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Parfait (girl) (and characters mentioned in story) (c) Ketzio11 & Gothbunnyboy
Dog guy (c) The International Supply of Goofy-looking Side Characters
For those confused by how the characters look in these stories --
Lumina (the one girl here :P) https://inkbunny.net/submissionview.php?id=696557
Mason (guy on the bottom panel) https://inkbunny.net/submissionview.php?id=724286
Midian (pink-haired guy in the back) https://inkbunny.net/submissionview.php?id=652654
:)
Made with \r\n\t\t\t\t\t
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~~
With a loud dejected sigh; Parfait plopped down onto her jackalope friend, Midian's, plush couch with her tail sinking deep within the crevasse of cushions. She was fixated in petulant boredom on the tiny screen of her phone; rapidly scrolling past trending news stories and viral videos on her social feeds. Beside her, an older teenage Samoyed named Lumina who lived with Midian, sat on the furthest end of the couch with her snow-white hands clutching a game controller and her eyes jotting all over the television screen as she muttered occasional gasps and obscenities at the game she was playing.
The young beaver impatiently glanced around the studio apartment; desperate for solace for her eager mind. Midian had been gone a mere half-hour to class and Parfait was already unbearably bored.
"Is this what you do all day?!" Parfait finally exclaimed which sent Lumina into a brief shock. In earnest, Lumina had forgotten of Parfait's existence altogether. She paused her game and glanced over.
"Not 'all' day... but I do like to play games when I can. The hell else am I going to do with the day?"
"I dunno, you could, like... go out?" Parfait rose an eyebrow; thinking that this should have been the answer with the most common sense.
"Mhmm. With all that money I don't have." Lumina started; brushing Parfait's 'ignorance' out the window with a roll of her eyes.
"Psh, you could make money easy if you weren't such a prude!" Parfait said; feeling flustered that the last word came out as 'pwude'. "You should really go out with me some time -- live a liiiiiittle."
"Are you for real?" Lumina's eyes looked like they were about to pop out of her skull any second. "Like... seriously... suggesting what I think you are?"
"What?! Oh, don't be all high and mighty -- you are living on Midian's bloody settee! Whatever... I can see you judging me and I judge you harder!" she flicked her wrist at Lumina with an over-dramatic scoff. "Ms. 'I can't get a job but will happily sit on my ass and play video games all day'!"
Lumina had taken to a fit of laughter at Parfait's expense, clutching her sides as she rolled over in giggles. "Excuse me, 'widdle' girl, at least I have my dignity." she elegantly flipped her bangs over to one side and struck a royal pose.
"Shut it, twat!" Parfait scooped up the nearest pillow and swung blindly at her Samoyed foe -- swiftly, however, being blocked by a casually extended arm.
"I love it when you talk dirty to me 'Porkfat'... do it more.. it feels so good." Lumina gasped out between laughter.
"I hate you! Go die of cancer or something!'" Parfait huffed; pronouncing the illness as 'cansah'.
"Can saw?" Lumina briefly paused from her deadly fit of laughter to stare, with a bit of awe, at Parfait -- obviously judging the hell out of her dialect some more.
"Shut up!" Parfait roared with frustration towards her inability to do retaliate. She felt like slapping this bitch with her tail but she knew Midian wouldn't like that. Midian was lucky... and Lumina was lucky that Midian was lucky.
"Oh, oh, oh... you mean cancer. Oh man, you are so pouty -- it's adorable. Please stop being adorable -- one of my kidneys might explode!" Lumina giggled; barely able to hold it in. She was like a child who was told a good joke but didn't know when it stopped being funny.
Parfait swallowed her pride and stopped responding -- legitimately in rage unbeknownst to Lumina. Weirdly enough, Lumina's teasing wasn't really effective until she called Parfait a 'little girl'. Fuck that. Parfait was the most mature person Parfait knew!
