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Don is going to be mad at you again'' Mikey said teasingly, ``I know'' Raph sighted.\n\nAfter putting the cleaning supplies back, and emptying the bucket of dirty water in the toilet, he then went to the infirmary to get treated by Don.\n\nRaph tried his best to walk normally to the infirmary, but it hurt more than it usually did, and that scared him, because if his leg was broken, then it would mean that he would have to be more alone with Splinter. But after he had taken the beatings for years, he knew how to handle it even when he went top side with his brothers.\n\n``Hi Don'' Raph said carefully while walking over to the examination table, Don didn't say anything he just looked annoyed at him. He got up on the table and laid down on his shell, and just tried to relax while Don got to work on him.\n\nThey didn't say one word to each other, while Don was working on him. Raph just laid there and as always, he had an internal talk with himself, about if he should take the chance and tell Don the truth or stay quiet as always.\n\nHe decided as always to keep quiet about the abuse, because he didn't want to put them in danger of Splinter. If Splinter started to hurt them, then there would be no way that he could ever forgive himself.\n\nThe scary scenarios in his head made him start to cry, but he held back the tears as always. ``There all done'' Don's words broke him out of it and back to reality, ``thanks Don'' he said while getting up and off the table, ``your leg is broken, so take it easy, understood'' Don said firmly, ``you really should stop this you know, it's not good for you'' Don said sternly, ``I know and I'll try'' he said and gave him a small smile.\n\nRaph went to his room and closed and locked the door behind him, so he could be alone to cry, before going early to bed. He knew he would need to heal fast, so that he could take another beating soon.\n\nHe hated this, he hated being Splinter's punching bag, but he knew why he was doing it, he was doing it to spare his brothers from this pain.\n\nEvery time Splinter got mad or frustrated with just one of them, then he would take it out on Raph later, and Raph knew it, after all it had been happening ever since they were six years old.\n\nRaph wrote everything down in his secret books, that not even Splinter knew about, and he made sure to hide the books well, so well that they wouldn't even just fall out of hiding by accident.\n\nThe next morning everything was still the same. All the beatings had blended together for Raph, and the same came to the days too.\n\nWhen it came to holidays, he never had a gift for his brothers or Splinter, and why should he get anything, when the night before Splinter would destroy the gifts, so he had nothing to give them anyway. Therefor Raph had given up on the whole gift giving thing when he was eight.\n\nRaph had written in his books, just how much it had hurt him, that he couldn't give his brothers a gift, and why it had hurt him.\n\nEvery kind of pain that Splinter had given him, had been written down in those books. Even the pain of not being able to enjoy a present, for more than a few hours, before Splinter would destroy his presents while telling him ``you don't deserve any presents, when you haven't given any yourself.''\n\nRaph had learned that this was the way life was for him, and he had accepted it. But when it came to the beatings, he would scream of pain and cry, just to give Splinter the satisfaction of hurting him, but it was more to avoid Splinter going after one of his brothers.\n\n......................................................\n\nHe was at home with a broken leg, while the others were over at April's place, they were helping her move some things around, and he had been grounded until his leg was healed. There was just one problem for him, Splinter was also home and in a bad mode, which was bad for him, because he couldn't out run Splinter.\n\nSplinter came over to him and slapped him so hard, that he fell out of the chair, ``aww'' Raph cried, he knew better than to ask why or plead him to stop now. He stood over Raph now with his cane in the air, Raph caught the cane out in the corner of his eye, and he instinctively curled together waiting for the blow.\n\n``sit up'' Splinter said in a threating voice, Raph did as told and kept his head down, ``hold your hands out with palms up'' Splinter almost growled at him, he did what Splinter wanted and fast, so the whole thing would be over with faster.\n\nHit after hit, he took them all no matter how much pain he was feeling, Raph cried and screamed until after Splinter was done. ``Go wash your hands'' Splinter said coldly and left.\n\nRaph got up and went to the bathroom, once inside, he went to the sinks and tried to take a hold of the taps, but his hands hurt so bad, that he could barely move his fingers even a little.\n\nHe gave up and went to the infirmary and waited for Don to come back. By the time they came home, Raph's bruises on his hands were one big black and blue mark.\n\nDon came into the infirmary and saw Raph sitting there crying silently, Raph looked up and saw Don standing there, ``you hit your leg again?'' Don said annoyed, ``no it is my hands, I can't move them at all'' Raph said sobbing.\n\nHe came over to Raph and saw his hands, Don's eyes became big when he saw the two giant bruises, ``what the shell did you do?'' Don said surprised mixed with concern, ``I don't know, I was asleep when it happened, the pain woke me up and then I went in here to wait for you'' Raph said sadly like he was about to cry again.\n\n``Okay, well sit still and let me get the x-ray machine, so I can get a better look at your hands'' Don said calmly, ``okay'' Raph said softly.\n\nDon came over with a metal table, ``put your hands on here and keep still'' Don said calmly, Raph did as told while trying not to cry.\n\nAfter the x-ray was taken, Don put everything back in place, and went over to check the x-ray. Don's mouth fell open and quickly closed again, but his eyes stayed big with shock.