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Raph couldn't believe it, he had actually tried to choke his brother to death. In his head he could still see the fear in Mikey's eyes as he was choking him, something he never thought that he would do to his own brother.\n\nSuddenly there was a loud knock on the door, it almost made him jump out of his shell, Raph ran to the door and locked the door before it opened, out of fear of someone coming in anyway, he held both hands on the door, ready to push it closed again if necessary, ``Raph, let me in'' Leo demanded angrily through the door, ``NO!'' Raph screamed with horror, ``I don't want to hurt ya too...please...just, just leave me alone'' he pleaded almost crying, then he heard Leo's footsteps walking away, which made him feel a little better, but he was still shaking all over.\n\nScared that anybody would come in and that he would hurt them, he went over to his dresser and pushed it over in front of the door to block it, after that was done, he felt his knees giving up under him, and he fell to his knees crying, he ended up crying himself to sleep right there on the floor.\n\nRaph woke up with pain on his left side from sleeping on the floor, but he didn't really care about it, because in his mind he deserved much worse pain. He got up and walked over to his futon in the corner, where he got it out and sat down on the middle of it. Thinking about what he needed to change about himself in order to avoid killing his brothers, he started to meditate, because maybe it might work for him.\n\nOpening his eyes, he found himself in a strange room, it was dark with very little light and there was pieces of broken stones, wood, metal and glass all over the place. He looked around and found broken furniture and other things too, then he saw a thin weak looking little tot, it was trying to put together a broken thing, ``hey, where am I?'' Raph asked calmly, the tot got startled and dropped the thing, ``sorry, sorry'' the tot said over and over again with fear all over it's face, but before Raph could say anything, the tot got up and ran out the room, and the door closed after him, Raph tried to follow but the door was locked, *great, now what?* he thought annoyed.\n\n``Well, this place could use some serious cleaning and fixing'' he said annoyed, *alright then* he thought with determination. He started with finding candles and lit them and place them in different places until the whole room was lit up, then he started to sort everything into different piles, when that was done, he started to sort the stones by color and texture.\n\nWhen he was ready, he started to piece the stones back together, and while he did that, he noticed that the cracks would disappear, but the most noticeable was the memories attached to them, they came alive in front of him, in the middle of the room, and he didn't like what he was seeing, but he had to get through this or he was never going to be able to change, that he knew, because their father had told him that once or twice.\n\nWhile working he noticed the little tot peaking at him from the doorway, he also noticed that the tot got more and more healthy and stronger looking too, but never older, he wondered why that was, but was happy to see the little one getting better.\n\nAll of the memories that he saw were bad in one way or another, but he got through them one by one, until he had every piece put back together of every pile. Once he was done putting everything back together, he got up and found the cleaning supplies, and started to clean the entire room from top to bottom, even the ceiling got cleaned, he made sure to clean every inch of the room.\n\nAs he was cleaning, he noticed that everything even the ceiling, walls and floor changed colors from black and dark colors to light colors that he liked and found calming. Cleaning the room somehow made him feel better, so much so that he started to hum a happy tune, when he was done cleaning, he decided to start putting the things in order, in order to make the room come together, and not just look like a storage room.\n\nWhile he was putting things in their new place, he noticed that he got happier and things started to bug him less. When he was done, he looked around and was proud of the room, the floor, ceiling and walls were light sand colored. There was a light wooden bedframe with white bedding and a red turtle plushie, a light wooden bedstand with a silver lamp on it, and a big light gray fluffy fur rug on the floor by the bed, there was also a calm painting of a waterfall, on the wall above the bed, all in one corner of the room. The other corner had a living room setting, with a light gray couch with a red blanket over one side arm, a light wooden coffee table, a light wooden tv table, a floor lamp in silver with a white lamp screen and a 22'' tv.\n\nThe third corner had a bathroom setting, with a tub, a sink, a toilet all three in white with silver features, there was also a full body mirror on the wall, and a light wooden bookcase with towels on the shelves, on the sink there was a glass with a toothbrush and toothpaste in it, next to a piece of light green soap, and on the wall was a white lamp. The last corner was more like a dojo and meditation room in one, with the tatami mats on the floor, and the white walls with the light wooden grit pattern, there was a small book case with candles and burning essence on it, and the hanging lamps down from the ceiling.