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I'm almost sure this completely falls apart for any sense of real police or legal procedure. \n\nFlagged Adult for discussion of sexual themes, drug use, and lots of coarse fucking language.\n\nTony Newhouse - started from a loose translation of the name Casanova. \nRafael Mizrahi - Middle Eastern name befitting a Syrian hamster.\nThe transcriptionist, never seen or heard, but still my favorite character.\nEveryone else is (c) Disney/Pixar, and I hope I got the characterizations close enough. \n\nI'll release any claim to money or fame (I don't have either) as I mainly write to get something out of my head so it'll quit bugging me.", "description_bbcode_parsed": "Had this idea not long after I saw the movie, and it wouldn't go away. I'm almost sure this completely falls apart for any sense of real police or legal procedure.

Flagged Adult for discussion of sexual themes, drug use, and lots of coarse fucking language.

Tony Newhouse - started from a loose translation of the name Casanova.
Rafael Mizrahi - Middle Eastern name befitting a Syrian hamster.
The transcriptionist, never seen or heard, but still my favorite character.
Everyone else is (c) Disney/Pixar, and I hope I got the characterizations close enough.

I'll release any claim to money or fame (I don't have either) as I mainly write to get something out of my head so it'll quit bugging me.", "writing": "ZOOTOPIA POLICE DEPARTMENT HEADQUARTERS\n\nIt was close to quitting time, when Chief Bogo heard uproarious laughter coming from Clawhauser's desk. He recognized two of the voices, Hopps and Wilde.\n\nJudy, in between paroxysms of giggles, managed to gasp out something about an engine and a water pump, followed by \"fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck!\" and all three of them were yukking it up again.\n\nNick barely managed to gasp out, \"Chief... can we keep that transcriptionist?\" and then the fox was guffawing again. \n\n[q]TRANSCRIPTIONIST'S NOTE: Enclosed are two versions of the interview. \nIn the first, Mizrahi's multiple redundant uses of 'fuck,' 'fucking,' 'motherfucker,' 'fucker,' etc. have been reduced; this document, double spaced, is 36 pages. Printing the abridged version is recommended to save paper. The second document, 81 pages, is the full unabridged transcript with all Fucks given...[/q]\n\nBogo laughed heartily, but he didn't think it was funny enough to splat several doughnuts. Clawhauser had made enough of a mess doing that. By now Judy was starting to regain her composure, but still wheezing in between giggles.\n\nThe Chief almost wished he'd left his reading glasses in his office. The single-spaced transcript had several pages where Mizrahi had said nothing but Fuck... for what must have been minutes at a time. \n\n[q]Mizrahi: \"Look who da fuck dragged in! Nicky, you gone from fuckin' sugar slinger to a fuckin' badge? Where da fuckin' world fuckin' off to now?\"\n\nWilde: *laughing* \"Rafe, I have to look you up again, you must have got busted while I was at the academy!\"\n\nMizrahi: \"Hey, Nicky? Favor for favor... I talk to you, you get a dentist for me? My teeth are gettin' too fuckin' long, and these fuckin' bars ain't fuckin' worth a fuckin' fuck for gnawing.\"[/q]\n\nBogo skipped over a few pages of transcript.\n\n[q]Wilde: \"You ever deal with a goat named Tony Newhouse?\"\n\nMizrahi: \"Name dudden't ring a fuckin' bell. I didn't fuckin' deal much with fuckin' goats, you fuckin' got a mug o' th'fuck?\"\n\nJudy: \"This guy?\"\n\nTRANSCRIPT NOTE: Image Attachment 293478659817625_NEWHOUSE_04662.bmp\n\nMizrahi: \"THAT fuckin' fuck... fuck da fuckin' fucked fucker... Fucker's name's Tony? I thought he was Duncan somethin' or other, 'cuz other fuckers called him Drunk and Disorderly. I didn't fuckin' wanna fuck with him. Told him to go fuck himself lotsa fuckin' times. He wouldn't fuckin' take a fuckin' hint to fuck off.\"[/q]\n\nBogo skimmed the next few pages.