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Made with \r\n\t\t\t\t\t
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Taralyn (squirrel) Beatrice (Badger) Midian (Jackalope) (c) \r\n\t\t\t\t\t
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Parfait (not pictured) https://inkbunny.net/submissionview.php?id=986923 (NSFW cub) (c) @ B+K
Thank you guys so much for your comments and favorites or even just looking or reading : )
~~~~~
Midian relaxed on his preferred spot on his couch; amused that this spot hadn't been empty in so long because his roommate was always planted atop it. Fortunately and unfortunately, she was gone for longer than he anticipated; probably a month of solitude awaited Midian.
Credits rolled on his TV as Parfait strolled in from the kitchen; sniffling loudly as her massive beaver tail scraped against his weathered studio carpet. She came in; clutching at her loose pajama pants and groping a bowl of popcorn. Interestingly enough, her loose pajama pants fit her perfectly just a few months ago.
It was concerning to see how much weight she had lost ever since Midian got back from his girlfriend, Taralyn's, house. There was also a terrible mental exhaustion he could detect from her eyes; half-litted and almost swollen from either crying or lack of sleep. Either way, Midian knew something was wrong but he kept his thoughts mostly to himself.
Midian's concern had begun around the time he picked Parfait up from a bank, of all places. She seemed distraught and, when asked what was wrong, demanded that she stay the night with him. "YOU OWE ME!" she roared.
"What have you ever done for me...?" Midian's reply began before Parfait even had a chance to finish the word 'me'.
"GRACED YOU WITH MY PRESENCE?!" Parfait's head awkwardly tilted with each new word uttered.
Midian felt gravity to Parfait's anger -- he could feel honest hate not radiated to him but seemingly directed somewhere else, but yet, he couldn't stop the stupidest half-smirk from besmirching his face; sending Parfait into a frenzy because she already knew he was mocking her accent and speech impediment. "Gwaced you wit my pwescene" she said.
"I'm okay with letting you stay with me," Midian calmly retorted as he half-heartedly defended himself from Parfait's side-fisted arm flailing. "You could've just said 'please' and that would've been fine."
"Fuck that word." Parfait hissed; her sudden tone change was all too obvious even if she tried to hide it with an overdramatic arm crossing movement.
The day was briefly weird as Parfait seemed to gradually sink into some sort of 'hatepression' as Midian put it. Depressed hatred or some shit. He decided it was best to let her sulk in the passenger seat; allowing her to talk whenever she was ready to as they drove about doing his daily chores. Parfait protested but Midian playfully threatened to kick her out of the car if she continued. He was rather surprised when it genuinely shut her up.
To appease Parfait, Midian made an effort to get an extra large pineapple pizza (ew), get some popcorn, and rent the stupidest fucking movies he could think of off the top of his head. Surely this would put a smile on her face. And, for a glorious moment, Midian could swear that Parfait looked adorable (which he so rarely thought he'd think about her) at the visual of her attempting to stay mad while fighting a smile.
A night on his couch with junk food and movies, away from whatever it was that was draining her so much, would do her some good. She seemed happy to hang out with him now (once out of the car) and, for what it was worth, he was having a good time as well; bitterly laughing at the cheesiness of their rentals.
As Parfait plopped on Midian's couch, weirdly close to him, she kept her gaze ahead as Midian obviously stared down at her; their shoulders maybe an inch or two away from each other. Parfait's eyes seemed to be straining forward as she could feel Midian's stare on her.
"Could you stop being a creeper?" Parfait sassed; clutching a fistfull of popcorn and tossing it at his chest daintily.
"It's hard not to seem that way when someone invades your personal space." Midian relaxed; leaning back against the couch cushions.
"Uuugh, fuck you." Parfait scooted away with violent, jerky movements. "Maybe if you weren't so fucking fat, I wouldn't get automatically pulled into your... what the fuck is that called."
"Gravitational pull?" Midian laughed heartily; a little caught off guard as he hadn't heard a fat joke against him in so many years, "I'm surprised you even give a shit about astronomy."
"Finally realizing I'm not as dumb as you think?" Parfait tilted her nose up high; trying to sound educated but coming out as posh.
"Yeah." Midian droned sarcastically; nodding his head slowly. "That must be it." He leaned in and grabbed some popcorn from Parfait's bowl and, amusingly, she tugged it away from him.
"YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH POPCORN," Parfait raspberried at him, "This is mine, get your own."
"Aaaaand then she reverts back to being a child." Midian sighed, not from irritation, but from the feeling of a great pressure being lifted (from her not being as stoic as she was before) even as he waited for the shitstorm his comment had triggered.