\n\nRaph turned around and saw the tot hiding in the door, ``do ya like it?'' he asked the tot calmly, the tot looked around with wonder, before happily screaming ``YAY!'' and running in to see everything up close, the tot came over to him and gave him a big hug and a happy smile, before happily saying ``thank ya'' ``heh, no problem kiddo'' Raph answered with a crocked smile, the tot went to the bed and went to sleep, therefor he decide to leave the tot alone, he turned for the door and found it wide open, after walking through the door, he found himself in a new room, that was just as big a mess as the last one, but in this room there was a weak looking pre-teen turtle, ``hey there'' Raph said gently, the turtle did the same as the tot had and ran with fear out the door at the opposite side of the room, ``okay, let's get ta work'' Raph said with a small smile, and started doing what he had done in the last room.\n\nIn each of the first three rooms Raph would sort everything in piles, first by material, then by color and texture, before putting everything back together, then he would clean the entire room, before putting everything in place, and while he did all of that work, the turtle that belonged to the room would get better and better until he was done. The first room belonged to a turtle tot, the second room a pre-teen turtle and the third room a teen turtle, but room number four was different, because there was no turtle in there, Raph looked around and found that the room looked just like his bedroom, but this one felt cold and had dark colors, ``is this how my room really feels like?'' he said sadly, *this needs to change now* he thought with determination.\n\nRaph found out that he could leave the room this time, because one of the doors was open and it led to a storage room almost full of different materials, which was good because he was going to need it. He started by cleaning the room and everything in it, while moving everything to one corner of the room. Then he sat down and started to plan how he wanted the room to look, once he had the plan set, he started working with bringing in the materials for the first thing he was going to build. \n\nOnce he was done making a thing and putting it in its new place, he would start the next thing, and he made sure to make the big things first, and work his way down to the small things, he kept on doing this until the room was the way he wanted it.\n\nHe found that the more he worked, the more he would change for the better, even his way of speaking got better, he no longer spoke slang, which he was actually happy about, because now he didn't sound like an idiot. He even found that he was getting smarter, not smart like Donnie was, but smart in a different way and he liked it.\n\nWhen he was done with the last thing, that was when he started to clean up every inch of the room. Once he was completely done with the room, he felt tired therefor he went to bed, but when his head hit the pillow, he felt his body get heavy and warm like he had a fever, then he started to hear a mumble from somewhere near him, but he couldn't see anybody.\n\n``Raph, I hope you can hear me, please come back to us, we need you, even I need you, please bro, come back to us'' Raph heard a voice plead, ``ngh'' Raph answered groggily, ``Raph!'' Mikey screamed surprised, ``Raph?'' Donnie asked concerned, ``Mikey move'' Donnie said firmly, Mikey seemed to do as told, because the air beside him moved, ``Raph, can you hear me?'' Donnie asked in his doctor tone, Raph opened his eyes slowly and saw that Leo and their father was there too, ``what happened?'' he asked with a hoarse voice, ``we came in three days after you locked yourself in here, and found you passed out on your futon with a high fever. We tried to wake you up, but you didn't respond to anything, then father said that you were properly having an inside fight with yourself, and we had to wait for you to wake up on your own. We were really worried about you. You have been out for almost seven months'' Donnie explained.\n\n``Seven months? Really?'' Raph said surprised to himself, ``how are you, Mikey? Are you scared of me?'' Raph asked concerned while looking at Mikey, Mikey came over and sat back down next to him, he took Raph's hand in his and said calmly ``no, not anymore. I have been spending the first four months learning to forgive you for what happened that day'' he felt tears falling and gently pulled Mikey's hand towards his face, and gave Mikey a gentle kiss on the back of his hand, ``I am so sorry for putting you through all of that'' he cried with his eyes closed, while nuzzling Mikey's hand, ``Raph'' Mikey almost whispered sadly, Mikey leaned down and gave him a tender kiss on the mouth, when the kiss broke, Raph gently kissed Mikey back. Then Mikey pulled away with a happy smile, ``what do you want to eat? Anything you want, I'll make it for you'' Mikey said cheerfully, Raph chuckled and happily answered ``cheese omelet'' ``you got it'' Mikey said smiling, before bouncing up and out the door.\n\n``I promise you, things will be different from now on'' Raph said firmly, ``I've had a lot of time to fix things in my head'' he said with a smile, he saw them look puzzled at him, but he just smiled at them sweetly, ``Donnie, I am going to need to make a lot of changes to my bedroom, therefor I am going to need a lot of different materials, I'll write a list and make some drawings to help you see what we are going to be making'' Raph said calmly with a smile, ``oh, alright, Raph'' Donnie answered confused.\n\nThe end.\n\n", "writing_bbcode_parsed": "Pacing around in his room and trying to calm down, because he knew that he really messed up this time, he almost killed Mikey with his own two hands. Raph couldn't believe it, he had actually tried to choke his brother to death. In his head he could still see the fear in Mikey's eyes as he was choking him, something he never thought that he would do to his own brother.

