What does it say on your ID? Gender, age, name, location, et cetera.
-Cayen Georgette Aleva, 22. It says I'm female but that's pretty much only because there's no gender marker for me. I live in Rainside, on the east side.

Gender marker?
-Yeah, I'm genderqueer.

Oh, uh... well, then, skipping ahead, what's your relationship with your gender?
-Weird. Like, I kind of feel outside gender in a way, but not in an agender way. It's... hard to explain.

Interesting. How does that manifest?
-As a spectre floating in the night that-- sorry. That's always what comes to mind when I hear 'manifest'. Well, I have the Queer Haircut, long on one side, short on the other, and I kind of don't care which side of the department store I shop in? I dunno. There's a lot of nuanced stuff that goes into it and not a lot of it is easy or even possible to put into words. I think a lot of people would just look at and go, oh, you're just a slightly androgynous femmy girl, but... eh. I know who I am.

Well, to that end, describe yourself.
-As a spectre floating in the okay that joke was bad the first time. My hair's orange, my fur's darker orange. Uh, should probably start with, I'm a cat anthro. Blue eyes, ah, short, like, really short, fairly athletically built, like, pretty great legs and arms and stuff. Acrobat, not bodybuilder.

How about clothing?
-snrk- Why, Mr. Interviewer, the way you phrase that is supposed to be, 'So what are you wearing', in this totally obvious faux-nonchalance.

I-- I'm not flirting with you! Also I'm as nonbinary as you are.
—Oh. Sorry. Yeah, I shouldn't have assumed that.

'Saright.
-...Anyway, most of the time I'm in my work uniform. Black blouse, black skirt or slacks, black Mary Jane shoes. If I'm not in that, I tend to be in solid colours, sometimes stripes. Bright stuff, you know? Rainbow colours.

Where do you work?
-Oh come on, you don't want to know what's under the skirt?

I write you, I know what's under the skirt.
-Yeah, but you haven't made me say it yet.

Fine. What's under the skirt.
-Nothing! No, that's not true. I have too many cute panties to go bare. Most of the time.

Of course. Now answer the question.
-I'm the owner and proprietor of Gong Fu Teahouse. My apartment's above the shop. Sort of.

Sort of?
-Well, I'm next door to The Eightfold Path, right. The curry bar. Her apartment's above my shop and my apartment's above her restaurant. I don't know why it's like that but it's just a weird quirk of the layout.

Ah. Well, what's it like working there?
-However I feel like, since what I say goes, pretty much. Seriously, though, it's pretty chill. I make enough to be comfortable and I don't feel the need to ride my employees' asses to make more money this month than last month or anything. Everyone gets by with room to spare and that's how I prefer it.

So you're a good boss, you think?
-I don't yell at people, I pay above minimum wage, and I'm pretty much open to if someone needs a day off for whatever reason. Head cold, death of a pet, can't get out of bed, whatever. Including if there's a midnight showing of something. I mean, I'm right here. I can always open or close the store if someone calls in, and then there's Montjoly -- sorry, my brother -- I can always rope into a shift when necessary.

You have a brother? Actually, here. Describe your family.
-Yeah, Montjoly's my little brother. Dad left when I was a kid. Mom died when I was, I dunno, sixteen or so?

I'm sorry.
-Eh. Long time ago.

So what happened after that?
-Montjoly and I kind of made it on our own. We had an inheritance and stuff. He went to work as a dishwasher at a restaurant and I got a job at another tea shop. We, like, we missed her, but we weren't ever in danger of being on the street or anything. We lived in an apartment until I used that inheritance to start Gong Fu. Montjoly's still in that apartment.

You sound close.
-We are close. Like if we didn't look so similar people would think we were boyfriend and girlfriend. Datefriend. Whatever the term is.

What's he like?
-He's an arrogant, pompous blowhard and I love him. He's gender-nonconforming, too -- he might be femmier than I am but he still identifies as a guy.

I can tell you what he's wearing if you like.

No, I'm good.
-You suuure?

Don't make me force you to recite the dictionary.
-You can't force me to re·cite /rəˈsīt/ v. repeat aloud or declaim (a poem or passage) from memory before an audieOKAY, I GET YOUR POINT.

Moving on. Are you introverted or extroverted?
-I'm pretty sociable. I mean, you have to be, seeing so many people, knowing the regular customers' orders, dealing with employees and stuff.