Lumina took a moment of silence in waiting for a clever rebuttal -- but one never came. She was about to playfully apologize when, from across the room where Midian's bed was, they both heard his ringtone sound off.
"I'll get it!" Parfait suddenly burst to life out of her faux-depressed stupor; exclaiming brightly and cheerfully as she physically crawled over the couch and dashed across the room.
"Whoooa! Hey! Wait a second, Porkfat!" Lumina arched her body over the couch -- too lazy to actually get up and stop the beaver. "Common sense, dude! Don't answer his freaking phone, that's rude!"
"Eat me, 'duuude'!" Parfait blurted out before belly flopping on Midian's bed and fishing up his phone. "It's probably his long-distance giiiiirlfriiiieeend~" she teased. "I'm sure Taralyn was just calling to have some phone sex with him and everythiiiiing."
Lumina's face contorted into a mixture of worry and anger. She decided to let it go, though: "Fuck it, I don't care." she obviously pouted and resumed her game -- furiously smashing her fingers into the controller's buttons with audible clicks.
The call was, however, from Mason... not a long distance squirrel-girlfriend -- but a fat bear guy. Parfait, however, thought it was a good opportunity for a little prank on that dumb dog bitch across the room from her.
"Alllooo, Taralyyyyn." Parfait greeted Mason in a singsong voice. She could see Lumina's ears twitch from the couch.
"Greetings and-- wait, Parfait?" Mason was taken aback slightly. "No, dumbass, this is Mason. Do I sound like a female to youuuu?"
"Oh, Taralyn, you're the beeeest." Parfait continued her ruse; kicking her feet in the air as she lie on her belly. "And yeah! This is Parfait in all her glory."
"I don't know what the hell you are doing but go back to gnawing some wood, rodent. I need to talk to Midian."
Parfait fake gasped. "What do you mean you're pregnant?!"
Lumina jumped from the couch and sprinted over to the bed screaming "What?! What?! WHAT?!"
Parfait didn't have a chance to think and she immediately folded; desperately trying to let Lumina know that it was just a joke as she nearly suffocated from laughter. "I can't believe how obvious it is that you loooooove hiiiiim." she stuck her tongue out at the Samoyed.
Lumina looked dead on her feet as she, without another word, limped to the couch with her heart still punching the shit out of her rib cage.
"Parfait? Are you and Lumina fighting or something?" Mason, still annoyed at Parfait's bullshittery, asked.
"Aaah, it's okay. I was just getting her back for calling me a little girl!" she rose her voice consistently as she spoke so Lumina could clearly hear. "Oh... and you wanted to talk to Midian? Yeah, he's either in class or dead... yeah, he's dead." Parfait looked over to see Lumina still stationary -- staring at an active game without contributing anything.
"By Thor's Mighty Hammer -- why does he have to always forget his flippin' phone? I really need him!" Mason sounded impatient; Parfait could hear wind blowing, rustling and shuffling on his end.
"Well... you got me, fatass. You got your Par-dawg... yo? Why's you need that jive, square jackaturkey anyways?"
"What the fuck is wrong with you, tonight?"
"Don't worry about me, dawwwg." she finally fully stopped giggling from her little stunt earlier. "Anyways, seriously, what the heck did you need Midian for?"
"Not that it's your business but I need him to watch the arcade for a few hours."
"I can do that!" Parfait hopped up to her knees and spanked her tail on the bed excitedly. "I'm the best at watching things!"
"It would be stupid of me to leave a child in the care of my--"
"Who else you gonna get?" Parfait rolled onto her back; trying her best to ignore the fact that everyone was calling her a kid today. "I'm responsible so shut up. Probably more responsible than you."
"Ugh... fine, I'll take 10 and come get you." Mason grunted. "But only because I really need someone. I just need you to make sure that, when the mall closes, nobody is in the arcade. I've already locked the place up so it'll be an easy enough job, I guess."
"Mmmm. So, what do I get?"
