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  "description": "That's the second time an intentionally nude picture I've made has ended up wearing a loincloth so nobody stumbles into an awkward moment of PORN (bedroom, henceforth 'studio', door doesn't lock). That leopard print loincloth was actually inspired by one on the cover of a Tarzan novel I have... heheh. Good times. =D\n\nEnjoy naked version (complete with painted boy parts), perspective practice, and giant gold monkey statue. OH! And obligatory lame background attempt. =P\n\n[b]BANANAAAAA! >8D[/b]\n\n“Here is an excerpt taken from the journal of an unknown explorer we found drifting in a life boat off the coast of San Maledore, out of Port Royal. He was a raving madman when we found him, bit one of the crew when we tried to take it, but perhaps the remaining intelligible pages from his journal, that he clutched at like a drowning man for air, may tell us what madness befell him:\n\n[i]… after many days at sea on our journey home, we have arrived at an unexplored, uncharted, tropical island. This was, of course, at the suggestion of the ship’s doctor that we needed to restock our supply of fruit, to ward off scurvy.\nOur good friend the Captain was reluctant at first, what with all the terrible rumours about islands of cannibals, sirens and other superstitious nonsense. However, I was so intrigued by the possibilities to be found on this wondrous stretch of sand and jungle, that I took it upon myself to convince the Captain to drop anchor for a day or two. After all, it would be remiss of me, a renowned explorer of the new world, to pass up this opportunity, whatever the dangers. We prepare to embark on the hour. I will, as always, be accompanied by my faithful aide, companion, and long-time friend, Trefislquotara.\n… find ourselves separated from the foraging party in the dense jungle. It’s nothing to concern ourselves with, of course, but Trefi seems to keep fretting that the Captain might leave without us. I can easily forgive him for such foolish thoughts, having known the Captain from the youthful days of old. While I may not have seen him for many years, prior to this recent venture into the new world, I have the utmost faith in him. Why, in our youth we used to get into plenty of scrapes with the gang…\n… second day on the island. I trust that the Captain is searching for us, but we can’t just wait around to be rescued, can we? Trefi’s tracking skills have yet to lead us back through the dense jungle to the beach, but I’m far more interested in the number of strange carved idols I’ve noticed dotting the wilderness. They appear to be very old, both wooden totems and some of the strangest stonework I have ever seen, in all my travels or even recorded in textbooks…\n… nightfall, following the sound of drums and singing, we seem to have found a village of primitive primates. But I thought Trefi’s people dressed provocatively! I find myself struggling not to stare at the scantily clad men and women, not to mention many of the children wear absolutely nothing at all, roaming about naked as the day they were born as if it were the most natural thing in the world, which, of course, I suppose it is, but forgive a man for expecting at least a little decency, will you? Trefi almost seems right at home, although I can tell even he is a little perturbed by the lavish display of nakedness. Although, after the initial shock, the nakedness isn’t so bad to look at… no sign of the Captain… appears we are stranded here for the time being… quite happy to stay and study the islanders and their ways… a very friendly and welcoming people, equally fascinated by us…\n… village itself is very simple… constructed out of wood and leaves… almost no sign at all of the strange stonework I observed elsewhere on the island… still, they have fascinating building techniques as I watched, and even helped them, to erect a new hut… shamans have an interesting altar, covered in crudely chiselled carvings, unlike the older stonework. From marks on the top, it appears to have once been the pedestal for a large statue… my suspicions confirmed. Legend says that generations ago there stood a giant gold statue, although something seems to have been lost in translation… made of solid gold, depicting the Sacred Monkey and honouring the Great Cobra… there must be some misunderstanding here, although I have asked many villagers… my best interpretation of the Sacred Monkey statue is doodled on the opposite page. As you can see, perhaps doodle is the wrong word to describe it. Ahaha. Just a little crude humour. I never noticed at first, but if you look closely at the paintings and carvings around the village, there does seem to be a great deal of phallic imagery…\n… never would have imagined it, but after a week among these amazing monkeys, I myself have adopted some of their native customs, to try and help blend in and understand their culture and language. I admit I’m not as fit as I once was, even after my rigorous venture in the new world, but being able to discard my restricting clothing in favour of, well, little more than a loincloth and some body paint, is quite liberating! It would also appear, through my rudimentary understanding of their language, that many of the village women find me remarkably attractive, to say the least. I don’t mean to