\n\n``Your hands are broken in several places. I will have to put a cast on them right now'' Don said worried, ``okay, then when will I be able to use my hands again?'' Raph asked nervously, ``you know it takes about three weeks for our bones to heal'' Don said calmly, ``right'' Raph said worried.\n\n``Well looks like we can't leave you home alone, at least not until all of your injuries are healed'' Leo said firmly, ``I think you are right about that'' Raph sighted, ``good, then we are all staying home until you are all healed up, and ready to join us top side again'' Leo said calmly but firmly.\n\nDon came over with everything he needed to put the casts on, and got started carefully with one hand at the time. Raph tried not to cry or scream, while Don was working on his hands. Don had to stretch the hands out in order to get the cast on properly.\n\nBoth Don and Leo noticed the pain in Raph every time, Don touched Raph's hands, but neither of them said anything about it.\n\nWhen Don was finally done and the cast had hardened, Raph got down from the table and started to walk towards his room, while keeping his head down, but he made it look like he was watching where he was walking.\n\nRaph noticed that Don said something to Leo, but he was to far away to hear what it was, and right now he didn't care.\n\nHe made it to his room, but the door was closed and he couldn't open it himself, he was about to turn and call for help, when Mikey showed up and opened the door for him, ``need anything else, bro?'' Mikey said giving a small smile, ``thanks Mikey. How about helping me get into my bed, and stay and read a little to me?'' Raph asked with a small smile, ``sure bro'' Mikey said happily.\n\nMikey helped Raph get over to his futon and down onto it, ``comfy?'' Mikey asked a little worried, ``yes, thank you'' Raph said smiling, ``what should I read to you?'' Mikey asked curiously, ``how about that book under my hammock'' Raph said smiling while pointing with his whole hand toward his hammock, ``you got it'' Mikey said while getting the book.\n\nWhile Mikey was reading to Raph, Don came into the room and closed the door behind him, ``hey'' Don said smiling, ``hey Don'' Mikey said smiling back, ``Raph, I know you don't like medicine, but I have something to help you sleep'' Don said a little nervous.\n\n``Thanks Don. I could use some of that right now'' Raph admitted with a small smile, Don came over to him and kneeled down next to him, then he took the needle and gave him the shot. Raph was fast asleep before Don was even finished giving the shot.\n\n................................................\n\nRaph woke up with a head that felt a little heavy, like it always did when he had been under for some time, and the missing cast on his hands and leg told him that it was true, he had been gone for some time, now he was mad at Don.\n\nHe got out of bed and went looking for Don, after he came out of his room, he heard his brothers inside Don's lab. Furiously he went over to the door and stopped, when he saw a big glass tube with a human inside it.\n\n``What the shell!?'' Raph almost yelled in surprise, ``Raphie, you are up'' Mikey said surprised, ``good and just in time'' Leo said calmly, ``Don will you explain it to him?'' Leo asked calmly, ``sure Leo'' Don said while calmly walking over to Raph.\n\n``Easy Raph, breath and let me explain'' Don said a little concerned, Raph took some deep breaths trying to calm himself down.\n\n``We found your secret books, and we were shocked when we read them. Leo threw up and Mikey wouldn't stop shaking of fear and me, I passed out a couple of times. We decided to do something about it in order to stop it permanently, so we got to work fast, and came up with this plan. We are turning Splinter human and then we are going to kick him out top side, before we move to a new place. We chose not to tell you, because we didn't want to risk Splinter finding out before we were ready'' Don explained calmly and slowly, just to make sure that Raph heard every word.\n\n``You are turning him human and we are moving?'' Raph asked with a shaking voice, ``yes, Raph'' Don answered calmly, ``good, then he can handle Shedder on his own, instead of us doing it for him'' Raph said a bit firmly.\n\nRaph went over to the glass tube, and saw human Splinter inside it, ``you are done hurting me'' Raph said angrily while pointing at him, his brothers said nothing and just smiled at him.\n\n``You must be hungry, I'll go make you something'' Mikey said cheerfully before leaving the lab.\n\n``Where are we moving to?'' Raph asked curiously while looking at Leo, ``we will tell you when we are done with Splinter'' Leo said calmly, ``okay, I understand'' Raph said calmly, ``good'' Leo said smiling.\n\n......................................................\n\nHello pain book\n\nThis will be my last entry.\n\nMy brothers had found every pain book, and read all of them. That is why they did everything they could to stop the pain for me, forever. I'm so happy that they found them, even though it means they were snooping in my room, but I forgive them, this one time.\n\nMikey made me a cheese and chicken omelet, which tasted so good, man he can cook.\n\nDon turned Splinter into a young adult human, and we kicked him out, top side of course. I think he is going to be angry when he wakes up, but that is not our or my problem anymore.\n\nLeo said we are moving, just to be safe from Splinter. Which makes me happy and more at ease.\n\nI found out that they had already gotten the new place up and running. All that is left to do is move our private belongings. Man, I can't wait to move to the new place.\n\nMaybe this means that I can finally make my move on Don. I guess, I will just have to wait and see, but I hope it will be possible for me. Maybe he already knows that I love him, from reading my pain books? I hope that he does, because it will make it a little easier for me.\n\nI'm looking forward to our new lives together at the new place.\n\nGoodbye my book of pain.\n\nRaphael.\n\nThe end.\n\n", "writing_bbcode_parsed": "``Get up and clean up your mess, your brothers will be back soon'' Splinter said coldly before leaving the dojo, Raph got up and got the cleaning supplies, and got started with the cleaning of the entire dojo.

