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Zara (left) and Kas (right) (c) Ketzio & GBB
Maile (middle) (c) GratitudeAdvocate
Made with \r\n\t\t\t\t\t
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~~
Two teenagers in the middle of a spring break vacation spotted a looming dirt lot that cradled a dismal little diner. It had shimmered from the side of the highway like an aluminum can lodged partially in the Earth. Rolling hills lush with weeds and dry golden grass hid a small town nearby but from the window of the Toyota Corolla, it felt like the edges of the world were either dead vegetation or a massive winding asphalt snake that housed small metallic creatures traveling up and down its spine. This was the definition of purgatory.
Kas wasn't nearly as tired as his opossum/rat companion, Zara, whose half lidded eyes looked drowsily out of the same window. They had been on the road since roughly 4 am and the hour had just crossed into the double-digits. Zara's yawns were becoming rhythmic and on the dot of every 3 minutes as she firmly clutched the wheel and shook her head whenever she felt drowsy despite being on several different brands of energy drinks. It was only 10 and Kas and Zara had already tucked nearly 6 hours of road time. They had to make a stop soon or they'd become a flaming pile of car on the side of the road.
They had to stop at that diner -- just to get some coffee to the dismay of Kas' stomach growls. Zara would constantly remind Kas that if he ate -- he would fall asleep. Plus, he actually got a full night of sleep beforehand so what the hell was he complaining about.
~~
Kas was working on his second bottle of ice cold root beer, served queerly in a bottle as opposed to a glass; something in the menu had informed him that there was some factory or something near and this dive bill-boarded it as: "From the factory to the bottle to you". Oh well, the drink was pleasantly sweet so Kas had little to gripe on.
Somewhere an old country western song played melodically and was barely above the noise of patrons clanking their plates and silverware. Kas touched the bottle to his lips and mused about whether he was hearing the music from the kitchen, some overhead stereo system, or if his mind had just erected a soundtrack to the environment.
There was a unique blessing to being as young as he was here and the irony wasn't lost: most of the patrons where either farmer-looking locals with sideways glances or mean and grizzled truckers. Kas was more than conscious that had he have been even a few years older someone would have kicked up a fuss. He could vaguely sense their judgment and, perhaps, homophobia. Fortunately he was still very much considered a kid and most of the ire was superficial at best.
Zara was no good at conversation anymore, unfortunately, as Kas glanced from the window to the customers to her. She had ignorantly stayed up the full night before in prep for a drive and the energy drink/diet coke fueled hybrid girl he saw in the early hours of dawn was now looking far older and decrepit then ever. She looked like she could play off being his grandma all bundled up in her jacket and looking confused; even clutching her cup of coffee with both hands and cautiously sipping on it.
Unfortunately Kas' phone was as dull as Zara for, as he glanced down at it, no one messaged him. One of his close friends, a coyote named Vera, was normally the person who constantly bombarded him with messages but it seemed that today she was bitter. She made that clear in her last message a couple of hours ago: "w/e, just hang out with queen bitch by yourself >:("
She was clearly mad the few days prior while they were still making their road trip plans. Vera had joined them in their grocery trip for energy drinks and junk food and that is when their little argument exploded:
"You'd have no fun!" Zara dismissed while, chest-first, pushing her shopping cart through the snack aisle. "It's a Metal and Punk Rock show."
"So?" Vera sulked; watching Kas zip through the aisle while tossing whatever he could get his hands on into the cart.
"You wont even like any of the bands playing." Zara continued.
"Well it's not fair for you guys to assume-"
"Vera, sweetie," Kas added; chucking a family sized bag of gummy worms into the cart, "There is only one room available... one beeeed... and you won't like it. Plus, what if me or Z hooks up with other guuuuys?"
"Hooks up?! That's gross! You'll be in the same room, and besides, I'm as grown up as you! I can make up my own damn mind -- it's not okay for you to just assume I don't ever want to go with you." Vera stomped her foot stubbornly like someone who was... not grown up.