be modest, but I suspect this may have something to do with me being new and interesting, rather than my physical stature. Then again, my species does tend to be somewhat more well-endowed than most, I’m no exception, and they do almost seem to worship… perhaps the clue is in the title of their deity, loosely translating as Great Cobra… countless euphemisms, associating snakes with… Trefi himself seems to be quite taken with one of the young ladies. Ouwala, as she is called, has been the one teaching us their native language, and begun learning some of our own…\n… offended Ouwala’s father, by accident of course. Poor Trefi… who knew her hand was promised to one of the village warriors? Interestingly, the warrior himself is not very well liked among the tribes people, but his family is particularly powerful… amusing parallels in society… invited to a special ceremony, in which Trefi is to be taken before the Great Cobra, where he and Ouwala’s betrothed must compete, for their honour and the right to take Ouwala as mate… I am quite excited to witness the traditional ceremony myself, and, although I am reluctant to admit it, after all this rampant nudity I find myself eager to witness the final rite upon conclusion of the trials. Before the entire village, they must consummate their union, with his blessing, under the eyes of their deity! Apparently this is commonplace for mating ceremonies, although then only family members… these trials are such a rare event, the entire village is excited to see an outsider undergo… Trefi is apprehensive. And understandably so, after we learned the nature of these life-threatening challenges… if that wasn’t bad enough, then, after all that, Trefi must engage the warrior in a fight to the death! Tomorrow Trefi shall either be wed, or dead… grim decision either way… offered to let Trefi turn down the challenge because we are outsiders, although we would be banished from the village, with free passage to another island… Trefi confessed his undying love for the beautiful Ouwala. I wish him luck tomorrow.\n… the day has come… I have suspected for some time their “deity” is in fact the giant gold statue itself, with the disembodied voice of their god actually the chieftain or head priest’s voice echoing in the cave, and will soon find out if I am right… warriors and shamans, and in fact all the villagers attending, appear to be decked out in their finest savagery, adorning their naked bodies with bones twined in their hair, skulls and other grim trophies, and special body paint, all contrasting harshly with the usually peaceful tribesmen and women… Trefi growing more agitated the closer we draw to the sacred caves, where one of the villagers has confirmed the golden statue resides… taken most of the day, but at last this is it. The cave entrance… carvings… paintings and totems… must come back to take notes…\n… challengers must wait outside and enter last, from opposite entrances. The entire village is almost seated and ready… requested to wait with Trefi, my old friend, until the last possible moment… wished him good luck… dark inside, can hardly see to write… villagers seem anxious, excited… chieftain entered torchlight in the middle of a huge arena and instantly the assembled monkeys went silent… almost hear them holding their collective breath… torches are lit and flare around a gargantuan shape at the far end… so much gold… never imagined… so shiny… the slithering horror… terrible eyes… can’t look away… dropped my book… villagers made their sacred signs in perfect unison, and found I myself was also drawn into the rhythm… grim silence as I picked up my book and found Trefi had already entered the ring…  skin-crawling… EYES WATCHING!… the roar from the crowd as bloody battle was engaged… can’t watch… horror… grinning monkey statue… sacred… LOOK AWAY… good god… NO! Can’t be… solid gold… blood flew in the ring, Trefi or… don’t know… madness in the eyes… some kind of frenzy… which challenge? … have to get out… watching… the eyes… boring into my soul… no! Keep out! Must get out! My eyes!… look at the eyes… what evil lies there beneath…?!… don’t look… feel it’s intent… IT desires… more than blood… my escape! Fresh air at last… got away while they were distracted… HE KNOWS… I hear him… calls to me, come back he says… promises… oh, so many wonderful promises…! Can’t risk it… death and horror! Must get back to civilisation… madness… stay away!… Trefi… dead by now… follow me? … water everywhere… no land… help…? The… journal… warn them not to… death creeps… so hungry…”[/i]\n\nHad WAAAAY too much fun writing that! I hope people read and enjoy it. Please disregard typos. Put them down to the explorer losing his sanity if you like. 0=P",
