{"submission_id":"2853856","keywords":[{"keyword_id":"5251","keyword_name":"aardvark","contributed":"f","submissions_count":"610"},{"keyword_id":"6709","keyword_name":"fat furs","contributed":"f","submissions_count":"3645"},{"keyword_id":"13382","keyword_name":"humanoid","contributed":"f","submissions_count":"10089"},{"keyword_id":"389239","keyword_name":"kineceleran","contributed":"f","submissions_count":"21"},{"keyword_id":"87279","keyword_name":"mantrin","contributed":"f","submissions_count":"49"},{"keyword_id":"957","keyword_name":"minotaur","contributed":"f","submissions_count":"2087"},{"keyword_id":"26268","keyword_name":"sumo","contributed":"f","submissions_count":"227"},{"keyword_id":"261953","keyword_name":"zarbon","contributed":"f","submissions_count":"4"}],"hidden":"f","scraps":"f","favorite":"f","favorites_count":"0","create_datetime":"2022-11-09 02:50:32.1614+01","create_datetime_usertime":"09 Nov 2022 02:50 CET","last_file_update_datetime":"2022-11-09 02:47:16.891986+01","last_file_update_datetime_usertime":"09 Nov 2022 02:47 CET","username":"Gateway2005","user_id":"821739","user_icon_file_name":null,"user_icon_url_large":null,"user_icon_url_medium":null,"user_icon_url_small":null,"file_name":"4243596_Gateway2005_sumo_size_me_2.doc","file_url_full":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/files/full/4243/4243596_Gateway2005_sumo_size_me_2.doc","file_url_screen":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/files/screen/4243/4243596_Gateway2005_sumo_size_me_2.doc","file_url_preview":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/files/preview/4243/4243596_Gateway2005_sumo_size_me_2.doc","thumbnail_url_huge":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/huge/4243/4243596_Gateway2005_sumo_size_me_2.jpg","thumbnail_url_large":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/large/4243/4243596_Gateway2005_sumo_size_me_2.jpg","thumbnail_url_medium":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/medium/4243/4243596_Gateway2005_sumo_size_me_2.jpg","thumb_huge_x":"300","thumb_huge_y":"295","thumb_large_x":"200","thumb_large_y":"196","thumb_medium_x":"120","thumb_medium_y":"118","files":[{"file_id":"4243596","file_name":"4243596_Gateway2005_sumo_size_me_2.doc","file_url_full":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/files/full/4243/4243596_Gateway2005_sumo_size_me_2.doc","file_url_screen":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/files/screen/4243/4243596_Gateway2005_sumo_size_me_2.doc","file_url_preview":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/files/preview/4243/4243596_Gateway2005_sumo_size_me_2.doc","mimetype":"application/msword","submission_id":"2853856","user_id":"821739","submission_file_order":"0","full_size_x":null,"full_size_y":null,"screen_size_x":null,"screen_size_y":null,"preview_size_x":null,"preview_size_y":null,"initial_file_md5":"2db79d215d4c9924cfafdae86ea26577","full_file_md5":"2db79d215d4c9924cfafdae86ea26577","large_file_md5":"","small_file_md5":"","thumbnail_md5":"cd2407e741a3c6eabf95fbd28b530fa1","deleted":"f","create_datetime":"2022-11-09 02:47:16.891986+01","create_datetime_usertime":"09 Nov 2022 02:47 CET","thumbnail_url_huge":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/huge/4243/4243596_Gateway2005_sumo_size_me_2.jpg","thumbnail_url_large":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/large/4243/4243596_Gateway2005_sumo_size_me_2.jpg","thumbnail_url_medium":"https://nl.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/medium/4243/4243596_Gateway2005_sumo_size_me_2.jpg","thumb_huge_x":"300","thumb_huge_y":"295","thumb_large_x":"200","thumb_large_y":"196","thumb_medium_x":"120","thumb_medium_y":"118"}],"pools":[],"description":"After arriving in Vegas, Dirk along with the band members meet up with Saburo to help get dirk settled in as well as to have a good time\n\nNOTES\n-Saburo's appearance is based on the monster form of Zarbon from DBZ. Being that there's no name for the race, the species is simply called a \"zarbon\" in these stories\n\nA commissioned story hdalby33 on furaffinity","description_bbcode_parsed":"After arriving in Vegas, Dirk along with the band members meet up with Saburo to help get dirk settled in as well as to have a good time

NOTES
-Saburo's appearance is based on the monster form of Zarbon from DBZ. Being that there's no name for the race, the species is simply called a "zarbon" in these stories

