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"https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/large/1101/1101180_Gildedtongue_4176079.jpg", "submission_right_thumbnail_url_medium": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/medium/1101/1101180_Gildedtongue_4176079.jpg", "submission_right_thumb_huge_x": "50", "submission_right_thumb_huge_y": "50", "submission_right_thumb_large_x": "50", "submission_right_thumb_large_y": "50", "submission_right_thumb_medium_x": "50", "submission_right_thumb_medium_y": "50" } ], "description": "[i]Originally Submitted to FurAffinity.net on July 17th, 2010 07:31 PM. Before it was transferred to Inkbunny it had 48 views and 1 favorites.[/i]\n\nAnd the second part of this originally three part saga.\n\nWhat got to me on this one was simply the amount of dialogue in this. Now, don't get me wrong, I love dialogue. I absolutely adore dialogue. But, it doesn't make for an interesting story not describing rooms and actions and thoughts and all that.\n\nAlso, things get darker, because at that age I figured everything had to. Ah well.\n\nApollo 9 and all the characters belong to fa!longtail4711 go read her comics at http:/www.longtail.us", "description_bbcode_parsed": "Originally Submitted to FurAffinity.net on July 17th, 2010 07:31 PM. Before it was transferred to Inkbunny it had 48 views and 1 favorites.

And the second part of this originally three part saga.

What got to me on this one was simply the amount of dialogue in this. Now, don't get me wrong, I love dialogue. I absolutely adore dialogue. But, it doesn't make for an interesting story not describing rooms and actions and thoughts and all that.

Also, things get darker, because at that age I figured everything had to. Ah well.

