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"thumb_huge_noncustom_x": "300", "thumb_huge_noncustom_y": "286" } ], "pools": [ { "pool_id": "67394", "name": "Everything Else", "description": "Quickies, Comics, and other stuff of little to no value.", "count": "271", "submission_left_submission_id": "2092873", "submission_left_file_name": "3028619_IceAgeChippies_gnesmrtgn.png", "submission_left_thumbnail_url_huge_noncustom": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/files/preview/3028/3028619_IceAgeChippies_gnesmrtgn.jpg", "submission_left_thumbnail_url_large_noncustom": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/large/3028/3028619_IceAgeChippies_gnesmrtgn_noncustom.jpg", "submission_left_thumbnail_url_medium_noncustom": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/medium/3028/3028619_IceAgeChippies_gnesmrtgn_noncustom.jpg", "submission_left_thumb_medium_noncustom_x": "120", "submission_left_thumb_medium_noncustom_y": "95", "submission_left_thumb_large_noncustom_x": "200", "submission_left_thumb_large_noncustom_y": "159", "submission_left_thumb_huge_noncustom_x": "300", "submission_left_thumb_huge_noncustom_y": "238", "submission_right_submission_id": "2051868", "submission_right_file_name": "2966003_IceAgeChippies_ashescorbunny.png", "submission_right_thumbnail_url_huge_noncustom": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/files/preview/2966/2966003_IceAgeChippies_ashescorbunny.jpg", "submission_right_thumbnail_url_large_noncustom": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/large/2966/2966003_IceAgeChippies_ashescorbunny_noncustom.jpg", "submission_right_thumbnail_url_medium_noncustom": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/medium/2966/2966003_IceAgeChippies_ashescorbunny_noncustom.jpg", "submission_right_thumb_medium_noncustom_x": "78", "submission_right_thumb_medium_noncustom_y": "120", "submission_right_thumb_large_noncustom_x": "130", "submission_right_thumb_large_noncustom_y": "200", "submission_right_thumb_huge_noncustom_x": "195", "submission_right_thumb_huge_noncustom_y": "300" } ], "description": "It's become clear to me that I have sinned---I have fallen short; I went against my creed and morals.\n\nGranted, if we're going to tell it like it is, I hadn't intended to sin---there was no will or intent to cause harm; I didn't wake up one morning and decide to join the dark side. It was unintended, ALBEIT, I allowed it to happen, perhaps subconsciously. That betrays some inward, hitherto suppressed darkness that I allowed access to the surface.\n\nI drew porn.\n\nHow many of you have read 'If You Give a Mouse a Cookie'? It's a short, cute childrens' story that conveys a valuable truth: if one allows or gives into one thing, more will be demanded. To use the story's example, if you give a mouse a cookie, he'll then ask for a glass of milk (and so forth).\n\nMy cookie was allowing myself to draw frontals of Gene. I kept them kosher (to the extent possible), but I kept going. It got to the point that I began to see I was making too many Gene nudes, so I eliminated the problem (in Gene's case, by 'killing off' Brown Bunnie).\n\n...But because I'm a weak-willed human being, I allowed Timmy to, effectively, take over for Gene ...which is worse on several levels (and that was my glass of milk---I made porn of Timmy).\n\nAt least with Gene, Gene has the condition of being a cartoon animal who doesn't represent any high form of purity, whereas Timmy is human shaped and was intended to represent childhood innocence.\n\nAnd I violated that. What's even worse, is I sat here on my fat ass and celebrated the fact, as if I'd discovered some freedom. Instead, I realize I fell into a trap: a sexual trap which is difficult to climb out of (it's akin to alcoholism, etc---it grabs hold and doesn't like to let go).\n\nTHANKFULLY (by the grace of the Lord Jesus), I am (now) cognizant of what I have done: I sinned; I fell short. I'm sorry and much aggrieved. :(\n\nI ask my watchers forgive me, that's first and foremost.\n\nNext, I wish to give my assurance that I have grown from summer 2018---I'm not going to abreact by deleting my gallery or some other extreme. I'm better, at least, than that (now).\n\nWhat I will ask is feedback on what I should do to make up for this.\n\nHYPOTHETICAL: \"Chippy, no one here cares---do what you like; I'm glad you're trying new things!\"\n\n...I beg to differ: you do care. I have been told, by several watchers, that they were 'shocked' by my initial, uncensored works ...on a site that's both known for and replete with such art (I should have taken that as a warning, but I did not).\nIt's like I've written before: most of my watchers like porn, but they don't necessarily want to see it FROM ME (and I feel that holds true, even amongst those who have remained with me through this 'phase').\n\nI cannot take back what I've done: I wrote what I wrote, and I drew what I drew. I may yet delete my Pixiv, albeit I feel to do so now would be cowardly/an act of denial. I'm an adult---I know I did wrong and I'll face up to it.\n\n...I just don't want to make things worse in the process.\n\nPlease, I ask for feedback on this: what's the best thing I can do to correct this and/or to move forward?\nAgain, I cannot take back what I've done, but I can make efforts to atone---I just want to be sure I do so in a healthy, wholesome way that is acceptable to my watchers.\n\nPlease comment below or note me.", "description_bbcode_parsed": "It's become clear to me that I have sinned---I have fallen short; I went against my creed and morals.