"What?! You asked me to--"
"I wanna stay the rest of the weekend at your house... and you have to take me out every night anywhere I want!" Parfait gave a large, goofy smile as she said this; clearly pleased with her amazing bartering skills.
"...you can stay over and we order take out. But, we have to agree on what we get... AND you sleep on the fold-out bed in the spare room!"
"Awwww, yo! You're breakin' my heart, fatass." she lazily shifted side to side; calling upon all of the lingo she has heard over the years... like 'yo'.
"Stop talking like that!"
"Okay, okay... but we get take out and I sleep wherever I want!" it was cold this time of the year and she wouldn't accept this deal unless she was able to sleep next to this heat-lamp of a guy.
"..."
"Mason?"
"...fine! Only cause I really need someone to cover me tonight." He conceded; finally taking a breath of relief.
"Yay!" Parfait flailed around in her tiny victory. "Also! Mason? Why are you in such a rush, anyways? This isn't like you."
"Well not that it's your business... but I have a date with a young woman." just as he finished saying that, he could hear Parfait's breathing change over the phone.
"Hmph" Parfait exclaimed; suddenly changing her tone dramatically. "I changed my mind. I'm busy. You can just lose out on a night of business if you are that desperate to get your dick wet." she almost... sounded sad.
"It's not like this is foreign to you." Mason sighed. "Either way, not on a night of business, making sure that my arcade isn't robbed -- dumbass. There has been a spree of robberies at the mall and I would like to make sure mine doesn't become a victim.
"So you're putting a poor, defenseless girl in the store to look after it?" Parfait feigned sympathy with an over dramatic speech pattern. "Blech, fiiiine. If you really love this girl, then I'll try to--"
"Nono, I don't love her."
"Huh?"
"This girl is... well... she is... um... sensitive and weird to say the least. She rambles about Pokemon all the time and won't stop talking about Nintendo. It's frankly insufferable." Parfait could mentally see him rubbing his temples when he said this.
"Sounds like someone I know." Parfait cut in; obviously jabbing at him but feeling alleviated that this wasn't motivated by love. She already couldn't stand Midian's 'lovely' relationship with that long distance squirrelbitch -- she didn't need Mason, as well, to go all googly-eyed over someone. "Though. If you're so annoyed by her -- why are you going out with her?"
"I would like to mate with her."
Parfait cringed; both in the phrasing and intent. "Well, at least it's blunt and douchebaggy. Fine, I'll go get killed by a robber at your arcade, then." She sulked. "Buuuut, you have to fuck me too if you want me to do this."
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me." it felt like this proposition was created from jealousy. "I'll only do this if you fuck me."
"I'm not much in the mood for beavers, right now." Mason bluntly stated. "But you can sleep in my bed. No sex, though."
"...I'll take it." Parfait groaned in defeat. She paused for a bit then a light bulb dinged in her head. "How about a dick pic?"
"PARFAIT, THAT'S MIDIAN'S PHONE." Lumina finally jumped out of her state to scream from the couch. "AND STOP TRYING TO FUCK MASON. THAT'S GROSS. THE DUDE'S DICK IS BIGGER THAN YOU."
"Never mind, never mind! Just come pick me up already! You can show it to me in the car--"
"...I will do no such thin--" Mason tried to drown out Parfait's squealy voice.
"--I'm sick of Lumina's fat... fat fatty fatness."
"YOU ARE SO LUCKY THAT YOUR BULLSHIT DOESN'T BOTHER ME." Lumina barked; obviously bothered.
~~
Parfait drifted over to the closet full of Midian's nerd-junk; mostly old convention items and promotional stuff he and Mason collected from the comic shop. Mason, being the prominent entrepreneurial businessbear that he was, owned his arcade AND co-owned a comic shop. As much as Parfait hated her group of friends' nerd culture thing -- she did respect Mason's ability to make the dough.
"What are you even?" Lumina inquired; having cooled down from her previous fit.
