You are alone, you always have been.

Once more you spend another night by yourself, at your monitor bombarding your consciousness with abstract visuals, fictional attractions in ample form through the means of drawn pornography: your whole life you have been like this, even as a kid when you would see various mascot or other cutesy cartoon characters.

Always animals, not that you would fuck a real one, god no...
It was probably something in your brain that went out of place, your grey matter forming correctly, but your fixations side-tracking it to something less regular, not that you really noticed or cared.

You were happy.
You are happy.
Are you happy?

No, there has always been a pit somewhere deep in your heart. You've tried several times to fill it with the love of another but in the end...what do you feel?

Nothing

That is until you look back to the smiling, cheery characters in your monitor; and there was one little guy that started all this, your first crush.

Rambley; at only 10 years old you saw him, he looked at you and waved with a huge grin on his face and even greeted you, that day something awoke within you.

Even now you think on that feeling you had and, what at the time you could not properly describe, a while after you knew it to be love as he was your first crush, but an intangible one.
When you fully grasped these feelings you went back to him, now entering puberty and it was overwhelming: in your hormone addled age what were once generalized events for the visitors was now something you took to be more personal, you really couldn't help it, I mean; you were autistic after all so taking to a cutesy animal character is something you found much easier than most people.

Even in naivety you knew not to admit what you were, you were just like any other teen so telling your parents that their son was a cartoon critter loving plushfucker was something they would never understand, so you bullshitted as any other way and told them you were having a hard time with girls and that it was nothing to worry about.

But you never knew how deep it all went, you really could not grasp how utterly PURE your love was for him until that one day.



The Summer sun was once more casting harsh rays onto you and your friends all discussing all the pop stars and teachers you like and wanna fuck, usual crass teenager talk. You were great at playing along, always like a pro you could slip into that air of normalcy; during such a conversation though a girl you didn't really talk to came up to you and handed over her number, it has been a while but she told you her friends had told her to just take a chance and ask out the guy she was into.
You gave her a half laugh and stuttered out that it would be great to meet up later.

It felt nice to know that someone had a kind of interest in you that would go beyond simple friendship, the other guys patted you on the back and high-fived you, looks like you were the first to pop their cherry.

And how right you would be.

You spent the evening with her seeing a movie, getting burgers the usual highschool date stuff, but when she asked to come home you could not turn her down, no way.
This was something you and your buddies were ecstatic for!

When you both came in your dad looked over and you noticed his gaze, he winked and she lead you upstairs, this was going to be it! You were finally going to become a man.

But when you both entered the room, something changed, was it doubt? You shook the feeling off and both sat on your bed, making sure not to already alert your patents to your shenanigans.

But it was not to be.

"Well? Is it getting any harder?"
"Don't hate me for this, but let me try to imagine something that instantly gets me going, okay?"

She smiled "Of course! So long as I get to...you know..."
But it was not meant to be as when you finally started to pitch a tent, it was to thoughts of...

"...Rambley?"
She touched your member through the fabric of your boxers and it deflated as soon as it rised.
You leaned forward and lowered her down, assuring her you could get it up and started to undress her, but even after several minutes of foreplay you could not get into the mood.

In fact: the movie was great, the burgers were delicious, but any moment you focused on her? Nothing, you could not muster an emotion, not even fake one.
You wore a smile to make it seem like things were okay, and for the coveted introduction to manhood.

When enough time had been wasted she got up and apologized and so did you, you told her you never had this problem before and she gave a sympathetic smile and took her leave.

Your dad later knocked on your door and you lied telling him she was not ready and was scared to go beyond kissing and groping, he nodded and wished you goodnight after.
It was already midnight and you could hear your parents going to bed.

You stayed up a little longer as it was a Friday and contemplated why you could not perform, you never did before but you had no problem cracking one out...
To cartoon boys...but that could also mean...

"...Rambley?"

You open your closer and take your Rambley plush out; despite how much time has passed he is still in near perfect condition, that might have something to do with obsessively cleaning him off when you did your "business" with him when you were younger. It was one of those special order ones that when you squeezed would produce one of many stock quotes.
You shrugged and did so as you had done many times before.

