Donnie was very much a lifeless doll, just following Raph while he let himself be led to the kitchen and sat down in a chair at the table.

Mikey had already laid out food for them, once again trying to put mainly finger foods but some of the better stuff needed to have cutlery.

Michelangelo sighed and cuddled up to Leo while they watched Raph take Donnie off to get some food. "I wanna do something more to help him. I feel so useless." He could make amazing food for them and help be the kind brother, but Don spent so much time with Raph that he only seemed to want to open up to him now.

Leonardo nodded in agreement. It was hard to watch and not being able to do anything. But Raphael was the only one who knew how to fix Donnie and to bring him back from whatever world his mind was stuck in. Even though Raph said that he felt useless, he wasn't. He was the one Donnie sought out comfort from the most. Who he sought protection from.

Raph was more helpful then he realized, while Leo and Mikey were the ones watching from the shadows.

Leo pulled his little brother closer and frowned. "You're not useless, Mikey. We've done all that we can. Donatello was bound to get lost within himself sooner or later. He has been through so much than we can even understand."

"I know, just...I feell bad that I don't even know him. I can't even remember him growing up like you can." To Mikey he had suddenly gained a broken brother that he couldn't even help recover now that they'd finally met.

Raphael sighed as he sat down next to Donatello and made him a small plate of food, putting it in front of him. The way Donnie just sat there was breaking him inside.

"Don'tcha wanna get bedda? Don't give in ta it Donnie. Don' get lost within yerself. It's not something that ya wanna do. But I can't help ya, if ya won't let me."

Donnie looked at the food but made no move to eat it. After a while he looked back up at Raph with a defeated look in his eyes. "I'm not hungry." The three short words were blunt and to the point, said without a single stutter or fault

Leonardo just held Mikey close and watched from across the room. He could tell that Raphael was getting frustrated. Which is why he stayed within the room, to help or intervene if he needed to.

Raphael was frustrated. Though, underneath all that was a breaking heart. Donatello had done something to him last night. Had taken something that he could never get back. Raph had shared himself with Donnie.

And now, this is how Donnie was choosing to act.

He wasn't having it.

"Then what else is there for me to do, Don? Ya won't eat. Ya won't talk ta me. Ya just sit there not doing anything." Raph calmed down and bit his lip. He should not be getting angry at Donnie. He was the one who was broken.

Then why did he feel as though their roles were reversed? Raph was the helpless one, while Donnie was the adult. His head began to feel numb.

"Tell me Don, tell me what I need ta do."

"I don't know..." Donnie sighed before looking back down. His voice was quiet and almost too soft to be heard properly even in the silent Lair.

He didn't know who he was, or who he was now. He had two stories inside his head, where his brothers were either his saviors or his enemies.

Raph's kiss had changed him, given him a taste of a life that could have been his if things were different. A life of love and education where everything was perfect and he didn't even know of abuse... But it was a dream. Like his denial had been a dream. His desperation to please in case of punishments

He didn't care if he got punished now. It was only another mark on his skin to add to his already painted skin.

Why did anything matter..

Raphael watched as Donatello was lost within his thoughts. Though, there were so many things going through Raph's mind as well.

Guilt.

Regret.

Anger.

Sadness.

Ever since he kissed Donnie, that was when Raphael noticed that Don had changed. Ever since he gently kissed and nipped at his skin. An act of affection was turned around and smacked in his face by tears streaming down olive cheeks.

Don had referred to him as his Master, a kind one. Raphael was not the smaller's master, nor was he kind. His actions had caused Donnie to break beyond compare.

And it was all his fault. He caused this pain.

"I did this to you." It was not a question nor a demand. A statement that cut through like a blade to Raphael's heart. This... emptiness that Don was feeling it was all his fault. He failed him.

"No" Again the word was simple but there was a little more force behind it this time as he turned to face Raph with a bit more fire in his eyes.

The larger turtle was about to retort when Donnie said no, but stopped when the smaller finally turned to face him. His breath caught in his throat when he seen Donatello's face.

As though he were looking at him for the first time.

Raph had been nothing but good to him, feeding him, washing him, even pleasuring him without pain.

If he knew one thing it was that he could see more clearly now because of Raph. Clearly see the suffering he'd been through.

He'd just accepted the abuse as normal everyday living, not knowing any different. But now he was realising what a family was meant to be, old memories fighting learned behaviors inside him and leaving no power left for Don to consciously think to deep.

His brown eyes held a deep fire within them, his features were no longer broken and he was no longer empty. Donnie looked normal for the first time since they brought him here. More like himself, or how he used to be.

Raph held Donnie's gaze for a long time, his features had softened as well. His golden eyes sharing that same fire as Don's. No words were exchanged, they didn't need to.

Perhaps, maybe, just maybe. Everything would get better.

Suddenly Donnie looked away sharply, not wanting to look into those loving eyes any longer. Everything made sense but he didn't want it to. Didn't want to believe that his whole life was an abusive lie.

"Can I go back to my room..." His voice was just as lifeless as before. Like he was just a shell of a turtle while his real self was fighting inside.

The realisation that he didn't know anything hit him hard. He couldn't even feed himself properly. They never trusted him to clean himself up and sometimes even stayed to watch him sleep to keep an eye on him.

