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  "description_bbcode_parsed": "<span style='word-wrap: break-word;'>I&#039;ve added over 100 new (old) pencils to my collection, thanks to a visit to the scrap heap. I&#039;ve tested some of the colored pencils here (ain&#039;t it pretty?). ^_^<br /><br />In other news,<br /><br />WATCHER: &quot;I see no MT then.. oh well. I wanted to see your dark story&quot;<br /><br />So long as the Lord sees fit to keep air in my lungs, I&#039;ll not abandon MT.<br />THAT SAID, I have (yet again) put it off (in spite of the big deal I made about it two months ago), in favor of ACO/Quickie production.<br /><br />I hate this sort of thing about myself---how I will procrastinate on those things I say I&#039;ll do.<br />This is a major reason I don&#039;t do requests---if I say I&#039;ll do it ...I absolutely will, but it could be WEEKS before I get to it (one person has been waiting for years ...not joking, not proud). ^^<br /><br />I dislike disappointing and upsetting people---delaying promises is an excellent way to achieve both, hence I tend not to commit myself. I&#039;ve committed myself to MT, which is what&#039;s killing it. :(<br /><br />MT is very much on my mind---it&#039;s not been forgotten, I&#039;m just overwhelmed by it.<br />There&#039;s literally NO aspect that (by itself) wouldn&#039;t entail a lot of time, work and discipline.<br />For example, I&#039;d have over 30 (yes, thirty) character models to refine and practice (I&#039;d need to draw each a few dozen times before they&#039;d become intuitive---just look at Gene over the years). :P<br />Another would involve returning to a mindset I had when I was in my 20&#039;s (when MT began)---I think very differently today, esp. on religion (which is a major element in the story). :P<br /><br />I&#039;m not at an age where I can put things off---40 may not seem old, but I don&#039;t have the greatest health in the world (and I&#039;m overweight to boot!).<br />I worry about this sort of thing ...and that leads (incongruously) to more procrastination. :P<br /><br />Anyway, MT&#039;s not been forgotten. Not that it would mean much to anyone if I did forget and/or drop it entirely (as I&#039;ve uploaded effectively nothing about it)---I just project my anxiety onto my watchers (which I know is irrational, but that&#039;s how it is, regardless).<br /><br />This wasn&#039;t much of an update (just more the same)---just helped me feel better to write something about this, even if it&#039;s saying nothing (new).<br /><br />=^..^=</span>",
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