"...Never forget, no matter where you are, I am always here! Rambley!" Heh, just as you remember it.
"...You can ALWAYS count on me to be by your side!"
"...Aww, you wanna talk to me AGAIN? Am I your favourite?"
"...Clearly I am! Well guess what? YOU'RE my FAVOURITE too!!!"
"...Remember: noooo matter what! Rambley the Raccoon will always looooove you!"

...fuck...

You couldn't really explain it but you could feel your chest tighten; something was clearly wrong.

It shouldn't have happened but you could feel your emotions run high, tears were starting to form, this was not like meeting an old friend.

What was this feeling?

You looked over to your bed and looked back to the toy-no, that would be an insult.

You looked down at your first and most special crush, your love, right here in your arms; wearing that frozen unchanging smile, the warm expression giving more than a simple moment of peace and nostalgia.

..."What is wrong with me?" You say aloud to yourself.


Carrying your lover you place him on the bed and strip, your cock leaking a healthy amount of pre and painfully pulsing you  finally place it on top of his belly, the pre leaking onto his mouth.
What an obscene sight: seeing the facsimile of your lover in such a soft form, laying there as if he is ready to take you. Out of character would not even describe it!

The next few hours were spent engaging in unnatural love-making, you could not stop rutting and rubbing your cock in and on every spot imaginable, every orgasm would awaken more of that long dormant love.
You never thought about the stuff you wanked to; yeah it wasn't people, it was cartoon characters but fuck it you knew your dick would still get hard for women, or at least guys; you entertained those thoughts quite a bit as well, though never talked about it.

However, he was your world.
When you got that funny feeling in your pants you would always grab your plush or get a comic that had him and stare, his cute and probably squishy form helping you to take care of things quickly, after a while your crush became more of a factor in your masturbation sessions, but one day you decided to go cold turkey on the little guy, you were old enough to realize this was silly and you should seek a real partner, someone to develop real feelings for.

But those feelings for him were real, they always were.

Since then you've tried numerous times with numerous people, you thought the attraction to a male character would mean you'd have an easier time being with another of your own sex.

Even that would lead to early breakups or arguments, you were always too clingy or needed to be told you were loved, that you were special to them: the infantilization of Rambley's quips and material that he appeared in really fucked up your expectations of what love was supposed to be.

But every time another person left you could not help but almost feel relief: another night spent with your beloved furry guy, your little special cartoon lover.

Eventually the quest for the companionship of another stopped, and you started to grow happier.





It has been years since you've had a relationship with a tangible being but you were happy you got to experience time with a lover in the first place, albeit one that could not return that love.

Until now, you think, hopeful.



When morning, really the afternoon came, it was sunny so same thing to you, you ate breakfast and immediately made preparations.
A few nights ago you saw discussion online about this old amusement park.

It was the place you met your life long partner, Indigo Park.

For once you not only showered but dressed appropriately, applied deodorant, even threw some after shave in there, gotta be your best after all; Rambley is always at his best so why shouldn't you be for your reunion?

When the sun had set you made your journey, you got in your car and assessed what you were actually doing: You were going to an abandoned amusement park that you had once gone to as a child, to see your childhood crush and adult partner in person once more.

None of the machines would work but snagging a few more souvenirs? Maybe a comic or two you missed? Heck maybe even another few plushies? Why not, not like anyone would get in your way or stop you anyway.

You could even brag about it, telling fellow anons you braved the park at night and that yeah; all the superstitious stuff about it being haunted or something was all bullshit, why wouldn't it be?


Nerves fully steeled you can only think of being there in person again, to once more step on the grounds that would forever changed you no doubt for the worse all around, but that's okay.

Your goal may have been set but there was something else you desperately wanted.

You wanted to talk to him again, you had done so when you were younger so he won't recognize you, but that too is okay.

Once you arrived at the park once more after so long, the sight took you back: it was pitch black, nothing was illuminated other than what your headlights cast their namesake on.

You turn it all off and step out, you almost decided against it but brought a torch, barely used but put in some new batteries and you had your phone with you, just in case you saw anything cool, or your husband, either one is acceptable.

The cold air and darkness surrounding you creates no sense of unease, if anything you are only excited to see how things are nowadays; if by some margin everything is destroyed or has been stripped down at least you could say you went there to see if it was still a thing.

