetessa was wearing a modest knee-length black dress, her spotted arms bare. Kol wore black slacks above his bare cloven hooves, a starched white shirt, and a black necktie. It was far more formal than their typical morning wear. Sami was perplexed by this break in the pattern, but she disguised her puzzlement as she bowed her head deferentially and greeted them, "Good morning, Hetessa. Good morning, Kol." Hetessa winced slightly. Breaking Sami out of the habit of calling them "Master" had only taken a week, but "Mom" and "Dad" were regrettably still beyond her vocabulary. "Good morning, sweetheart," Hetessa bent down to give the impassive wolfess a hug. Sami accepted the hug but did not return it with anything more than a perfunctory mimicry, like always. Her eyes were drawn to the parcel Kol was carrying, a flat box nearly as large as herself, wrapped in silver paper and tied with a pink bow. "What's that, Kol?" "You didn't think we'd forget your birthday, did you?" the sable antelope said brightly. His white shirt and black tie made a striking effect in combination with the black-and-white patterns of his hide. Sami furrowed her brow. "Haven't you ever gotten a birthday present before?" "No, Kol," Sami said, shaking her head once. She hadn't even known today was her birthday. "You poor dear!" Hetessa exclaimed. Sami braced in anticipation of another pity hug and was relieved when Hetessa refrained. Instead the margay took the box from her mate and set it atop Sami's bed. "Well, in families," Hetessa emphasized the word, "it's traditional to give gifts on birthdays. This is for you, Sami." Sami looked uncertainly at the box. Her attempt to feign disinterest was thoroughly unsuccessful; she was dreadfully curious to know what was inside. "Go ahead. Open it," Kol encouraged. Permission granted, Sami set to it. The wolfess untied the bow with ease - she was skilled at knots of all kinds - and slashed the silver paper open with her claws to reveal the white box within. Her hands trembling, she lifted the stiff cardboard lid and let out a shocked gasp of genuine joy. Nestled snugly within a bed of pink tissue paper was a stunning vision of white silk, an elaborate confection of taffeta and lace; a dress. Sami was stupefied. "This..." the wolfess looked from the immaculate dress to Hetessa and Kol, "is for me?" "Do you like it?" "It's beautiful!" she cried, "Can I try it on?" She looked up at them, smiling from ear to ear, her lupine tail wagging gleefully. "Yes-AFTER you take your bath," Hetessa hastened to add. "Okay!" Sami dashed past them into the bathroom. Within seconds they could hear the tub filling. "Well, that went better than expected..." Kol said, still basking in the warmth of Sami's joyful reaction. Hetessa smiled. "You go finish getting brunch made. I'll bring Sami down when she's ready..." she trailed off. Kol gave his mate a gentle kiss on the cheek. "We're doing the right thing." "I hope so. I really hope so." The tub was nearly full when Hetessa joined Sami in the bathroom, and Sami submitted to Hetessa's ministrations as the margay took charge of bathing her adopted daughter. Hetessa was exceedingly thorough, taking her time to work the shampoo into a deep lather through the wolfess's tan fur, scrubbing right down to the skin. Every inch of Sami's body, every little nook and cranny, was subjected to methodical cleansing. Sami was anxious to be done as soon as possible, and though she fussed and pouted, she couldn't completely conceal from Hetessa how much she enjoyed the lavish attention. Though she would never admit it, it reminded Sami fondly of the treatment she had received from the slavewranglers at her former home, where she was every day treated like a valuable asset. Thoroughly rinsed and out of the tub, Sami fidgeted constantly as Hetessa toweled, blew, and brushed her fur, the margay refusing to release her daughter until she was completely satisfied she was totally dry. The last dregs of sudsy water were still draining from the tub when Hetessa released Sami. The wolfess dashed back to her bedroom, leaving a track of damp pawprints on the hardwood, and stopped short of the bed. The dress was still right where she left it. Sami reached out with one hand to touch it, hardly daring to believe it was real. Even still she couldn't be sure she wasn't dreaming the whole thing. "Are you ready?" Hetessa asked quietly from somewhere behind her. Sami could not tear her eyes away from her wonderful new dress. She nodded mutely and ran her fingers across the organza. "Here. Let me." Hetessa's spotted arm reached past her. She lifted the dress from the box by its padded satin coat hanger. Sami's eyes followed her as she carried it across the room to hang it from the closet door handle. "But-" Sami started, but Hetessa was already coming back towards