"But what about your cluster headaches?" it was Kas' turn to plead. He didn't like having to treat Vera like this but what he couldn't say was that he and Zara were protecting her above everything else.
Kas had been trying to patch it up with her in texts all morning but Vera's stubborn 'I don't care's had now completely stopped. Oh well, she'll get over it soon.
At the table beside Zara and Kas, a small family consisting of a father, a mother, a young teenage girl, and a very young boy sat. They were pilgrims too, Kas could smell it. They weren't Punk Rock Goth pilgrims like he and Zara but they were travelers. The family were felines, Lynx to be specific. Kas was fascinated by felines; they moved and acted a different way, they were often more saucy and witty and their movements like smooth liquid in his eyes, and so his attention was drawn towards them.
They had become his private sitcom as he sipped his third soda and started piece-mealing a backstory for this family:
Daddy lynx had glasses and a tie. Ah yes, a business cat. He was clearly a man of action; probably an accountant and definitely gay. In Kas' world, most adult men led fetish-y and secret gay lives.
The mommy was a little plump and looked a little older than the dad, so Kas assumed that this was her second husband. Her first husband had plummeted from a building and fallen to an untimely death after his hot twink love affair was discovered.
The little boy was a prince. He rose his chin high and held dominion over the table and the family. He ordered first. Kas imagined he was a smart-talking street kid, and in Kas' fantasy, was always wise-cracking and concocting schemes to earn fame and money.
It was the teen daughter, however, that struck a chord with Kas. She was awkward and she kind of looked like him, or at least how he hoped he would've looked like as a girl: she had braces, a nice white smile, and kind of reminded him of Vera a little bit. Yeah, that was it. Kas basically hoped that, if he were a girl, he'd look a bit like Vera.
The fantasy was over and he looked away feeling bad; it wasn't his sudden identity issues of his own gender that hurt, it was the feeling that he wanted a family like that, he wanted to be that girl. Sure, Kas was loaded, spoiled and could spin affection from his many affairs and friends, but fuck, it stung to not have a family who would take him out to dinner. His parents were indifferent and busy, especially his dad.
"Z" Kas spoke timidly.
"Hrm?" Zara mumbled slowly. She followed Kas' day-dreaming gaze and saw the family and then looked back at him. "No, Kas, they're not affluent like us. They're probably going to cuntsburg nowhere."
"Afluen- wait, what, no-no, I- " Kas was cut off by a waitress.
"Can I get y'all something else" Jesus, she was country. This whole little stretch of oblivion between cities was as bumpkin as a hoedown especially to people like Kas and Zara.
"One more coffee and um... well, that's it." Zara stated with a dismissive hand flip.
"I guess I'll have a... uuhm... root beer. When in Rome." Kas giggled; pointing at one of the many bottle factory advertisements. He looked back to Zara as the waitress left. "I kind of feel bad about ditching Vera..."
"She'll be fine, I promise. She has dogboy and Lana." Zara added; referring to Vera's oh-so-obvious crush and Vera's crush's best friend. "Though I'm sure Lana wouldn't like me suggesting that they're friends or something -- but it's funny either way."
"Yeah, but--"
"Also, I'm sure if Vera came, she'd just be whining about why Hunter couldn't go either." Zara slipped a loose bang away from her eyes. "Whine, whine, whine -- that girl seriously needs to stop beating around the bush and just put his dick in her mouth already."
"Well, I'm sure she just wants t--"
"Plus, you said it yourself: You want to hook up."
"Yeah... but--"
"AND Vera is a killjoy. She sucks the fun out of the room faster than you suck di--"
"Family, Z!" Kas pointed out; cutting her off and half-lunging forward as if he were about to cover her mouth.
"Faster than you can suck family?" Zara coyly glared at the jackal. "Well, whatever you prefer I guess."
"You know what I'm trying to say." Kas said through clenched teeth; folding his arms and furiously gestured towards the milk-toast family behind him.
"They gotta find out about it someday- it's how we all got here." Zara shrugged and looked at the lynx family. "I'm sorry about our language." she forced their attention with her commanding and loud voice.
