Alex inserted the chip in his computer as soon as he got to his apartment, then he headed for the kitchen. it had been a long day, he told himself and he was hungry. He made himself a large meal and ate it slowly, having learned since his last time getting sick from eating, that the speed at which he ate was more of a factor than how much he ate.

    After that he did the laundry, After spending months wearing the same thing, he could no longer stand the thought of dirty clothes. When that was done he restocked his fridge.

    He was in the process of rearranging his vid collection, for the second time that day, when he finally admitted to himself he was procrastinating, and it was because he was scared.

    Anytime he moved to the computer, Emerill's words came back to him. 'You will not be the same once you read this.' and for two days those words kept him from sitting and opening the file. Then he had enough. He didn't want to be the same. He was miserable, how much worst could it get?

    He finally brought the file up. The first page was details about Tristan himself; Samalian, dark brown fur with scattered white specks. six foot nine, two hundred ninety pounds. Alex didn't think that was right. Jack had been Tristan, and Jack hadn't been much taller than Alex's six one, hadn't he?

    The section on his personality said he was a Machiavellian psychopath with no compunction against killing. After that the terms became technical and meant nothing to Alex, Not that he thought that was right either. The person he'd known was sweet, kind. Could the person described here be capable of behaving in such a loving way if those emotions weren't there somewhere in his being?

    The next section started with Tristan's first crime. Six murders on the Junjager transport ship. He'd killed the entire crew. Dismembered them, the file said, with a link, which Alex brought up.

    Then he ran for the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet before throwing up. It had been a picture, and dismembered didn't do justice to what he'd seen. The bodies had been carved up, blood and entrails all over the floor. one of the faces had been caved in, brain matter oozing from the broken skull.

    He had nightmares because of that picture, seeing himself as one of the broken bodies. That person had been in his apartment, in his bed. How could he not have known? had there been even a hint? he couldn't think of any. In being Jack, Tristan had only shown caring for Alex. How was that even possible?

    He buried himself in work after that. For a whole week he left as soon as he woke, and worked as long as he could before coming back. The little time he was home he stayed away from his computer. He didn't want to accidentally see that picture again, or any of the other ones.  

    After that, he considered erasing the chip, to protect himself, but realized that if he did that he would erase any chances he had of understanding how Tristan had been able to do what he had done to him.

    He had to read it. He had to read all of it. If he didn't he'd always wonder, not only about what was on it, but about if he could have gotten Jack back. The cost to himself couldn't matter, not if there was a chance he could draw Jack out of that monster.

    Part of him knew that thought was insane. Tristan had said there was no Jack, he had been an act. But Alex wouldn't allow himself to think about that. No one, absolutely no one was that good as to fake love.

    The Junjager had been found drifting at the edge of the Tournal system by an arriving transport. Tristan had escaped using one of the life pods. He read the entire file before bringing up any of the pictures. he forced himself to look at them, making sure to do so on an empty stomach, which saved him from too much cleaning. He looked at them, he studied them, until his stomach no longer turned. He didn't want to constantly run to the bathroom, if he was going to get to know him, he had to get used to the results of Tristan's atrocities. Once he was able to look through those pictures with ease, if not comfort, he moved to the next one, Tetsui Station.

    That one was easier, the body count had been higher, six hundred and twenty-eight, but the deaths had happened when he blew up the station. The crime had been horrible, but, thankfully, no victims remained to be recorded. The Osagua cruise ship was much the same, sixty-three died when it exploded.

    The killing at Uritual was completely different. He'd only killed one person, a bounty hunter named Johanna Sheldon, according to the file. He skinned and filleted her, drying the skin and muscles, blanching the bones and dumping that at the doorsteps of the Bounty hunter's group she had belonged to.

    The action spoke of a coldness that brought to Alex those eyes as Tristan told him Jack hadn't been real.

    Then there was a town on Ucoryla Two which he bombed. The file only had an estimate of the number of dead, two thousand.

    The next six killing were vicious, reminiscent of his first one. six bounty hunters affiliated with the Club Johanna had belonged to. Those pictures spoke of anger, rage.

    There were many more files, many more death, some cold and calculated, some burning hot. Tristan had been caught and imprisoned three times. He escaped each time, twice with a high body count in the process, and once in such a way that no one had figured out how he did it.

    It was late in the night when Alex finished reading. He felt cold. he took a long shower, scalding hot, but it didn't help. He didn't know what it was, but he knew he'd lost  something in forcing himself to read those files.

    He tossed and turned in his sleep, his dreams filled with death, those victims and his, always at Tristan's hand. The last dream he remembered was of Tristan holding him by the neck screaming. "He's mine! You'll never get Jack back!" And then ripping his heart out.

    Alex swore to himself that wouldn't come to pass. He would rescue Jack, no matter the cost. he reread the files, carefully, paying attention to every details no matter how gruesome for any clue as to how he might find Tristan.

    The most recent entry indicated Tristan had been captured and imprisoned, but it was dated years before Alex had encountered him, so he had escaped from there. He'd been brought there by a bounty hunter, Miranda Sunstar, and he tried to locate her, to get information from her, she'd caught him she had to know how he thought, where he hid. But her information, like Tristan's, was buried too deep and too well for him to access it. he'd have to use a system like Luminex to get to her, and he'd promised he wouldn't use that for anything illegal.

    He was going to have to find other ways of tracking Tristan down. He had no idea how he was going to do that, but he would find a way. no matter the cost, he would find him and draw out the spark that had been Jack.