her, emptyhanded. The margay reached towards the box again and the wolfess's eyes followed. For the first time, Sami realized that there was more than she had ever dared to hope. The box held not just the dress, but an entire outfit. Hetessa withdrew a pair of lace-trimmed white silk panties and knelt before the wolfess. "Paws," she ordered. Sami understood. She lifted first one paw and then the other, allowing Hetessa to slip the panties onto her legs. The margay shimmied the silk into place around the young wolfess's groin and fastened the pair of mother-of-pearl buttons that secured the rear clasp around her tail. In material and fashion they were quite unlike anything Sami had worn before, elegant and mature; appropriate for a proper sophisticated lady, no longer a cub. The textile fit tightly around her waist, compressing snugly around her hips and conforming seamlessly to her contours. They continued in this fashion, with Hetessa handling the clothes and Sami moving precisely as directed. She was more than capable of dressing herself, but to be treated this way by Hetessa, like a life-size doll, was such a wonderful feeling. It made Sami feel like a precious object, like the most valuable treasure in the world. The wolfess sighed happily as each new garment was fitted precisely into place on her delicate frame. Hetessa, for her part, felt a closer bond to her adopted daughter than she ever had before. It was a very intimate act, and it warmed her heart to feel the complete trust in every movement of Sami's body. Neither of them were in any hurry and took their time to make sure everything was flawless as the morning sunbeam crept across the floor. After the panties there was a matching lace-trimmed silk corset that fit around her torso from her waist to her breasts; Sami had hardly anything to support, but it was designed to artfully cradle and emphasize the low mounds she was only just beginning to develop. Hetessa laced it firmly up Sami's back; Sami found it tight and stiff but pleasantly so. The wolfess stood up straight, delighting how the classically modest undergarment smoothed and firmed her physique. Next there was a pair of long shimmering white silk stockings sliding smoothly across her tan fur and turning her legs snowy white, decorated with white ribbon bows at the elastic thighs and specially designed with reinforced toes for clawed paws, Finally, there was a frilly petticoat of white tulle that buckled tight around her waist and spread out to a graceful bell around her hocks. Every new piece of clothing was a novelty, an exciting new experience to absorb and savor; even the costumes of her former life had not been so elaborate. Sami smiled and her tail wagged; the textures marvelous against her most sensitive parts, the silk undergarments' inescapable presence felt with every move she made. Hetessa devoted herself to her daughter's garbing, touched by how happy this shared ritual was making the darling wolfess. With each new piece Sami seemed less like a cub and more like a little lady, and there was still more to come. Now at last it was time for the most important piece of all, the dress itself. "Arms up, chin up," Hetessa commanded and Sami happily obeyed, turning away from her reflection in the mirror and raising her hands and snout to the sky. The wolfess watched the long tunnel of taffeta close around her as Hetessa lowered the dress. For a glorious shimmering moment, Sami's world was nothing but the pure sensation of white silk completely enveloping her, immersed totally in the immaculate scent and feel. All too soon, her hands found their armholes and her head thrust past the collar and back into the sunlit pinkness of her bedroom. A moment of discomfort was relived as Hetessa's gentle tug guided the wolfess's tail out the aperture in the back. Sami started to turn back to the mirror, but Hetessa stopped her. "A-a-ah. Not until we're done. Understand?" Sami nodded. The margay fastened the long row of pearly buttons up the back of the bodice to secure it comfortably snug around Sami's torso. She tenderly brushed the wolfess's headfur and affixed a lace veil to her head, framing her pointed lupine ears and cascading down the back of her head and past her shoulders. A matching veil was looped around the base of her tail, the tan color of her fur now muted beneath the translucent white organza. Her footpaws slipped into a pair of shiny white leather shoes, her hands into a pair of short white satin gloves decorated with a double row of pearlescent beads at the cuffs. Everything fit perfectly. Hetessa knelt in front of Sami and fastened a pearl necklace around the young wolfess's neck. Unlike the underwear, the tights, the dress, and every other piece of the heavenly outfit the necklace was not new. Sami recognized it as Hetessa's own, an antique. The