  "description_bbcode_parsed": "<span style='word-wrap: break-word;'>That&#039;s the second time an intentionally nude picture I&#039;ve made has ended up wearing a loincloth so nobody stumbles into an awkward moment of PORN (bedroom, henceforth &#039;studio&#039;, door doesn&#039;t lock). That leopard print loincloth was actually inspired by one on the cover of a Tarzan novel I have... heheh. Good times. =D<br /><br />Enjoy naked version (complete with painted boy parts), perspective practice, and giant gold monkey statue. OH! And obligatory lame background attempt. =P<br /><br /><strong>BANANAAAAA! &gt;8D</strong><br /><br />&ldquo;Here is an excerpt taken from the journal of an unknown explorer we found drifting in a life boat off the coast of San Maledore, out of Port Royal. He was a raving madman when we found him, bit one of the crew when we tried to take it, but perhaps the remaining intelligible pages from his journal, that he clutched at like a drowning man for air, may tell us what madness befell him:<br /><br /><em>&hellip; after many days at sea on our journey home, we have arrived at an unexplored, uncharted, tropical island. This was, of course, at the suggestion of the ship&rsquo;s doctor that we needed to restock our supply of fruit, to ward off scurvy.<br />Our good friend the Captain was reluctant at first, what with all the terrible rumours about islands of cannibals, sirens and other superstitious nonsense. However, I was so intrigued by the possibilities to be found on this wondrous stretch of sand and jungle, that I took it upon myself to convince the Captain to drop anchor for a day or two. After all, it would be remiss of me, a renowned explorer of the new world, to pass up this opportunity, whatever the dangers. We prepare to embark on the hour. I will, as always, be accompanied by my faithful aide, companion, and long-time friend, Trefislquotara.<br />&hellip; find ourselves separated from the foraging party in the dense jungle. It&rsquo;s nothing to concern ourselves with, of course, but Trefi seems to keep fretting that the Captain might leave without us. I can easily forgive him for such foolish thoughts, having known the Captain from the youthful days of old. While I may not have seen him for many years, prior to this recent venture into the new world, I have the utmost faith in him. Why, in our youth we used to get into plenty of scrapes with the gang&hellip;<br />&hellip; second day on the island. I trust that the Captain is searching for us, but we can&rsquo;t just wait around to be rescued, can we? Trefi&rsquo;s tracking skills have yet to lead us back through the dense jungle to the beach, but I&rsquo;m far more interested in the number of strange carved idols I&rsquo;ve noticed dotting the wilderness. They appear to be very old, both wooden totems and some of the strangest stonework I have ever seen, in all my travels or even recorded in textbooks&hellip;<br />&hellip; nightfall, following the sound of drums and singing, we seem to have found a village of primitive primates. But I thought Trefi&rsquo;s people dressed provocatively! I find myself struggling not to stare at the scantily clad men and women, not to mention many of the children wear absolutely nothing at all, roaming about naked as the day they were born as if it were the most natural thing in the world, which, of course, I suppose it is, but forgive a man for expecting at least a little decency, will you? Trefi almost seems right at home, although I can tell even he is a little perturbed by the lavish display of nakedness. Although, after the initial shock, the nakedness isn&rsquo;t so bad to look at&hellip; no sign of the Captain&hellip; appears we are stranded here for the time being&hellip; quite happy to stay and study the islanders and their ways&hellip; a very friendly and welcoming people, equally fascinated by us&hellip;<br />&hellip; village itself is very simple&hellip; constructed out of wood and leaves&hellip; almost no sign at all of the strange stonework I observed elsewhere on the island&hellip; still, they have fascinating building techniques as I watched, and even helped them, to erect a new hut&hellip; shamans have an interesting altar, covered in crudely chiselled carvings, unlike the older stonework. From marks on the top, it appears to have once been the pedestal for a large statue&hellip; my suspicions confirmed. Legend says that generations ago there stood a giant gold statue, although something seems to have been lost in translation&hellip; made of solid gold, depicting the Sacred Monkey and honouring the Great Cobra&hellip; there must be some misunderstanding here, although I have asked many villagers&hellip; my best interpretation of the Sacred Monkey statue is doodled on the opposite page. As you can see, perhaps doodle is the wrong word to describe it. Ahaha. Just a little crude humour. I never noticed at first, but if you look closely at the paintings and carvings around the village, there does seem to be a great deal of phallic imagery&hellip;<br />&hellip; never would have imagined it, but after a week among these amazing monkeys, I myself have adopted some of their native customs, to try and help blend in and understand their culture and language. I admit I&rsquo;m not as fit as I once was, even after my rigorous venture in the new world, but being able to discard my restricting clothing in favour of, well, little more than a loincloth and some body paint, is quite liberating! It would also appear, through my rudimentary understanding of their language, that many of the village women find me remarkably attractive, to say the least. I don&rsquo;t mean to be modest, but I suspect this may have something to do with me being new and interesting, rather than my physical stature. Then again, my species does tend to be somewhat more well-endowed than most, I&rsquo;m no exception, and they do almost seem to worship&hellip; perhaps the clue is in the title of their deity, loosely