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If you want a silly or creepy blurb like this, check out my [url=https://www.patreon.com/Immelmann]Patreon[/url]![hr]\n[b]Special Agent Kouroth[/b] was told to investigate a mysterious dress that washed onto the shores of South Africa. After an undisclosed \"complication\" the agent found himself wearing the dress and dancing: reports indicate that the dancing was against his will and impossible to stop or control. Attempts from onlookers to stop the dance, or remove the dress, were met with violence from the agent, who is reported to have danced for approximately two days without rest, causing severe bleeding and trauma to the legs. After sedation, the agent was successfully extracted from the area (and the dress). Agent Kouroth is now in the recovery ward and the dress is under security lock down.\n\nIt was revealed that [b]Special Agent Cecil[/b] had been possessed by a vengeful spirit for the past four months. Despite the agent being quoted several times as saying things such as, \"yes, this body is performing admirably\", \"the host does not seem to like that\", and \"no thanks, I'm literally a ghost in this body\", it wasn't until the agent was found sleeping on the ceiling of his office that HR was contacted about the situation. The ghost was extracted by spiritual experts and is kept safely in storage until further interrogation. How exactly Agent Cecil came into contact with the ghost is unknown, but he has been advised to avoid contact with known hot spots such as graveyards, antiques stores and discos.\n\n[b]Special Agent Neo[/b] was sent to apprehend famed cryptid \"Nessie\" who was reported leaving her country of origin without a permit. Reports indicate that negotiations with the cryptid went poorly very quickly: this is implied by the fact that the agent was swallowed whole by the monster almost immediately. The Loch Ness Monster fled to the ocean, where she was apprehended by the International Coast Guard off the coast of Spain. After an emergency operation, both the cryptid and Agent Neo are expected to make a full recovery.\n\nAfter an increasing number of reports of alligators in the sewer system of London, [b]Special Agent Chaz Gates[/b] was sent with a small team to investigate. A long weekend in the sewer tracking evidence finally yielded several young alligators escaping into an abandoned section of the London Underground, where a \"colony\" of alligators was discovered. Apparently, up to seven fully grown individuals were found to have their tails tangled and fused together, creating a large writhing mass that one agent described as an \"Alligator King\". Agent Gates was forced to combat the mass of creatures, killing several of its heads to hold the creature at bay while the group of agents escaped.\n\n[b]Secret Agent Victor [/b]was among several agents who discovered a German-made radio dating from 1920. There is no record of its production company, Pohlklingen. Agent Victor tested the audio quality of the radio by connecting it to his phone and playing a sample from the modern black metal band 'Ego Death'. To their surprise, the song was translated by the radio to have the sound styling and production of a song that might have been recorded in the 1920s. Several other songs were tested, including classic hip-hop, punk, and Irish folk music: all music was re-interpreted by the antique device with the cadence and vocal styling of 1920s popular music. The radio is to be kept in the break room of SIU Research Base 05, pending further experimentation.\n\n[b]Special Agent Erik Fischer[/b] was sent to Myanmar by special request of the government to investigate a recent rash of UFO sightings. During his investigation, however, Agent Fischer was reportedly harangued by an especially loud and large swarm of bees. Cornered and stung into unconsciousness, witnesses reported that the agent was dragged into the hollow of a tree, where the bees had begun their hive. Local police were not able to locate the agent until several days later, where they reported he had been \"completely integrated into the bee hive, skin fused with the honeycomb walls, mouth agape and crawling with bees and their larvae.” Stranger still, reports claim: “We saw the eyes twitch and watch us. The chest slowly heaved with shallow breath. It was clear he was still alive.