If he was left on his own he wouldn’t do anything. Raph telling him the truth seeped into his mind and he hadn't been able to think clearly since. He didn't know the rules or how he was meant to live any more and it made tears come back to his eyes as he sat in silence for permission to leave

Raphael watched as Donatello quickly returned into a lifeless turtle. And it broke his heart. What had happened? What had he done wrong?

The hothead thought they were making progress just then. Was that not true? Was that look in Donnie's eyes a lie? No, it could not be. That one look was far too strong.

But the soft demand got his attention. And it hurt. Donnie did not want to be around him. The smaller wanted to get away from him. And just like before, Raph could not say no.

"Ya don' gotta ask, ya can do what you want." Raphael mumbled, not even looking at the smaller turtle anymore. There was nothing he could do. And knowing that was killing him inside.

"I'd rather you did." He admitted, sadly.

He'd only done what he was told all his life, not really able to do anything right now without orders, he was dead inside and didn't have to will do do anything himself.

He liked the affection and the kiss, the bite had just reminded him how bad it used to be and since he had only been cared for and pleasured it hit him even harder with the difference. It was a shock to his system to have his life flipped around so quickly

Raphael looked at Donatello in confusion. What was the smaller talking about. What did he mean by 'I'd rather you did'. Did he want Raph to tell him what to do?

"Donnie, look at me."

Raph ordered gently and gripped the underside of Don's chin to force him to look up at him. "I don't know what's going on through your head right now. But don't shut me out. Please tell me what's going on.   I - I don't want to lose you again."

Dons head jerked upwards instantly at the command to look at Raph, locking eyes with a spark of life that he didn't have to think about what to do.

"I'm not going anywhere...." He couldn't go anywhere if he wanted too. He wasn't fit to go back to the foot now that he suspected the truth, even then he didn't know if they would accept him back or punish him for being gone.

"I don't know how I feel..."

Raphael could see it in Don's eyes. He was confused. Lost inside himself.

Raph needed to be with Donnie alone. The larger turtle stood up and grabbed for Dons wrist, gently leading Don into the hotheads room.

He closed his door and had Don sit on the workbench within his room and Raphael kneeled in front of him.

"Ever since I kissed ya, something happened. Did I awake bad memories? Did I cause ya ta cry? I just... I can't stand ta see ya so upset. What ya did fer me back there. I enjoyed what we had shared. Ya did something ta me an' it was good. But I wanna know what I did wrong."

"I'd never been kissed..." The abused turtle said with a slight smile, looking back down to the floor without really elaborating.

Raphael felt deep pride rise up from hearing that he had stolen Don's first kiss. Actually, Donnie had stolen everything from him. But in a good way. And Raph did not once regret it.

Don had liked the kiss despite not really understanding it or why they did it. It was something that was shared between them both, not one sided and felt good for both of them.

It was just the biting. Which actually felt nice but, it could have done damage if Raph had bit down like had happened in the past.

He brought a hand up to rub at a scar on his neck, it was a deep one and it had two dots on either side where it had clearly been stitched up.

Someone had bitten down on his neck deeply and accidentally bit into his jugular. He was honestly surprised that he'd survived and was deeply scarred emotionally from it.

However, Raph frowned when Donatello placed his hand onto his neck and that was when he saw it. The two bite marks that could be mistaken for fangs had cut deeply into Don's skin.

Raph remembered gently nibbling at the tender flesh. Could that have been what triggered this?

Raphael brought his hand up to Donnie's cheek and caressed it gently, his other hand gently caressing the scar on the smaller neck. "Ya know I would never hurt ya. Ever. Whatever they did to ya... I wont. You've been through so much Donnie. But yer not alone, not anymore. You'll never have to go through that ever again."

Donnie pressed into the hand on his cheek, enjoying the touch like he soaked up every physical act of affection.

He tensed a little tough as he lowered his hand for Raph to see the scar. "I had stitches... Lost so much blood I... I thought I was going to die."

His voice started to shake with the traumatic memories and tears appeared back in his eyes. It was something that he barely thought about, not many people were interested in biting his neck and after that incident most stayed away from it.

It was just a painful memory while he was in bliss from being pleasured by Raph, it had shocked his system to the point he shut down to cope.

Raphael instantly pulled Donatello close to his chest. Allowing the smaller to cry. The hothead spread smoothing strokes on the smaller's shell.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know."

Raph spoke softly, just holding Donnie tightly and giving him the comfort he so desperately needs. If the hothead known... He would have never of done it. Nor go near Donnie's neck. But the damage was done.

Donnie was shaking as he curled back up in Raph's arms, crying softly and he nuzzled Raph's chest. He loved the caressing and it did help to calm him down a little, but Like Raph had thought the damage was done.

He was starting to show more signs of his abuse in his eyes, now they weren't as bright as before, looking less childlike and innocent and more sad and affected by his harsh life.

He couldn't cope with everything changing so quickly, he wanted orders and just to serve a master that cared for him and... loved him. He didn't even know what love was, he'd never been loved until now.

Raphael just held Donatello and did not say anything. The larger turtle rubbed his hand over the smaller shell and nuzzled him gently.

The large turtle lifted Dons head up and slowly wiped the tears away. A frown on his face when he seen all the sorrow and depression within them.

Donnie should not look like this. He should be happy. Don's face should be full of life.