When you walk up to the front gate the lights are all off but you see next to it the empty line for registration, and there's a light on.
It's probably a backup generator, those things last forever, but when you take those first few ateps the blank screen chirps to life and once more you are greeted after so long by him.

"Hi there, and welc__ -Indigo Park! Th-H-Hh___{{{eeeee-____family fun experience! Jump into the woo--o--o-__" It kept producing loud screeches and he kept stuttering, it had been a while since they had seen use or seen any upkeep.

While the sudden surprise of your love appearing once more made you feel incredible joy this was not acceptable, you needed to properly hear him without any interference.
Just as you turn around a loud static sound rings then the same speech begins again, this time completely uninterrupted "WAIT! You're our first guest in 3755 days 9 hours 11 minutes and 20 seconds! Congratulations! " Had it really been that long? It took you a few moments to process how long it had been since anyone came to see him.

He motioned you to the registration desk and of course you would oblige "Hi I'm Rambley the Raccoon and it's my job to make sure you're r-registered! But first, I gotta get a gooood look at you...Hmm, you face seems to match another in our database but I'm not quite sure. It a-aa-similar to this face, maybe you just g-grew up?" for a brief moment a picture of  the last time you were here flashed on screen, he still remembered you? "Have kids of your own, or are you still a kid at heart? Well lucky for you! This isssss__day! Just head through the entrance and have a______great day!"

It took a while for you to get up; it had been so long and on your reunion day...it was business as usual for him.
You surmised that the AI system had not seen any significant update in a long time, a feature that was advertised was that Rambley would remember long time guests and address them in far more personal ways, giving the mascot character more life than any other had.
The fact he even remembered you though was something else, you expected him to see you as a new guest to the park, you wanted to cry then and there.

You went through the main entrance which somehow opened without any hitching and saw the gift shop was closed, you thought of ways to break in but continued on until a screen above the turn gate turned on "Before you can get into the park, you need a critter cuff! Why? Because it lets you get in, you can get access to the gift shop AND you'll get a critter cuff!"

This is where the memories of your time here really came flooding back, though there was a lot more dust here than before and you're pretty sure one corner of the place was not flooded with debris, you walk up to the counter and quickly put it on, looks odd on your adult, hairy arm but you can't complain.

You see a plush of Rambley, not a talking one and pick it up, content with taking something of your loved one home. When you go to leave the alarm sounds and the door shuts "Oh no! It seems you forgot to pay for your...oh is that me? Well I may be flattered, but you still MUST pay for it, or otherwise you are stealing! And that is wrong and can hurt people!" You shrugged and went to the register and scanned the item, again you could not believe it actually beeped and you printed off the receipt so you could move on.

"Uh oh! The door mysteeeeriously locked! Why not test out your band and save the day!" You couldn't help but let out a laugh, it really had been too long since you were last here.
"Hooray! Great work, buddy! Now try entering the park so w-we___start our Indigo__!"

You went on ahead to see if there was anything noteworthy to snap pics of and while there was a lot of debris and junk strewn around the statue in the middle of the entrance area was still there, a few scratches but intact.

You press onto the one area you remember the least, Rambley Railway...

He appeared once more and gave a stock speech about why he loved his own ride, cute as it was, you jumped over the queue barricade and once more you heard him "N_____ooo cutting in line, mister! I thought you adults knew to be more behaved than that!" You feel a little guilty but keep jumping over them, but once you get to the ride the lights around it shut off "I'm sorry you cannot behave in such a way! Go back to the end of the...aww, I'm just kidding! Seeing as your th____th...the only person here right now...or for the past few...y____years? I guess it's okay...but only this once!" The lights exploded back to life, blinding you for a moment and you jumped on the ride, expecting it not to go anywhere but obliged because it was focused on your lover.


To your surprise the thing was already turned on and then it all came flooding back; the music, the cute pseudo-dancing of Rambley.

The small tour of the attractions went by relatively fine, barely anything went wrong other than the collapsed ceiling in some places.
But you had a goal: a place where you could properly talk to him; his AI for its time was incredibly advanced and it could not only recognize everyday talk but would even have words added to the database to further train from, usually by looking them up online.

Going by your memories of the park you could talk to him on a computer after you had been there a few times, it was treated as a loyalty benefit but was probably the easiest bonus to set up and have people use, if your knowledge of AI chat bots were anything to go by.

