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I think I slept for a while after laying the last one, and at some point after waking up, curiosity set in about the number. I started lining them up into rows; it turned out there were 34. The boxes from Mr. Dude’s Duds could hold 12 each, so this was convenient: I had picked up four, so I had one box extra. Part of me said “One less to buy next time!” The rest of me said “Next time?” But of course, I still laid one every month or so at that time…so there was no way to truly get away from it.\n\nI put off packing them for shipment for almost a day. I felt I needed some recovery time after that. After all, I was in labor for almost seven hours! At least, I think that’s how long it was. A lot of details are blurry now.\n\nA few months after all this, an alligator friend of mine laughed at me when I was complaining about how many eggs were in that clutch. “Bro,” he told me. “I came from a clutch of 45! That wasn’t even my mom’s biggest ever! What a wuss.” I felt like petrifying him but sometimes he’s my ride to work. I know some reptiles have big clutches like that, but the whole thing was pretty new to me!\n\nI don’t know how I knew the last egg really was the last one. I just knew it, I felt it, I was relieved to accept that reality and I really needed to crash. At some point later I must have woken up and crawled off to coil up on the side of the room, but I don’t remember that. I just remember sitting up awake, realizing it was a new day, and seeing the big pile of eggs. Piles, actually: three different ones.\n\nThe badger seemed to have been desensitized somewhat to the whole egg thing after that. He hasn’t shied away or been skittish about the subject, since when I was putting the boxes in the mail he asked me when the next time was going to be. I told him I didn’t want to even think about it. “It’d just be one, like before, anyway,” I said. “This was just a fluke.”\n\n“Well, just keep this in mind,” he said. “I met this guy, he’s a Dodo. You’ve heard of them, right? He’s sort of an archeologist, paleontologist, or something; I know he collects eggs. Well, I was telling him about you…he might have a business proposition for you.”\n\nIt took a while to get back to him about that proposition, but that’s another story. The Dodo turned out to be a pretty sweet guy, and sometimes a mythological gynopotent guy’s gotta do what a mythological gynopotent guy’s gotta do, and why not make a nearly extinct bird happy, and on top of that make a little extra cash on the side for it?\n", "description_bbcode_parsed": "Artwork by Aubrin!

At the end of it all, I had lost count of how many there were.  I think I slept for a while after laying the last one, and at some point after waking up, curiosity set in about the number.  I started lining them up into rows; it turned out there were 34.  The boxes from Mr. Dude’s Duds could hold 12 each, so this was convenient:  I had picked up four, so I had one box extra.  Part of me said “One less to buy next time!”  The rest of me said “Next time?”  But of course, I still laid one every month or so at that time…so there was no way to truly get away from it.

I put off packing them for shipment for almost a day.  I felt I needed some recovery time after that.  After all, I was in labor for almost seven hours!  At least, I think that’s how long it was.  A lot of details are blurry now.

A few months after all this, an alligator friend of mine laughed at me when I was complaining about how many eggs were in that clutch.  “Bro,” he told me.  “I came from a clutch of 45!  That wasn’t even my mom’s biggest ever!  What a wuss.”  I felt like petrifying him but sometimes he’s my ride to work.  I know some reptiles have big clutches like that, but the whole thing was pretty new to me!

I don’t know how I knew the last egg really was the last one.  I just knew it, I felt it, I was relieved to accept that reality and I really needed to crash.  At some point later I must have woken up and crawled off to coil up on the side of the room, but I don’t remember that.  I just remember sitting up awake, realizing it was a new day, and seeing the big pile of eggs.  Piles, actually:  three different ones.

The badger seemed to have been desensitized somewhat to the whole egg thing after that.  He hasn’t shied away or been skittish about the subject, since when I was putting the boxes in the mail he asked me when the next time was going to be.  I told him I didn’t want to even think about it.  “It’d just be one, like before, anyway,” I said.  “This was just a fluke.”

“Well, just keep this in mind,” he said.  “I met this guy, he’s a Dodo.  You’ve heard of them, right?  He’s sort of an archeologist, paleontologist, or something; I know he collects eggs.  Well, I was telling him about you…he might have a business proposition for you.”

It took a while to get back to him about that proposition, but that’s another story.  The Dodo turned out to be a pretty sweet guy, and sometimes a mythological gynopotent guy’s gotta do what a mythological gynopotent guy’s gotta do, and why not make a nearly extinct bird happy, and on top of that make a little extra cash on the side for it?
", "writing": "", "writing_bbcode_parsed": "", "pools_count": 1, "title": "Eggs Overdone 5", "deleted": "f", "public": "t", "mimetype": "image/jpeg", "pagecount": "1", "rating_id": "2", "rating_name": "Adult", "ratings": [ { "content_tag_id": "4", "name": "Sexual Themes", "description": "Erotic imagery, sexual activity or arousal", "rating_id": "2" } ], "submission_type_id": "1", "type_name": "Picture/Pinup", "guest_block": "t", "friends_only": "f", "comments_count": "2", "views": "108" }