translating as Great Cobra&hellip; countless euphemisms, associating snakes with&hellip; Trefi himself seems to be quite taken with one of the young ladies. Ouwala, as she is called, has been the one teaching us their native language, and begun learning some of our own&hellip;<br />&hellip; offended Ouwala&rsquo;s father, by accident of course. Poor Trefi&hellip; who knew her hand was promised to one of the village warriors? Interestingly, the warrior himself is not very well liked among the tribes people, but his family is particularly powerful&hellip; amusing parallels in society&hellip; invited to a special ceremony, in which Trefi is to be taken before the Great Cobra, where he and Ouwala&rsquo;s betrothed must compete, for their honour and the right to take Ouwala as mate&hellip; I am quite excited to witness the traditional ceremony myself, and, although I am reluctant to admit it, after all this rampant nudity I find myself eager to witness the final rite upon conclusion of the trials. Before the entire village, they must consummate their union, with his blessing, under the eyes of their deity! Apparently this is commonplace for mating ceremonies, although then only family members&hellip; these trials are such a rare event, the entire village is excited to see an outsider undergo&hellip; Trefi is apprehensive. And understandably so, after we learned the nature of these life-threatening challenges&hellip; if that wasn&rsquo;t bad enough, then, after all that, Trefi must engage the warrior in a fight to the death! Tomorrow Trefi shall either be wed, or dead&hellip; grim decision either way&hellip; offered to let Trefi turn down the challenge because we are outsiders, although we would be banished from the village, with free passage to another island&hellip; Trefi confessed his undying love for the beautiful Ouwala. I wish him luck tomorrow.<br />&hellip; the day has come&hellip; I have suspected for some time their &ldquo;deity&rdquo; is in fact the giant gold statue itself, with the disembodied voice of their god actually the chieftain or head priest&rsquo;s voice echoing in the cave, and will soon find out if I am right&hellip; warriors and shamans, and in fact all the villagers attending, appear to be decked out in their finest savagery, adorning their naked bodies with bones twined in their hair, skulls and other grim trophies, and special body paint, all contrasting harshly with the usually peaceful tribesmen and women&hellip; Trefi growing more agitated the closer we draw to the sacred caves, where one of the villagers has confirmed the golden statue resides&hellip; taken most of the day, but at last this is it. The cave entrance&hellip; carvings&hellip; paintings and totems&hellip; must come back to take notes&hellip;<br />&hellip; challengers must wait outside and enter last, from opposite entrances. The entire village is almost seated and ready&hellip; requested to wait with Trefi, my old friend, until the last possible moment&hellip; wished him good luck&hellip; dark inside, can hardly see to write&hellip; villagers seem anxious, excited&hellip; chieftain entered torchlight in the middle of a huge arena and instantly the assembled monkeys went silent&hellip; almost hear them holding their collective breath&hellip; torches are lit and flare around a gargantuan shape at the far end&hellip; so much gold&hellip; never imagined&hellip; so shiny&hellip; the slithering horror&hellip; terrible eyes&hellip; can&rsquo;t look away&hellip; dropped my book&hellip; villagers made their sacred signs in perfect unison, and found I myself was also drawn into the rhythm&hellip; grim silence as I picked up my book and found Trefi had already entered the ring&hellip;&nbsp;&nbsp;skin-crawling&hellip; EYES WATCHING!&hellip; the roar from the crowd as bloody battle was engaged&hellip; can&rsquo;t watch&hellip; horror&hellip; grinning monkey statue&hellip; sacred&hellip; LOOK AWAY&hellip; good god&hellip; NO! Can&rsquo;t be&hellip; solid gold&hellip; blood flew in the ring, Trefi or&hellip; don&rsquo;t know&hellip; madness in the eyes&hellip; some kind of frenzy&hellip; which challenge? &hellip; have to get out&hellip; watching&hellip; the eyes&hellip; boring into my soul&hellip; no! Keep out! Must get out! My eyes!&hellip; look at the eyes&hellip; what evil lies there beneath&hellip;?!&hellip; don&rsquo;t look&hellip; feel it&rsquo;s intent&hellip; IT desires&hellip; more than blood&hellip; my escape! Fresh air at last&hellip; got away while they were distracted&hellip; HE KNOWS&hellip; I hear him&hellip; calls to me, come back he says&hellip; promises&hellip; oh, so many wonderful promises&hellip;! Can&rsquo;t risk it&hellip; death and horror! Must get back to civilisation&hellip; madness&hellip; stay away!&hellip; Trefi&hellip; dead by now&hellip; follow me? &hellip; water everywhere&hellip; no land&hellip; help&hellip;? The&hellip; journal&hellip; warn them not to&hellip; death creeps&hellip; so hungry&hellip;&rdquo;</em><br /><br />Had WAAAAY too much fun writing that! I hope people read and enjoy it. Please disregard typos. Put them down to the explorer losing his sanity if you like. 0=P</span>",
  "writing": "",
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  "pools_count": 0,
  "title": "Spank That Monkey, Boy!",
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