\n\nNewhouse's file (included with the transcript) did give an alias of 'Drunk and Disorderly', and a long list of arrests for public intoxication. Not really news, but it did confirm Mizrahi's passing familiarity with Newhouse. \nNick knew of Tony Newhouse, but only in the form of 'stay away from gangsta goats.'\n\n[q]Hopps: \"When was the last time you heard of him?\"\n\nMizrahi: \"Long fuckin' time ago... before that whole fuckup with the fuckin' mayor went fuck off, I heard fuckin' Drunkard got arrested again... But now ya fuckin' ask, that's the last I fuckin' heard of the fuck, long before I got fuckin' booked.\"\n\nJudy: \"What kinds of drugs did Newhouse want to buy?\"[/q]\n\nChief Bogo remembered Mizrahi - he'd even arrested the rodent once, when he was still a Sergeant. Sales of Marijuana, Peyote, and Catnip were all on the hamster's file; Mizrahi had even gotten a lighter sentence for providing information about dealers who were selling PCP, Heroin, Crack Cocaine, Methamphetamines, and Benzodiazepines. The hamster's intel had already led to several arrests, including a bust on a processing facility full of Cocaine, Jimsonweed, and Ephedra. Bogo thought it was a clever ploy, using the cops to eliminate the more dangerous competitors.\nHence why Mizrahi must have deemed this okay to talk about without asking for a lawyer.\n\n[q]Mizrahi: \"Drunkard wanted fuckin' hard shit. Crystal, Angel Dust, fuckin' Smack, fuckin' Rock... all the fuckin' science fuck. Sometimes he wanted fuckin' 'shrooms, Moco Loco, fuckin'... fuckin'... da fuck, weird fuckin' name, burnin'-dangle-fuck, weird fuckin' plants he'd fuckin' ask for. Fucker wanted to get fucked up beyond fuckin' belief on fucked up fuckin' shit, I say fuck da fuck off, told him to go fuck himself.\"[/q]\n\nNewhouse's record mentioned using most of the above, but crystallized methamphetamine was new. Bogo had heard the name Burundanga, but all he knew was that it was a plant extract with nasty uses.\n\n[q]Wilde: \"Have you seen the effects of some of the stuff on the market? Any users ever take it right there at the sale?\"\n\nMizrahi: *growl* \"Told'ja, I stuck to the fuckin' feel goods, the stuff you take to fuckin' mellow out; I watched other dealers hook up smack,\" the hamster visibly shuddered, \"An' the fuckin' heads got their fuckin' needles on right da fuck there. That's why I never fucked with it, and fuckin' stuck to the fuckin' feel-goods.\"\n\nHopps: \"Have you ever seen a drug make anyone act like this?\" \n\nTRANSCRIPT NOTE: 347712345_93142982_Newhouse_Tony_001.mpg\n\nMizrahi: \"The fuckin' fuck?\" \n\"Is that fuckin' Drunken...? Hey, start it again?\" \n\"Fuck? Da fuck? Fucker's actin' like a fuckin' cheap fuckin' hooker! What. The. Fucking. Fuck. Got. Into. Him?\"\n\"He's fuckin... Flirting? No fuckin way... Did he fuckin' KISS .... Fuckin TONGUE... ?\"\n\nHopps: \"Have you seen anything like that?\"\n\nMizrahi: \"Fuck yeah, I fuckin' seen that! I thought something was fucked up with the girls he was fuckin', maybe their pimps was fuckin' givin' 'em something to keep 'em ready to fuckin' fuck, maybe a fuckin' brainfuck like wallbangers or ludes to keep 'em under control. Don't fuck them fuckin' pimps or hoes with a fuckin' stolen fuckin' dick.\"\n\nWilde: \"Did any of his prostitutes smell odd?\"\n\nMizrahi: \"How the fuck would I know? Drunk and his fucktoys was always fucked up on so fuckin' much fuckin' shit you might as well be trying to fuckin' sniff out a fuckin' joint in a fuckin' forest fire. Toldja, I fuckin' kept my fuckin' distance from the fuckin' fucker.\"[/q]\n\nBogo flipped a few more pages of transcript. Most of the rest was Wilde talking with Mizrahi about other dealers, until Judy ended the interview with, \"Thank you for your cooperation. The dentist will see you this afternoon.\" She didn't tell Mizrahi that his appointment had been scheduled weeks ago.\n\nBy now, Clawhauser, Hopps, and Wilde had mostly caught their breath; and the cheetah was cleaning up a splattered jelly donut. Moments of levity like this were rare, and much needed.\n\nThe Zootopia police would need all they could get.", "writing_bbcode_parsed": "ZOOTOPIA POLICE DEPARTMENT HEADQUARTERS