\" After a very slow and careful extraction of the agent and extermination of the swarm, Agent Fischer was transported to a local hospital for recovery. Several specimens of the bees were sent back to Egypt for study.\n\nWhile on vacation, [b]Secret Agent Gedat Rakkin[/b] spent time experimenting with the new virtual pet plugin for the A.G.N.L. virtual reality headset. After some time customizing and getting to know the new pet, Rakkin discovered the pet displaying some very strange behavior, describing it as \"scared, paranoid, and anxious.\" Despite several reboots to the system, and recreations of the pet, this unusual behavior persisted. He reports the digital entity started leaving him \"clues\" and trying to get him out of the house. After a day of following clues left by the virtual intelligence, the off-duty agent discovered the body of a man reported missing several weeks earlier: apparently lead to the scene of his disposed body by the virtual pet. Plexon, producer of this program, is now under investigation in relation to this occurrence. Rakkin's virtual pet has apparently resumed normal behavior.\n\n[b]Secret Agent Avia Jiutai [/b]spent a weekend with a French tutor to quickly learn the language before an upcoming investigation. Upon returning to work on Monday, the agent was found to have entirely forgotten how to speak English. Tests were performed to determine whether it was an act or not, but the condition seems genuine: the agent understands and reads English, with some difficulty, but seems incapable of forming the words. The French tutor named by Agent Jintai cannot be found, and the location given for the lessons appears to have been abandoned for several years.\n\n[b]Special Agent Arukino [/b]was assigned to investigate a series of livestock disappearances under unusual circumstances. After questioning nearby witnesses, Agent Arukino was observed via local surveillance visiting multiple locations of the disappearances. Soon after, a stampede was reported and, among the herd, Agent Arukino was spotted, running along and encouraging the ensuing chaos. After being detained, the agent reported that the livestock disappearances were \"an open revolution, a rebellion\", a cause they apparently wished to join. The agent will be kept under surveillance for the month.\n\n[b]Senior Agent Wheaton Adams[/b] did not report for work for three days straight and refused to answer calls. Another agent was sent to investigate their house and found the agent, in their exact words, \"trapped in a god damn oil painting\". Agent Adams reportedly appears alive and well, existing in the three dimensional room represented on the two dimensional matte painting. Adams can hear and speak, and reports that they \"just woke up in here\". As the painting also includes a rather extensive still life of fruit, bread, and wine, the agent is presumed to be able survive on the sustenance provided until a solution is found.\n\n[url=http://www.postybirb.com]Posted using PostyBirb[/url]", "description_bbcode_parsed": "Here's what our special agents were up to all October! If you want a silly or creepy blurb like this, check out my Patreon![hr]
Special Agent Kouroth was told to investigate a mysterious dress that washed onto the shores of South Africa. After an undisclosed "complication" the agent found himself wearing the dress and dancing: reports indicate that the dancing was against his will and impossible to stop or control. Attempts from onlookers to stop the dance, or remove the dress, were met with violence from the agent, who is reported to have danced for approximately two days without rest, causing severe bleeding and trauma to the legs. After sedation, the agent was successfully extracted from the area (and the dress). Agent Kouroth is now in the recovery ward and the dress is under security lock down.