Raph was still cleaning up the blood, when his brothers came back, as soon as he heard them, he stopped crying, and hurried up with the last drop of blood on the doorframe.

Before he turned his face towards his brothers, he took the cloth and got it wet again, before he then put his face in it.

He didn't do that to hide his injuries, but to hide the tears, ``hey Raphie we are back'' Mikey almost sang, ``sounds good Mikey'' Raph said with a small smile, ``dude you over did it again, didn't you? Don is going to be mad at you again'' Mikey said teasingly, ``I know'' Raph sighted.

After putting the cleaning supplies back, and emptying the bucket of dirty water in the toilet, he then went to the infirmary to get treated by Don.

Raph tried his best to walk normally to the infirmary, but it hurt more than it usually did, and that scared him, because if his leg was broken, then it would mean that he would have to be more alone with Splinter. But after he had taken the beatings for years, he knew how to handle it even when he went top side with his brothers.

``Hi Don'' Raph said carefully while walking over to the examination table, Don didn't say anything he just looked annoyed at him. He got up on the table and laid down on his shell, and just tried to relax while Don got to work on him.

They didn't say one word to each other, while Don was working on him. Raph just laid there and as always, he had an internal talk with himself, about if he should take the chance and tell Don the truth or stay quiet as always.

He decided as always to keep quiet about the abuse, because he didn't want to put them in danger of Splinter. If Splinter started to hurt them, then there would be no way that he could ever forgive himself.

The scary scenarios in his head made him start to cry, but he held back the tears as always. ``There all done'' Don's words broke him out of it and back to reality, ``thanks Don'' he said while getting up and off the table, ``your leg is broken, so take it easy, understood'' Don said firmly, ``you really should stop this you know, it's not good for you'' Don said sternly, ``I know and I'll try'' he said and gave him a small smile.

Raph went to his room and closed and locked the door behind him, so he could be alone to cry, before going early to bed. He knew he would need to heal fast, so that he could take another beating soon.

