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"submission_left_thumbnail_url_medium_noncustom": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/medium/5877/5877398_InfinityDoom_awake_noncustom.jpg", "submission_left_thumb_medium_noncustom_x": "120", "submission_left_thumb_medium_noncustom_y": "95", "submission_left_thumb_large_noncustom_x": "200", "submission_left_thumb_large_noncustom_y": "159", "submission_left_thumb_huge_noncustom_x": "300", "submission_left_thumb_huge_noncustom_y": "239" } ], "description": "Isn’t it nice to have friends? I have always been obsessed with media about close friendships, it was a thing I wanted but could never find in my real life for so long. These people seemed to care about each other in ways I’d never seen. But it was fiction, that kinda stuff is a lie, right? Well, not exactly.\n\nThere are certain things that fictional friends don’t have to do. Like sit together in silence cause you don’t have much to say but still enjoy the company, or spend 20 minutes deciding on what game we're going to play tonight. Regardless though. I would look at those kinda friendships on TV or my computer monitor and say, “I’ll never have something like that…”\n\nThese are the feelings that were eventually channeled into the character of Ember, who expressed a similar sentiment during his confession to Coal.\n\n“I had made myself believe that some things just weren’t for me. Friends, sex, love…”\n\nMuch like Ember found love when he thought he’d never. I found that elusive ideal of friendship kinda out of nowhere. Before I tell you the story of this friendship I want to tell you how it ends. Cause it ends like most Driftwood stories do, with people in love who will never speak to each other again. At least, partially.\n\nThere were two people I would hang out with on discord. We would just play games. Usually with one of us playing and the other’s watching, commenting. Giving our full attention all the time. In this way it was different from any other gaming group I’ve been in. Usually formed around a specific game, then disbanding when people lose interest in that game. But anyways, we’d sometimes hang out until the sun came up. It was, really all I ever wanted. I loved it, and well. I was so scared it would end the whole time.\n\nI know lots of people talk about this feeling referring to a relationship. Loving someone so hard that you spend every moment terrified of losing them. It’s unhealthy to say the least. But there I was, in love with this friendship like it was the only ray of light in the dark.\n\nIt ended. I blamed the crush I had on the friend who left as the cause at the time. I suspected there were more reasonable reasons it ended now. But they left and I’ve scarcely seen them since. All my fears at the time coming true. Except something I didn’t expect happened. The other friend stuck around.\n\nHe’s who the Canid in the picture above is based on. Talking a lot about side things during sex. He’s also now my Husband! (as crazy as it is to say)\n\nThis picture is from the “Ferro Becomes Aromantic” scraped ending. If you don’t know what that means, read the first Driftwood Scrap. It wasn’t instant that I was able to have a good relationship, even after finding my future husband. I had to work on myself, I became Aromantic and finally was able to build important loving friendships, and only then I dropped the tag and started to really deal with all the trauma I had around love and what it means.\n\nThis is why Driftwood Ends is not a story about finding the perfect partner and it fixing everything. It’s a story about changing yourself into being someone who can actually have a generative loving relationship. Ferro is someone who’s changed ALOT in the last five years, Coal is someone who couldn’t change at all. Both of them need to work on themselves to become someone capable of good lasting love.\n\nOne of the reasons I had such a hard time ending Driftwood is because there was just so much relationship suffering in the series, and I wanted it to amount to something in the end. But I was just writing about my experiences, I didn’t have a good answer at the time.\n\nI hope those who read this now have an idea of what Driftwood as a whole means to me. I have talked before about how Driftwood is semi-autobiographical. But what you see now in Driftwood is the entire arc of an artist’s feelings about love. Unhealthy, growing, changing, eventually becoming something hopeful.\n\nI’m very proud of Driftwood End’s. Driftwood as a whole is a messy series, inconsistent in quality, writing, art. One where I never really knew where it was going. It was messy in the same way a life is messy. Driftwood Ends in that way, is someone looking back at a messy life with the wisdom of the future, and just… Making sense of it all.\n", "description_bbcode_parsed": "Isn’t it nice to have friends? I have always been obsessed with media about close friendships, it was a thing I wanted but could never find in my real life for so long. These people seemed to care about each other in ways I’d never seen. But it was fiction, that kinda stuff is a lie, right? Well, not exactly.

There are certain things that fictional friends don’t have to do. Like sit together in silence cause you don’t have much to say but still enjoy the company, or spend 20 minutes deciding on what game we're going to play tonight. Regardless though. I would look at those kinda friendships on TV or my computer monitor and say, “I’ll never have something like that…”

These are the feelings that were eventually channeled into the character of Ember, who expressed a similar sentiment during his confession to Coal.

“I had made myself believe that some things just weren’t for me. Friends, sex, love…”

Much like Ember found love when he thought he’d never. I found that elusive ideal of friendship kinda out of nowhere. Before I tell you the story of this friendship I want to tell you how it ends. Cause it ends like most Driftwood stories do, with people in love who will never speak to each other again. At least, partially.

There were two people I would hang out with on discord. We would just play games. Usually with one of us playing and the other’s watching, commenting. Giving our full attention all the time. In this way it was different from any other gaming group I’ve been in. Usually formed around a specific game, then disbanding when people lose interest in that game. But anyways, we’d sometimes hang out until the sun came up. It was, really all I ever wanted. I loved it, and well. I was so scared it would end the whole time.

I know lots of people talk about this feeling referring to a relationship. Loving someone so hard that you spend every moment terrified of losing them. It’s unhealthy to say the least. But there I was, in love with this friendship like it was the only ray of light in the dark.

It ended. I blamed the crush I had on the friend who left as the cause at the time. I suspected there were more reasonable reasons it ended now. But they left and I’ve scarcely seen them since. All my fears at the time coming true. Except something I didn’t expect happened. The other friend stuck around.

He’s who the Canid in the picture above is based on. Talking a lot about side things during sex. He’s also now my Husband! (as crazy as it is to say)

This picture is from the “Ferro Becomes Aromantic” scraped ending. If you don’t know what that means, read the first Driftwood Scrap. It wasn’t instant that I was able to have a good relationship, even after finding my future husband. I had to work on myself, I became Aromantic and finally was able to build important loving friendships, and only then I dropped the tag and started to really deal with all the trauma I had around love and what it means.

This is why Driftwood Ends is not a story about finding the perfect partner and it fixing everything. It’s a story about changing yourself into being someone who can actually have a generative loving relationship. Ferro is someone who’s changed ALOT in the last five years, Coal is someone who couldn’t change at all. Both of them need to work on themselves to become someone capable of good lasting love.

One of the reasons I had such a hard time ending Driftwood is because there was just so much relationship suffering in the series, and I wanted it to amount to something in the end. But I was just writing about my experiences, I didn’t have a good answer at the time.

I hope those who read this now have an idea of what Driftwood as a whole means to me. I have talked before about how Driftwood is semi-autobiographical. But what you see now in Driftwood is the entire arc of an artist’s feelings about love. Unhealthy, growing, changing, eventually becoming something hopeful.

I’m very proud of Driftwood End’s. Driftwood as a whole is a messy series, inconsistent in quality, writing, art. One where I never really knew where it was going. It was messy in the same way a life is messy. Driftwood Ends in that way, is someone looking back at a messy life with the wisdom of the future, and just… Making sense of it all.
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