Donnie frowned as his eyes flicked to the clock in the corner of his computer screen, it was almost three O’clock in the morning and Raph still wasn’t home. He lets his fingers run over his shell-cell for the third time that hour as he contemplated ringing the hot-head to make sure he was alright.

Raph had stormed out of the lair that morning after an argument with Leo, which wasn’t exactly unusual, but he was usually back before now. The fact that he’d stayed out meant one of two things: either he was out fighting on his own, or he’d been drinking. Either way he’d probably need help as soon as he got in.

A loud crash from the living room startled Donnie out of his thoughts, quickly rushing into the main room, only to find Raph face down on the floor; Mikey’s skateboard rolling into the wall with a soft thud.

Donnie sighed, shaking his head as he made his way to help his brother to stand up, hoping that he wasn’t injured too badly. He’d only got halfway across the room when the smell from Raph betrayed how he’d spent the day. The potent smell of alcohol almost choked Donnie as he approached his drunken brother.

“Raph?”

One of the doors upstairs opened to reveal Leo’s worried face. Donnie could see the tell-tale signs of a flickering candle through the crack in the door, meaning that Leo had stayed up for some late-night meditation instead of sleeping. Leo never slept if one of them was out of the lair.

“I got it.” Donnie called up, muttering an apology as he saw Raph flinch slightly at his raised voice. 

Leo’s eye narrowed, stepping further out of his room to get a better view of them. Once he saw Donnie sneak one arm under Raph’s and pull him to his feet, he seemed to accept that his purple-banded brother had everything under control. He tilted his head slightly to the side, silently asking Donnie if he wanted any help, but Donnie just rolled his eyes, shifting Raph’s weight slightly as he helped him lean against the wall.

Leo tried to stifle a yawn, retreating back to his room in silence, looking back hesitantly before shutting his door. He was uneasy about leaving Donnie to look after Raph, but he was too tired to argue, and he trusted that his intellectual brother would call him if he needed any help.

Raph was very unpredictable when he was drunk. He acted different depending on what was going through his head when he started drinking; if he was angry then he could be violent, if he was upset then he was over emotional. Without knowing the reason behind Raph’s drinking nobody had any idea what to expect from him.

Donnie was grateful when he felt Raph wrap his arms around him and squeeze him into a tight hug; he’d dealt with clingy Raph plenty of times before, he knew he wasn’t in any danger.

“Love you, Don.” Raph muttered into Donnie’s neck, leaning heavily against the taller mutant.

“You’re drunk Raph, you probably won’t even remember this in the morning.” Donnie had to hold back from laughing as he felt Raph pouting against his shoulder.

Donnie pushed Raph’s arms away, grabbing the bottom of his carapace to help keep him standing. Winding one of his arms around his shoulders he guided him towards the wall so that he could help support himself; even though Donnie was quite strong thanks to their training, he knew he couldn’t support Raph’s weight by himself for long.

Almost as soon as Raph started to lean against the wall, he swung around to lean all his weight onto his hands, trapping Donnie between his arms with his shell to the wall. 

Donnie opened his mouth to object but his words were lost in his throat, inhaling sharply to ward off the churr he could feel building in his chest as Raph started to nuzzle against his neck.

“R.Raph?!” Donnie gasped out, his hands pushing lightly against Raph’s plastron.

Raph mumbled something into Donnie’s neck, making the younger turtle moan lightly from the vibrations against his pulse.

Donnie managed to brace himself against the wall and regretfully push his brother away, grabbing the bottom of Raph’s shell once more to stop him from falling over. Raph groaned, pouting as Donnie once again started to walk him over to the stairs.

“Let’s just get you to your room so you can sleep it off” Donnie’s heart was pounding as he held Raph tight to his side. 

He didn’t want to stop Raph from showing him that kind of affection, but he felt too strongly about him to take advantage of him while he was drunk.

He knew that the fact that they were male didn’t make a difference to them; Raphael had come out to the family the day before, and Donnie had supported him by admitting that he didn’t have any sexual preferences. 

The fact that they were brothers might be an issue for the rest of the family though. Donnie didn’t think that they were actually related; they were all different shades of green, their eyes were different colours and they all had different patterns on their shells, so Donnie didn’t feel weird about that.

He hoped that Raph actually liked him back, and it wasn’t just the drink talking.

As they passed an open door Raph tripped, knocking them both to the floor of the dojo. Donnie landed awkwardly on Raph’s shell, rolling off the elder’s carapace, gasping for breath as he was winded by the impact.

For a few minutes they stayed like that; sprawled out on the floor gasping as they recovered from the fall. Donnie started to stand as soon as he began to get his breath back. Raph struggled to sit up, too drunk to be able to right himself. 

They had learnt as children how to stop themselves from getting stuck on their back; either by using their arms and legs to push themselves off the ground enough to get up, or by rocking on their shells until they flipped over onto their plastrons or managed to roll onto their knees. In his drunken state Raph couldn’t seem to manage by himself.

Donnie held out his hands for Raph to take, leaning backwards to use himself as a counterweight against his much heavier brother.

He managed to pull Raph about ten centimetres off the ground before Raph pulled too hard and sent Donnie falling onto his plastron.