It was close to quitting time, when Chief Bogo heard uproarious laughter coming from Clawhauser's desk. He recognized two of the voices, Hopps and Wilde.

Judy, in between paroxysms of giggles, managed to gasp out something about an engine and a water pump, followed by "fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck!" and all three of them were yukking it up again.

Nick barely managed to gasp out, "Chief... can we keep that transcriptionist?" and then the fox was guffawing again.

\n\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t
"\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tTRANSCRIPTIONIST'S NOTE: Enclosed are two versions of the interview.
In the first, Mizrahi's multiple redundant uses of 'fuck,' 'fucking,' 'motherfucker,' 'fucker,' etc. have been reduced; this document, double spaced, is 36 pages. Printing the abridged version is recommended to save paper. The second document, 81 pages, is the full unabridged transcript with all Fucks given...\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t

Bogo laughed heartily, but he didn't think it was funny enough to splat several doughnuts. Clawhauser had made enough of a mess doing that. By now Judy was starting to regain her composure, but still wheezing in between giggles.

The Chief almost wished he'd left his reading glasses in his office. The single-spaced transcript had several pages where Mizrahi had said nothing but Fuck... for what must have been minutes at a time.

\n\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t
"\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tMizrahi: "Look who da fuck dragged in! Nicky, you gone from fuckin' sugar slinger to a fuckin' badge? Where da fuckin' world fuckin' off to now?"

Wilde: *laughing* "Rafe, I have to look you up again, you must have got busted while I was at the academy!"

Mizrahi: "Hey, Nicky? Favor for favor... I talk to you, you get a dentist for me? My teeth are gettin' too fuckin' long, and these fuckin' bars ain't fuckin' worth a fuckin' fuck for gnawing."\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t

Bogo skipped over a few pages of transcript.

\n\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t
"\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tWilde: "You ever deal with a goat named Tony Newhouse?"

Mizrahi: "Name dudden't ring a fuckin' bell. I didn't fuckin' deal much with fuckin' goats, you fuckin' got a mug o' th'fuck?"

Judy: "This guy?"

TRANSCRIPT NOTE: Image Attachment 293478659817625_NEWHOUSE_04662.bmp

Mizrahi: "THAT fuckin' fuck... fuck da fuckin' fucked fucker... Fucker's name's Tony? I thought he was Duncan somethin' or other, 'cuz other fuckers called him Drunk and Disorderly. I didn't fuckin' wanna fuck with him. Told him to go fuck himself lotsa fuckin' times. He wouldn't fuckin' take a fuckin' hint to fuck off."\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t

Bogo skimmed the next few pages.

Newhouse's file (included with the transcript) did give an alias of 'Drunk and Disorderly', and a long list of arrests for public intoxication. Not really news, but it did confirm Mizrahi's passing familiarity with Newhouse.
Nick knew of Tony Newhouse, but only in the form of 'stay away from gangsta goats.'

\n\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t
"\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tHopps: "When was the last time you heard of him?"

Mizrahi: "Long fuckin' time ago... before that whole fuckup with the fuckin' mayor went fuck off, I heard fuckin' Drunkard got arrested again... But now ya fuckin' ask, that's the last I fuckin' heard of the fuck, long before I got fuckin' booked."