margay had once told her it had belonged to her own mother. Sami's gloved hand touched the margay's own in a silent thanks. Hetessa dabbed a touch of perfume onto Sami's neck and now at last the wolfess was permitted to turn and view her reflection. Sami stared, speechless. The transformation was total. The white taffeta bodice glimmered in the light of the sunbeam, silky smooth from the dainty lace-trimmed neckline, over the low topography of her petite bosom, and down to the waistline. The sleeves were elbow length, slightly puffed at the shoulders, and entirely translucent, decorated with an intricate pattern of embroidery at the elbows and terminating in a lacy fringe. The high waist was marked by a wide horizontal sash of silk embroidery accented with pearls and fringed with lace; offset to the left, just below her heart, nestled a decorative silk and ribbon ornament like a flower. Below, the skirt reached nearly to the floor, filled out to an exquisite bell shape by the petticoat underneath. The silk skirt was masked by an overlay of translucent organza, elegantly unadorned for the top two-thirds of its flowing length and embellished at the bottom in the same intricate embroidery as the sleeves, ending in a delicate gauzy fringe below where the underlying silk was hemmed. Sami ran her satin gloves over the skirt, the bodice, the sleeves, exploring every splendid inch of her breathtaking new avatar. Standing behind with her hands resting on the wolfess's shoulders, Hetessa bent down and kissed the top of her daughter's head. "You're an angel, Sami." "Thank you, Hetessa," she whispered sincerely. "You're welcome, Sami. Come on. Let's show your dad." Sami moved cautiously at first, but then more confidently as her years of training took over and she quickly adjusted to the grace and poise demanded by the weight and feel of her new dress. Kol was waiting with a camera as Sami descended the staircase with impeccable decorum, her movement so refined and natural as though she had been born to it. She paused halfway down to let the antelope frame the perfect shot, and at the bottom she curtseyed; Kol bowed low and kissed her gloved hand. "You're beautiful, Sami." "Thank you, Kol." "Are you hungry, sweetheart? Brunch is ready and waiting for you." Sami suddenly realized she was starving; she hadn't eat yet today at all. Kol lead on into the next room and Sami followed. The dining room was abnormally dim, lit only by the warm glow of tall white candlesticks. The curtains were drawn across the wide double doors that opened onto the backyard, and across the window, too; usually they were wide open to take advantage of the natural light. Sami didn't dwell on this oddity long, however, as her eyes came to rest on the dining room table. An entire feast was laid out with all of her favorite foods: crystallized fruits and savory vegetables, roast rabbit and a huge golden haunch of venison, and so much more. In the center of the table beside a bouquet of lilies was a magnificent white frosted cake. It didn't matter that it was barely even noon, Sami could not wait to try all of it. Hetessa sat her lupine daughter down at the head of the table and Kol began to pile her plate with food. They didn't tell her to pace herself, or to not eat too much. Hetessa and Kol hardly ate any themselves but rather concentrated on doting lavishly upon their daughter. Today, on her most special day, Sami was the master and her parents her devoted servants. No sooner was the wolfess's plate emptied then one or the other refilled it. Sami wolfed down her meal ravenously, one heaping delicious bite right after another, and yet took the greatest care to not allow a single crumb to soil her outfit. The banquet ended with a giant slice of angel food cake, the lightest and sweetest Sami had ever tasted. She scraped the last crumbs from her plate and daintily dabbed a stray drop of creamy icing from her muzzle with her napkin. "Thank you, Kol. Thank you, Hetessa," she bowed her head politely at each of them, "That was wonderful." "You're very welcome, Sami," Kol demurred, "But your birthday's not over yet." "We still have one more present for you. Outside," Hetessa added. Sami's eyes flitted towards the drapes obscuring the patio doors and then back to Kol and Hetessa. "What... what is it?" "You can see it now, sweetheart, if you want." Sami nodded enthusiastically, "I do!" The margay nodded. "Okay." She and her husband stood, and their adopted wolfess did likewise. The trio crossed the room to the double doors and stopped. Kol rested his right hand on Sami's left shoulder. "Close your eyes," Hetessa commanded. Sami obeyed instantly. She sensed the door open, a rush of fresh warm air washing over her. Kol's hand on her shoulder guided her forward, outside. She knew the yard well enough that she didn't really