Suddenly there was a loud knock on the door, it almost made him jump out of his shell, Raph ran to the door and locked the door before it opened, out of fear of someone coming in anyway, he held both hands on the door, ready to push it closed again if necessary, ``Raph, let me in'' Leo demanded angrily through the door, ``NO!'' Raph screamed with horror, ``I don't want to hurt ya too...please...just, just leave me alone'' he pleaded almost crying, then he heard Leo's footsteps walking away, which made him feel a little better, but he was still shaking all over.

Scared that anybody would come in and that he would hurt them, he went over to his dresser and pushed it over in front of the door to block it, after that was done, he felt his knees giving up under him, and he fell to his knees crying, he ended up crying himself to sleep right there on the floor.

Raph woke up with pain on his left side from sleeping on the floor, but he didn't really care about it, because in his mind he deserved much worse pain. He got up and walked over to his futon in the corner, where he got it out and sat down on the middle of it. Thinking about what he needed to change about himself in order to avoid killing his brothers, he started to meditate, because maybe it might work for him.

Opening his eyes, he found himself in a strange room, it was dark with very little light and there was pieces of broken stones, wood, metal and glass all over the place. He looked around and found broken furniture and other things too, then he saw a thin weak looking little tot, it was trying to put together a broken thing, ``hey, where am I?'' Raph asked calmly, the tot got startled and dropped the thing, ``sorry, sorry'' the tot said over and over again with fear all over it's face, but before Raph could say anything, the tot got up and ran out the room, and the door closed after him, Raph tried to follow but the door was locked, *great, now what?* he thought annoyed.

``Well, this place could use some serious cleaning and fixing'' he said annoyed, *alright then* he thought with determination. He started with finding candles and lit them and place them in different places until the whole room was lit up, then he started to sort everything into different piles, when that was done, he started to sort the stones by color and texture.

When he was ready, he started to piece the stones back together, and while he did that, he noticed that the cracks would disappear, but the most noticeable was the memories attached to them, they came alive in front of him, in the middle of the room, and he didn't like what he was seeing, but he had to get through this or he was never going to be able to change, that he knew, because their father had told him that once or twice.

While working he noticed the little tot peaking at him from the doorway, he also noticed that the tot got more and more healthy and stronger looking too, but never older, he wondered why that was, but was happy to see the little one getting better.

All of the memories that he saw were bad in one way or another, but he got through them one by one, until he had every piece put back together of every pile. Once he was done putting everything back together, he got up and found the cleaning supplies, and started to clean the entire room from top to bottom, even the ceiling got cleaned, he made sure to clean every inch of the room.

As he was cleaning, he noticed that everything even the ceiling, walls and floor changed colors from black and dark colors to light colors that he liked and found calming. Cleaning the room somehow made him feel better, so much so that he started to hum a happy tune, when he was done cleaning, he decided to start putting the things in order, in order to make the room come together, and not just look like a storage room.

While he was putting things in their new place, he noticed that he got happier and things started to bug him less. When he was done, he looked around and was proud of the room, the floor, ceiling and walls were light sand colored. There was a light wooden bedframe with white bedding and a red turtle plushie, a light wooden bedstand with a silver lamp on it, and a big light gray fluffy fur rug on the floor by the bed, there was also a calm painting of a waterfall, on the wall above the bed, all in one corner of the room. The other corner had a living room setting, with a light gray couch with a red blanket over one side arm, a light wooden coffee table, a light wooden tv table, a floor lamp in silver with a white lamp screen and a 22'' tv.

The third corner had a bathroom setting, with a tub, a sink, a toilet all three in white with silver features, there was also a full body mirror on the wall, and a light wooden bookcase with towels on the shelves, on the sink there was a glass with a toothbrush and toothpaste in it, next to a piece of light green soap, and on the wall was a white lamp. The last corner was more like a dojo and meditation room in one, with the tatami mats on the floor, and the white walls with the light wooden grit pattern, there was a small book case with candles and burning essence on it, and the hanging lamps down from the ceiling.