A commissioned story hdalby33 on furaffinity","writing":"Navigating Vegas traffic proved to be one of the few things in life that truly put Seth on edge. The Kineceleran muttered cursed under his breath that would've made a pole dancer blush as he honked, weaved, braked and accelerated his way through miles of clogged highways. \n\n``If we're gonna make it here,'' he called to his band members, ``then the first thing I'm gonna demand is a chopper to not have to deal with this bullshit. Or maybe a chauffeur.'' \n\n``Aww, you're doing great,'' Zimmer called back. ``We'll be sure to tip you when we get to the hotel.'' \n\nAfter Seth made a couple more grumbles about where the mantrin could shove his tip, they finally pulled up in front of the Caesar. Dirk's eyes were wide with wonder as he took in the street performers doing shows on the sidewalks, the scantily clad ladies ushering passerbyers into their casinos and the excess number of very overweight talent making their way into the Caesar. \n\n``Damn, dude, have you seen the size of some of these lardballs. Like that guy over there,'' he pointed to a wolf who looked like he'd swallowed the moon he'd been howling at waddling their way into the hotel dressed in a pink polo that barely even covered his gut. ``I mean, that dude could fill this entire van!'' \n\n``Well you chose to fight against that lardball, Dirk,'' Seth said as he slid the keys out of the ignition and opened the door. ``Zimmer told you there'd be some serious competition. If you don't think your muscles can manage it, then just give the word and we'll go to the band venue.'' \n\n``Nice try,'' the minotaur sneered. ``But Dirk backs down from no challenge.'' \n\n``Please do NOT start referring to yourself in the third person,'' Jason groaned. ``I will smash your face with a cymbal.'' \n\n``Try it, pipsqueak, and I'll beat you like a drum.'' \n\nSensing the hostilities were getting a little heated, Zimmer decided to play peacemaker. ``Why don't you guys find someone to valet the van and take our stuff up to our room? I'll take Dirk and sign him up. If I see Saburo, I'll tell him you guys are coming in a moment.''\n\nSeth nodded and Zimmer led Dirk through the throngs of big-bellied beasts he'd be wrestling with in two short days. ``Who's Saburo?'' the minotaur asked as he eyed the veritable feast of overfed sumo flab on display. \n\n``Friend of ours who lives here. He's involved in all sorts of events. Sort of the ``knows who's who'' guy of Vegas. I haven't seen him for awhile, but if you... oh my god, Saburo?!'' \n\nDirk followed Zimmer's stunned gaze across the lobby to where a line of sumos were waiting to sign up at a dinky little table manned by a slender snow leopard. Off to one side stood what Dirk initially thought to be another sumo, but then he saw the black shirt with ``SECURITY/INFORMATION'' printed liberally across it. Beneath that black shirt hung a huge, light-green belly easily as big as some of the ones the sumos were sporting. Saburo looked to be mostly humanoid, with the exception of bright green hair and a flattened dome where one's nose usually went. When he saw Zimmer and Dirk across the room, his eyes lit up and he waddled over to envelope the mantrin in a very warm, squishy hug. \n\n``ZIMMEEEER!'' Saburo said as he lifted the mantrin off their feet. ``Long time no see, bro! You're looking great!'' \n\n``Urk... thanks,'' Zimmer wheezed, before patting the zarbon's shoulder. ``Mind lightening up? My spleen's about to eject from my nose.'' \n\n``Oh sure,'' Saburo let the mantrin go and took a step back. \n\n``Dude,'' Zimmer panted as he poked his friend's belly. ``What happened there?'' \n\nSaburo grinned rather proudly, looking completely unashamed as he rubbed his huge gut. ``Vegas, baby! Partying every night, drinking, eating out. All for free! It does things to you man.'' \n\n``So I see,'' the mantrin panted. He looked to Dirk, who was gaping at the massively obese zarbon, and a sneaky thought occurred to him. ``Saburo,'' he said more clearly. ``This is Dirk. Dirk's planning on entering the sumo competition... and he's also quite a fan of hugs.'' \n\nThe minotaur's ears shot up. But before he could protest, Saburo engulfed the bull in a sweaty hug that made Dirk moo most embarrassingly. Dirk struggled desperately, but Saburo's flabby bulk and plump arms were stronger than they looked and he found he couldn't get any good purchase on them. After a solid thirty seconds of struggling, the zarbon finally relented and let the muscled minotaur slide back to their hooves. \n\n``So you're planning on entering the sumo league?'' Saburo asked. ``Think you got what it takes?'' \n\nDirk immediately flexed, showing off rippling layers of pectorals, abs and biceps. ``Damn right! I'll show these fatties how real wrestling's done!'' \n\nSaburo looked unimpressed. ``Funny enough the sort of wrestling I think you're referring too is about as scripted as a broadway play. Sumo stuff is different.'' He pointed out the horse Zimmer had shown Dirk on the ride over. The enormously fat stud was casually waiting in line now, but his bulk seemed to dominate everyone and everything around him. ``Iron Stallion over there is 24-1-0. He only tied one guy because the other fella had about five hundred pounds on him. Not a single one of these guys would give you a second look. You'd be the underdog here, dude. By like six hundred pounds. If you can gain like two more of you in the next two days then maybe you won't be wiped off the face of the earth in a couple bouts. Otherwise, you're dead meat.'' \n\nThe minotaur's ears flattened and he shook his head while patting Saburo's expansive midriff. ``You seem like a cool guy, Subaru, but I don't lose. I'm gonna crush every single one of these fatasses with one arm tied behind my back.'' \n\nSaburo looked to Zimmer, who shrugged and mouthed ``I told you so'' to him. \n\nSighing, the flabby humanoid nodded and turned to waddle over to the table. ``Well if your heart's set on it, then we'll sign you up. I'll even waive the entry fee.'' \n\n``Thanks, bro!'' \n\n``Hey, just think of it as the deposit on your ambulance fee,'' Saburo said. \n\nDirk ignored that and grinned at Zimmer just as Seth and Jason came up to them. ``So what's the news?'' Seth asked. ``Did our dark horse get in?''\n\n``Yep,'' Zimmer said, nodding to Saburo. ``We had a little help too.'' \n\nJason and Seth clapped their fat friend on the back in an exchange of greetings before Saburo allocated a slot, contestant placard, and some passes for the band members. Once everything was sorted, the obese humanoid made plans to meet them all back down in the lobby at eight so they could go to the Onyx to get a feel for it before playing on Friday. \n\nAfter another round of hugs and good natured teasing, Dirk, Seth, Jason and Zimmer all ventured up to their room to relax and unwind. Zimmer made sure to text Ulysses and let him know what was going on. The older mantrin responded that he was looking forward to it and wished he could be there. Once he'd gotten Ulysses up to date, they all relaxed until it was time to meet Saburo down in the lobby. \n\nWhen night began to grace the jagged peaks of the Spring Mountains, Dirk, Jason, Seth and Zimmer all donned their best outfits and headed downstairs to meet their ridiculously overfed guide. Zimmer found his zarbon friend had changed into a suit that somehow managed to cover most of his colossal belly while his thick green hair had been done up in a messy bun. Saburo looked to be surrounded by a couple of concerned looking staff of the hotel. \n\nA pudgy badger was holding a clipboard and arguing with the obese zarbon about something. As Zimmer approached, he saw the file had Dirk's name on it. While the rest of the group caught up, the badger continued arguing with Saburo. \n\n``I just can't figure out why for the life of me you'd allow this guy to compete! He weighs less than half of the next smallest contest, he doesn't have an ounce of fat on him and he'll get absolutely smeared across the ring if we let him in!'' \n\nDirk, who'd been puffing up at the first two parts of that sentence, immediately deflated at the last. He stepped up behind the badger, whom he easily eclipsed with his broad figure, and puffed a blast of air into their hair. \n\n``I think you'll find I'm more than capable of handling my own,'' the minotaur grunted. He flexed an impressive bicep in the badger's face. \n\nThe staffer looked rather unimpressed as he reached out and took hold of the minotaur's muscle, before turning to shake it at Saburo. ``See what I mean? The doofus is rock solid! He'd be punching those bellies like an idiot and they'd catapult him into the stands.'' \n\nSaburo simply shrugged. ``I already promised him a place. I'm not going to back out on my word, Kyle. You know how it is. On every level, Dirk meets the criteria. He might not be fat enough or weigh enough to be a true competitor, but the rules don't stipulate we disqualify him either.'' \n\n``Yeah, bro,'' Dirk said as he flexed his pecs against the badger's back. ``I'm built to last. I'll go out there Saturday and make those lardballs wish they'd never paid for three seats on their plane rides out here. Feel me?''