need her eyes; she could see it clearly in her mind: the brick patio right behind the house; the manicured lawn of lush emerald green grass beyond; to the right, an old and spreading oak tree; to the left, Hetessa's garden, the tool shed, and two more smaller trees; and surrounding it all a tall wooden fence. Her shoes clicked smartly across the patio and then onto the lawn. Kol angled her slightly to the left. She did not worry about tripping; the antelope's hand was firm and steady, and she trusted him to not steer her wrong. He gave a gentle squeeze and she stopped, standing obediently with her hands clasped at her waist, eyes tightly shut. She waited, a single minute stretching out into a seeming hour as she wondered what this secret gift could possibly be, but the thought of peeking without permission never crossed her mind, as Hetessa and Kol knew it wouldn't. Hetessa took a deep breath. "Open your eyes," she said softly. Sami obeyed. She gasped and clapped her gloved hands to her mouth. There, resting on a bier draped with white bunting and bouquets of lilies, metallic silver paint shimmering in the sunlight, was a coffin; a gleaming stainless steel capsule with polished silver fittings, 16 gauge construction, and a watertight seal, and it was just her size. Mouth agape, Sami looked from the sublime casket to Hetessa and then to Kol; he nodded at her. Sami hitched up her skirt and ran as quickly as her dress allowed across the yard, her veiled tail wagging ecstatically behind her. Half the silver lid yawned wide open, and Sami grasped the edge and leaned forward to peer inside. The interior was lined with pink satin, soft and pillowy, inviting the wolfess to lie down and sleep forever. She ran a hand across the plush padding and she inhaled deeply, filling her nose with the aroma. She wanted to be inside. She needed to be inside. Sami lifted one leg, ready right then and there to climb onto the bier and ensconce herself within the somnolent crypt of the lavish sarcophagus. "A-a-ah, Sami. No." The wolfess froze and turned back to face Kol. "It's not for you to use while you're alive." He gestured to a small table set off to one side of the bier. Sami had scarcely noticed it, so overwhelmed she had been by the magnificent casket. She looked now. Atop a white tablecloth stood a glass vase holding another bouquet of lilies and a single tall white candle. A silver picture frame held a picture of her, smiling, on the day Hetessa and Kol had bought her. But what truly drew her attention was a long neatly coiled soft white rope, arranged around a black leather collar just like the one she had worn as a snuff slave. Sami looked from the rope and collar, to Hetessa and Kol, to the coffin, and then back to Hetessa and Kol, eyes wide and ears perked, not daring to believe what she hoped they might be suggesting could be true. "The dress. The feast. The casket. The rope. We wanted your birthday to be special," Hetessa explained, her voice wavering slightly. "Sami," Kol took a deep steadying breath, and finished, "we are going to snuff you." The wolfess was speechless. Her chin trembled. "It's what you wanted, isn't it?" Sami abruptly grabbed them both around the waist and hugged them tight, catching them completely by surprise. She nodded fervently, tears of joy rolling down her cheeks. "Oh-h-h, yes. Yes, yes, yes." The trio stood still for a moment in the sunlight, Hetessa and Kol stunned by the sincere earnestness of the first genuine hug their daughter had ever given either of them. Hetessa gently stroked the wolfess, fighting back her tears. Sami's first hug, first and last and only. Soon, far too soon for Kol and Hetessa's taste, Sami released. She curtseyed daintily, and softly spoke, "It is my honor to be snuffed by you." Kol nodded solemnly. "Okay, Sami. As you wish." He reached past her and took the collar in his hand. Her eyes followed hungrily. "Turn around." Sami obeyed readily. She was looking directly at the coffin now. Her coffin. Before the sun set today she would be at rest inside it, snuffed and beautiful. The joy this knowledge brought her was ecstatic, uncontainable. Her tail thumped excitedly against Kol as he crouched down behind her. With great reverence Kol lifted the veil away from the back of Sami's neck. He guided the black collar around her throat and buckled it against her nape. There was a sharp pinch as though the scruff had gotten caught in the buckle and Sami let out an involuntary yelp. "Sorry, angel! Did I hurt you? Is it too tight, Sami?" "No, master," the happy word rolled off her tongue naturally. She was a slave again. "It's perfect." It should have been impossible for Sami to stand up any straighter than she was already, but somehow she managed it. "Okay." Kol let the veil fall back into place. "It's time for you to hang, then." It wasn't