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  "description": "*MEANWHILE*\n\n\nRalf:  Mwahaha... Jared, Jared, I have done it!\n\nJared: Well, clean it up then!\n\nRalf: What?  No, no, that comes later.  I mean, I've finally managed to HACK Sabine Blasendorf's uCloud account.\n\nJared:  And you had to tell me this without wearing pants again?\n\nRalf: There is no time for pants when it comes to hacking!  Come on, I'll show you.\n\nJared: So, what exactly do you have now?  Can we use her uPhone to track her movements or find some documents on there that can clue us in to how they get their supplies?\n\nRalf: Well, no, she doesn't have those apps installed, the bitch.  But I found something even better!\n\nJared: You found her personal information that will allow us to track her address?\n\nRalf: As good as, Jared!  I have... a naked picture of B-to-the-O-R-S.\n\nJared: ...you have exactly sixty seconds to stop wasting my time before I kill you.\n\nRalf:  But look, look at it.\n\nJared: Look at what?  It's grainy, black and white, and has the consistency of a crudely drawn sketch by the look of it.  Whoever created this image should be shot on sight.\n\nRalf:  Come on, Jared, look!  See... he has a penis!\n\nJared: ...\n\nRalf:  A slightly above average size penis!  With some foreskin at the end of it!  We have him in our hands!\n\nJared: ...\n\nRalf: And he's got a scrotum!\n\nJared: ...\n\nRalf: And he probably has an anus too!\n\nJared: *blink blink*\n\nRalf:  Look at the big vein running down the center there.  It's so embarrassing!  We can totally humiliate him on the internet with this.\n\nJared: *facepalms*\n\nRalf: I already have the torrents ready to go!  I can have this on everybody's hard drive in five minutes man!  Then everybody will send him abusive messages telling him that he has that slightly above average size penis, and the humiliation will be unbearable!\n\nJared:  I caught you tweeting pictures of your dick this morning!\n\nRalf: Yeah, but I cleverly didn't include my face in the pictures.  Yes, hawtstuff878 is getting all the ladies with his hot dick pics.  I managed to get a cleavage pic in return.  I can share it with you if you want.\n\nJared: That's it, I'm getting the sword.  I hope you don't have too much attachment to your right hand....\n\nRalf: You may have won this round, Jared... but you have a penis too... probably.\n\nJared: I'm still standing beside you, Ralf.\n\nRalf: Eek! *flees*\n\n\n*LATER THAT NIGHT*\n\n\nKumiko: Oh, yeah, Jared, do me harder... Ooooh!\n\nJared: Yeah, you like that, 'Miko?\n\nKumiko:  More... gimme more...\n\n*FLASH*\n\nJared:  What the--???\n\nRalf: Fuck, I forgot to take off the flash again!  Damn you, uOS 8!\n\nKumiko:  My love, cut his balls off.\n\nJared:  With pleasure.\n\nRalf: Yipe, yipe, yipe, yipe! *runs off*",
  "description_bbcode_parsed": "<span style='word-wrap: break-word;'>*MEANWHILE*<br /><br /><br />Ralf:&nbsp;&nbsp;Mwahaha... Jared, Jared, I have done it!<br /><br />Jared: Well, clean it up then!<br /><br />Ralf: What?&nbsp;&nbsp;No, no, that comes later.&nbsp;&nbsp;I mean, I&#039;ve finally managed to HACK Sabine Blasendorf&#039;s uCloud account.<br /><br />Jared:&nbsp;&nbsp;And you had to tell me this without wearing pants again?<br /><br />Ralf: There is no time for pants when it comes to hacking!&nbsp;&nbsp;Come on, I&#039;ll show you.<br /><br />Jared: So, what exactly do you have now?&nbsp;&nbsp;Can we use her uPhone to track her movements or find some documents on there that can clue us in to how they get their supplies?<br /><br />Ralf: Well, no, she doesn&#039;t have those apps installed, the bitch.&nbsp;&nbsp;But I found something even better!<br /><br />Jared: You found her personal information that will allow us to track her address?<br /><br />Ralf: As good as, Jared!&nbsp;&nbsp;I have... a naked picture of B-to-the-O-R-S.<br /><br />Jared: ...you have exactly sixty seconds to stop wasting my time before I kill you.<br /><br />Ralf:&nbsp;&nbsp;But look, look at it.<br /><br />Jared: Look at what?&nbsp;&nbsp;It&#039;s grainy, black and white, and has the consistency of a crudely drawn sketch by the look of it.&nbsp;&nbsp;Whoever created this image should be shot on sight.<br /><br />Ralf:&nbsp;&nbsp;Come on, Jared, look!&nbsp;&nbsp;See... he has a penis!<br /><br />Jared: ...<br /><br />Ralf:&nbsp;&nbsp;A slightly above average size penis!&nbsp;&nbsp;With some foreskin at the end of it!&nbsp;&nbsp;We have him in our hands!<br /><br />Jared: ...<br /><br />Ralf: And he&#039;s got a scrotum!<br /><br />Jared: ...<br /><br />Ralf: And he probably has an anus too!<br /><br />Jared: *blink blink*<br /><br />Ralf:&nbsp;&nbsp;Look at the big vein running down the center there.&nbsp;&nbsp;It&#039;s so embarrassing!&nbsp;&nbsp;We can totally humiliate him on the internet with this.<br /><br />Jared: *facepalms*<br /><br />Ralf: I already have the torrents ready to go!&nbsp;&nbsp;I can have this on everybody&#039;s hard drive in five minutes man!&nbsp;&nbsp;Then everybody will send him abusive messages telling him that he has that slightly above average size penis, and the humiliation will be unbearable!<br /><br />Jared:&nbsp;&nbsp;I caught you tweeting pictures of your dick this morning!<br /><br />Ralf: Yeah, but I cleverly didn&#039;t include my face in the pictures.&nbsp;&nbsp;Yes, hawtstuff878 is getting all the ladies with his hot dick pics.&nbsp;&nbsp;I managed to get a cleavage pic in return.&nbsp;&nbsp;I can share it with you if you want.<br /><br />Jared: That&#039;s it, I&#039;m getting the sword.&nbsp;&nbsp;I hope you don&#039;t have too much attachment to your right hand....<br /><br />Ralf: You may have won this round, Jared... but you have a penis too... probably.<br /><br />Jared: I&#039;m still standing beside you, Ralf.<br /><br />Ralf: Eek! *flees*<br /><br /><br />*LATER THAT NIGHT*<br /><br /><br />Kumiko: Oh, yeah, Jared, do me harder... Ooooh!<br /><br />Jared: Yeah, you like that, &#039;Miko?<br /><br />Kumiko:&nbsp;&nbsp;More... gimme more...<br /><br />*FLASH*<br /><br />Jared:&nbsp;&nbsp;What the--???<br /><br />Ralf: Fuck, I forgot to take off the flash again!&nbsp;&nbsp;Damn you, uOS 8!<br /><br />Kumiko:&nbsp;&nbsp;My love, cut his balls off.<br /><br />Jared:&nbsp;&nbsp;With pleasure.<br /><br />Ralf: Yipe, yipe, yipe, yipe! *runs off*</span>",
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