Raph churred, apparently taking his brothers fall as an invitation to bring his arms around him; one of his hands stroked up his shell to rest against the base of Donnie’s neck, while the other found its way to Donnie’s tail.

Donatello couldn’t hold back the churr as Raph started to stroke the sensitive digit, automatically un-tucking it so that Raph could reach it easier.

Donnie wanted to give in completely to his touch, but the smell of alcohol on his brother’s breath kept him from getting lost in the moment. His hand came up to grip at Raph’s plastron, not pulling him closer, but not quite pushing him away.

“We. We can’t.” Donnie tried to sit up, but the hand on his tail moved up his back, keeping him from moving away. The hand on his neck forced his head to tilt downwards, pressing them into an awkward kiss. Raph’s hold went slack as he moaned into the kiss, allowing Donnie to pull away.

“We’ll talk about this in the morning, okay?” Donnie promised, his eyes softening as he nuzzled his head against Raph’s hand affectionately. “Once you’re sober.” He added, licking his lips slightly as he felt the lingering taste of Raph’s favourite beer.

Raph’s eyes widened only to narrow again a second later, a dangerous smirk settling over his features. Wrapping both arms firmly around Donnie, he used his brother’s weight to flip himself over, trapping the young genius underneath him.

“Want you now.” He growled seductively, slurring the words slightly, his lips trailed down the olive-coloured neck to kiss and lick at the skin.

Donnie’s heart was racing. His body already starting to react to Raph’s actions.“S.Stop.” His voice came out as a broken moan as he fought to free himself, panicking as he started to smell his brother’s arousal over the alcohol.

“Raph, don’t!” Donnie squirmed underneath his brother, trying to free himself from the limbs that were holding him down. 

“Shhh.” Raph hissed, pressing his hand against Donnie’s mouth harshly to try and keep him quiet. “Don’t need fearless to hear us, do we?”

He churred deeply as he started to grind against his trapped brother. The hand on Donnie’s mouth relaxed as he was forced to lean all his weight onto the rest of his limbs so he didn’t crush him.

Donnie managed to push himself out from under his brother, using Raph’s uneven balance to slide backwards. He started struggling to his feet, but he didn’t manage to stand before Raph grabbed hold of his legs, pulling him back down to the ground with a bang as his shell hit the exercise mat. His neck snapped backwards with the force of the fall, smacking his head against the floor with enough force to make his vision swim out of focus. His mind went blank.

The next time Donnie opened his eyes, Raph was straddling his thighs, efficiently pinning him to the ground, vaguely aware that his hands were being pulled over his head. 

Raph held both of Donnie’s wrists in one hand, the other hand trailing down his arm and across his sides. His face was inches away from his brothers, the smell of alcohol making Donnie choke as he came back to his senses, struggling against Raph’s heavy weight pinning him down.

“Raphie, Please!” Even though Raph wasn’t in his right mind he picked up on the childish nick-name; his brothers only ever used it when they were scared, or if they needed something from him.

“Not so loud Don.” Raph churred happily, mistaking what his brother wanted from him as he smashed their beaks together in a sloppy kiss. 

Donnie kept his beak firmly closed, resisting his brothers attempts at forcing his tongue inside. 

Raph growled challengingly, nipping at Donnie’s beak as he forcing his hand between his brother’s legs to grab his tail, taking advantage of the younger turtles surprise to slip his tongue into his mouth.

Donnie wasted no time in biting down, causing his hot-headed brother to yelp, growling deep in his throat as he quickly pulled away.

Donnie tried to shout out again, remembering that Leo was still awake upstairs and might be able to hear him.

He had no such luck.

Raph pulled his mask off to shove into his mouth, effectively gagging him before reaching down to grab one of his sai’s from his belt.

Donnie’s eyes widened, growing silent as he caught sight of the dull metal weapon, watching as Raph ran the blunt tip over his plastron.

“So. You wanna play rough, huh Donnie-Boy?” Raph smirked, slurring his words slightly as he grinned down at the trapped body beneath him. His eyes, even slightly unfocused, were shining wickedly.

Raph stabbed the sai above his brother’s head and Donnie thanked whatever god there may be that Raph had hit his mark. The point of his weapon sank into the ground of the dojo floor between Donnie’s hands, his wrists trapped between the two prongs.

He fought against the blunt metal, grateful that Raph had chosen to take his rounded defensive set of sai that morning, instead of the thin sharp set he usual favoured.

His whimpers were smothered by the fabric of Raph’s mask as his brother started to leave small bites across his neck and shoulder, only to sooth the aggravated skin a moment later by licking his tongue over the red marks.

One of Raph’s hands moved across Donnie’s sensitive sides, making gentle patterns as he softly caressed the skin. His rough treatment seemed to melt away into soft affectionate touches.

Raph shifted so that he was still pinning Donnie’s legs with his own, but his hand had better access to work its way back between Donnie’s legs to reach the sensitive olive digit.

Donnie was terrified, but his traitorous body started to feel the effects of Raph’s actions. A strangled moan mixed in with his whimpers as his brother gently massaged his tail.