Judy: "What kinds of drugs did Newhouse want to buy?"\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t

Chief Bogo remembered Mizrahi - he'd even arrested the rodent once, when he was still a Sergeant. Sales of Marijuana, Peyote, and Catnip were all on the hamster's file; Mizrahi had even gotten a lighter sentence for providing information about dealers who were selling PCP, Heroin, Crack Cocaine, Methamphetamines, and Benzodiazepines. The hamster's intel had already led to several arrests, including a bust on a processing facility full of Cocaine, Jimsonweed, and Ephedra. Bogo thought it was a clever ploy, using the cops to eliminate the more dangerous competitors.
Hence why Mizrahi must have deemed this okay to talk about without asking for a lawyer.

\n\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t
"\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tMizrahi: "Drunkard wanted fuckin' hard shit. Crystal, Angel Dust, fuckin' Smack, fuckin' Rock... all the fuckin' science fuck. Sometimes he wanted fuckin' 'shrooms, Moco Loco, fuckin'... fuckin'... da fuck, weird fuckin' name, burnin'-dangle-fuck, weird fuckin' plants he'd fuckin' ask for. Fucker wanted to get fucked up beyond fuckin' belief on fucked up fuckin' shit, I say fuck da fuck off, told him to go fuck himself."\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t

Newhouse's record mentioned using most of the above, but crystallized methamphetamine was new. Bogo had heard the name Burundanga, but all he knew was that it was a plant extract with nasty uses.

\n\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t
"\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tWilde: "Have you seen the effects of some of the stuff on the market? Any users ever take it right there at the sale?"

Mizrahi: *growl* "Told'ja, I stuck to the fuckin' feel goods, the stuff you take to fuckin' mellow out; I watched other dealers hook up smack," the hamster visibly shuddered, "An' the fuckin' heads got their fuckin' needles on right da fuck there. That's why I never fucked with it, and fuckin' stuck to the fuckin' feel-goods."

Hopps: "Have you ever seen a drug make anyone act like this?"

TRANSCRIPT NOTE: 347712345_93142982_Newhouse_Tony_001.mpg

Mizrahi: "The fuckin' fuck?"
"Is that fuckin' Drunken...? Hey, start it again?"
"Fuck? Da fuck? Fucker's actin' like a fuckin' cheap fuckin' hooker! What. The. Fucking. Fuck. Got. Into. Him?"
"He's fuckin... Flirting? No fuckin way... Did he fuckin' KISS .... Fuckin TONGUE... ?"

Hopps: "Have you seen anything like that?"

Mizrahi: "Fuck yeah, I fuckin' seen that! I thought something was fucked up with the girls he was fuckin', maybe their pimps was fuckin' givin' 'em something to keep 'em ready to fuckin' fuck, maybe a fuckin' brainfuck like wallbangers or ludes to keep 'em under control. Don't fuck them fuckin' pimps or hoes with a fuckin' stolen fuckin' dick."

Wilde: "Did any of his prostitutes smell odd?"

Mizrahi: "How the fuck would I know? Drunk and his fucktoys was always fucked up on so fuckin' much fuckin' shit you might as well be trying to fuckin' sniff out a fuckin' joint in a fuckin' forest fire. Toldja, I fuckin' kept my fuckin' distance from the fuckin' fucker."\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t

Bogo flipped a few more pages of transcript. Most of the rest was Wilde talking with Mizrahi about other dealers, until Judy ended the interview with, "Thank you for your cooperation. The dentist will see you this afternoon." She didn't tell Mizrahi that his appointment had been scheduled weeks ago.

By now, Clawhauser, Hopps, and Wilde had mostly caught their breath; and the cheetah was cleaning up a splattered jelly donut. Moments of levity like this were rare, and much needed.

The Zootopia police would need all they could get.", "pools_count": 0, "title": "Zootopia: Interview with a Dealer", "deleted": "f", "public": "t", "mimetype": "text/plain", "pagecount": "1", "rating_id": "2", "rating_name": "Adult", "ratings": [ { "content_tag_id": "4", "name": "Sexual Themes", "description": "Erotic imagery, sexual activity or arousal", "rating_id": "2" }, { "content_tag_id": "5", "name": "Strong Violence", "description": "Strong violence, blood, serious injury or death", "rating_id": "2" } ], "submission_type_id": "12", "type_name": "Writing - Document", "guest_block": "f", "friends_only": "f", "comments_count": "3", "views": "178" }