"That's um.. okay...?" the mother said apologetically; trying to avoid their unwanted audience.
"I still don't know why we can't get some food here" Kas sulked trying to reign in the conversation.
"Food will make us sluggish." Zara felt like she was explaining this to a child with how many times she had to reiterate. "We have breakfast bars in the car."
"Sugar free! They are mainly dried oatmeal and freakin fruits-- it's a balls sandwich, Z, and you're a bitch for buying them!" It was Kas' turn to swear and then apologize. "S-sorry, we've been driving all morning, eheh.."
"It's fine." the dad answered as he burrowed his brow so intensely that Kas thought he had locked it in place forever. "You kids need to be more considerate of my fa--"
"There's energy drinks!" Zara added back at Kas; cutting the father off seemingly on purpose as she glanced at him with a shit-eating grin.
"Yeap. I'll dip my cardboard food bar into the energy drinks then. Because that somehow beats hot pancakes and syrup!"
"Someone has his panties in a knot."
"Well, if I don't get something yummy someone is not going to have a knot in their panties tonight!" Kas was proud of that comeback and smirked as the mood lighting above had shrouded half of his face in a dramatic way. It was as if he had said something truly scarring.
"Bitch, I'll make you sleep in the hotel lobby." Zara almost slammed her fists on the table. "You piece of--"
"Not if I tell the hotel people how old you really are." Kas growled cutely; keeping his momentum up as it was a rarity that his brain could out-sass the sass-master Zara.
"I will kill your whole family, Kas." it almost seemed as if Zara was being serious.
"I already killed them in spite of you." Kas quipped lightheartedly anyways.
"You're not getting any pancakes and that's that!" Zara leaned back in her seat and gave Kas the best poker face she could muster. "And even if you're paying for everything, I still have authority."
"Who's the killjoy now?" Kas pouted in reference to Zara's earlier comment about Vera. "She'd let me have pancakes."
"She also can't drive. And she'd be one other person eating your stupid gummy worms which means... gasp! You'd have less."
When the waitress returned with a cup of coffee and a root beer, Kas folded his arms in defeat.
"You win this time" He muttered as the waitress left.
~~
"Ugh. Nerds!" Zara slammed her fists to the steering wheel. They were dead in a sea of traffic; towering sky scrapers loomed over them like monuments and on either sidewalk was literal floods of kids in ridiculously nerdy outfits. Despite their best efforts to leave early and beat city traffic; somehow they got stuck in it, thanks in no small part to a comic convention also being in town.
Kas cranked his window down and wagged his tail sticking his head out the window, he called out to a group of teens wearing matching anime inspired garb.
"You, there!" Kas called out enthusiastically. The group turned slowly to look at the weird semi-goth hipster mocking them.
"Excuse me?" a gopher replied with his 'Nurto' headband slightly off-kilter.
"I said what day is it, lads?" Kas cheered eagerly his bushy tail was unknowingly smacking Zara in the face as her rage grew.
"Screw you!" the gopher replied as he shepherded his friends away from the Corolla.
"Christmas! Then there's still time! The Ghosts were right!-"
Zara grabbed his hood hard and yanked him back into the car with a mighty amount of force, Kas slammed back and landed the back of his head in her lap. He looked up at her with a huge goofy smile.
"You know, your eyes are particularly radiant tonight." Kas said; his eyes unable to even detect her eyes in the darkness.
By the time they finally arrived at the venue, fans were collected in droves. Leather-clad, chain-wearing outsiders who conformed to the same misfit garb surrounded Kas and Zara. They smelled of smoke and leather and Kas was happy to be among his peers. This topped Remy-like nerds and ninjas any day, though his mind still rushed around the bizarre anxiety that family back at the diner caused him. As Zara slid a cigarette in her mouth and attempted to light it she grunted as Kas wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tight. He randomly needed love.
"What are you-"
"I'm lonely." he whined as his tail slowly wagged vertically.
"Get a guy then -- you do it like every day anyways."