\n\nKyle adopted a look that everyone present was familiar with. A mixture of resignation and annoyance. ``Well, bro,'' he said as he turned to face the bull. ``Maybe you wouldn't mind doing me a favor then, bro.'' \n\n``Name it, shortstack.'' \n\nThe badger turned out of the way and pointed at Saburo. ``I assume you played football?'' \n\nDirk puffed up while Zimmer, Seth and Jason watched curiously. ``Four time MVP for the Varsity Blue Bells-'' \n\n``Yeah, I don't care,'' Kyle interrupted. He walked over to where Saburo stood and slapped the zarbon's massive belly, making it jiggle back and forth. ``You know tackling drills, then? Well they're not much different from some standard sumo charges. Saburo here is ex-sumo. He weighs... how much do you weigh?'' \n\n``Couple pounds shy of eight hundred,'' the obese zarbon answered, trying to keep a grin from playing on his round face. \n\n``Eight hundred is a bit on the low side,'' Kyle said. ``But it'll do. Dirk, I want you to hit Saburo with your best tackle. Don't hold anything back. Let it all out. Put every single one of those overdeveloped muscles and underdeveloped brain cells into it and try and see if you can move the big guy an inch. Then we'll talk.'' \n\nDirk looked between Saburo and the badger in confusion. Then he turned to Zimmer who he'd sort of begun to rely on to clarify things. The mantrin simply shrugged and held out his hand as if to say, ``Well go on.''\n\n``Alright,'' he muttered, looking at the fat zadron. ``You're good with this?'' Saburo nodded and the minotaur shrugged. ``Well if you guys are willing to pay the hospital bill...'' \n\nTaking a couple steps back, Dirk lowered himself into a crouching position while Seth, Jason and Zimmer cleared the way. Saburo looked completely nonchalant as he adopted a slight crouch, with his broad thighs splaying out to either side and his belly bulging toward the minotaur. Snorting a bit, Dirk got himself balanced and then, on Kyle cue, exploded toward Saburo. \n\nTime seemed to slow for everyone as Dirk charged headfirst toward that wall of jiggling lard. Zimmer, Seth and Jason all watched with varying levels of fascination and horror, with Seth making sure to film it so Ulysses could see it too. Kyle and Saburo were the only ones who seemed completely unperturbed as Dirk's hooves rang off the floor. \n\nHis curved horns and lowered shoulder slammed into Saburo's stomach first, sending a shockwave through it that made the zarbon slosh violently. The wave traveled over his bowing gut, through his chest and into his plump rear before diminishing. As the energy dissipated, Dirk continued sinking into the center of that belly, his snout, horns, shoulder and upper torso all sinking almost a foot into Subaro's stomach before any resistance was found. Then the zarbon shifted his stance ever so slightly and sucked in a huge breath. Immediately his belly surged outward as it tightened, catapulting Dirk backward to the floor with a high pitched MOO! He collapsed in a heap, looking stunned with everyone standing over him. \n\nPanting softly, the minotaur climbed to his feet and looked around for a second. ``Bro...'' he said slowly. ``That was... AWESOME! You gotta try out for pro football sometime. They could give you the ball and just send you waddling toward the end zone.'' \n\n``I tried out actually,'' Saburo said nonchalantly. ``And found out they don't make jerseys big enough.'' \n\nDirk didn't seem to pick up on the sarcasm, because he embraced the lard-laden zarbon and slapped his back. ``Well they're missing out, cuz that was insane! I can't wait to hit more fatties in the ring!'' \n\nSaburo looked to Kyle, who was struggling not to crack a smile at Dirk's raw enthusiasm. Even the badger had to admit the minotaur possessed a rather endearing quality of earnestness about him. \n\n``I think he'd play well for the cameras,'' the zarbon said. ``What do you think?''\n\nKyle shook his head. ``Well, like you said, there's no rules saying he couldn't.'' Extending a hand to the minotaur, the badger grudgingly welcomed him officially into the competition. \n\nDirk being Dirk naturally turned the handshake into a full on hug that Kyle wasn't terribly keen to accept. After some struggling, the badger finally broke free and bid the Saburo, Dirk and the band members good night. He also promised to come and see them at Club Onyx the next night. \n\nOnce he'd departed, Saburo led the way to the lobby's front entrance where a stretch limo awaited them. ``One of the perks of knowing everyone,'' he said loudly, ``is you get to pull some strings. Plus, this is like the only thing save for an eighteen wheeler that would fit my fatass.'' With that, the obese zarbon squeezed into the limo with the others in tow and they hit the strip to go check out Club Onyx. \n\nWhen they reached the club, Saburo flashed his pass to get them through the VIP entrance where they secured a circular booth fairly close to the DJ table. Saburo, who barely managed to fit his heft behind the table, instead opted to smother a chair kindly provided by a passing waitress. She also took orders for their drinks while the zarbon pointed out the stage and overall setup of the Onyx. \n\n``It's like a big dome,'' he shouted over the pulse of the music. \n\n``What is?'' Zimmer yelled back while Dirk oogled the number of scantily clad dancers twisting around poles and slipping through the crowd. ``Your belly?'' \n\n``Haha!'' Saburo replied dryly. ``I'm talking about the stage you'll be playing.'' He nodded to the DJ in the middle of the room, where a 360 degree set up had been created for his table. The DJ - a stylish iguana whose scales would naturally turn the colors of the hundreds of lasers and lights perforating the dance floor - seemed to be turning every which way to engage the crowd. ``It's top of the line. You guys can set it on a slow rotation so you don't have to worry about facing in the wrong direction.'' \n\n``That would be nice,'' Seth agreed as he accepted a glowing drink the color of radioactive waste from their waitress and took a sip. ``Drinks aren't bad either.''\n\nJason, who'd been studying the table closely, nodded in agreement. ``I should be fine if I put up my shields.'' Being the drummer, the aardvark had to contend with Seth's dominating vocal's and Zimmer's guitar. Utilizing giant panes of acrylic sheeting, he could separate his sound from theirs to better complement the music. A rotating set would only complicate the issue as furs would be hearing it from different spots all over the place. Though he doubted they would care much with how drunk most seemed to be getting. Shaking his head, the aardvark took his own drink and sucked it down in a matter of seconds before ordering another.\n\nDirk, who'd ordered a giant German lager, laughed loudly. ``Careful there, lightweight. You have another one of those and you might pass out.''\n\nJason stirred his second drink absentmindedly while staring at the burly minotaur. ``Speaking of lightweights,'' he said casually. ``Remind me again who it was that got knocked flat on his ass by Saburo over there? Can you help me out, Dirk? I'm really struggling here.''\n\nImmediately, the minotaur's glare darkened and he grumbled to himself. ``It was a lucky shot,'' he huffed, his ears flapping with embarrassment as everyone snorted. Guzzling down the rest of his beer, Dirk flagged the waitress down for another and drowned his short term woes while Zimmer continued discussing the stage and club with Saburo. \n\n``So just how many clubs do you have special access to,'' the mantrin asked as he sipped at a vodka tonic. Unlike his band mates, he didn't plan on getting completely hammered right off the bat. He wanted to learn more about their venue and then party in it. \n\nSaburo rubbed his colossal belly, which he'd rested on the edge of the table, while nursing a full handle of whisky. ``Pretty much any place I can fit. Growing up here gives you a good idea of who's running what. I made some... well-placed bets on who to befriend over the years and those really blossomed in beautiful relationships. Like take Caesar's for example.''\n\nZimmer's eyes widened. ``Don't tell me you know the owner of Caesar's.''\n\nTh obese zarbon shook his head and chuckled. ``No, but I DO know the head of security, the gambling commissioner and have a good relationship with their pit bosses. And it's not really about what access I can get so much as the information that passes between them. Like, for example, say Byron was coming to stay in Vegas for a concert.'' (Byron was a world famous old-fashioned rock star roo who had a bit of a reputation for wild parties and lavish spending. His gambling habits made him a fan-favorite for the casinos to vye over.) ``I would waddle my way through Caesar's and have some nice little conversations with all my contacts. We'd share some information - what hangar Bryon is landing in, where he might be wanting to go, what sort of mood he's in, who we send to pick him up, what rooms are available - and then we meticulously plan it all out from there. Within an hour I could have a full itinerary ready for him.'' \n\nSaburo grinned as he swigged more of his whiskey and Zimmer drained his drink while listening in fascination. The mantrin looked around to see his friends were slowly getting more and more buzzed. The social barriers were breaking down, especially between Jason and Dirk, who'd found common ground passionately discussing different workouts the aardvark could use to strengthen his wrist for drumming. Seth, being the sly Kincerelan he was, had taken to impressing their waitress with his wit. He seemed to be in the middle of promising backstage passes to their show the following night if she brought him another drink. \n\nZimmer shook his head as Saburo finished his brief pause. He rubbed his belly which had now begun to slosh audibly with all that alcohol. ``And of course,'' the zarbon continued. ``I'd make similar plans with the Venetian, New York New York, and MGM just to be safe. Then go with the best option.''