Donnie’s head spun with emotional whiplash; Raph switched between aggressive and soft too quickly for his mind to keep up with, the uncertainty scaring Donnie even more then he already was.

Raph slipped his way downwards, nipping lightly at his brother’s plastron as his arms moved to pin Donnie’s thighs. His legs slipped away from Donnie’s, half kneeling to settle in between them. 

He nuzzled against the hidden arousal, running his beak along the sensitive slit.

Donnie couldn’t help the loud churr that rumbled from his chest; despite his fear the pleasurable sensation of being touched so intimately automatically caused him to harden. His erection started to peek out of his shell, pushing through the soft cartilage of his plastron to brush against Raph’s waiting beak.

Raph answered Donnie’s churr with one of his own, licking at the exposed head of his unwilling partner, encouraging more of it to emerge itself from inside the protective pouch and into his waiting mouth. His actions were clumsy, his tongue slapped against the hot flesh and his lips couldn’t decide what they were meant to do, but it still sent a wave of pleasure through the younger turtle.

The make-shift gag didn’t muffle Donnie’s pleasured cries as much as he’d of liked, his whole body trembled as he tried to fight against Raph, but his mind was starting to give way to a hazy fuzz. His thrashing legs bordered on a desperate thrust and his screams of protest mixed in with loud moans and churrs.

He whimpered, forcing his trembling legs to stay still when he started to feel Raph’s teeth against the side of his cock. But there wasn’t any pain, just a faint scrape that dragged along his shaft, almost threateningly.

Donnie’s hips thrust forward as Raph moved to pay attention to the tip of his penis, embedding the organ deep into his brother’s mouth.

He pulled away quickly with a pained cry, leaning up on his hands while he started coughing, dry retching slightly as his gag reflex kicked in.

Donnie barely registered his brother’s predicament. His pleasure quickly melting back into panic as his eyes locked onto the think curved shaft that was bobbing along with his owners coughs. 

Understandably put-off from continuing the sloppy blow-job, Raph settled back against his brother, lapping at a few beads of sweat that had formed against his skin.

Donnie shook vigorously, high-pitched whimpering somewhat muffled, trying push his legs closed. The way Raph was led on top of him meant that his cock rested between Donnie’s legs, and it didn’t take a genius like him to work out where Raph was planning to go next.

“Relax bro.” Raph purred, nuzzling into Donnie’s neck as a hand came up to gently caress his cheek. “I gotta prep ya first.”

Donnie’s eyes squeezed shut as a finger started to push against his entrance, thrashing his head from side to side; unable to verbally tell Raph to stop.

Raph grunted as the tensed muscles of Donnie’s opening stopped his finger from penetrating his little brother, for a moment he just stared down at the bottom of Donnie’s plastron, head tilted slightly in confusion.

Donnie hoped that Raph would give up, but a few seconds later his eyes light up with a sudden idea; sucking his finger into his mouth, he brought it back down covered in a very thin layer of saliva, pushing forcefully inside the tight hole.

The gag muffled the sound, but Donnie’s pained cry still rang throughout the dojo, his purple mask damp with tears from the painful intrusion. Raph didn’t give him time to get used the finger inside him before he started thrusting harshly; he either couldn’t hear Donnie’s pain or chose to ignore it.

Somewhere in the back of his mind Donnie registered that he should be grateful that his drink addled brother even remembered to try and prepare him, but it was hard to feel gratitude with Raph’s finger stabbing painfully inside him.

After a few moments of thrusting he seemed to deem him ready and Donnie could see that his finger was slightly smeared with red. 

He spat into his hand before stroking himself leisurely. His eyes half closed in pleasure, churring loudly as his gaze roamed all over the olive-skinned body beneath him.

He guided his member towards the badly stretched hole, leaning his other hand against the ground next to Donnie’s head. He thrust inside suddenly, dipping his head to bite Donnie’s neck to muffle his scream of pleasure.

Donnie felt as if he was being torn apart from the inside, tears streamed down his cheeks as he bit down hard on the fabric in his mouth to try and distract his mind from the pain. 

Donnie was relieved when his body started to become numb from the pain a few minutes later. Raph’s hard, fast thrusting still burning his insides, but the pain lessened slightly.

Donnie’s loud screams ebbed down to soft sobs, his tears silently slipping down his face as he continued to stare up at the ceiling. 

“So, tight.” Raph was curring almost non-stop, eyes closed in ecstasy and moaning loudly. “Feels… so good.”

Donnie grunted in faint acknowledgement, slowly losing focus as his body started to slip into a state of shock. 

He didn’t move or say anything as Raph finished. His arms staying above his head even after the sai was removed. 

His brother fell asleep cuddled up against his plastron; the arm lightly draped across Donnie’s chest felt like it was made of lead.

His eyes burned with tears that had ran out. He was surprisingly light headed, the situation too heavy for him to fully accept.

Raphael; the brother that he had secret feelings for, had raped him. The truth was there. He knew what happened, but it didn’t sink in.

His mind swam in disarray as he drifted into unconsciousness. His thoughts too disorganized for him too understand.

But one thing kept surfacing in the sea of confusion.

Even after what just happened, Donnie still loved him.