Apollo 9 and all the characters belong to \n\t\t\t\t\tlongtail4711 go read her comics at http:/www.longtail.us", "writing": "Every Rose Has Its Thorns\n\nBy Robert Adrian\n\n“P.J., mind if we talk?” Syzgy asked hir commander as they passed each other in the hallways of the Apollo 9’s upper deck. The chakat had a stern look to hir that the wolf knew meant that the conversation won’t be about what movie shi should rent off of the Internet.\n\n“Well, I don’t suppose it would be a big deal Syz. What’s on your mind?” P.J. asked, crossing his arms in front of his chest, leaning against the painted steel walls, rump perched on the hand railing with his tail curved to the right.\n\n“Captain, I’m sure you remember the events dealing with the Meliconial transport ship a month or so back, right?” Syz asked, looking left and right rapidly, checking that there wasn’t anyone going to walk by.\n\n“Yeah, hard to forget such a thing.” P.J. smirked a little, “What, are you getting homosexual dreams now?”\n\n“For your information, I’m already in a homosexual relationship, Both Sunny and myself are herms, and we do kiss when not on duty.”\n\n“Touché. Anyhoo, seriously, what’s up?”\n\n“You remember that night where we tried to stop the dreams and all? I thought of an image, and then you had the same one, right?” Syz asked, her right forepaw fidgeting nervously.\n\n“Yeah, was a rather interesting and vivid memory of our fine commander wearing something, well, not very regimental. Any reason you want to bring that up again? That might put me into deep therapy, and it would be all your fault.”\n\n“Look, I’m no telepath, I can’t just send images to others.”\n\n“Well, you’re an empath, right?”\n\n“That only lets me have an attunement and a mild projection of emotions, not exactly ideas or images, or words, or whatever.”\n\n“Well, anyway, what about it?” P.J. asked, a little impatient, wondering where this conversation was going.\n\n“Well, look, I got to push an image into your brain, right? And then you gleened the fact that that was what I was thinking.” The chakat said, hir tail tip flicking rapidly.\n\n“Coincidence?”\n\n“The easiest solution, but I suppose curiosity is starting to sink in this little feline brain.”\n\n“So, what, we’re both psychic now or something? I mean, what number am I thinking of?” P.J. asked, grinning smugly.\n\n“Sixty-nine, sir, but that isn’t me being psychic. No, I don’t think we’ve really permanently gained these sort of AMAs.”\n\n“Erm, I think it’s been awhile since the last time I read Time, but, AMAs?” P.J. asked, scratching the back of his head as he looked at his third-in-command.\n\n“Advanced Mental Abilities. Telepathy, Empathy, Telekinesis, Suggestion, also called ‘Power Word’ or the ‘Voice’ pending on what geek you talk to, Clairvoyance, and Precognition. You know, the whole mysticism thing.”\n\n“Right, so, we had some sort of short time of having an AMA that we didn’t have before. And how did this come about?” P.J. asked, cocking an eyebrow. His own curiosity peeked.\n\n“Well, scientifically we’d probably go through months and months of experimentation and such.”\n\nP.J. made a sour face, “That doesn’t sound like much fun.”\n\n“I wasn’t too keen on it either. So, a simple case of deduction would state that when this occurred was when we were tethered to the Tantive.” Syz said, leaning against the railing next to Captain MacLupus.\n\n“So, you’re saying that something from that merchant vessel--”\n\n“Could possibly be used to expedite AMA affinity, yes.”\n\nP.J. hmmmed a little, shrugging, “Well, what would do such a thing?”\n\n“Well, a Gladston Psiamp could do it from that distance, however, there would be records of it onboard, and Zooey would have probably noticed it and been chatting all day about it.”\n\nP.J. hmmed a little. The psiamps are machines made by Dr. Gladston, a Skunk’taur who used various alien technologies to let psychics use their talents on a larger and broader scope, which is why they are very highly regulated. A conditioned telekinetic with a well maintained psyamp could pull apart a space ship in a matter of minutes. The wolf frowned a little, “So, what do you suspect?”\n\n“Simple, what is the only factor in the equation?” the counselor asked rhetorically, “The Meliconial roses.”\n\n“Wait, wait, you’re saying that those roses have psychic enhancers?”\n\n“I’m not sure, but I wouldn’t mind testing it to find out. Do you still have the cologne and the roses?”\n\n“Yeah, they’re back in my room, haven’t used any yet.” P.J. said, a little hesitantly. These sort of things were rather expensive off world.\n\n“Don’t worry, captain, I’ll replace them if it doesn’t work out.” Shi grinned, sensing his reluctance to part with his aphrodisiacs. Shi gave a smart salute and headed down the corridor, leaving P.J. alone.\n\n“Wait! What if it does work out?”\n\n-+-+-\n\nP.J., Dr. Sunstreak, and Dr. Syzgy all stood in the empty medical bay. On a cart in front of them is the glass bottle of cologne, and the twelve, freeze dried roses. “Alright, the experiment is simple. P.J. you spritz Syz with a bit of your perfume—“\n\n“Cologne.”\n\n“Whatever, on my mate, erm, Syz’s cheek, and then Syz will try to gleen whatever I’m thinking of.” Sunny said, smiling.\n\n“A yellow sun with a smily face on it.” Syz said without a beat after that.\n\n“No, it isn’t, Syz.” Sunny said with a pouty face, then sighed, “Alright, fine, you ruined it. Then think of whatever P.J.’s thinking. And I’ll take notes.” The two experimentees nodded to each other as P.J. picked up the bottle. Making sure the atomizer is pointed at Syz and pressed twice on the top, misting hir fur gently. Sunny smiled, “Alright, Syz, what’s P.J. thinking of right now?”\n\nThe chakat stood still for a minute, then grinned heavily, turning to hir mate as shi nearly pounced hir, kissing hir lips and cheeks furiously, pawing at hir. “Ack! Syz! No, wait!” Sunny called, then inhaled deeply, obviously smelling what was on Syz as shi started to return the attention tenfold, “Mmm, yes, God, yes, Syz!”\n\nP.J. was slowly backing toward the door at this time, blushing furiously as he watched the two, “Ummm, I think I’ll come back later.” The sound of fabric being torn was heard from the ball of the two chakats. P.J. did an about face and quickly ran for the door, “MUCH later!”\n\n-+-+-\n\nRoz saw Updike in the middle of the mess hall. The gerbil was cradling a datapad and a cup of coffee. The hamster padded her way over to him, humming softly, “Well, afternoon there, Monty, how are ya this fine day?”\n\nThough she couldn’t see his eyes, the feeling that they were narrowing into an angry glare was unmistakable, “Firstly, ma’am, I’m commander Montgomery Updike, and I rather you refer to me as such.” He set down the coffee and slid the datapad across the table to the hamster ringleader, “and secondly, there is no report for any surveys done in the last month!”\n\n“Well now, sugar, we never made planetfall this month either. And it’s a might difficult to do these sorts of things when we don’t go near the places we should, isn’t that right?”\n\n“It’s Commander Updike, and what do you mean? We had you and your men make the rounds over that floating brothel of a transport ship!” Roz made it a point in her head that if she ever did land this cute guy, that she’d switch him to decaf post haste.