"I don't want a guy though... I want a family~"
"Listen, Kas I'm not that kind of girl." she retorted; slightly flattered that the gay guy would suggest this. "You can't just expect me to--"
"oh... no no no I don't want to start a family... not with you" he said in an odd disgust.
"Wait, why the fuck not!? Zara recoiled in defense; trying to save her precious self-image.
"Oh, because you're a monster and our children would be mutants." Kas said poking his finger to his chin cutely. "Methinks an opossum-rat-jackal would look--"
"You can walk home."
"You can pay for your own gas!"
"Kill yourself." Zara sulked. "Besides, I don't want your weird gay babies anyways."
"My babies wouldn't be gay -- well not all of them. My youngest Peter would have some trouble with his identity though. He struggles with that sometimes and I would tell him it's okay but he's complicated, especially cause his mom is ashamed of my old wild oats."
"You... put way too much thought into this." Zara rolled her eyes and leaned against the wall finally lighting the cigarette. "Plus I never mentioned to you how much of an old man you sound like when you use terms like that."
"What?"
"You made a Christmas Carol and Charles Dickens reference, you weird old dude."
"Aww shit!" Kas slapped his palms to his cheeks; recalling his time in his old town with nothing to do but read old books. "I'm becoming like my dad! No, really, my dad does that shit. Do I really sound old when I say that stuff?"
"Yeah."
"Fuck me." Kas sighed and let that whole thing go; unable to stay on a single topic for too long like an ADD-riddled thing. "Zara?"
"Yes, Kas?"
"I really wish you let me get pancakes." he whined as he clutched the end of his shirt tightly. "Jerk."
~~
Wow, the show was middling. Such a long drive and the result: 4 bands of complete mediocrity thus far. Kas and Zara hid far in the back with a group of friends found only for the night. They mocked the amateur openers. They each nursed a single beer (with which Kas bitterly hated) and they told mean jokes and laughed in comradery. Unfortunately these guys where ugly as sin and had loyal girls both clinging to their arms. It felt like the 'getting lucky' part was not going to happen either. Kas considered cruising but had no energy for it, the place was weird, it had a vibe that he wasn't liking and frankly he was content just snuggling Zara tonight and watching 'Nick at Nite' rather then getting with some asshole.
The opening gambit of bands closed and there was a 10 minute intermission before the headliners took over. Kas and Zara elbowed and muscled toward the stage, this was the "or bust" part of the trip. The drive was tedious, the action was weak, and rest of the show was fair to poor. It was wow time.
Kas did not get wow time: the first opener had come out drunk and bewildered, they played their hits poorly and the singer stammered bitterly over familiar punk anthems constantly insulting the audience.
"Some fuckin' bands - they sell out and shit- and here we are two decades in the biz and we're still playing out to fatso dumbasses like you." This felt less punk rock and more insulting. Kas let his mind wander, he felt a surge to get home and kick up band practice again just so he could be on that stage preaching the 'real punk rock gospel' and this fat has-been evangelist could fuck off.
Zara was clearly down too. This was a band she raved about seeing and the look on her face was both shame and disgust.
"Aww, it's okay Zara." Kas reassured. "I think his drunkenness adds to his charm."
"Seriously. Kill yourself." Zara pouted. "Blech."
Finally, the first headliner shuffled off stage as tactless as they came out and Kas was done.
"Z, come on, lets just go." he muttered sadly, "I wanna go to the hotel and order a pizza... and more gummy worms and soda... and--"
"Two more bands Kas. We came this far! Also... you have gummy worms in the damn car already!" the hope in Zara's eyes was heartbreaking. On everything she owned she often scrawled "And these children that you spit on - As they try to change their worlds - Are immune to your consultations - They're quite aware of what they're going through" and this was clearly her living that philosophy, so Kas bit his lip, smiled and toughed it out.
Opener 2 was better. They played well enough and had won back an indifferent crowd partially. Kas was feeling better and it was nice to watch Z get back into it. They even felt like dancing a little -- but ended up just bobbing up and down. Kas at least wasn't raring to go anymore.