He hated this, he hated being Splinter's punching bag, but he knew why he was doing it, he was doing it to spare his brothers from this pain.

Every time Splinter got mad or frustrated with just one of them, then he would take it out on Raph later, and Raph knew it, after all it had been happening ever since they were six years old.

Raph wrote everything down in his secret books, that not even Splinter knew about, and he made sure to hide the books well, so well that they wouldn't even just fall out of hiding by accident.

The next morning everything was still the same. All the beatings had blended together for Raph, and the same came to the days too.

When it came to holidays, he never had a gift for his brothers or Splinter, and why should he get anything, when the night before Splinter would destroy the gifts, so he had nothing to give them anyway. Therefor Raph had given up on the whole gift giving thing when he was eight.

Raph had written in his books, just how much it had hurt him, that he couldn't give his brothers a gift, and why it had hurt him.

Every kind of pain that Splinter had given him, had been written down in those books. Even the pain of not being able to enjoy a present, for more than a few hours, before Splinter would destroy his presents while telling him ``you don't deserve any presents, when you haven't given any yourself.''

Raph had learned that this was the way life was for him, and he had accepted it. But when it came to the beatings, he would scream of pain and cry, just to give Splinter the satisfaction of hurting him, but it was more to avoid Splinter going after one of his brothers.

......................................................

He was at home with a broken leg, while the others were over at April's place, they were helping her move some things around, and he had been grounded until his leg was healed. There was just one problem for him, Splinter was also home and in a bad mode, which was bad for him, because he couldn't out run Splinter.

Splinter came over to him and slapped him so hard, that he fell out of the chair, ``aww'' Raph cried, he knew better than to ask why or plead him to stop now. He stood over Raph now with his cane in the air, Raph caught the cane out in the corner of his eye, and he instinctively curled together waiting for the blow.

``sit up'' Splinter said in a threating voice, Raph did as told and kept his head down, ``hold your hands out with palms up'' Splinter almost growled at him, he did what Splinter wanted and fast, so the whole thing would be over with faster.

Hit after hit, he took them all no matter how much pain he was feeling, Raph cried and screamed until after Splinter was done. ``Go wash your hands'' Splinter said coldly and left.

Raph got up and went to the bathroom, once inside, he went to the sinks and tried to take a hold of the taps, but his hands hurt so bad, that he could barely move his fingers even a little.

He gave up and went to the infirmary and waited for Don to come back. By the time they came home, Raph's bruises on his hands were one big black and blue mark.

Don came into the infirmary and saw Raph sitting there crying silently, Raph looked up and saw Don standing there, ``you hit your leg again?'' Don said annoyed, ``no it is my hands, I can't move them at all'' Raph said sobbing.

He came over to Raph and saw his hands, Don's eyes became big when he saw the two giant bruises, ``what the shell did you do?'' Don said surprised mixed with concern, ``I don't know, I was asleep when it happened, the pain woke me up and then I went in here to wait for you'' Raph said sadly like he was about to cry again.

``Okay, well sit still and let me get the x-ray machine, so I can get a better look at your hands'' Don said calmly, ``okay'' Raph said softly.

Don came over with a metal table, ``put your hands on here and keep still'' Don said calmly, Raph did as told while trying not to cry.

After the x-ray was taken, Don put everything back in place, and went over to check the x-ray. Don's mouth fell open and quickly closed again, but his eyes stayed big with shock.

``Your hands are broken in several places. I will have to put a cast on them right now'' Don said worried, ``okay, then when will I be able to use my hands again?'' Raph asked nervously, ``you know it takes about three weeks for our bones to heal'' Don said calmly, ``right'' Raph said worried.

``Well looks like we can't leave you home alone, at least not until all of your injuries are healed'' Leo said firmly, ``I think you are right about that'' Raph sighted, ``good, then we are all staying home until you are all healed up, and ready to join us top side again'' Leo said calmly but firmly.

Don came over with everything he needed to put the casts on, and got started carefully with one hand at the time. Raph tried not to cry or scream, while Don was working on his hands. Don had to stretch the hands out in order to get the cast on properly.

Both Don and Leo noticed the pain in Raph every time, Don touched Raph's hands, but neither of them said anything about it.