merely like her old collar. It /was/ her collar. Sami recognized it immediately, like an old friend. She knew every inch of it, every wrinkle in the leather, every place where the lining was worn away. When they had taken it from her, she had feared they would simply throw it away. They had saved it. "Yes, master." Kol stepped aside and bowed low, gesturing across the lawn to where the old oak stood proud and eternally patient. "Lead on, Sami." With her masters flanking her like an honor guard, Sami crossed the emerald turf to the oak. It was a exceeding majestic tree, its trunk thick, with several stout limbs spreading out to form a beautiful natural gallows. From the day she had arrived at this house it seemed to her a waste of nature's bounty that no one had ever been executed on its boughs. Until now, that was. Sami trod slowly, her hands clasped at her waist; though she was eager to fulfill her purpose function, she desired just as much to make this moment last as long as possible. Her masters deserved nothing but the best decorum she had to offer. The trio processed with reverent pace, Sami leading as meek and pure as a lamb to the altar, fearless and wholly willing. The midday sun was warm but the cool shade beneath the canopy of the tree was superb. There was a white painted wooden stepladder waiting for her already beneath the thickest, sturdiest limb. Sami stopped, and turned back to face her masters. For a split second Hetessa dared to hope that the wolfess had changed her mind. Instead, Sami curtseyed with refined dignity, dress billowing around her, her face set in a stoic mien of determination. "Thank you, masters. I hope my death is satisfying to you." Hetessa's heart fell. Sami turned back to the makeshift gallows. She placed one tiny gloved hand in Kol's. With the other she lifted the skirt of her dress so she could climb the stepladder. Her shoes tapped neatly up the rungs. At the top she stood straight and proud, only a slight wagging of her tail betraying her feelings. Without prompting she held her hands behind her back. The margay's own hands trembling, Hetessa bound her daughter's slender wrists with a length of silky soft white rope, the knot only as tight as necessary to hold her arms in place. Sami gave an experimental tug and was delighted to confirm she was helpless to defend herself. Hetessa took the long coil of white rope and slowly tied one end into a silken noose as Sami watched eagerly. The margay had been practicing her knotwork daily since she and her mate had agreed that they would have to snuff Sami. Though she couldn't empathize with Sami's steadfast determination to die, Hetessa was equally steadfast that if that was what Sami wanted then she would do everything she could to make the wolfess's death perfect. Sami deserved nothing less from her mother. Though it hurt to her very soul to do so, Hetessa accepted that the embrace of the noose was the most loving hug she could give her daughter. Hetessa cast the long end of the rope over the overhanging limb. She cupped Sami's chin in her hand; for a moment it looked as though the margay might say something, but she could not find the words. She only lightly kissed her daughter on the tip of her lupine nose and stepped back. Kol raised the noose to hang at the proper height directly in front of Sami's nose and tied the rope firmly around the trunk of the tree. Sami stared through the noose, the world in front of her, her masters' home, framed by soft white rope. It was a window showing her last view of a world she had never been meant for. The rope was and always had been the only fate she desired. She nuzzled against it, savoring the silky texture, inhaling the scent of Hetessa's hand lotion infusing the coils. Soon enough it would snuff her. Her ears swiveled as she sensed Kol take up position behind her. The wolfess raised her pointed muzzle and leaned gently forward. The antelope's hands reached around on either side and grasped the rope firmly. Her master's hooffingers brushed against her cheek as he guided the hempen snare over her head and then down to her neck. He lifted her veil out of the way and drew the knot comfortably snug against her nape. Sami trilled. There was a noose around her neck, firm beneath her chin, nestled in her sandy fur. The rope stretched from her throat to the tree, nearly no slack at all, the knot rigid against the back of her skull; a thin white line tethering her fragile body to the precipice between life and death. At last, she was going to be snuffed. Now Kol stood in front of her. She looked up at him, his expression serious. He rested his hands on her shoulders and looked the noosed wolfess in the eyes; the stepladder was tall enough he hardly had to stoop at all. "Sami. You will only ever get to do this once. This is not a game. You are going