It was revealed that Special Agent Cecil had been possessed by a vengeful spirit for the past four months. Despite the agent being quoted several times as saying things such as, "yes, this body is performing admirably", "the host does not seem to like that", and "no thanks, I'm literally a ghost in this body", it wasn't until the agent was found sleeping on the ceiling of his office that HR was contacted about the situation. The ghost was extracted by spiritual experts and is kept safely in storage until further interrogation. How exactly Agent Cecil came into contact with the ghost is unknown, but he has been advised to avoid contact with known hot spots such as graveyards, antiques stores and discos.

Special Agent Neo was sent to apprehend famed cryptid "Nessie" who was reported leaving her country of origin without a permit. Reports indicate that negotiations with the cryptid went poorly very quickly: this is implied by the fact that the agent was swallowed whole by the monster almost immediately. The Loch Ness Monster fled to the ocean, where she was apprehended by the International Coast Guard off the coast of Spain. After an emergency operation, both the cryptid and Agent Neo are expected to make a full recovery.

After an increasing number of reports of alligators in the sewer system of London, Special Agent Chaz Gates was sent with a small team to investigate. A long weekend in the sewer tracking evidence finally yielded several young alligators escaping into an abandoned section of the London Underground, where a "colony" of alligators was discovered. Apparently, up to seven fully grown individuals were found to have their tails tangled and fused together, creating a large writhing mass that one agent described as an "Alligator King". Agent Gates was forced to combat the mass of creatures, killing several of its heads to hold the creature at bay while the group of agents escaped.

Secret Agent Victor was among several agents who discovered a German-made radio dating from 1920. There is no record of its production company, Pohlklingen. Agent Victor tested the audio quality of the radio by connecting it to his phone and playing a sample from the modern black metal band 'Ego Death'. To their surprise, the song was translated by the radio to have the sound styling and production of a song that might have been recorded in the 1920s. Several other songs were tested, including classic hip-hop, punk, and Irish folk music: all music was re-interpreted by the antique device with the cadence and vocal styling of 1920s popular music. The radio is to be kept in the break room of SIU Research Base 05, pending further experimentation.

Special Agent Erik Fischer was sent to Myanmar by special request of the government to investigate a recent rash of UFO sightings. During his investigation, however, Agent Fischer was reportedly harangued by an especially loud and large swarm of bees. Cornered and stung into unconsciousness, witnesses reported that the agent was dragged into the hollow of a tree, where the bees had begun their hive. Local police were not able to locate the agent until several days later, where they reported he had been "completely integrated into the bee hive, skin fused with the honeycomb walls, mouth agape and crawling with bees and their larvae.” Stranger still, reports claim: “We saw the eyes twitch and watch us. The chest slowly heaved with shallow breath. It was clear he was still alive." After a very slow and careful extraction of the agent and extermination of the swarm, Agent Fischer was transported to a local hospital for recovery. Several specimens of the bees were sent back to Egypt for study.

While on vacation, Secret Agent Gedat Rakkin spent time experimenting with the new virtual pet plugin for the A.G.N.L. virtual reality headset. After some time customizing and getting to know the new pet, Rakkin discovered the pet displaying some very strange behavior, describing it as "scared, paranoid, and anxious." Despite several reboots to the system, and recreations of the pet, this unusual behavior persisted. He reports the digital entity started leaving him "clues" and trying to get him out of the house. After a day of following clues left by the virtual intelligence, the off-duty agent discovered the body of a man reported missing several weeks earlier: apparently lead to the scene of his disposed body by the virtual pet. Plexon, producer of this program, is now under investigation in relation to this occurrence. Rakkin's virtual pet has apparently resumed normal behavior.

Secret Agent Avia Jiutai spent a weekend with a French tutor to quickly learn the language before an upcoming investigation. Upon returning to work on Monday, the agent was found to have entirely forgotten how to speak English. Tests were performed to determine whether it was an act or not, but the condition seems genuine: the agent understands and reads English, with some difficulty, but seems incapable of forming the words. The French tutor named by Agent Jintai cannot be found, and the location given for the lessons appears to have been abandoned for several years.

Special Agent Arukino was assigned to investigate a series of livestock disappearances under unusual circumstances. After questioning nearby witnesses, Agent Arukino was observed via local surveillance visiting multiple locations of the disappearances. Soon after, a stampede was reported and, among the herd, Agent Arukino was spotted, running along and encouraging the ensuing chaos. After being detained, the agent reported that the livestock disappearances were "an open revolution, a rebellion", a cause they apparently wished to join. The agent will be kept under surveillance for the month.

Senior Agent Wheaton Adams did not report for work for three days straight and refused to answer calls. Another agent was sent to investigate their house and found the agent, in their exact words, "trapped in a god damn oil painting". Agent Adams reportedly appears alive and well, existing in the three dimensional room represented on the two dimensional matte painting. Adams can hear and speak, and reports that they "just woke up in here". As the painting also includes a rather extensive still life of fruit, bread, and wine, the agent is presumed to be able survive on the sustenance provided until a solution is found.

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