It was act 3 that humbled them. As a young woman with large ram horns and weirdly glowing eyes took the stage with her band. Kas watched Zara, who was in awe, planted to the floor with eyes as wide as saucers watching this woman and this woman alone -- seemingly disregarding the existence of the 4 others.
The woman sat behind the drum set. Kas could count the amount of female drummers on one hand so it was pretty neat that this one was doing so well. He was impressed -- all while Zara radiated so much admiration that Kas could've sworn she was glowing. He saw that, to Zara, the night was made. In fairness, this band was the wild card. They clearly paid some dues to be the closer, but neither Zara nor Kas ever heard of them so it was pleasant that Kas liked it, but Zara's reaction was wonderful.
Zara was never dumbfounded and yet she screamed after every song and pushed her body to the stage like a giggling little girl. Kas considered recording it with his phone for some tasty blackmail but decided to let her have her joy. Even if there was no cock in his future, at least Zara had fun... and he would probably get a pizza.
~~
The drive after the show was fun. Zara was clearly blushing and her heart was probably racing. She gushed about that woman, she talked about how 'righteous' her drumming was and how incredibly sexy she was.
Zara's pansexuality was always bragged about but Kas had sort of assumed her bi attitude was for show, so he definitely took joy that, for this night only, he would be bunking with a lesbian sorta. Kas was always curious about why Zara never had any girlfriends and her excuses always changed from: "Haven't found the right one," to "Eh, not interested at the moment." He decided he would ask again to see if the answer changed.
"So... that drummer," Kas wiggled his eyebrows. "She's got a nice pair of boobs with a couple of nipples, perhaps. What did you think?"
"WAIT!" Zara nearly screamed. "YOU COULD SEE HER NIPPLES FROM WHERE YOU WERE? REALLY?"
"No, I just assume she has nipples." Kas snickered as he watched the street lights zoom by. "Look at you getting all obsessive. It's adorable."
"D-do you think there are any sexy pics of her online? Or maybe she does porn! Aaah!" Zara gushed randomly. "Can I check your phone?"
"Nope." Kas waved her off.
"What?! Fuck you, lemme see!"
"Remember those pancakes?" Kas gestured in such a way that it looked like he was dangling invisible keys in her face.
"Forget killing yourself -- I'll do it for you if you don't show me!" Zara balled her hand into a fist in an intimidation attempt; raising it towards Kas' unflinching face.
"You're adoooooraaaable." he reiterated with a sly smile.
"Kas, I'll do anything if you look it up for me!" the desperation in Zara's eyes was hilarious. This was such a small thing -- but she didn't have 4G on her phone so... tough shit for her.
"Kaaay." Kas giggled. "Take me to Davey's Restaurant first... I have a hunger for the cakes of pan!"
Zara had never been so focused before in her life. She was on the hunt for Davey's.
They didn't see the band-related vans in the back of the Davey's parking lot, nor did they notice the crew guys smoking outside. Kas was focused on food and Zara was semi-lost in lustful fantasy; eager for Kas' phone's search engine to work its magic.
The dismissive hostess waved a dismissive hand at them; telling them to sit wherever they wanted. She was clearly peeved at the grungy-looking band crewmen cluttering the restaurant, but, Zara's eyes hadn't left the phone as she followed Kas' waving tail to whatever seat he picked.
He ended up pausing for a moment with a stifled "Za--" he then turned around and cut himself off with a subdued snicker. "You following me, Zara?"
"Yep!" her eyes were practically buried in his phone.
He ended up stopping in front of a booth and asked the random person: "Hey, what kind of pancakes are those?"
To Zara, his small-talk was grating and time-wasting. She finally peeled her eyes off of his phone to look up and berate him with a: "Kas! Stop bothering people and let's get to our buuuh--buuuh-buuuuh..." she finally noticed that Kas had strategically led her to her current object of affection. "Oh jeez."
Zara's face became red as a beet as the horned drummer girl from earlier stared back with a slight smile.
There was no way Zara would forgive herself if they left that restaurant without getting a picture of all of them together. Perhaps she would be able to rub it in Vera's face or something.