Granted, if we're going to tell it like it is, I hadn't intended to sin---there was no will or intent to cause harm; I didn't wake up one morning and decide to join the dark side. It was unintended, ALBEIT, I allowed it to happen, perhaps subconsciously. That betrays some inward, hitherto suppressed darkness that I allowed access to the surface.

I drew porn.

How many of you have read 'If You Give a Mouse a Cookie'? It's a short, cute childrens' story that conveys a valuable truth: if one allows or gives into one thing, more will be demanded. To use the story's example, if you give a mouse a cookie, he'll then ask for a glass of milk (and so forth).

My cookie was allowing myself to draw frontals of Gene. I kept them kosher (to the extent possible), but I kept going. It got to the point that I began to see I was making too many Gene nudes, so I eliminated the problem (in Gene's case, by 'killing off' Brown Bunnie).

...But because I'm a weak-willed human being, I allowed Timmy to, effectively, take over for Gene ...which is worse on several levels (and that was my glass of milk---I made porn of Timmy).

At least with Gene, Gene has the condition of being a cartoon animal who doesn't represent any high form of purity, whereas Timmy is human shaped and was intended to represent childhood innocence.

And I violated that. What's even worse, is I sat here on my fat ass and celebrated the fact, as if I'd discovered some freedom. Instead, I realize I fell into a trap: a sexual trap which is difficult to climb out of (it's akin to alcoholism, etc---it grabs hold and doesn't like to let go).

THANKFULLY (by the grace of the Lord Jesus), I am (now) cognizant of what I have done: I sinned; I fell short. I'm sorry and much aggrieved. :(

I ask my watchers forgive me, that's first and foremost.

Next, I wish to give my assurance that I have grown from summer 2018---I'm not going to abreact by deleting my gallery or some other extreme. I'm better, at least, than that (now).

What I will ask is feedback on what I should do to make up for this.

HYPOTHETICAL: "Chippy, no one here cares---do what you like; I'm glad you're trying new things!"

...I beg to differ: you do care. I have been told, by several watchers, that they were 'shocked' by my initial, uncensored works ...on a site that's both known for and replete with such art (I should have taken that as a warning, but I did not).
It's like I've written before: most of my watchers like porn, but they don't necessarily want to see it FROM ME (and I feel that holds true, even amongst those who have remained with me through this 'phase').

I cannot take back what I've done: I wrote what I wrote, and I drew what I drew. I may yet delete my Pixiv, albeit I feel to do so now would be cowardly/an act of denial. I'm an adult---I know I did wrong and I'll face up to it.

...I just don't want to make things worse in the process.

Please, I ask for feedback on this: what's the best thing I can do to correct this and/or to move forward?
Again, I cannot take back what I've done, but I can make efforts to atone---I just want to be sure I do so in a healthy, wholesome way that is acceptable to my watchers.

Please comment below or note me.", "writing": "", "writing_bbcode_parsed": "", "pools_count": 1, "title": "To My Watchers...", "deleted": "f", "public": "t", "mimetype": "image/jpeg", "pagecount": "1", "rating_id": "0", "rating_name": "General", "ratings": [], "submission_type_id": "1", "type_name": "Picture/Pinup", "guest_block": "f", "friends_only": "f", "comments_count": "43", "views": "231" }