\n\n“The survey we’re issuing out is asking civilians under the jurisdiction of the government how they feel about the government, more or less. So we only ask those that are citizens of the United Planets.”\n\n“So what are you getting at?”\n\n“Hon, you’re going to have to realize that your government doesn’t hold power over everyone in space. Those were all born and bred Meliconites. Of a star system that is not a member of the United Planets. It would be like asking people in Phoenix what they thought people in, I dunno, Paris how their government was run.”\n\n“Hmmm, I guess you’d be right there.” Monty muttered as he picked up his cup of coffee again and nursed another sip.\n\n-+-+-\n\nP.J. opened up the door to the medical bay when he heard a lot less noise going on in there. “Syz, Sunny? Erm, if you’re, ahhh, done now, maybe we should wait until later to continue the… OH MY GOD!” he yelped, running back to the hallway again, going crimson as his heart pounded in his chest, “I didn’t think ‘taurs could bend that way!”\n\n-+-+-\n\nZooey sang to hirself as she cleaned and polished the Apollo 9’s engine room. All systems were green so there really wasn’t anything else to do on hir shift, and shi had a lot on hir mind shi’d rather not think about.\n\n“Sergeant Perkins, the song isn’t as perky as it usually is when you do this sort of thing.” The Apollo A.I. observed, the many cameras watching hir as shi worked. “Something wrong?”\n\n“Oh, I’m fine, Apollo. Just thinking about stuff.” The bat said as shi ran hir fingers along a guardrail.\n\n“What sort of stuff?” The metallic voice asked from the speakers in the ceiling.\n\nZooey flew up and perched hirself upside down near one of the speaker/microphones, having a ‘quiet talk’ with the A.I. “Well, just that, I dunno. You remember that transport vessel we went on 34 Earth cycles ago? I didn’t really notice it at first but.”\n\n“Was there something wrong with it?”\n\n“Well, there were a lot of old cyrotubes along the rooms on the exterior of the ship. I’m guessing that they’re just old relics since the ship’s FTL engines still are operational, but…”\n\n“Well, they could also be used to transport their merchandise. Living things don’t tend to last long outside of their natural environment.” The bodiless voice stated matter of factly. There was a hint of pride in mentioning his immortality.\n\n“I’d agree with you on that, except that there were plenty of hydroponics labs along the interior of the ship. Also, tubes like that are usually kept in the interior decks of a ship where regulation and damage is least likely. To have them on the outer decks is simply, you know, weird.” Shi sighed and climbed down the infrastructure to the floor, “I’m going to take a walk, Apollo. If Updike asks where I am, just tell him I’m in the bathroom.”\n\n-+-+-\n\nP.J. sighed, sitting down next to the door of the medical bay. He knew that chakats had stamina, but good Lord, it’s been at least three hours since Syz jumped Sunny. For the letch he is, he certainly felt perverted standing, or sitting, out here.\n\nThe blonde haired bat came waltzing down the hallway. Seeing the captain shi stopped and greeted him, “Hey there, Capt! How are things?” shi asked in hir usual, overly cheery tone.\n\n“Hey, Zooey. Erm, Could you look in the window there and tell me if Syz and Sunny are, erm, decent?”\n\nShi nodded, “Sure thing!” the bat got on hir tip toes to peek into the view window and nodded, “Sunny’s just writing on a datapad and Syz is talking with hir. Is there something the matter?”\n\n“No, no, thank you, Zooey.” P.J. stood up and dusted off his rump, walking into the medical bay once more. Syz was wearing one of the medical uniforms that were in the bay, and P.J. could swear that Sunny’s stripes were a little frazzled. “That was certainly interesting.” The wolf said, blushing a bit at the scent in the room.\n\n“Ah, yes, Captain. I think that the Meliconial roses are definitely very, very potent aphrodisiacs, yes.” Syz said, blushing beet red, exchanging nervous glances at Sunny.\n\n“However,” the other chakat spoke, “any readings on new AMA abilities are strictly inconclusive.” P.J. nodded, looking at the floor.\n\nZooey, being the curious bat shi is, wondered what they were doing in there and walked into the medical bay as well. Shi saw the chakats and the wolf talk about Advanced Mental Abilities, but really wasn’t too interested. Shi spied the bottle of cologne on a cart near them. Picking it up shi grinned and gave hirself two squeezes, one under each cheek.\n\n“Zooey! Wait, no!” Sunny said as the three of them nearly leapt away, holding their noses, trying not to inhale.\n\n“Hmmm, whoever bought this stuff likes really crappy scents.” The bat said, putting the bottle down, “Smells like a week old rump roast.” Shi giggled, starting to walk toward the three.\n\n“Don’t Zooey! Don’t come any closer!” P.J. ordered, wary of the now spiked bat, and worried what the three of them would do if shi got too close, ‘Though, I’m not even sure how that would work.’\n\n“How what would work?” Zooey asked, cocking hir head a little, feeling scared and very left out from the crew.\n\n“Err, Zooey, are you experiencing any sort of, you know, sexual attraction to any of us?” Sunny asked, picking up hir datapad slowly. ‘Though I’m not sure which one of us shi’d like anyway.’\n\n“Sexual attraction? Nope, no more so than usual, which is none!” shi giggled, “And I like all of you guys, Sunny. You’re all my best friends!”\n\nSunny, Syz and P.J. all exchanged glances, and then smiled slowly. Syz cleared hir throat, “Zooey, hon, could you repeat what I’m saying?” The bat giggled and nodded.\n\n“Zooey, hon, could you repeat what I’m saying?” the bat repeated, then started to talk as Syz remained quiet. “Need to do the laundry later and get another shirt since I ruined this one. Sunny is definitely the cutest chakat around and the little squeal shi does when hir tail is tickled is the sweetest thing.”\n\n“Syzygy!” Sunny eeped, hir orange fur going deep red.\n\n“Louie Louie, oh whoa, me gotta go now, yeah yeah yeah yeah.” Zooey continued, looking up at the ceiling and counting tiles.\n\n“Stop, Zooey, okay, we think we found the Telepathic AMA thing.” P.J. said, sitting down.\n\nZooey blinked a bit, “Oh, you mean this thing?” Shi asked, looking at the bottle of cologne. The bottle rose slowly and whisked itself into Zooey’s paw, which caused the bat to giggle, “Hey, that’s neat! How’d they make it do that? Maybe some sort of brain wave activated antigrav device?” The chakats gasped in amazement and jotted down more notes. Zooey was used to people writing in things when they were around hir, especially considering hir cybernetic implants, shi’s been under intense scrutiny before, and it has stopped fazing hir. P.J. walked over to Zooey, placing a paw on hir shoulder, still holding his breath.\n\n“Zooey, I think you might have just uncovered the secret to this whole thing.”\n\n-+-+-\n\nAn officers’ meeting was held inside the bridge of the Apollo 9. P.J., Updike, Cirini, Sunny, Syz, and Zooey stood on the lower level of the bridge facing each other.\n\n“Sir! I’d like to remind you that this is a meeting for officers, and Sergeant Perkins here is merely an enlisted personnel!” Updike bellowed in his usual high-strung manner. The tip of his long tail was flicking like mad.