Raph turned around and saw the tot hiding in the door, ``do ya like it?'' he asked the tot calmly, the tot looked around with wonder, before happily screaming ``YAY!'' and running in to see everything up close, the tot came over to him and gave him a big hug and a happy smile, before happily saying ``thank ya'' ``heh, no problem kiddo'' Raph answered with a crocked smile, the tot went to the bed and went to sleep, therefor he decide to leave the tot alone, he turned for the door and found it wide open, after walking through the door, he found himself in a new room, that was just as big a mess as the last one, but in this room there was a weak looking pre-teen turtle, ``hey there'' Raph said gently, the turtle did the same as the tot had and ran with fear out the door at the opposite side of the room, ``okay, let's get ta work'' Raph said with a small smile, and started doing what he had done in the last room.

In each of the first three rooms Raph would sort everything in piles, first by material, then by color and texture, before putting everything back together, then he would clean the entire room, before putting everything in place, and while he did all of that work, the turtle that belonged to the room would get better and better until he was done. The first room belonged to a turtle tot, the second room a pre-teen turtle and the third room a teen turtle, but room number four was different, because there was no turtle in there, Raph looked around and found that the room looked just like his bedroom, but this one felt cold and had dark colors, ``is this how my room really feels like?'' he said sadly, *this needs to change now* he thought with determination.

Raph found out that he could leave the room this time, because one of the doors was open and it led to a storage room almost full of different materials, which was good because he was going to need it. He started by cleaning the room and everything in it, while moving everything to one corner of the room. Then he sat down and started to plan how he wanted the room to look, once he had the plan set, he started working with bringing in the materials for the first thing he was going to build.

Once he was done making a thing and putting it in its new place, he would start the next thing, and he made sure to make the big things first, and work his way down to the small things, he kept on doing this until the room was the way he wanted it.

He found that the more he worked, the more he would change for the better, even his way of speaking got better, he no longer spoke slang, which he was actually happy about, because now he didn't sound like an idiot. He even found that he was getting smarter, not smart like Donnie was, but smart in a different way and he liked it.

When he was done with the last thing, that was when he started to clean up every inch of the room. Once he was completely done with the room, he felt tired therefor he went to bed, but when his head hit the pillow, he felt his body get heavy and warm like he had a fever, then he started to hear a mumble from somewhere near him, but he couldn't see anybody.

``Raph, I hope you can hear me, please come back to us, we need you, even I need you, please bro, come back to us'' Raph heard a voice plead, ``ngh'' Raph answered groggily, ``Raph!'' Mikey screamed surprised, ``Raph?'' Donnie asked concerned, ``Mikey move'' Donnie said firmly, Mikey seemed to do as told, because the air beside him moved, ``Raph, can you hear me?'' Donnie asked in his doctor tone, Raph opened his eyes slowly and saw that Leo and their father was there too, ``what happened?'' he asked with a hoarse voice, ``we came in three days after you locked yourself in here, and found you passed out on your futon with a high fever. We tried to wake you up, but you didn't respond to anything, then father said that you were properly having an inside fight with yourself, and we had to wait for you to wake up on your own. We were really worried about you. You have been out for almost seven months'' Donnie explained.

``Seven months? Really?'' Raph said surprised to himself, ``how are you, Mikey? Are you scared of me?'' Raph asked concerned while looking at Mikey, Mikey came over and sat back down next to him, he took Raph's hand in his and said calmly ``no, not anymore. I have been spending the first four months learning to forgive you for what happened that day'' he felt tears falling and gently pulled Mikey's hand towards his face, and gave Mikey a gentle kiss on the back of his hand, ``I am so sorry for putting you through all of that'' he cried with his eyes closed, while nuzzling Mikey's hand, ``Raph'' Mikey almost whispered sadly, Mikey leaned down and gave him a tender kiss on the mouth, when the kiss broke, Raph gently kissed Mikey back. Then Mikey pulled away with a happy smile, ``what do you want to eat? Anything you want, I'll make it for you'' Mikey said cheerfully, Raph chuckled and happily answered ``cheese omelet'' ``you got it'' Mikey said smiling, before bouncing up and out the door.

``I promise you, things will be different from now on'' Raph said firmly, ``I've had a lot of time to fix things in my head'' he said with a smile, he saw them look puzzled at him, but he just smiled at them sweetly, ``Donnie, I am going to need to make a lot of changes to my bedroom, therefor I am going to need a lot of different materials, I'll write a list and make some drawings to help you see what we are going to be making'' Raph said calmly with a smile, ``oh, alright, Raph'' Donnie answered confused.

The end.

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