What's your apartment like? Messy, organized, sparse, lavish...
-It's like the shop, kind of, black and white. There's three rooms -- the front room has the futon and computer and TV and stuff, there's a kitchen and a bathroom. This -- well, this is telling, maybe, but there's no dining room table. I try to keep it clean, but like, it's never perfect. Usually there's a stray dish or whatever.

Oh, and the closet. Very important.

What's important about the closet?
-It's where I keep all my most valuable possessions. And it's big. Like, big enough to sleep in.

You sound like you have before.
-I value myself very highly.

I see.
-I'm a claustrophile. I love getting into confined spaces. So half the closet space is set aside as a little nook. It's like four-by-six, cushioned, with a curtain? So plenty of room for me.

Why do you need a curtain when you can just close the door?
-Keeps the light out, it's a sliding door and it lets in a lot of light. I like the dark, too. It's like a sensory deprivation chamber, just, blackness, quiet, the way the air gets all hot and close when you've been breathing in a confined space for a while. It's very soothing.

Right.
-Hey, I don't judge your sensory needs.

I'm not judging.
-Uh-huh.

Does that mean your most dominant sense is your eyesight?
-It depends on what you mean by dominant, like... my sense of smell is the most difficult to ignore, for example, and hearing behind that. My vision's pretty important, but so is my sense of touch, it's pretty sensitive too. And I'm a supertaster. I'm kind of concentrated.

I can see that.
-I will say, though, that a lot of senses route through vision. I'm synaesthetic -- sounds, sensations, and tastes are colours. So I can describe a tea as blue, or a note as yellow, or call what I'm feeling green pain, and that means something specific to me that I don't have another word for. So in one sense vision's the Grand Central Station of my senses.

So here's a line of questioning you'll probably enjoy. What's your sexuality?
-You wanna narrow that down?

Start with your orientation.
-I'm pan.

Why pan and not bi?
-I dunno, a lot of bi activists talk about it not being like, oh, it's not just two genders, it's your gender and other genders! But it's not an association I can shake. That and, like, being genderqueer, I kind of think my gender is too custom to have 'same gender' relationships? Even another genderqueer person is gonna cobble together different parts of gender and invent other parts and have something that looks different from me. Short version, bisexuality seems too restrictive for how I feel. I kind of think of pan as being almost like, every body is attractive, you just have to find out how.

Are you monogamous?
-Lord no. I'm happily poly. I have a main relationship and a bunch of sattelite ones in this big tangled mess. It's great.

Who are your lovers?
-Oh, shit, uh, I wasn't expecting to list them. Uh, well, there's Chloé, of course, she's my pet -- well, I'll wait for the D/s question to get into that -- and Glire. There's a bunch of others, though, some I've only played with a bit.

What's your view on kink?
-Let me put it this way. I designed my living space such that it has holes regularly spaced in the walls where you can screw anchor points for suspending someone. I'm kind of a fan.

What are you into?
-What aren't I into. No, but, bondage might be the biggest one. Just total immobilization however. Rope, cuffs, vac beds, straitjackets. Rough body play sometimes. Spankings. Forced orgasms. I, ah, quite like being embarrassed.

It sounds like that can be difficult to pull off. You rattled off all those kinks without breaking a sweat.
-That's not what embarrasses me.

So what embarrasses you?
-Other kinks I have.

Such as?
-Are you really gonna make me say it?

Wouldn't that be enjoyable?
-Not universally, like anything. I don't care how much you like a kink, it would feel terrible to have someone try to push that button out of nowhere. That's a total consent violation. Fuck that noise. But... since it's you, and you are kinda me... fuck. Touché.

So. What, specifically, embarrasses you? Be detailed.
-I have a thing for, um... well, for feet. Mine are super sensitive, and I like playing with other people's. It's always been kind of a strange thing to me.

What about the other part?
-What other part?

Cayen, I'm the author, I know the other part.
-...Fuck.

How sensitive is your nose?
-...Pretty sensitive.

And does that factor into your kink at all?
-...Yes.

In what way?
-I like... I like my olfactory senses to be stimulated during scenes.

By what?
-...God, you're really gonna make me say it.

I most certainly am.
-...I like the scent of bodies. Not... not, like, super strong or anything, just, like... people. As they are. No perfumes or colognes or heavily-scented soaps, just... them. The scent that makes them them.

Does this embarrass you?
-Heavily.

And does that link up with your foot fetish?
-...

I can wait all day.
-...Yes.