\n\n“Commander Updike, cool it. Zooey is a big part of this whole thing.” P.J. said, walking to the centre of the circle, pacing a little. “I’d say that there is a big threat to the Earth and all planets that we’ve discovered. Something that could be absolutely devastating if not checked out. And the source of it all is on Melicon IV.”\n\n“Hah! I knew it! Permission to speak freely, sir, but I always knew that someday you’d realize that those sexual deviants and perverts there is a threat to our American culture.”\n\n“Updike, permission denied. It has nothing to do with what they do on the outside. But rather, what they’re planning on the inside. Apollo, playback what went on in the medical bay today.” P.J. said, looking at the main screen.\n\n“Complying.”\n\n“Oh, God, yes Syz, right…”\n\n“ACK! Later, later! Fast forward!” P.J. yelped. All the present crewmen aside from Zooey were flushed with embarrassment.\n\n“Sorry, Captain MacLupus.” Apollo said.\n\n“Doing that sort of thing on duty is a disgrace to the uniform you wear!”\n\n“They weren’t in uniform then.” Zooey said plainly making an accurate observation.\n\n“It doesn’t matter! They were on duty! And I could have them court marshaled for such a thing. I’ll have your career for this!”\n\nP.J. snapped his jaws close at Updike’s face, “Updike, when I say ‘cool it’ you are going to keep that mouth shut unless I ask you to do otherwise. Unless you want to be in charge of cleaning all the latrines on this ship for the rest of our mission, get it? Got it, good.” He sighed a little, “It wasn’t their fault. We were experimenting with the Meliconial rose products we received from the Tantive IV. Apollo, play back what when on the medical bay after Zooey Perkins entered the bay.”\n\nThe crew watched the playback. From Zooey answering unasked questions to hir levitating objects to hir and around hir. Lifting the cart and even one of the medical beds. “That should be enough, Apollo, thank you.” P.J. said, looking over at his crew, then at the fidgeting gerbil.\n\n“Alright, Updike, you have something on your mind, what is it?”\n\n“Well, I’m not sure I believe all that stuff. I mean, shi could have just guessed what you were thinking.”\n\n“And the levitation?”\n\n“Just a camera trick.”\n\n“I’ll assure you, Commander Updike, my cameras cannot be tampered with.” Apollo said to the gerbil, feeling insulted.\n\n“It’s alright, I was expecting this. Everyone but Zooey, please put on your gas masks.” Everyone did what they were ordered. Zooey blushed at being the centre of attention. The wolf picked up the half full bottle of AMA enhancer. He gave hir three spritz of the stuff. “Okay, Updike, think of a number between, well, negative infinity and positive infinity.”\n\nZooey closed hir eyes, “Fifty, Seventeen seventy six, Pi, a million, a bajillion, is that even a number? Fourteen ninety-two. Commander Updike sir, could you please pick only one number?”\n\n‘My, it works!’\n\n‘Shi can read minds now?’\n\n‘That means that ship could have…’\n\n‘What’s for dinner tonight?’\n\n‘I didn’t know ‘taurs could bend like that.’\n\n‘I’ll take hir hindlegs and snap them like wishbones for what they did!’\n\n‘I’ll make a noose out of his own tail.’\n\n‘I wonder how to go to Melicon IV.’\n\n‘You know, Zooey is a little cute.’\n\n‘Does the captain know about me?’\n\nZooey’s heart pounded hard as shi spun around. Hir ears flattened against hir head as shi slowly started to hyperventilate. “Shhh, shut up! Please shut up!”\n\n‘What’s wrong?’\n\n‘No one’s saying anything.’\n\n‘Why is shi flipping out.’\n\n‘That isn’t like hir.’\n\nZooey collapsed on the ground, sobbing and repeating over and over for quiet, twitching hir legs. Hir hands clutching hir large ears and pulling them hard against her cheeks, her tiny claws ripping into the skin as shi continues to cry and convulse in the panic. P.J. nodded to Syz as the chakat picked hir up. “You know the rest of what I’m going to say, get hir out of here.”\n\nThe chakat took the whimpering bat out of the bridge, trying to calm hir down as shi continued to flail. P.J. sighed softly, “I’m sorry Zooey, that I did that.” He said to himself. He closed his eyes for a moment, collecting his thoughts, and then went back to addressing his crew. “From what we’ve discovered, the roses heighten both telepathic and telekinetic abilities in non-able morphs. This is usually unnoticed, or canceled by its labido increasing properties.”\n\n“So, what brought this up, Captain?” Cirini asked, still very confused about the whole thing.\n\n“Well, when I flipped out last month, Dr. Syzgy did some dream therapy experiments on me, and we found that we both connected on a mildly telepathic scale.”\n\n“Did you have the roses then?”\n\n“No, but we were docked with the Tantive IV.” P.J. hmmed softly, “Apollo, when we were docked with the Tantive IV was there any exchange of ship atmospheres?”\n\n“Of course, Captain. When one opens airlocks with another ship, there’s bound to be exchange and dissipation to a homogenous state.”\n\n“And that would include pheromones in the air.”\n\n“Of course.”\n\n“Apollo, could you somehow find what was in our air on the night that Syz did that dream therapy experiment?”\n\n“There’s a record of all particles going through the air purification system. Just a moment and I’ll look it up.”\n\nSyz walked back into the bridge, a little downhearted, but mostly unfazed. “How’s shi doing?” P.J. asked, waiting for Apollo’s answer.\n\n“Oh, mostly fine, I suppose. Back at the school I worked at there was a skunk’taur that couldn’t control hys telepathy either. Same hysterical fits and all. Shi’s wearing some headphones playing some classical music. It worked for hym.”\n\nP.J. nodded, “Well, Shi obviously has the rest of hir shift off to recuperate. Apollo, have you found the data?”\n\n“Yes, Captain. I’m assuming that you are most concerned with that strand of carbon molecule in the air. There were 0.0000042597% of all the air in your cabin that contained Meliconial rose pheromones.”\n\nSyz nodded a little, “That means that there wasn’t enough to get either of us aroused.”\n\nP.J. nodded, “And because you were so close to me when you thought of it.”\n\nUpdike blinked, “Thought of what, exactly?”\n\nSyz smiled and nodded, “Right, the brain waves were closer together and the image I thought of transferred easier!”\n\n“What image?”\n\n“And Zooey had a full blast of this stuff.”\n\n“But shi doesn’t really have a sex drive so…”\n\n“What did you think of!”\n\n“It went all into an AMA!”\n\n“Right!”\n\nUpdike sighed, flustered at the conversation that he wasn’t a part of. Cirini and Sunny crept out of the conversation, starting to talk to each other about what was being served in the mess tonight.\n\n“So, someone without a sex drive can use a lot of the roses and get the full benefit.”\n\n“Right!” Syz purred, glad that this mystery was slowly getting solved.\n\n“So it’s powered by eunuchs?”\n\nThe chakat shrugged, shi didn’t know what to say now, really. P.J. flopped down in his chair and looked at the view screen, watching the replay of Zooey orbiting a pen around a datapad shi was floating. The wolf tapped his fingers down on the arm rest.\n\n“Cirini, set course for Melicon IV!”\n\n", "writing_bbcode_parsed": "Every Rose Has Its Thorns