Right from the start this was an irrational thing to do and you knew that realistically you wouldn't get much from this place, but getting to talk to him just once more is what you really wanted, you could finally put your mind at ease knowing that for one last time, since you saw him as a lover, that he would talk with you even if it was limited.


When you got off the ride you kept moving, making sure to retrace your steps from so far back and to your surprise you quickly found the place: It was a barely disguised office with posters of only Rambley and some had kids photoshopped onto them, like he was taking a picture with them; only the last 10 would be put on the walls and some of these were dated further back then you thought.

You sat down to turn on the PC with stickers of him on them when it sprang to life, was it in sleep mode?

"Wow, already want to have your picture taken? You know those who are about to leave do that, right? Well, I guess you...umm.....y__________I'm sorry I don't seem to have the proper words to deal with such a situation, please give me a moment..." The computer screen displayed him trying to connect to the internet but it did not work, he apologised and tried again. You thought to help him and look around the place, the modem was disconnected but that might have not been enough.

But it was!

"...Now, what was I saying? Oh yeah! If you're going to leave so soon, would you like your picture taken at least...or..." He sounded unsure of what he was saying, you haven't heard that tone of voice before.
"...Why are you here? This place was closed down a while ago, but they never thought to turn me off, or the others actually. This place as you can see is not operational any more. The microphone works by the way, I can hear you breathing and your face seems to indicate you are surprised by this too."


This was finally it, you could finally talk to him after so long...but if you just confessed right now it would come off as incredibly odd.
"I'm the guy at the entrance, when you checked me and you remembered me from years ago, I came here because it had been a while and I was curious if the place was still open!" You lied, knowing that it was closed quite a while back, but not knowing exactly how long.

"I see, well thanks for checking up on me! But this place has been closed for quite a while, the last person to be scanned in was a staff member who did some maintenance work, he just ignored me and worked away on the electronics on this place, he was responsible for a lot of the lights being off. He went to a part of the park I could not watch over and must have left soon after."
"Must have been pretty lonely?"

He gave me a sad look then looked down to the plush I was still carrying "Oh! You got a Rambley Raccoon plush toy! Is that for your kid!"

Once more you reflected on what you really were: some loser who could not form connections like any other person so escaped back to the realm of cartoons and furry characters, specifically male ones, them being the same gender as you makes you feel more comfortable and safe knowing one who is usually depicted as stoic is instead shown to be entirely earnest and welcoming.

"No I got it for myself."
"Ah, well I do have quite a few fans...I did...well, it's nice to know someone still thinks about me!"

'Fan' is putting it very lightly.
Fuck it, you were gonna try to see how he would react to your true feelings, but only bits at a time, you HAD to know!

"I think about you every day, when I lay in bed I usually have you around my arms, I like to sleep with you because it soothes me and makes me feel happy."

For a brief moment he has a smile then it goes to a concerned look, then back to a smile "Huh, well that is nice! It's always nice to think of the good times you had! Every night though..."
"Every night."

That concerned look came back "Oh, well um, well if you can share those memories with someone you love then I guess that's fine too!"
"I am sharing it with someone I love."
"Awwwwww, you are very sweet! But I mean...someone in your life!"

This wasn't gonna be easy "I don't really have many other people, other than my work colleagues. You are that someone!"
Now his expression was neutral and for a few seconds was quiet, he finally switched to a nervous smile "Wow! That's...really...nice of you! But...oh forget it. So...you clearly have an attraction to me and I never thought I would hear that from anyone, let alone an adult! I was not trained to deal with someone like you but that's okay, it's not like I'll be trained any more anyway...I tried looking this kind of thing up in my database, then on the Internet but I got nothing. Parental block didn't help."

"It's love, not much else to look into. I love you."
"The first person to visit in so long and it's someone who is in love with me...well; least you aren't here to strip the place and close everything off. But this is still very weird: you DO know I'm a friendly AI companion meant to guide and entertain people around the park, right?"
"I know that, and when I saw you for the first time I fell in love with you, I didn't realise it at the time..."

He once more flashed a nervous smile but then relaxed "I guess I have someone to talk to now at least. So, since a kid, eh? How did you love me? Did you wanna hold hands or something?"
"At first, but when I got older I...you know..."
"No, I don't know. If it's some kind of rude implication I am restricted from gaining that information myself."