That wasn't so hard, was it.
-It was fucking difficult and you know it. I'm super into having secrets pried from me, too, and I'm sure you know that.

Yes.
-Well, the rest of this interview's gonna be done with me squirming, so I hope you're happy.

Yep!
-Ask your questions.

:3
-...:3

How does your body work, sexually?
-I'm rather sensitive, to anything. So I can't take a lot of punishment in the way other people can, it's too intense. I can, however, take a /ton/ of pleasure, and I'm reliably orgasmic through penetration, in addition to being reliably multi-orgasmic. Every orgasm has its own colour. It's neat. Uhm, what else. Oh, I have a friable cervix. You can't pound it without it bleeding a bit. Uh... my ears are sensitive, and I have the cat button at the base of my tail. Underneath /and/ overtop, and they feel totally different.

Do you like your body?
-Love it. It's been a good home for me.

Oh hey, you forgot to mention stuff like cup size above.
-28B. ...I can take seven inches of depth, if you wanted to know that.

How's your sex drive?
-High. Like... I can have a ton of orgasms one day and a ton the next without a problem, and I usually have at least one a day.

By what method do you like to get yourself off?
-Oh, jees, that's sometimes very contextual. I like vibes. I like insertables. I like rubbing against stuff. It all depends on what my body's telling me.

How about with partners?
-I really like methods of sex that aren't simultaneous, like, I get to focus totally on my pleasure and then I get to focus totally on theirs. So like, oral, fingering, using a toy on me, stuff like that. That's all great.

How do you like to get your partners off? If you have a preference.
-It's usually up to them, but, if I had my druthers? I /love/ oral. I kind of have an oral fixation. So I might suck on someone's fingers while I'm playing with them, or eat them out, or suck their cock. I'm a huge fan of cocksucking. My mouth's pretty sensitive too.

Is there any part of you that isn't sensitive?
-Haven't found one yet. Maybe a few spots on my back, but those are just less sensitive than the parts that make me all shivery-squirmy.

So what are your vices? Besides the screamingly high sex drive.
-I'll have you know I may be loud but I can reel it in when I want to. It's a variable-volume high sex drive. ...Anyway. There's catnip.

Catnip.
-I'm a cat, what. Cats get fucking high on catnip.

What's that like?
-Roughly analogous to some weird stimulant version of pot. Like... I get all buzzy and my body gets even /more/ sensitive, and euphoric, and I can be pretty amourous.

Sounds fun.
-Super fun. Oh, right, I have a thing you should put in. Ask me about cat traits.

Cat traits? Like, what ones you have as an anthro?
-Yeah.

So asked.
-So, I said I have the cat button. I can purr. Pet me and I'll melt into your lap. Sometimes all I want to do is flop over and roll around and be cute. Aaaand, I have the nerve thing at the back of my neck.

Nerve thing?
-Okay, so. Cats have a bundle of nerves at the back of their neck that is a holdover from when they are kittens. If you pinch the area, like, when your mother picks you up in your teeth and carries you around, it kind of puts you into a dormant kind of state. It's hard to explain. Paralysis without numbness. Your body just doesn't want to work.

You said 'without numbness'. So you can feel everything?
-Yup!

You also said you were into immobilization.
-I did.

Do those two ideas link up?
-They do! A lot of the time I don't actually have anyone do anything strenuous while I'm under like that, because it's super calming, but yeah, I play around with that some. Like, you just get this sense of peace and security and you can be flopped on top of someone and they're petting you... it's amazing.

That sounds like the kinky version of romantic.
-No, that sounds like it's romantic full stop. I don't draw a line and separate experiences into 'kinky' and 'vanilla' or whatever, it's not useful to me. Like, think about this. Dom asks sub questions. Sub gets it wrong, the dom punishes the sub with stuff. Maybe making the sub deal with some sort of viscera or something else disgusting. Maybe making the sub eat some regional delicacy that takes some getting used to. Maybe something as simple as having them run on a treadmill and making it speed up for every question wrong. Totally kinky, right?

Right.
-Yeah, I would think so too, except, all three of those were on Dirty Jobs, and the dom was Mike Rowe. Vanilla people do these power games all the time, they just don't call it kink.

Alright, I think this is a good place to stop. Unless you want to talk about anything else.
-Nah, I'm good. I'm sure my personality has shone through in this interview.

Okay! Well, thanks for doing the interview.
-Contractual obligation, but, still, it was fun!