By Robert Adrian

“P.J., mind if we talk?” Syzgy asked hir commander as they passed each other in the hallways of the Apollo 9’s upper deck.  The chakat had a stern look to hir that the wolf knew meant that the conversation won’t be about what movie shi should rent off of the Internet.

“Well, I don’t suppose it would be a big deal Syz.  What’s on your mind?” P.J. asked, crossing his arms in front of his chest, leaning against the painted steel walls, rump perched on the hand railing with his tail curved to the right.

“Captain, I’m sure you remember the events dealing with the Meliconial transport ship a month or so back, right?”  Syz asked, looking left and right rapidly, checking that there wasn’t anyone going to walk by.

“Yeah, hard to forget such a thing.” P.J. smirked a little, “What, are you getting homosexual dreams now?”

“For your information, I’m already in a homosexual relationship, Both Sunny and myself are herms, and we do kiss when not on duty.”

“Touché.  Anyhoo, seriously, what’s up?”

“You remember that night where we tried to stop the dreams and all?  I thought of an image, and then you had the same one, right?” Syz asked, her right forepaw fidgeting nervously.

“Yeah, was a rather interesting and vivid memory of our fine commander wearing something, well, not very regimental.  Any reason you want to bring that up again?  That might put me into deep therapy, and it would be all your fault.”

“Look, I’m no telepath, I can’t just send images to others.”

“Well, you’re an empath, right?”

“That only lets me have an attunement and a mild projection of emotions, not exactly ideas or images, or words, or whatever.”

“Well, anyway, what about it?” P.J. asked, a little impatient, wondering where this conversation was going.

“Well, look, I got to push an image into your brain, right?  And then you gleened the fact that that was what I was thinking.”  The chakat said, hir tail tip flicking rapidly.

“Coincidence?”

“The easiest solution, but I suppose curiosity is starting to sink in this little feline brain.”

“So, what, we’re both psychic now or something?  I mean, what number am I thinking of?” P.J. asked, grinning smugly.

“Sixty-nine, sir, but that isn’t me being psychic.  No, I don’t think we’ve really permanently gained these sort of AMAs.”

“Erm, I think it’s been awhile since the last time I read Time, but, AMAs?”  P.J. asked, scratching the back of his head as he looked at his third-in-command.

“Advanced Mental Abilities.  Telepathy, Empathy, Telekinesis, Suggestion, also called ‘Power Word’ or the ‘Voice’ pending on what geek you talk to, Clairvoyance, and Precognition.  You know, the whole mysticism thing.”

“Right, so, we had some sort of short time of having an AMA that we didn’t have before.  And how did this come about?”  P.J. asked, cocking an eyebrow.  His own curiosity peeked.

“Well, scientifically we’d probably go through months and months of experimentation and such.”

P.J. made a sour face, “That doesn’t sound like much fun.”

“I wasn’t too keen on it either.  So, a simple case of deduction would state that when this occurred was when we were tethered to the Tantive.” Syz said, leaning against the railing next to Captain MacLupus.

“So, you’re saying that something from that merchant vessel--”

“Could possibly be used to expedite AMA affinity, yes.”

P.J. hmmmed a little, shrugging, “Well, what would do such a thing?”

“Well, a Gladston Psiamp could do it from that distance, however, there would be records of it onboard, and Zooey would have probably noticed it and been chatting all day about it.”

P.J. hmmed a little.  The psiamps are machines made by Dr. Gladston, a Skunk’taur who used various alien technologies to let psychics use their talents on a larger and broader scope, which is why they are very highly regulated.  A conditioned telekinetic with a well maintained psyamp could pull apart a space ship in a matter of minutes.  The wolf frowned a little, “So, what do you suspect?”

“Simple, what is the only factor in the equation?” the counselor asked rhetorically, “The Meliconial roses.”

“Wait, wait, you’re saying that those roses have psychic enhancers?”

“I’m not sure, but I wouldn’t mind testing it to find out.  Do you still have the cologne and the roses?”

“Yeah, they’re back in my room, haven’t used any yet.” P.J. said, a little hesitantly.  These sort of things were rather expensive off world.

“Don’t worry, captain, I’ll replace them if it doesn’t work out.” Shi grinned, sensing his reluctance to part with his aphrodisiacs.  Shi gave a smart salute and headed down the corridor, leaving P.J. alone.