"Trying to look like a giant nerd... I know it's easy for you, but it takes a lot to hide all of my coolness." Parfait exclaimed; proudly slipping on a Luigi cap because... well... it matched her green jacket.
"Oh mah gawd... where did Parfait go?!" Lumina did her best Macaulay-Culkin-Home-Alone-face. "All I see is another mouth-breathing nerd in the room with me! Do you want to play Baldurs Gate or-or uh... show each other our Pogs??" Lumina scoffed with one arm around the couch; watching Parfait almost timidly rummage through the junk.
"What is this?" Parfait held up a collar.
Lumina examined it for a second until pointing her finger upwards; preparing to be very informative: "That's a Space Invade--"
"Cool!" Parfait immediately clipped it on without a second thought.
"Err... okay then." Lumina lazily rested her head on her arm. "Poserrrrrr. You're trying too hard. You don't have to be covered in nerdy shit to look after an arcade for like 2 minutes."
"Laugh it up... you laughing... white... dog... " Parfait mumbled and headed for the door. "You're just jealous that I make this look gooood." she flashed a stupid pose and headed towards the front door. "Hey, Lumina, tell Midian that despite how much I begged you..." she faked a sniffle. "...you kicked me out into the cold to get abducted by some guy in a black cloak named 'Steve from Space'."
"Got it... I'll tell him you went out to go fuck someone."
~~
Parfait watched the road, slightly shivering from the cold. She waited as Mason pulled up outside of Midian's apartment building in his fancy and, always immaculate, van. It hummed silently as it pulled beside her and she wiggled in anticipation of his sweet, sweet heater.
She pulled the door open with as much force as she could and literally sprang into the passenger seat; her bottom colliding with a paper bag. It crinkled loudly. Parfait pulled it out from behind her slowly.
"Set that behind the seat, if you would." Mason started but before he could carry on she had already greedily dropped the contents out all over her lap: A box of large condoms, sex lubricant, and breath mints.
"Ummmmm, jeez," Parfait grinned, "Are you planning on fucking her sister too? That's a lot of junk."
"It's better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it." He said; pulling away from the apartment slowly. Mason always drove like a cautious old woman.
"Mhm... by the way, I'm pretty sure this size won't actually fit you, fatass." Parfait said as she held the condoms up teasingly; knocking the box side to side to listen to its contents shift.
"Firstly, put those down! Have you no civility? This is a public road. And secondly, how would you even know!? You've only ever seen it like once and we were both fairly inebriated, if you remember!"
"Barely. You could refresh my memory... eh? Eeeh?" she jabbed at his plush sides.
"You are unbelievable -- your persistence makes you out to be more of a rapist than anything; if our roles were reversed, this would be a shitty situation."
"Where the hell did that come from?" Parfait snickered. "You love it when I mess with you, big guy~" she stretched her legs and cranked the heater to the max. "Seriously though, these are large," she derailed and went back to the condom-conversation, "You probably need an extra large, at least. We beavers know these things."
"Faye, please, the size estimation on these things are very liberal." he kept his eyes on the road.
"You're probably the first guy who would argue his dick is smaller than he thinks."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"I dunno, you keep saying your dick is small and it's funny." she glanced over to see Mason squinting furiously with disapproval. "Aww, come on! That's a major compliment! I'm saying you could kill someone with that thing." she held the dinky condom wrapper up close to her face. "Seriously though, it's not going to fit."
"Could we stop talking about condoms, please?"
"When you take your dick out, I'll stop." She looked at him so matter-of-factly -- it was disarming.
"I already told you, annoying rodent, that I'm going to do the very thing you keep trying to pressure me to do right now. If I wanted annoying beaver with British accent and anti-blowjob teeth -- I'll call."
"Fine, since you won't do what I say..." she cleared her throat. "...pull behind that grocery store and I'll show you that these condoms won't fit! If you're right about it: I will vacuum your entire shop and even wipe down all the screens."