to die. You understand?" "Yes, master." "Are you absolutely sure this is what you want, Sami?" Sami nodded confidently. The rope rubbing against her spine sent a tremor of excitement all the way to her toes. "Yes, master. More than anything, master." Kol nodded grimly. "Okay. Sleep well, my angel." He kissed her between her eyes where the bridge of her muzzle curved to meet her forehead. He released her shoulders and stepped back a couple paces; a length of string trailed from his right hand to a leg of the stepladder. Hetessa stood beside her mate, gazing sadly at their beautiful daughter, dressed all in white in the dappled sunlight; bound, noosed, and doomed to die; the rescued slave who had chosen death over freedom. It was not the outcome they had ever wanted, but Sami's life was her own. The wolfess had to be free to choose for herself. It was the only way she would ever understand how much she meant to Hetessa and Kol. "Goodbye, Sami," Hetessa said, the first tears gathering in the corner of her eye. Sami looked proudly at her gracious masters, dressed in somber black in the noon sun; simultaneously mourners and executioners. The tableau was simply perfect, greater than she could have ever dreamed. At last they had come to understand what she was for, and had enabled her to fulfill her sole ambition. Sami concentrated and forced her eager tail to lie still, befitting the solemnity of the occasion. "Goodbye. Thank you, Masters." "We love you," Kol said. Sami smiled, and closed her eyes. She took a deep breath through her nose, her breast swelling beneath the white silk. The antelope tugged on the string. The stepladder collapsed onto the grass with a muted thump. The rope stretched taut. The knot smoothly closed. "GHRLGK-" Sami gasped as the noose cinched her fragile throat. Hetessa started as though to rush to her aid, but Kol held her back. The wolfess's eyes opened wide in an instant. She kicked desperately, instinctively seeking to relieve the pressure. One white leather shoe and then the other flew free of her silken footpaws to land in a distant corner of the yard. The pain was intense. She was being hanged! She was being snuffed! She was dying! It was the scene she had yearned her entire life: the golden sunshine shining through the shifting leaves of her living gallows, dappling across the pure white silk and lace that coddled her writhing body; the weeping mourners dressed all in black, attending dutifully to her execution, ready to lay her to eternal rest in the serene security of her very own casket. If only the other slaves could see her now; Sami knew the jealousy would drive them mad. She struggled harder, determined to make the most of her final moments. Hetessa could not stand to watch anymore. She buried her face in Kol's chest and wept. The antelope patted his mate on the back, holding her close. He continued to watch Sami's throes, determined not to look away. He bit his lower lip thoughtfully, trying to ignore the unwanted feelings the sight of his adopted daughter strangling on a noose was arousing within him. Sami's cherry red tongue protruded full length from her muzzle, drool dripping from its length. The rope was buried deep in the plush ruff of her throat, the entirety of her weight concentrated on that slender hempen snare, a thin line in the sandy fur that allowed not a single breath past. Her nostrils flared wide, rapidly sucking in and blowing out short shallow huffs that never made it to her lungs. Her blue eyes bugged, pupils wide, tears rolling down her cheeks; her ears pinned flat against the lace veil that graced her skull. Her tail thrashed its panic, propagating ripples through the wide silk skirt of her dress. Her arms tugged against their binding, rope digging into her wrists, her hands clenched into white satin fists. Her stocking footpaws kicked desperately, treading the air in vain exertion. Her toes splayed, stretching the white silk that confined them. There was no other sound beneath the noble oak; even the birdsong and the breeze had stopped. Only the impotent strangled gasps of Sami's choked breath and the crinoline rustle of silk and petticoat as her legs pedaled futilely at the empty air several feet above the spurned earth. The silk immersing Sami danced with her struggles, as light as the air she traipsed upon, accentuating every move she made. It was truly a perfect dress, befitting the once-in-a-lifetime performance of her own death. Sami only wished she could see herself laid out inside her casket, her masters' most prized possession ornately decorated and put on display on a pedestal for all to admire. She wished to see herself locked away in her own pink satin vault safe beneath the earth, beautiful forever. Sami strove to properly thank her masters for their gifts, putting all the energy she possessed into