“Wait!  What if it does work out?”

-+-+-

P.J., Dr. Sunstreak, and Dr. Syzgy all stood in the empty medical bay.  On a cart in front of them is the glass bottle of cologne, and the twelve, freeze dried roses.  “Alright, the experiment is simple.  P.J. you spritz Syz with a bit of your perfume—“

“Cologne.”

“Whatever, on my mate, erm, Syz’s cheek, and then Syz will try to gleen whatever I’m thinking of.” Sunny said, smiling.

“A yellow sun with a smily face on it.” Syz said without a beat after that.

“No, it isn’t, Syz.” Sunny said with a pouty face, then sighed, “Alright, fine, you ruined it.  Then think of whatever P.J.’s thinking.  And I’ll take notes.”  The two experimentees nodded to each other as P.J. picked up the bottle.  Making sure the atomizer is pointed at Syz and pressed twice on the top, misting hir fur gently.  Sunny smiled, “Alright, Syz, what’s P.J. thinking of right now?”

The chakat stood still for a minute, then grinned heavily, turning to hir mate as shi nearly pounced hir, kissing hir lips and cheeks furiously, pawing at hir.  “Ack! Syz!  No, wait!”  Sunny called, then inhaled deeply, obviously smelling what was on Syz as shi started to return the attention tenfold, “Mmm, yes, God, yes, Syz!”

P.J. was slowly backing toward the door at this time, blushing furiously as he watched the two, “Ummm, I think I’ll come back later.”  The sound of fabric being torn was heard from the ball of the two chakats.  P.J. did an about face and quickly ran for the door, “MUCH later!”

-+-+-

Roz saw Updike in the middle of the mess hall.  The gerbil was cradling a datapad and a cup of coffee.  The hamster padded her way over to him, humming softly, “Well, afternoon there, Monty, how are ya this fine day?”

Though she couldn’t see his eyes, the feeling that they were narrowing into an angry glare was unmistakable, “Firstly, ma’am, I’m commander Montgomery Updike, and I rather you refer to me as such.”  He set down the coffee and slid the datapad across the table to the hamster ringleader, “and secondly, there is no report for any surveys done in the last month!”

“Well now, sugar, we never made planetfall this month either.  And it’s a might difficult to do these sorts of things when we don’t go near the places we should, isn’t that right?”

“It’s Commander Updike, and what do you mean?  We had you and your men make the rounds over that floating brothel of a transport ship!”  Roz made it a point in her head that if she ever did land this cute guy, that she’d switch him to decaf post haste.

“The survey we’re issuing out is asking civilians under the jurisdiction of the government how they feel about the government, more or less.  So we only ask those that are citizens of the United Planets.”

“So what are you getting at?”

“Hon, you’re going to have to realize that your government doesn’t hold power over everyone in space.  Those were all born and bred Meliconites.  Of a star system that is not a member of the United Planets.  It would be like asking people in Phoenix what they thought people in, I dunno, Paris how their government was run.”

“Hmmm, I guess you’d be right there.” Monty muttered as he picked up his cup of coffee again and nursed another sip.

-+-+-

P.J. opened up the door to the medical bay when he heard a lot less noise going on in there.  “Syz, Sunny?  Erm, if you’re, ahhh, done now, maybe we should wait until later to continue the… OH MY GOD!”  he yelped, running back to the hallway again, going crimson as his heart pounded in his chest, “I didn’t think ‘taurs could bend that way!”

-+-+-

Zooey sang to hirself as she cleaned and polished the Apollo 9’s engine room.  All systems were green so there really wasn’t anything else to do on hir shift, and shi had a lot on hir mind shi’d rather not think about.

“Sergeant Perkins, the song isn’t as perky as it usually is when you do this sort of thing.” The Apollo A.I. observed, the many cameras watching hir as shi worked.  “Something wrong?”

“Oh, I’m fine, Apollo.  Just thinking about stuff.”  The bat said as shi ran hir fingers along a guardrail.

“What sort of stuff?”  The metallic voice asked from the speakers in the ceiling.

Zooey flew up and perched hirself upside down near one of the speaker/microphones, having a ‘quiet talk’ with the A.I.  “Well, just that, I dunno.  You remember that transport vessel we went on 34 Earth cycles ago?  I didn’t really notice it at first but.”

“Was there something wrong with it?”

“Well, there were a lot of old cyrotubes along the rooms on the exterior of the ship.  I’m guessing that they’re just old relics since the ship’s FTL engines still are operational, but…”

“Well, they could also be used to transport their merchandise.  Living things don’t tend to last long outside of their natural environment.”  The bodiless voice stated matter of factly.  There was a hint of pride in mentioning his immortality.

“I’d agree with you on that, except that there were plenty of hydroponics labs along the interior of the ship.  Also, tubes like that are usually kept in the interior decks of a ship where regulation and damage is least likely.  To have them on the outer decks is simply, you know, weird.”  Shi sighed and climbed down the infrastructure to the floor, “I’m going to take a walk, Apollo.  If Updike asks where I am, just tell him I’m in the bathroom.”

-+-+-

P.J. sighed, sitting down next to the door of the medical bay.  He knew that chakats had stamina, but good Lord, it’s been at least three hours since Syz jumped Sunny.  For the letch he is, he certainly felt perverted standing, or sitting, out here.

The blonde haired bat came waltzing down the hallway.  Seeing the captain shi stopped and greeted him, “Hey there, Capt!  How are things?” shi asked in hir usual, overly cheery tone.