When Don was finally done and the cast had hardened, Raph got down from the table and started to walk towards his room, while keeping his head down, but he made it look like he was watching where he was walking.

Raph noticed that Don said something to Leo, but he was to far away to hear what it was, and right now he didn't care.

He made it to his room, but the door was closed and he couldn't open it himself, he was about to turn and call for help, when Mikey showed up and opened the door for him, ``need anything else, bro?'' Mikey said giving a small smile, ``thanks Mikey. How about helping me get into my bed, and stay and read a little to me?'' Raph asked with a small smile, ``sure bro'' Mikey said happily.

Mikey helped Raph get over to his futon and down onto it, ``comfy?'' Mikey asked a little worried, ``yes, thank you'' Raph said smiling, ``what should I read to you?'' Mikey asked curiously, ``how about that book under my hammock'' Raph said smiling while pointing with his whole hand toward his hammock, ``you got it'' Mikey said while getting the book.

While Mikey was reading to Raph, Don came into the room and closed the door behind him, ``hey'' Don said smiling, ``hey Don'' Mikey said smiling back, ``Raph, I know you don't like medicine, but I have something to help you sleep'' Don said a little nervous.

``Thanks Don. I could use some of that right now'' Raph admitted with a small smile, Don came over to him and kneeled down next to him, then he took the needle and gave him the shot. Raph was fast asleep before Don was even finished giving the shot.

................................................

Raph woke up with a head that felt a little heavy, like it always did when he had been under for some time, and the missing cast on his hands and leg told him that it was true, he had been gone for some time, now he was mad at Don.

He got out of bed and went looking for Don, after he came out of his room, he heard his brothers inside Don's lab. Furiously he went over to the door and stopped, when he saw a big glass tube with a human inside it.

``What the shell!?'' Raph almost yelled in surprise, ``Raphie, you are up'' Mikey said surprised, ``good and just in time'' Leo said calmly, ``Don will you explain it to him?'' Leo asked calmly, ``sure Leo'' Don said while calmly walking over to Raph.

``Easy Raph, breath and let me explain'' Don said a little concerned, Raph took some deep breaths trying to calm himself down.

``We found your secret books, and we were shocked when we read them. Leo threw up and Mikey wouldn't stop shaking of fear and me, I passed out a couple of times. We decided to do something about it in order to stop it permanently, so we got to work fast, and came up with this plan. We are turning Splinter human and then we are going to kick him out top side, before we move to a new place. We chose not to tell you, because we didn't want to risk Splinter finding out before we were ready'' Don explained calmly and slowly, just to make sure that Raph heard every word.

``You are turning him human and we are moving?'' Raph asked with a shaking voice, ``yes, Raph'' Don answered calmly, ``good, then he can handle Shedder on his own, instead of us doing it for him'' Raph said a bit firmly.

Raph went over to the glass tube, and saw human Splinter inside it, ``you are done hurting me'' Raph said angrily while pointing at him, his brothers said nothing and just smiled at him.

``You must be hungry, I'll go make you something'' Mikey said cheerfully before leaving the lab.

``Where are we moving to?'' Raph asked curiously while looking at Leo, ``we will tell you when we are done with Splinter'' Leo said calmly, ``okay, I understand'' Raph said calmly, ``good'' Leo said smiling.

......................................................

Hello pain book

This will be my last entry.

My brothers had found every pain book, and read all of them. That is why they did everything they could to stop the pain for me, forever. I'm so happy that they found them, even though it means they were snooping in my room, but I forgive them, this one time.

Mikey made me a cheese and chicken omelet, which tasted so good, man he can cook.

Don turned Splinter into a young adult human, and we kicked him out, top side of course. I think he is going to be angry when he wakes up, but that is not our or my problem anymore.

Leo said we are moving, just to be safe from Splinter. Which makes me happy and more at ease.

I found out that they had already gotten the new place up and running. All that is left to do is move our private belongings. Man, I can't wait to move to the new place.

Maybe this means that I can finally make my move on Don. I guess, I will just have to wait and see, but I hope it will be possible for me. Maybe he already knows that I love him, from reading my pain books? I hope that he does, because it will make it a little easier for me.

I'm looking forward to our new lives together at the new place.

Goodbye my book of pain.

Raphael.

The end.

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