\n\nThe mantrin burst out laughing as he accepted another drink. ``And the casinos are okay with this?''\n\n``In the long run everyone benefits,'' Saburo chuckled. ``And if there's someone no one will ever feel sorry for being cheated, it's a casino.'' \n\n``Fair point,'' Zimmer agreed. ``So who'd you talk to to land my skinny butt up on that stage?'' \n\nSaburo tapped the side of his non-existent nose. ``Well I did a favor for one of the pit bosses over at MGM and the owner of Club Onyx owed him quite a bit of money, so he asked them politely. Naturally, the owner was a little apprehensive about it, so they took a helicopter tour around the strip together and said pit boss politely asked our owner friend again while dangling him out of the chopper by his heels. He was quite responsive after that.''\n\nZimmer stared at the massive zarbon for a long moment, his mouth opening and closing as he processed this. \n\nThen Saburo burst out laughing and gave the slender mantrin a punch in the shoulder. ``Just joking, man. I did do a favor for the pit boss at MGM and the owner's a distant relative or something. They were more than happy to sign you guys up when I showed them a video of you playing at that festival last spring.''\n\nThe mantrin sighed in relief and shook his head. ``You're gonna give me a heart attack one of these days, fatass. All that blubber you're carrying around is supposed to stress you out, not me.'' \n\nSaburo hefted his belly in his hands thoughtfully, before letting it slowly pour down toward the floor in a big, blubbery sag. He patted one of the two watermelon-sized moobs adorning his chest which looked like it was ready to burst out of his parasail of a button down. ``Being this big isn't as bad as you'd think, you know. Lends a lot of confidence to you once you get over the stares. It's like walking around naked. For a little while you feel vulnerable and worry that you're doing something wrong. Then eventually you remind yourself that this is Vegas, home of the freaks and outlaws, and you become too busy with other stuff to worry about it.'' \n\nZimmer watched his friend's stomach bob up and down. Without thinking, he leaned over and planted a slender paw in its epicenter and let all that plush, zarbon lard envelope it until it disappeared. ``I have a brother who would probably love to meet you.'' \n\n``Is he a big fella too?'' \n\nThe mantrin nodded. ``Not as big as you, obviously, but he's well on his way.'' \n\nSaburo laughed and slowly hauled himself to his feet. ``Well next time he's headed this way, let me know and we'll have a fatty's night out.'' \n\nAs if he'd triggered something, the other band members and Dirk all followed Saburo's suit as he sloshed to his feet. Zimmer realized they were all a little wobbly themselves, giggling and bumping one another. He grinned as he felt the warm buzz of his drink beginning to settle at the back of his mind, freeing up his inhibitions and allowing him to fully relax for the first time since they'd gotten in the car. \n\nAllowing Saburo to take the lead, Zimmer and his companions headed down the dance floor where the fat zarbon used imposing heft to clear a space for them to begin dancing to the DJ's beats. For Zimmer, the sensation was quite exhilarating. He wasn't much of a party animal and when it came to drinking, he was a bit of a light weight despite traveling so much with the band. So when a waitress offered him a drink that smelled delicious and very strong, he accepted it happily while bumping hips and bellies with his friends. \n\nThe rest of that night only grew continuously rowdier for Zimmer. And he was the most responsible one. Dirk being Dirk naturally went all out, drinking down lager after lager until he was singing along to ``Poker Face'' and spinning around. Eventually he hopped up on one of the poles and, much to the delight of the ladies in the crowd, began stripping. If Zimmer hadn't known better he might've suspected that Dirk had found their new calling. \n\nSeth and Jason were only slightly better, having gotten really into the music and dancing like madmen to it. The Kineceleran could actually pull some cool moves being the singer of their band and he'd managed to get himself invited up on stage beside the DJ. Jason seemed more content to bump around in the sea of waving limbs and gyrating hips. \n\nZimmer found himself instinctively gravitating toward Saburo because the massive zarbon created a small ring of space around his enormous belly that the mantrin could linger in if he needed space. The two of them exchanged grins and yelled silly things while eagerly accepting drinks from a very attentive waitress. At one point, Zimmer was pretty sure he lost his balance and ended up plowing face first into Saburo's stomach, but neither of them seemed to mind. \n\nAfter what felt like an eternity of being blasted with different pop hits from the past thirty years, Saburo dutifully began rounding everyone up. He grabbed Dirk off the stage where the minotaur had somehow gotten several hundred dollars stuffed in his pants, then he had a couple of the staff gently point Seth off the stage and Jason toward them. Once they were all gathered in a very drunken and giggly crowd off to one side of the Onyx, Saburo told them they were going to head back to Caesar. \n\n``We don't have to stop partying!'' he yelled, ``but you'll thank me tomorrow when you wake up in a bed instead of a club bathroom.'' \n\nEven Dirk, who was looking back longingly at the pole, couldn't deny the zarbon's logic. \n\nSo Saburo led the way out of the club where they all piled into the stretch limo and headed back to the hotel. When they got there it was another adventure herding everyone into the elevator (which proved a very tight fit with Saburo in the mix) and went up to their suite. \n\nBy the time Zimmer hit a couch in the huge living room area he actually felt ready to go to sleep, but then Seth came out of the kitchen holding some fancy bottle of fifty year old Scotch and poured everyone around. Not wanting to be a party pooper, the mantrin accepted and the party kept going for quite awhile.\n\nAfter Dirk tried to recreate his stripping on the coffee table, Zimmer lost all memory. \n\n[center]*****\n\nMorning\n\n*****[/center]\n\nVarious members of the band and co. awoke at different times the following morning. Saburo was first. The obese zarbon jolted awake in the shower, completely naked, with his belly bulging up against the class. Rubbing his eyes, he slowly wobbled to his feet, wrapped the largest robe he could find around himself and padded into the kitchen to make some coffee. \n\nWhile in there, the zarbon discovered Seth sprawled across the dining table with a marble head cuddled in his arms. The Kinecerelan groaned when Saburo poked his foot, so the zarbon left him to wallow in his own misery while he did a sweep of the rest of the suite. Jason was found on the floor between the coffee table and the couch with a crude tattoo of the band's logo on his bicep. He roused a little quicker than Seth and, upon seeing the tattoo, groaned to himself. \n\n``Welcome to Vegas,'' he muttered to himself as he got up and stretched. \n\nSeth came in from the kitchen with three mugs of coffee and joined the others on the couch. As they sipped their coffees, Saburo broke the news to them. \n\n``I couldn't find Dirk or Zimmer anywhere. Do you guys remember anything from last night?'' \n\n``Dirk told me he was going down to the gym to work out,'' Jason recalled. ``That was at like... eight, I think?'' He glanced at his watch which read a quarter to twelve. \n\n``How in the world could he possibly want to work out after a night like that,'' Seth said. ``Just the thought of a treadmill makes me want to hurl.''\n\n``Me too,'' Saburo chuckled as he looked down at the overhang spilling over his legs. ``For different reasons though.'' \n\n``Well at least the sumo moo is accounted for,'' Seth continued. ``That leaves Zimmer. Let's see. I remember we came back here, I found that scotch. We toasted, played some sort of party game...'' \n\n``Charades,'' Jason continued. ``You tried to be a giraffe, but you kept bleating like a sheep. We stopped doing that because it wasn't working. Someone, I think Dirk, decided we needed a top off. We all went down to the lobby for some food and beer...''\n\n``And we remembered this place had a wicked late night waterpark,'' Saburo went on. ``We messed around in there for like an hour-''\n\n``Best part of the night,'' Seth added while Jason nodded in agreement. \n\n``-And then someone mentioned a rooftop bar,'' the zarbon continued. ``So we headed up there, but then the idiot...'' he paused to let the other know it was him who'd gotten this part confused. ``Realized the bar was at another casino, so we came back here.'' \n\n``So where did we lose a tall, skinny, uptight mantrin in all that?'' Seth murmured. \n\n[center]*****\n\nThe Hotel Roof\n\n*****[/center]\n\nAs the casinos slowly quieted down and Vegas came alive with traffic and every day hubbub, Zimmer's eyes shot open. The fine glare of the desert sun peeled back his eyelids and the mantrin moaned as he rubbed his aching temples. Stumbling to his feet, the parched, hungover and very confused mantrin made his way toward the edge of the rooftop where the strip unfolded before him. \n\n``Vegas,'' he sighed, shaking his head. ``What a hell of a city.''\n\n","writing_bbcode_parsed":"Navigating Vegas traffic proved to be one of the few things in life that truly put Seth on edge. The Kineceleran muttered cursed under his breath that would've made a pole dancer blush as he honked, weaved, braked and accelerated his way through miles of clogged highways.