“Hey, Zooey.  Erm, Could you look in the window there and tell me if Syz and Sunny are, erm, decent?”

Shi nodded, “Sure thing!” the bat got on hir tip toes to peek into the view window and nodded, “Sunny’s just writing on a datapad and Syz is talking with hir.  Is there something the matter?”

“No, no, thank you, Zooey.”  P.J. stood up and dusted off his rump, walking into the medical bay once more.  Syz was wearing one of the medical uniforms that were in the bay, and P.J. could swear that Sunny’s stripes were a little frazzled.  “That was certainly interesting.” The wolf said, blushing a bit at the scent in the room.

“Ah, yes, Captain.  I think that the Meliconial roses are definitely very, very potent aphrodisiacs, yes.”  Syz said, blushing beet red, exchanging nervous glances at Sunny.

“However,” the other chakat spoke, “any readings on new AMA abilities are strictly inconclusive.”  P.J. nodded, looking at the floor.

Zooey, being the curious bat shi is, wondered what they were doing in there and walked into the medical bay as well.  Shi saw the chakats and the wolf talk about Advanced Mental Abilities, but really wasn’t too interested.  Shi spied the bottle of cologne on a cart near them.  Picking it up shi grinned and gave hirself two squeezes, one under each cheek.

“Zooey!  Wait, no!”  Sunny said as the three of them nearly leapt away, holding their noses, trying not to inhale.

“Hmmm, whoever bought this stuff likes really crappy scents.” The bat said, putting the bottle down, “Smells like a week old rump roast.” Shi giggled, starting to walk toward the three.

“Don’t Zooey!  Don’t come any closer!”  P.J. ordered, wary of the now spiked bat, and worried what the three of them would do if shi got too close, ‘Though, I’m not even sure how that would work.’

“How what would work?” Zooey asked, cocking hir head a little, feeling scared and very left out from the crew.

“Err, Zooey, are you experiencing any sort of, you know, sexual attraction to any of us?” Sunny asked, picking up hir datapad slowly.  ‘Though I’m not sure which one of us shi’d like anyway.’

“Sexual attraction?  Nope, no more so than usual, which is none!” shi giggled, “And I like all of you guys, Sunny.  You’re all my best friends!”

Sunny, Syz and P.J. all exchanged glances, and then smiled slowly.  Syz cleared hir throat, “Zooey, hon, could you repeat what I’m saying?”  The bat giggled and nodded.

“Zooey, hon, could you repeat what I’m saying?” the bat repeated, then started to talk as Syz remained quiet.  “Need to do the laundry later and get another shirt since I ruined this one.  Sunny is definitely the cutest chakat around and the little squeal shi does when hir tail is tickled is the sweetest thing.”

“Syzygy!”  Sunny eeped, hir orange fur going deep red.

“Louie Louie, oh whoa, me gotta go now, yeah yeah yeah yeah.”  Zooey continued, looking up at the ceiling and counting tiles.

“Stop, Zooey, okay, we think we found the Telepathic AMA thing.” P.J. said, sitting down.

Zooey blinked a bit, “Oh, you mean this thing?” Shi asked, looking at the bottle of cologne.  The bottle rose slowly and whisked itself into Zooey’s paw, which caused the bat to giggle, “Hey, that’s neat!  How’d they make it do that?  Maybe some sort of brain wave activated antigrav device?”  The chakats gasped in amazement and jotted down more notes.  Zooey was used to people writing in things when they were around hir, especially considering hir cybernetic implants, shi’s been under intense scrutiny before, and it has stopped fazing hir.  P.J. walked over to Zooey, placing a paw on hir shoulder, still holding his breath.

“Zooey, I think you might have just uncovered the secret to this whole thing.”

-+-+-

An officers’ meeting was held inside the bridge of the Apollo 9.  P.J., Updike, Cirini, Sunny, Syz, and Zooey stood on the lower level of the bridge facing each other.

“Sir!  I’d like to remind you that this is a meeting for officers, and Sergeant Perkins here is merely an enlisted personnel!” Updike bellowed in his usual high-strung manner.  The tip of his long tail was flicking like mad.

“Commander Updike, cool it.  Zooey is a big part of this whole thing.”  P.J. said, walking to the centre of the circle, pacing a little.  “I’d say that there is a big threat to the Earth and all planets that we’ve discovered.  Something that could be absolutely devastating if not checked out.  And the source of it all is on Melicon IV.”

“Hah!  I knew it!  Permission to speak freely, sir, but I always knew that someday you’d realize that those sexual deviants and perverts there is a threat to our American culture.”

“Updike, permission denied.  It has nothing to do with what they do on the outside.  But rather, what they’re planning on the inside.  Apollo, playback what went on in the medical bay today.” P.J. said, looking at the main screen.

“Complying.”

“Oh, God, yes Syz, right…”

“ACK!  Later, later!  Fast forward!”  P.J. yelped.  All the present crewmen aside from Zooey were flushed with embarrassment.

“Sorry, Captain MacLupus.”  Apollo said.

“Doing that sort of thing on duty is a disgrace to the uniform you wear!”

“They weren’t in uniform then.”  Zooey said plainly making an accurate observation.

“It doesn’t matter!  They were on duty!  And I could have them court marshaled for such a thing.  I’ll have your career for this!”