rewarding them with the best show she could give. She called upon her old training, all the exercises to increase her endurance. She could see them watching her; she hoped they would be proud of her. Still clinging tight to her mate, Hetessa risked another look. Together they watched their daughter buck and squirm, pirouetting with flawless aplomb; youthfully lively even as her life was strangled from her, tiny and fragile beneath the aged tree. The sight was macabre and yet arresting, terrible and yet beautiful; the wolfess's final dance graceful and pure. There was a glow around her, a faint halo of sunlight refracted off the shimmering silk. The corners of her mouth were upturned in a satisfied smile. Dying, Sami looked happier than they had ever seen her. Sami could feel every beat of her heart, pounding violently as though determined to make the most of the little time it had left. She could feel her neck pulsing against the noose digging deep into her fragile throat, the noose that was her doom, the noose that was to guide her to death. Lower down, nowhere near as tight but still just as essential to her execution, the weight of the black collar. Her black collar. It was right that it should be there. It had been a faithful companion her entire life, her collar that marked her a slave, that declared her worthy of snuff. Her masters, they had granted her this honor. For them, she would die. The tension ebbed gradually from her body, the fight of her instincts increasingly fitful. Sami knew it was death overcoming her. The pain, so sharp in that first instant, now as dull as cotton. It was relaxing, peaceful. Everything felt slow and heavy. Her vision was getting hazy, darkening around the edges. A serene death. Peaceful, wonderful death. It truly was just like going to sleep. The pain of the noose embedded in the wolfess's sandy pelt faded. The collar seemed to melt away. But there was still one encirclement tangible around her neck, rubbing unfamiliarly: Hetessa's antique pearl necklace. A gift, a blessing. Sami's eyes abruptly focused sharply on Hetessa and Kol, watching her, weeping for her. She felt a strange pang, and within the fog that was rapidly clouding her mind she realized she was going to miss them. And they were going to miss her. So very much. They were going to miss her far more than her friends, than her former owners ever would. Hetessa and Kol had cared for her, truly. Her masters... Her parents... Her dad... Her mom... They had never demanded her life. All they had ever wanted was for her to live. Life had simply been something to do to pass the time until she died. Sami had never been allowed connections because she was acutely conscious of how temporary life was. But to Hetessa and Kol, there was something more important, more enduring than even death. Sami's limp legs stirred for one final kick, a fleeting pang of regret, a faint striving to prolong life just that much longer. It wasn't their fault. She had been made for this. She had to let them know... Her pulse pounded in her temples. If she hadn't been... a slave... She strained to draw breath, and failed utterly. A slave... meant for death... and death... alone... Her chest shuddered, lungs rattling. She would gladly... be... their... Her heart faltered. Daughter. Sami's eyelids sagged, and gently closed. A final tear trailed down her cheek. Her head lolled. Her stocking toes trembled once, twice, and drooped limply. Her pendulous swaying slowed, and stopped. The yard was silent except for Hetessa's dry sobs. The air was hot and still. Sami hanged motionless. Kol cut the rope and gently lowered the angelic wolfess into Hetessa's waiting embrace. Hetessa knelt to the grass cradling Sami's body in her arms. Knelt beside his wife, Kol cut the noose from his daughter's bruised neck and the bindings from her wrists. He felt for any hint of a pulse. He tucked her blotched purple tongue back into her muzzle and wiped away the drool and tears with a silk handkerchief. He found Sami's shoes and put them back on her footpaws. Silently, the antelope took Sami from Hetessa and carried his daughter back across the yard, limp and insubstantial in his arms. Reverently, Kol laid her delicate body in the rosy satin crèche of her casket. Hetessa arranged the gossamer folds of her immaculate dress. Kol folded her tiny gloved hands across her silken chest. Her face was frozen in a contented smile. They each kissed her forehead, her still-warm nose, her eyelids. Her body made no response. She did not look like she was sleeping. Sami was dead. -- -- In the slave cemetery at the bottom of the hill, a patch of fresh dirt turns to mire under the fitful rain. Three sets of shoeprints, two large, one small, blur and melt away. A bouquet of lilies wilts atop a shiny new headstone with no date, just a name and an