``If we're gonna make it here,'' he called to his band members, ``then the first thing I'm gonna demand is a chopper to not have to deal with this bullshit. Or maybe a chauffeur.''

``Aww, you're doing great,'' Zimmer called back. ``We'll be sure to tip you when we get to the hotel.''

After Seth made a couple more grumbles about where the mantrin could shove his tip, they finally pulled up in front of the Caesar. Dirk's eyes were wide with wonder as he took in the street performers doing shows on the sidewalks, the scantily clad ladies ushering passerbyers into their casinos and the excess number of very overweight talent making their way into the Caesar.

``Damn, dude, have you seen the size of some of these lardballs. Like that guy over there,'' he pointed to a wolf who looked like he'd swallowed the moon he'd been howling at waddling their way into the hotel dressed in a pink polo that barely even covered his gut. ``I mean, that dude could fill this entire van!''

``Well you chose to fight against that lardball, Dirk,'' Seth said as he slid the keys out of the ignition and opened the door. ``Zimmer told you there'd be some serious competition. If you don't think your muscles can manage it, then just give the word and we'll go to the band venue.''

``Nice try,'' the minotaur sneered. ``But Dirk backs down from no challenge.''

``Please do NOT start referring to yourself in the third person,'' Jason groaned. ``I will smash your face with a cymbal.''

``Try it, pipsqueak, and I'll beat you like a drum.''

Sensing the hostilities were getting a little heated, Zimmer decided to play peacemaker. ``Why don't you guys find someone to valet the van and take our stuff up to our room? I'll take Dirk and sign him up. If I see Saburo, I'll tell him you guys are coming in a moment.''

Seth nodded and Zimmer led Dirk through the throngs of big-bellied beasts he'd be wrestling with in two short days. ``Who's Saburo?'' the minotaur asked as he eyed the veritable feast of overfed sumo flab on display.

``Friend of ours who lives here. He's involved in all sorts of events. Sort of the ``knows who's who'' guy of Vegas. I haven't seen him for awhile, but if you... oh my god, Saburo?!''

Dirk followed Zimmer's stunned gaze across the lobby to where a line of sumos were waiting to sign up at a dinky little table manned by a slender snow leopard. Off to one side stood what Dirk initially thought to be another sumo, but then he saw the black shirt with ``SECURITY/INFORMATION'' printed liberally across it. Beneath that black shirt hung a huge, light-green belly easily as big as some of the ones the sumos were sporting. Saburo looked to be mostly humanoid, with the exception of bright green hair and a flattened dome where one's nose usually went. When he saw Zimmer and Dirk across the room, his eyes lit up and he waddled over to envelope the mantrin in a very warm, squishy hug.

``ZIMMEEEER!'' Saburo said as he lifted the mantrin off their feet. ``Long time no see, bro! You're looking great!''

``Urk... thanks,'' Zimmer wheezed, before patting the zarbon's shoulder. ``Mind lightening up? My spleen's about to eject from my nose.''

``Oh sure,'' Saburo let the mantrin go and took a step back.

``Dude,'' Zimmer panted as he poked his friend's belly. ``What happened there?''

Saburo grinned rather proudly, looking completely unashamed as he rubbed his huge gut. ``Vegas, baby! Partying every night, drinking, eating out. All for free! It does things to you man.''

``So I see,'' the mantrin panted. He looked to Dirk, who was gaping at the massively obese zarbon, and a sneaky thought occurred to him. ``Saburo,'' he said more clearly. ``This is Dirk. Dirk's planning on entering the sumo competition... and he's also quite a fan of hugs.''

The minotaur's ears shot up. But before he could protest, Saburo engulfed the bull in a sweaty hug that made Dirk moo most embarrassingly. Dirk struggled desperately, but Saburo's flabby bulk and plump arms were stronger than they looked and he found he couldn't get any good purchase on them. After a solid thirty seconds of struggling, the zarbon finally relented and let the muscled minotaur slide back to their hooves.