P.J. snapped his jaws close at Updike’s face, “Updike, when I say ‘cool it’ you are going to keep that mouth shut unless I ask you to do otherwise.  Unless you want to be in charge of cleaning all the latrines on this ship for the rest of our mission, get it?  Got it, good.”  He sighed a little, “It wasn’t their fault.  We were experimenting with the Meliconial rose products we received from the Tantive IV.  Apollo, play back what when on the medical bay after Zooey Perkins entered the bay.”

The crew watched the playback.  From Zooey answering unasked questions to hir levitating objects to hir and around hir.  Lifting the cart and even one of the medical beds.  “That should be enough, Apollo, thank you.” P.J. said, looking over at his crew, then at the fidgeting gerbil.

“Alright, Updike, you have something on your mind, what is it?”

“Well, I’m not sure I believe all that stuff.  I mean, shi could have just guessed what you were thinking.”

“And the levitation?”

“Just a camera trick.”

“I’ll assure you, Commander Updike, my cameras cannot be tampered with.”  Apollo said to the gerbil, feeling insulted.

“It’s alright, I was expecting this.  Everyone but Zooey, please put on your gas masks.”  Everyone did what they were ordered.  Zooey blushed at being the centre of attention.  The wolf picked up the half full bottle of AMA enhancer.  He gave hir three spritz of the stuff.  “Okay, Updike, think of a number between, well, negative infinity and positive infinity.”

Zooey closed hir eyes, “Fifty, Seventeen seventy six, Pi, a million, a bajillion, is that even a number?  Fourteen ninety-two.  Commander Updike sir, could you please pick only one number?”

‘My, it works!’

‘Shi can read minds now?’

‘That means that ship could have…’

‘What’s for dinner tonight?’

‘I didn’t know ‘taurs could bend like that.’

‘I’ll take hir hindlegs and snap them like wishbones for what they did!’

‘I’ll make a noose out of his own tail.’

‘I wonder how to go to Melicon IV.’

‘You know, Zooey is a little cute.’

‘Does the captain know about me?’

Zooey’s heart pounded hard as shi spun around.  Hir ears flattened against hir head as shi slowly started to hyperventilate.  “Shhh, shut up!  Please shut up!”

‘What’s wrong?’

‘No one’s saying anything.’

‘Why is shi flipping out.’

‘That isn’t like hir.’

Zooey collapsed on the ground, sobbing and repeating over and over for quiet, twitching hir legs.  Hir hands clutching hir large ears and pulling them hard against her cheeks, her tiny claws ripping into the skin as shi continues to cry and convulse in the panic.  P.J. nodded to Syz as the chakat picked hir up.  “You know the rest of what I’m going to say, get hir out of here.”

The chakat took the whimpering bat out of the bridge, trying to calm hir down as shi continued to flail.  P.J. sighed softly, “I’m sorry Zooey, that I did that.”  He said to himself.  He closed his eyes for a moment, collecting his thoughts, and then went back to addressing his crew.  “From what we’ve discovered, the roses heighten both telepathic and telekinetic abilities in non-able morphs.  This is usually unnoticed, or canceled by its labido increasing properties.”

“So, what brought this up, Captain?” Cirini asked, still very confused about the whole thing.

“Well, when I flipped out last month, Dr. Syzgy did some dream therapy experiments on me, and we found that we both connected on a mildly telepathic scale.”

“Did you have the roses then?”

“No, but we were docked with the Tantive IV.”  P.J. hmmed softly, “Apollo, when we were docked with the Tantive IV was there any exchange of ship atmospheres?”

“Of course, Captain.  When one opens airlocks with another ship, there’s bound to be exchange and dissipation to a homogenous state.”

“And that would include pheromones in the air.”

“Of course.”

“Apollo, could you somehow find what was in our air on the night that Syz did that dream therapy experiment?”

“There’s a record of all particles going through the air purification system.  Just a moment and I’ll look it up.”

Syz walked back into the bridge, a little downhearted, but mostly unfazed.  “How’s shi doing?” P.J. asked, waiting for Apollo’s answer.

“Oh, mostly fine, I suppose.  Back at the school I worked at there was a skunk’taur that couldn’t control hys telepathy either.  Same hysterical fits and all.  Shi’s wearing some headphones playing some classical music.  It worked for hym.”

P.J. nodded, “Well, Shi obviously has the rest of hir shift off to recuperate.  Apollo, have you found the data?”

“Yes, Captain.  I’m assuming that you are most concerned with that strand of carbon molecule in the air.  There were 0.0000042597% of all the air in your cabin that contained Meliconial rose pheromones.”

Syz nodded a little, “That means that there wasn’t enough to get either of us aroused.”

P.J. nodded, “And because you were so close to me when you thought of it.”

Updike blinked, “Thought of what, exactly?”

Syz smiled and nodded, “Right, the brain waves were closer together and the image I thought of transferred easier!”

“What image?”

“And Zooey had a full blast of this stuff.”

“But shi doesn’t really have a sex drive so…”

“What did you think of!”

“It went all into an AMA!”

“Right!”

Updike sighed, flustered at the conversation that he wasn’t a part of.  Cirini and Sunny crept out of the conversation, starting to talk to each other about what was being served in the mess tonight.

“So, someone without a sex drive can use a lot of the roses and get the full benefit.”

“Right!” Syz purred, glad that this mystery was slowly getting solved.

“So it’s powered by eunuchs?”

The chakat shrugged, shi didn’t know what to say now, really.  P.J. flopped down in his chair and looked at the view screen, watching the replay of Zooey orbiting a pen around a datapad shi was floating.  The wolf tapped his fingers down on the arm rest.

“Cirini, set course for Melicon IV!”

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