epitaph: SAMI Through Death There Is Freedom -- -- "Sami has to die," Dr. Gordon explained, "So that your daughter can live." -- -- With great reverence Kol lifted the veil away from the back of Sami's neck. He guided the black collar around her throat and buckled it against her nape. There was a sharp pinch as though the scruff had gotten caught in the buckle and Sami let out an involuntary yelp. "Sorry, angel! Did I hurt you? Is it too tight, Sami?" "No, master," the happy word rolled off her tongue naturally. She was a slave again. "It's perfect." It should have been impossible for Sami to stand up any straighter than she was already, but somehow she managed it. "Okay." Kol let the veil fall back into place. "It's time for you to hang, then." He slipped the empty syringe into his back pocket. He could only pray the thanophile anesthesia Dr. Gordon had prescribed would work properly. -- -- -- -- -- -- -- In her green bedroom at the top of the stairs the young sandy-furred wolfess awoke with a start. Her eyes snapped open and she sat bolt upright in her cozy flannel pajamas. "Angel!" a voice cried out. The air smelled of fresh paint. "How are you feeling? We've been worried sick." There were two adults standing over her bed, a female margay and a male sable antelope. Her mind struggled to attach names to them and failed. "Wh--?" she croaked. "Angel, are you alright?" Angel? That was her name? But... then who was... "Sami?" Her throat was dry. "Sami's dead, sweetheart. Remember? You were there." The margay pressed a glass of water into her hands and then brushed the wolfess's sandy fur out of her eyes. The wolfess drank gratefully. Her mind slowly tuned out the static. She remembered vividly Sami dying. Very vividly. Sami /was/ dead. This was a truth she could anchor to. And if Sami was dead... and she was alive... then she must not be Sami. Angel... She tested the name in her mind. I am Angel. It seemed... right, somehow. Familiar. "That was quite a fright you gave us, Angel," the antelope spoke up. "What happened?" Angel took another drink of water. "You fainted." "We were worried you wouldn't wake up in time for the funeral," the margay added. "We know it's not how you wanted to spend your birthday, but we can all go out to eat afterward. Someplace nice. Okay?" Angel nodded uncertainly. "Do you need any help getting dressed?" "N-no. I'm fine. Thanks...." The margay smiled and nodded. "You can come down whenever you're ready." The pair turned to go. Angel could hear the antelope's hoofsteps already on the hallway floor as the margay started to close the bedroom door. Then it came to her. It was suddenly there in Angel's head, as sharp and sudden as a hunter's arrow, a memory of something desperately important she needed to say, something that absolutely could not wait. "Wait. Wait! Mom! Dad!" Hetessa paused at the threshold. "What is it, Angel?" Kol appeared, looking over his wife's shoulder. Angel slipped out of bed and sprinted across the carpeted floor. She hugged them both tightly around the waist, clinging like she would never again let go. "I love you." Her parents smiled down at her, her mom's eyes trembling. "We love you too, Angel." Angel let go, smiling back up at them. Without another word they left, her dad closing the door behind him. Alone in her room, Angel took a look around. The room felt familiar, the shape exactly as she remembered, but everything was different. The colors, the furniture and the way it was arranged, it was all alien. She opened the dresser drawers. None of these clothes had been Sami's. It was the same in the closet. Hanging from the door handle was a starkly plain black velvet dress and a pair of black tights, for the funeral today. Sami's funeral. Angel padded back across the carpet to the window. The view of the front yard was exactly as she remembered. Absently, her fingers fidgeted with the cord for the shades. The sky was grey, the clouds gravid with rain. Somehow, Angel knew this was exactly the kind of weather Sami would want - /would have wanted/ for her funeral. Hadn't this been the view from Sami's window? But Sami's room had been pink, with hardwood floors. It seemed like her memories of Sami were getting mixed up with her own. But Sami was a slave. She was gone; dead. Sami's purpose was to die, and Angel had been there. It was all very confusing. Well. No matter. She could figure it out later. Right now, she had better get dressed; mom and dad were waiting. It was her birthday, after all, and she had a lot of life to live in front of her. Angel turned away from the window and let go of the cord; it swung back and bounced off the window pane unregarded. The end of the cord was tied into a perfect tiny hangman's noose. First draft began June 5, 2017. First draft completed October 5, 2017. Editing completed October 28, 2017.