``So you're planning on entering the sumo league?'' Saburo asked. ``Think you got what it takes?''

Dirk immediately flexed, showing off rippling layers of pectorals, abs and biceps. ``Damn right! I'll show these fatties how real wrestling's done!''

Saburo looked unimpressed. ``Funny enough the sort of wrestling I think you're referring too is about as scripted as a broadway play. Sumo stuff is different.'' He pointed out the horse Zimmer had shown Dirk on the ride over. The enormously fat stud was casually waiting in line now, but his bulk seemed to dominate everyone and everything around him. ``Iron Stallion over there is 24-1-0. He only tied one guy because the other fella had about five hundred pounds on him. Not a single one of these guys would give you a second look. You'd be the underdog here, dude. By like six hundred pounds. If you can gain like two more of you in the next two days then maybe you won't be wiped off the face of the earth in a couple bouts. Otherwise, you're dead meat.''

The minotaur's ears flattened and he shook his head while patting Saburo's expansive midriff. ``You seem like a cool guy, Subaru, but I don't lose. I'm gonna crush every single one of these fatasses with one arm tied behind my back.''

Saburo looked to Zimmer, who shrugged and mouthed ``I told you so'' to him.

Sighing, the flabby humanoid nodded and turned to waddle over to the table. ``Well if your heart's set on it, then we'll sign you up. I'll even waive the entry fee.''

``Thanks, bro!''

``Hey, just think of it as the deposit on your ambulance fee,'' Saburo said.

Dirk ignored that and grinned at Zimmer just as Seth and Jason came up to them. ``So what's the news?'' Seth asked. ``Did our dark horse get in?''

``Yep,'' Zimmer said, nodding to Saburo. ``We had a little help too.''

Jason and Seth clapped their fat friend on the back in an exchange of greetings before Saburo allocated a slot, contestant placard, and some passes for the band members. Once everything was sorted, the obese humanoid made plans to meet them all back down in the lobby at eight so they could go to the Onyx to get a feel for it before playing on Friday.

After another round of hugs and good natured teasing, Dirk, Seth, Jason and Zimmer all ventured up to their room to relax and unwind. Zimmer made sure to text Ulysses and let him know what was going on. The older mantrin responded that he was looking forward to it and wished he could be there. Once he'd gotten Ulysses up to date, they all relaxed until it was time to meet Saburo down in the lobby.

When night began to grace the jagged peaks of the Spring Mountains, Dirk, Jason, Seth and Zimmer all donned their best outfits and headed downstairs to meet their ridiculously overfed guide. Zimmer found his zarbon friend had changed into a suit that somehow managed to cover most of his colossal belly while his thick green hair had been done up in a messy bun. Saburo looked to be surrounded by a couple of concerned looking staff of the hotel.

A pudgy badger was holding a clipboard and arguing with the obese zarbon about something. As Zimmer approached, he saw the file had Dirk's name on it. While the rest of the group caught up, the badger continued arguing with Saburo.

``I just can't figure out why for the life of me you'd allow this guy to compete! He weighs less than half of the next smallest contest, he doesn't have an ounce of fat on him and he'll get absolutely smeared across the ring if we let him in!''

Dirk, who'd been puffing up at the first two parts of that sentence, immediately deflated at the last. He stepped up behind the badger, whom he easily eclipsed with his broad figure, and puffed a blast of air into their hair.

``I think you'll find I'm more than capable of handling my own,'' the minotaur grunted. He flexed an impressive bicep in the badger's face.

The staffer looked rather unimpressed as he reached out and took hold of the minotaur's muscle, before turning to shake it at Saburo. ``See what I mean? The doofus is rock solid! He'd be punching those bellies like an idiot and they'd catapult him into the stands.''

Saburo simply shrugged. ``I already promised him a place. I'm not going to back out on my word, Kyle. You know how it is. On every level, Dirk meets the criteria. He might not be fat enough or weigh enough to be a true competitor, but the rules don't stipulate we disqualify him either.''

``Yeah, bro,'' Dirk said as he flexed his pecs against the badger's back. ``I'm built to last. I'll go out there Saturday and make those lardballs wish they'd never paid for three seats on their plane rides out here. Feel me?''

Kyle adopted a look that everyone present was familiar with. A mixture of resignation and annoyance. ``Well, bro,'' he said as he turned to face the bull. ``Maybe you wouldn't mind doing me a favor then, bro.''

``Name it, shortstack.''

The badger turned out of the way and pointed at Saburo. ``I assume you played football?''

Dirk puffed up while Zimmer, Seth and Jason watched curiously. ``Four time MVP for the Varsity Blue Bells-''

``Yeah, I don't care,'' Kyle interrupted. He walked over to where Saburo stood and slapped the zarbon's massive belly, making it jiggle back and forth. ``You know tackling drills, then? Well they're not much different from some standard sumo charges. Saburo here is ex-sumo. He weighs... how much do you weigh?''

``Couple pounds shy of eight hundred,'' the obese zarbon answered, trying to keep a grin from playing on his round face.

``Eight hundred is a bit on the low side,'' Kyle said. ``But it'll do. Dirk, I want you to hit Saburo with your best tackle. Don't hold anything back. Let it all out. Put every single one of those overdeveloped muscles and underdeveloped brain cells into it and try and see if you can move the big guy an inch. Then we'll talk.''

Dirk looked between Saburo and the badger in confusion. Then he turned to Zimmer who he'd sort of begun to rely on to clarify things. The mantrin simply shrugged and held out his hand as if to say, ``Well go on.''

``Alright,'' he muttered, looking at the fat zadron. ``You're good with this?'' Saburo nodded and the minotaur shrugged. ``Well if you guys are willing to pay the hospital bill...''

Taking a couple steps back, Dirk lowered himself into a crouching position while Seth, Jason and Zimmer cleared the way. Saburo looked completely nonchalant as he adopted a slight crouch, with his broad thighs splaying out to either side and his belly bulging toward the minotaur. Snorting a bit, Dirk got himself balanced and then, on Kyle cue, exploded toward Saburo.

Time seemed to slow for everyone as Dirk charged headfirst toward that wall of jiggling lard. Zimmer, Seth and Jason all watched with varying levels of fascination and horror, with Seth making sure to film it so Ulysses could see it too. Kyle and Saburo were the only ones who seemed completely unperturbed as Dirk's hooves rang off the floor.

His curved horns and lowered shoulder slammed into Saburo's stomach first, sending a shockwave through it that made the zarbon slosh violently. The wave traveled over his bowing gut, through his chest and into his plump rear before diminishing. As the energy dissipated, Dirk continued sinking into the center of that belly, his snout, horns, shoulder and upper torso all sinking almost a foot into Subaro's stomach before any resistance was found. Then the zarbon shifted his stance ever so slightly and sucked in a huge breath. Immediately his belly surged outward as it tightened, catapulting Dirk backward to the floor with a high pitched MOO! He collapsed in a heap, looking stunned with everyone standing over him.