"You little..." he sighed. "Fine" He did as she said with a pissy frown all the while; pulling in toward the seldom-used back parking.
"Haaah! I can't believe you actually did it!" without missing a beat, Parfait slid over to sit on his knees while facing him; her tail flat against the steering wheel. Excitedly, she undid his jeans regardless of his protests.
"What are you even doing?" He grunted; very shocked at the eagerness in which Parfait slid his large warm flaccid shape out of the fold in his boxers. Despite his bitching, he did nothing physical but glance out the window as she stroked him up and down; feeling him grow in her grasp. She bit her lip excitedly as her heart pounded. His length extended to full mass; both hard and impressive. His resistance weirdly made her heart flutter.
"Just hand me the condom already!" Mason shuddered and blurted finally looking down at her. He was surprised by seeing Parfait looking anxious and shy as she slid her hands up and down his dick; her knees on each side of it. She let out a slow gasp as his large, strong hands grabbed her hips and pulled her closer, her lap grinding against his large member; feeling its heat even through her shorts. Parfait wrapped her arms tightly around Mason's neck; feeling him push her whole body up and down with ease, grinding hard as he pushed against her; nudging her against the steering wheel.
Parfait hadn't anticipated this whole thing to get so intense. She was genuinely gasping as Mason handled her with a hint of roughness. Her heart thudded and pounded in ways she didn't expect as she dug her hands into his fur; hoping he would just forget about whatever other girl he was going to see and just do her.
"What the fuck, Parfait?" her brain screamed as she buried her face in his neck; smelling his sweet fur and shivering with each shift. Quickly, she was snapped out of it as she heard the horrid sound of his phone. Effortlessly he pulled her off. The closeness was over and she was cold again; feeling numbing rejection and confusion. She thought they were literally an inch away from having sex -- but she looked down and noticed that she was still fully clothed. Dammit, she probably should have done something about that when she had the chance.
She wondered how long they had actually been grinding up against each other. 5 seconds? 5 minutes?
Parfait quietly listened to him talk to this random girl. Her jealousy crept up from a place within her -- rarely rummaged through -- her weird and stupid bubbling feelings wouldn't deteriorate. She rarely ever felt this feeling... and here it was all stupid and pink and girly; rising more and more. Quietly, she fiddled with her shirt -- fluttering it around as she believed that this feeling might have just been from the car's heater blasting in her face.
Perhaps she just needed to cool off.
As Mason hung up, she was shocked when he turned -- seemingly to intend to continue on her.
"Mason" she muttered; biting her lip as she bitterly, and immediately, hated herself in this very moment with her subconscious screaming to stay quiet. "Could you, uh..." Her voice was weird and stupid but she wasn't used to feeling so gross and needy like this. "Hummm... do you think we could kis--" she shuffled around in her seat; actually at a loss for words. PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER, DUMBASS -- she screamed at herself.
Mason looked at his watch as Parfait was fumbling over her words. It seems that's what he was shifting his weight to do. Parfait quickly shut herself up before finishing her thought.
"We've wasted too much time here, we should really get going, Ms. Condom-obsesser." Mason stated as he pulled his pants up and tucked away his... thing. "I swear, you're like the master of making people late for things. Speaking of -- I told you I wasn't in the mood for beavers toniiiight. You never listen to me -- yeesh" he playfully stated.
"Oh, uhhh... yeah, sorry." Parfait hastily apologized; sounding very off. She focused on what was in front of her as if her head was being held in place.
Mason glanced at her and could've sworn that she was shivering. "Uhh, no witty retort? You're not being a smart-ass -- what's the matter?"
Parfait took two prolonged and vicious breaths, lowered her shoulders slowly with a tedious exhale, and shut her eyes tightly. She turned her head to look at him with a bit of a conflicted and hurt expression which immediately morphed back into her old slanty-eyed, death-stare. "I was just trying to help, asshole!" she smirked; stifling a sniffle. "Don't come crying to me when you get 38 different STDs from this girl!"
