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when I enjoy my blue chandelier too much for your liking...such lovely grunts and guttural noises he makes, doesn’t he? Why the ring gag, you ask? Well, it is merely because his mouth is too foul for my liking, otherwise. Very odd, you cannot force him to sing, and these days he is nearly silent, but that mouth has other uses. What for? That is not to be discussed in the prescience of company. All I shall say the guardian is quite skilled at swallowing when properly encouraged.\n\n What does he guard? Perhaps I should have been more clear; FORMER guardian. Heh, heh...he still snarls nicely when I bring that up. Such a failure, eh, my little bird? He guards his ancestral home no more, his precious gem is mine, and his island home that once soared through the sky now rests deep under the ocean depths. I timed his island’s fall well, you see. This is his only home now, where he shall never leave. See those thick, padded mittens he wears; they cover the most remarkable spikes that rise from the backs of his hands, a bizarre genetic trait, but no worries, the padded mits sufficiently blunt them. His impressive strength is just as equally useless confined so, but it is a pity his glare bears no edge for me anymore.\n\n Come along, this caged failure bores me when I cannot amuse myself with his mou- ahem. That is, he bores me when I am not alone.\n\n", "description_bbcode_parsed": "      Why hello, my lovely red bird, singing away in the hall as you often do when I enjoy my blue chandelier too much for your liking...such lovely grunts and guttural noises he makes, doesn’t he?  Why the ring gag, you ask?  Well, it is merely because his mouth is too foul for my liking, otherwise.  Very odd, you cannot force him to sing, and these days he is nearly silent, but that mouth has other uses.  What for?  That is not to be discussed in the prescience of company.  All I shall say the guardian is quite skilled at swallowing when properly encouraged.

      What does he guard?  Perhaps I should have been more clear; FORMER guardian.  Heh, heh...he still snarls nicely when I bring that up.  Such a failure, eh, my little bird?  He guards his ancestral home no more, his precious gem is mine, and his island home that once soared through the sky now rests deep under the ocean depths.  I timed his island’s fall well, you see.  This is his only home now, where he shall never leave.  See those thick, padded mittens he wears; they cover the most remarkable spikes that rise from the backs of his hands, a bizarre genetic trait, but no worries, the padded mits sufficiently blunt them.  His impressive strength is just as equally useless confined so, but it is a pity his glare bears no edge for me anymore.

      Come along, this caged failure bores me when I cannot amuse myself with his mou- ahem.  That is, he bores me when I am not alone.

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