Panting softly, the minotaur climbed to his feet and looked around for a second. ``Bro...'' he said slowly. ``That was... AWESOME! You gotta try out for pro football sometime. They could give you the ball and just send you waddling toward the end zone.''

``I tried out actually,'' Saburo said nonchalantly. ``And found out they don't make jerseys big enough.''

Dirk didn't seem to pick up on the sarcasm, because he embraced the lard-laden zarbon and slapped his back. ``Well they're missing out, cuz that was insane! I can't wait to hit more fatties in the ring!''

Saburo looked to Kyle, who was struggling not to crack a smile at Dirk's raw enthusiasm. Even the badger had to admit the minotaur possessed a rather endearing quality of earnestness about him.

``I think he'd play well for the cameras,'' the zarbon said. ``What do you think?''

Kyle shook his head. ``Well, like you said, there's no rules saying he couldn't.'' Extending a hand to the minotaur, the badger grudgingly welcomed him officially into the competition.

Dirk being Dirk naturally turned the handshake into a full on hug that Kyle wasn't terribly keen to accept. After some struggling, the badger finally broke free and bid the Saburo, Dirk and the band members good night. He also promised to come and see them at Club Onyx the next night.

Once he'd departed, Saburo led the way to the lobby's front entrance where a stretch limo awaited them. ``One of the perks of knowing everyone,'' he said loudly, ``is you get to pull some strings. Plus, this is like the only thing save for an eighteen wheeler that would fit my fatass.'' With that, the obese zarbon squeezed into the limo with the others in tow and they hit the strip to go check out Club Onyx.

When they reached the club, Saburo flashed his pass to get them through the VIP entrance where they secured a circular booth fairly close to the DJ table. Saburo, who barely managed to fit his heft behind the table, instead opted to smother a chair kindly provided by a passing waitress. She also took orders for their drinks while the zarbon pointed out the stage and overall setup of the Onyx.

``It's like a big dome,'' he shouted over the pulse of the music.

``What is?'' Zimmer yelled back while Dirk oogled the number of scantily clad dancers twisting around poles and slipping through the crowd. ``Your belly?''

``Haha!'' Saburo replied dryly. ``I'm talking about the stage you'll be playing.'' He nodded to the DJ in the middle of the room, where a 360 degree set up had been created for his table. The DJ - a stylish iguana whose scales would naturally turn the colors of the hundreds of lasers and lights perforating the dance floor - seemed to be turning every which way to engage the crowd. ``It's top of the line. You guys can set it on a slow rotation so you don't have to worry about facing in the wrong direction.''

``That would be nice,'' Seth agreed as he accepted a glowing drink the color of radioactive waste from their waitress and took a sip. ``Drinks aren't bad either.''

Jason, who'd been studying the table closely, nodded in agreement. ``I should be fine if I put up my shields.'' Being the drummer, the aardvark had to contend with Seth's dominating vocal's and Zimmer's guitar. Utilizing giant panes of acrylic sheeting, he could separate his sound from theirs to better complement the music. A rotating set would only complicate the issue as furs would be hearing it from different spots all over the place. Though he doubted they would care much with how drunk most seemed to be getting. Shaking his head, the aardvark took his own drink and sucked it down in a matter of seconds before ordering another.

Dirk, who'd ordered a giant German lager, laughed loudly. ``Careful there, lightweight. You have another one of those and you might pass out.''

Jason stirred his second drink absentmindedly while staring at the burly minotaur. ``Speaking of lightweights,'' he said casually. ``Remind me again who it was that got knocked flat on his ass by Saburo over there? Can you help me out, Dirk? I'm really struggling here.''

Immediately, the minotaur's glare darkened and he grumbled to himself. ``It was a lucky shot,'' he huffed, his ears flapping with embarrassment as everyone snorted. Guzzling down the rest of his beer, Dirk flagged the waitress down for another and drowned his short term woes while Zimmer continued discussing the stage and club with Saburo.

``So just how many clubs do you have special access to,'' the mantrin asked as he sipped at a vodka tonic. Unlike his band mates, he didn't plan on getting completely hammered right off the bat. He wanted to learn more about their venue and then party in it.

Saburo rubbed his colossal belly, which he'd rested on the edge of the table, while nursing a full handle of whisky. ``Pretty much any place I can fit. Growing up here gives you a good idea of who's running what. I made some... well-placed bets on who to befriend over the years and those really blossomed in beautiful relationships. Like take Caesar's for example.''

Zimmer's eyes widened. ``Don't tell me you know the owner of Caesar's.''

Th obese zarbon shook his head and chuckled. ``No, but I DO know the head of security, the gambling commissioner and have a good relationship with their pit bosses. And it's not really about what access I can get so much as the information that passes between them. Like, for example, say Byron was coming to stay in Vegas for a concert.'' (Byron was a world famous old-fashioned rock star roo who had a bit of a reputation for wild parties and lavish spending. His gambling habits made him a fan-favorite for the casinos to vye over.) ``I would waddle my way through Caesar's and have some nice little conversations with all my contacts. We'd share some information - what hangar Bryon is landing in, where he might be wanting to go, what sort of mood he's in, who we send to pick him up, what rooms are available - and then we meticulously plan it all out from there. Within an hour I could have a full itinerary ready for him.''

Saburo grinned as he swigged more of his whiskey and Zimmer drained his drink while listening in fascination. The mantrin looked around to see his friends were slowly getting more and more buzzed. The social barriers were breaking down, especially between Jason and Dirk, who'd found common ground passionately discussing different workouts the aardvark could use to strengthen his wrist for drumming. Seth, being the sly Kincerelan he was, had taken to impressing their waitress with his wit. He seemed to be in the middle of promising backstage passes to their show the following night if she brought him another drink.

Zimmer shook his head as Saburo finished his brief pause. He rubbed his belly which had now begun to slosh audibly with all that alcohol. ``And of course,'' the zarbon continued. ``I'd make similar plans with the Venetian, New York New York, and MGM just to be safe. Then go with the best option.''

The mantrin burst out laughing as he accepted another drink. ``And the casinos are okay with this?''

``In the long run everyone benefits,'' Saburo chuckled. ``And if there's someone no one will ever feel sorry for being cheated, it's a casino.''

``Fair point,'' Zimmer agreed. ``So who'd you talk to to land my skinny butt up on that stage?''

Saburo tapped the side of his non-existent nose. ``Well I did a favor for one of the pit bosses over at MGM and the owner of Club Onyx owed him quite a bit of money, so he asked them politely. Naturally, the owner was a little apprehensive about it, so they took a helicopter tour around the strip together and said pit boss politely asked our owner friend again while dangling him out of the chopper by his heels. He was quite responsive after that.''

Zimmer stared at the massive zarbon for a long moment, his mouth opening and closing as he processed this.

Then Saburo burst out laughing and gave the slender mantrin a punch in the shoulder. ``Just joking, man. I did do a favor for the pit boss at MGM and the owner's a distant relative or something. They were more than happy to sign you guys up when I showed them a video of you playing at that festival last spring.''