"You mean like the 38 different STDs you probably have?" Mason sighed in relief -- hearing her usual nasty inflections as opposed to that weird sensitive moment she had with herself. Oh well, it was probably nothing.
"My tail is meant to build dams. I will kill you with it." Parfait scoffed.
"I'm like 3 times your size -- it won't matter."
"You just wait until I'm older, dickwad. It'll blow up mountains at that point." she spanked her tail on the car seat like a warning shot.
~~
Despite slightly regaining her composure -- Parfait still, throughout her event-less 'shift' at Mason's arcade, was incredibly distracted by the feeling of having her back pressed against the steering wheel as she was rubbing on that bear's... ah jeez, she couldn't think straight.
She was so distracted, in fact, that she barely noticed the group of 2 obvious hoodlums hanging around the caged off entrance of the arcade on her security camera feeds. She forgot how Mason told her to just call the mall security if she saw anything suspicious -- but she was so out of it that she walked out of the office, up to the entrance, and told the guys to go away. That is, she was about to tell them to go away when one of them called her a cutiepie.
"Oh." she thought. "Awesome!" she knew where this was probably going to go -- and she welcomed it at this point. Between her being super turned on by her little encounter with Mason and her jealousy that he was probably having sex right now -- she just wanted a little... something to do. She ended up opening the gate for the two guys -- assuming they were just two teenage stoners looking to have sex with something that moved.
One of them, a rat, started chatting up Parfait with some of the worst complimentary lines she had ever heard in her life. She had nearly forgotten about the Luigi hat and the Space Invaders collar she put on earlier... but boy, oh boy, this guy seemed to notice it over... and over... and over again.
The other guy, a dog, seemed to have vanished at this point but Parfait didn't care. She ended up pulling her shorts down to 'invite' the rat for a little session. She just wanted relief -- but the rat wasn't really... all that good. It was okay though; she just wanted someone.
A few minutes later, the dog returned with a box of something in his hands -- presumably from the office but Parfait was too engrossed in getting railed against an arcade cabinet to really question it. She could hear his 'what the fuck?' from her peripheral which prompted to rat to stick his thumb out in some sort of silly victory bro-pose.
At this point, everyone was distracted as the dog dropped his stolen items and waited for his turn with the beaver girl.
14 minutes passed of sloppy fondling and a satisfied Parfait ONLY because there were two of them. It was a bit over the mall's closing time when they decided to pull out their 'hardcore bandits' act and clumsily tied a barely responsive Parfait to a chair next to the front desk. She giggled at the weirdness of the situation but, for whatever reason, didn't feel threatened at all. They went from kind of dorky high school boys to some sort of tough guy accent act. They left the snickering Parfait abruptly and skittered out of the arcade; some stolen items in hand.
"Ahhhh shit, Mason's going to kill me." Parfait blew her bangs off of her forehead with an attempted non-caring chuckle. "Whatever. His fault for leaving me in charge of his arcade." She sucked in a ton of air and prepared to exhale it into a call.
Unluckily for the amazing bandit duo, however, they just happened to leave when mall security was tightening up their guard for an unrelated suspected robbery -- then the entire mall hears Parfait's "CAN SOMEONE PLEASE UNTIE ME?"
Wowee, they forgot to duct tape her mouth.
The entire night turned into a weird mishmash of random bullshit happening in sequential order. Parfait got sex, got tied up by suburban high school students, they get caught, and the mall security ends up calling Mason and telling him everything that happened -- assuming Parfait was just some kid who wandered into the arcade and got stuck there after closing time.
She sure went with that assumed excuse.
All of this bullshit was worth it, though, because when she heard that Mason was legitimately concerned for her safety -- she felt like some kind of... important person or something. It was nice.
Despite the fact that she did not get to have sex with Mason that night, at least she got to guilt him into making him snuggle her tightly that night with the line: "But I got assaulted!"