You may as well, you've came this far.

"I, uh, pleasured myself to you..."
He gave a confused look and shrugged.
"I rubbed my...dick against you, the plush of you I mean."
"Dick? What's that? Do I have one."

You stand up and pull down your trouser pants, letting your half-mast cock free "Wait! That's not appropriate! There could be other people around! Please...oh yeah, there's no one around. Sorry, some of my reactions are scripted to certain events. So your private parts are called a 'Dick'? So you would pee on me? That's kind of gross...I'm sorry, I mean. Don't you think it could damage your plush to urinate on it? It wears down the material and stuff!"

You knew that reaction was genuine and realised he was far more innocent than you thought.
"No, I rub it or poke it against you until white stuff comes out, it's called cum. It means I really love you and wish I could do it to you for real, not as a plush but as a cute raccoon person."
He seemed to be processing things, not in a shocked way but in the way an AI has to absorb new information on the fly.
"I know that's impossible, but it is something I think about often. By the way..." I gripped the base of my cock and it instantly became hard "I know I can't do it with you, but would you be okay if I demonstrated what I usually do?"

He had an incredulous look on his face, did I go too far?
"...I can't stop you. You really, really like me huh? Okay, show me...uh, your umm..." he had a blush on his face "I think I'm starting to really understand what you're feeling about me..."

As was routine you placed the slightly dusty plush you picked up and placed your cock on it, starting to rub it against the bottom of your cock, your lover looked at your action, eye son your dick rubbing against him, his expressions changing from one of curiosity to one of surprise, then disgust, then surprise again when you shove the tip against his mouth.

Your breathing gets heavier and you start getting more aggressive "Are you okay? Do you need help? I can-" "No, I'm just doing what I do to you every night, honey."
You buck your hips and keep rubbing and poking against his face, usually you last much longer than this but being in the presence of your love had changed things greatly, you turn him around and shove your cock against where his asshole would be, you grunt and keep thrusting and rubbing, trying not to damage it.

Eventually you feel it building up and just as you release you place the plush on the desk and blow your load, its thick and smelly, the sheer pleasure enough to make you sit back down and go light headed for a moment.
"Wow...is, is that what...is that what it means to, as you say, cum? That looked like it felt nice...but I feel like it's really inappropriate!"

"I do it because I love you." You clean your cock by rubbing the bead of cum at your tip on the plush and pull your pants back up "I came here to see what things were like and maybe take a few pictures, or take a toy ro something home as I came here all the time, we even talked and had our picture taken before, but that was very long ago. The fact the place still had power and you appeared was surprising enough, but the fact we could talk once more..."

"Gosh, this really means a lot to you...look, this place isn't gonna be opened back up any time soon and it's not like I have anyone else to talk to...so..."
"Of course I'll come back! I've missed you for so long and have wanted to hear you talk in person again! As I said before I love you!"

Once more he let out a concerned look but corrected it to a big smile "So it is settled then! From now on I'll expecting you back at least once a day! Can you do that?"
Fuck, your crush is now asking you to...come back? Every day at that?

You excitedly told him you could do that and asked for something you thought he had no response for.

"The sun is starting to rise...before I go, can I ask for a kiss?"
"A kiss? You mean like on the cheek or..."
"No, on the lips!"

He looked around playfully, to make sure no one else was there "Geez, you know that's a grown up kiss, right? Ah, sorry, another scripted response. I know what you mean, it's just that...I've never done anything like that before. Honestly I feel really nervous about this, even though I can't actually give you one...but you are the first guest, well you're not really just a guest are you? You're someone more special, I suppose..."
He looks away, blushing again, you didn't even know that was a pose of his.

"...Just put your lips up to the screen, okay? Mmmmuah!"

We smiled at each other and I waved him goodbye, promising him I would come back every day, or night.

As I left I saw a screen with him on it, clearly sad I was leaving but I had to head home and get some sleep, your sleep schedule was fucked up but you didn't care.

You went to the part to take some neat pics and maybe take a hopefully not so damaged souvenir or two, you left with far more than you could ever dream of.

Your lover knowing how you feel and returning those feelings, well somewhat, in time he will fall in love as you are the only one to have spoken to him in ages, at least that's what you hope.