The mantrin sighed in relief and shook his head. ``You're gonna give me a heart attack one of these days, fatass. All that blubber you're carrying around is supposed to stress you out, not me.''

Saburo hefted his belly in his hands thoughtfully, before letting it slowly pour down toward the floor in a big, blubbery sag. He patted one of the two watermelon-sized moobs adorning his chest which looked like it was ready to burst out of his parasail of a button down. ``Being this big isn't as bad as you'd think, you know. Lends a lot of confidence to you once you get over the stares. It's like walking around naked. For a little while you feel vulnerable and worry that you're doing something wrong. Then eventually you remind yourself that this is Vegas, home of the freaks and outlaws, and you become too busy with other stuff to worry about it.''

Zimmer watched his friend's stomach bob up and down. Without thinking, he leaned over and planted a slender paw in its epicenter and let all that plush, zarbon lard envelope it until it disappeared. ``I have a brother who would probably love to meet you.''

``Is he a big fella too?''

The mantrin nodded. ``Not as big as you, obviously, but he's well on his way.''

Saburo laughed and slowly hauled himself to his feet. ``Well next time he's headed this way, let me know and we'll have a fatty's night out.''

As if he'd triggered something, the other band members and Dirk all followed Saburo's suit as he sloshed to his feet. Zimmer realized they were all a little wobbly themselves, giggling and bumping one another. He grinned as he felt the warm buzz of his drink beginning to settle at the back of his mind, freeing up his inhibitions and allowing him to fully relax for the first time since they'd gotten in the car.

Allowing Saburo to take the lead, Zimmer and his companions headed down the dance floor where the fat zarbon used imposing heft to clear a space for them to begin dancing to the DJ's beats. For Zimmer, the sensation was quite exhilarating. He wasn't much of a party animal and when it came to drinking, he was a bit of a light weight despite traveling so much with the band. So when a waitress offered him a drink that smelled delicious and very strong, he accepted it happily while bumping hips and bellies with his friends.

The rest of that night only grew continuously rowdier for Zimmer. And he was the most responsible one. Dirk being Dirk naturally went all out, drinking down lager after lager until he was singing along to ``Poker Face'' and spinning around. Eventually he hopped up on one of the poles and, much to the delight of the ladies in the crowd, began stripping. If Zimmer hadn't known better he might've suspected that Dirk had found their new calling.

Seth and Jason were only slightly better, having gotten really into the music and dancing like madmen to it. The Kineceleran could actually pull some cool moves being the singer of their band and he'd managed to get himself invited up on stage beside the DJ. Jason seemed more content to bump around in the sea of waving limbs and gyrating hips.

Zimmer found himself instinctively gravitating toward Saburo because the massive zarbon created a small ring of space around his enormous belly that the mantrin could linger in if he needed space. The two of them exchanged grins and yelled silly things while eagerly accepting drinks from a very attentive waitress. At one point, Zimmer was pretty sure he lost his balance and ended up plowing face first into Saburo's stomach, but neither of them seemed to mind.

After what felt like an eternity of being blasted with different pop hits from the past thirty years, Saburo dutifully began rounding everyone up. He grabbed Dirk off the stage where the minotaur had somehow gotten several hundred dollars stuffed in his pants, then he had a couple of the staff gently point Seth off the stage and Jason toward them. Once they were all gathered in a very drunken and giggly crowd off to one side of the Onyx, Saburo told them they were going to head back to Caesar.

``We don't have to stop partying!'' he yelled, ``but you'll thank me tomorrow when you wake up in a bed instead of a club bathroom.''

Even Dirk, who was looking back longingly at the pole, couldn't deny the zarbon's logic.

So Saburo led the way out of the club where they all piled into the stretch limo and headed back to the hotel. When they got there it was another adventure herding everyone into the elevator (which proved a very tight fit with Saburo in the mix) and went up to their suite.

By the time Zimmer hit a couch in the huge living room area he actually felt ready to go to sleep, but then Seth came out of the kitchen holding some fancy bottle of fifty year old Scotch and poured everyone around. Not wanting to be a party pooper, the mantrin accepted and the party kept going for quite awhile.

After Dirk tried to recreate his stripping on the coffee table, Zimmer lost all memory.

*****

Morning

*****


Various members of the band and co. awoke at different times the following morning. Saburo was first. The obese zarbon jolted awake in the shower, completely naked, with his belly bulging up against the class. Rubbing his eyes, he slowly wobbled to his feet, wrapped the largest robe he could find around himself and padded into the kitchen to make some coffee.

While in there, the zarbon discovered Seth sprawled across the dining table with a marble head cuddled in his arms. The Kinecerelan groaned when Saburo poked his foot, so the zarbon left him to wallow in his own misery while he did a sweep of the rest of the suite. Jason was found on the floor between the coffee table and the couch with a crude tattoo of the band's logo on his bicep. He roused a little quicker than Seth and, upon seeing the tattoo, groaned to himself.

``Welcome to Vegas,'' he muttered to himself as he got up and stretched.

Seth came in from the kitchen with three mugs of coffee and joined the others on the couch. As they sipped their coffees, Saburo broke the news to them.

``I couldn't find Dirk or Zimmer anywhere. Do you guys remember anything from last night?''

``Dirk told me he was going down to the gym to work out,'' Jason recalled. ``That was at like... eight, I think?'' He glanced at his watch which read a quarter to twelve.

``How in the world could he possibly want to work out after a night like that,'' Seth said. ``Just the thought of a treadmill makes me want to hurl.''

``Me too,'' Saburo chuckled as he looked down at the overhang spilling over his legs. ``For different reasons though.''

``Well at least the sumo moo is accounted for,'' Seth continued. ``That leaves Zimmer. Let's see. I remember we came back here, I found that scotch. We toasted, played some sort of party game...''

``Charades,'' Jason continued. ``You tried to be a giraffe, but you kept bleating like a sheep. We stopped doing that because it wasn't working. Someone, I think Dirk, decided we needed a top off. We all went down to the lobby for some food and beer...''

``And we remembered this place had a wicked late night waterpark,'' Saburo went on. ``We messed around in there for like an hour-''

``Best part of the night,'' Seth added while Jason nodded in agreement.

``-And then someone mentioned a rooftop bar,'' the zarbon continued. ``So we headed up there, but then the idiot...'' he paused to let the other know it was him who'd gotten this part confused. ``Realized the bar was at another casino, so we came back here.''

``So where did we lose a tall, skinny, uptight mantrin in all that?'' Seth murmured.

*****

The Hotel Roof

*****


As the casinos slowly quieted down and Vegas came alive with traffic and every day hubbub, Zimmer's eyes shot open. The fine glare of the desert sun peeled back his eyelids and the mantrin moaned as he rubbed his aching temples. Stumbling to his feet, the parched, hungover and very confused mantrin made his way toward the edge of the rooftop where the strip unfolded before him.

``Vegas,'' he sighed, shaking his head. ``What a hell of a city.''

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