And shitstorm he hath triggered as the gates of hell themselves opened and Cerberus spilt out of her mouth. "YOU COCKSUCKER CUNT." she was basically a demon right now but, instead of flaming wings, it was a spray of popcorn that flew everywhere from her lap. "YOU ALREADY KNOW IM THE MOST MATURE OUT OF YOU AND ALL YOUR LIT'L FRIENDS."
"Says the girl who doesn't have her own apartment." Midian watched as his room was trashed with popcorn; a sea of gray and white that he knew she wasn't going to clean up. His stupid, crooked grin plastered on his face as he looked at her with narrow-eyed, sassy condescension. "Or her own income."
"C--!" Parfait's rage was cut short mid sentence. In an almost comedic way, she was left standing with popcorn all around her and this baffled expression that said 'Ow'.
Immediately, Midian felt the guilt explode as he must have said something wrong... again. Oh, piece of shit, thy name is Midian. Of course, since he picked her up from the bank and she was grouchy ever since -- surely all of this had to do with money. Why the fuck did he feel the need to mention 'income'?
Thinking of something stupid off the top of his head, Midian patted Parfait's head in an odd attempt to tear that look of sadness off her face. "Uuuuh..." Midian sighed; preparing for a punch to the gut or something since this is a thing he had never tried before. "...come here." Midian pulled her in; a bit surprised at how she put up no resistance to being dragged into a hug. In fact, she seemed to have even buried her face in his chest.
It was odd. All of this emotional craziness and, in this very moment, the thing that kept popping up in his mind was how funny he thought it was that Parfait kind of smelled like cinnamon. It sort of proved how he never really got so close with her -- and if he did so in the past, he sure didn't think much of it at the time.
"...Midian?" Parfait's muffled voice rose from Midian's chest. How long had they been hugging? 5 minutes? 10 minutes? A month?
"Uh. Yes?"
"Your arse is vibrating." she pulled herself back from the hug; looking up at Midian with a disarmingly chipper smile even through the crap in her eyes.
"Oh!" Midian suddenly shot to life; reaching for his phone and slamming his bottom back on the couch as Parfait rudely peeped at who it was messaging him.
"From Taralyn," it said. Immediately Parfait was back in a dour mood; scooting to the other side of the couch again and 'hmph!'ing up the remote with a forceful swipe.
"Hey babe <3 im lying in the bath right now ^/w/^ but i also got a crazy question for you!" the message read.
Midian awkwardly glanced at Parfait whose eyes were glued to the TV screen; visibly shaking in annoyance. Yikes. He uncomfortable began a reply message; his thumbs very slowly tapping on the letters he needed. "Hey love," he wrote, "Can I see?" he looked at that for a moment and deleted it; feeling very weird about it. He started again. "Hey sweetie. Oh really? What's your question?"
"So, is this what you're gonna do for the rest of the night?" Parfait sighed in aggrivation. "Texting that b--- ... person?"
"Probably not," he sincerely responded; making it a point to not look into her eyes. "She's probably going to spend all night with her friend or whatever anyways. Her text was real flirty -- which means she'll be busy all night."
"Flirty, huh." Parfait muttered under her breath but it was her turn to feel a dose of empathy. "It's ok. I'm sure she just has a lot of stuff to do or something."
"Hopefully." Midian said; astounded by the coldness he heard in his own voice. He looked up at the screen to see a monstrous CG abomination of fast food characters fighting a poorly modeled mongoose that was apparently supposed to be a panda. "What are we even watching...?"
"It's pretty great." Parfait giggled a little; her speech impediment fucking with her word pronounciations once again. "The animation is an abortion but at least the story is also an abortion. I guess what I'm trying to say is... I don't really want kids." her head quickly shot towards Midian. "Mittens. This movie made me realize I don't want children. I can't bring life into a world where this thing exists."
"One, you have a long way to go until that happens. Two, I can't believe you just said that." Midian could already feel his stomach cramping up with how much that made him snicker; both of them convulsing with laughter. "Though, I'm surprised you don't want kids." his voice cracked a little bit as he finally calmed down.
"It'd have to be with a guy that doesn't make me want to puke." Parfait's response was quick and accurate; spoken with far too much sincerity. "I don't think a guy who likes the feeling of a beaver tail on his abs is good for a kid."
"Gross." Midian snickered again. "Hey, Parfait. Hey. Hey."
"What...?"
"You uh... wanna put your tail on my abs?" he laughed; showing her his flat belly.
"Bitch," Parfait's write flipped forward with so much damn sass; causing her to go all cockney. "Yu' noe ah cood annahlate yu wid dis tayull."
Midian's head shot back with uproarious chortling; grabbing his stomach and leaning back into the couch cushion.
"WHAT?!" Parfait barked and perched up like a gargoyle on the corner of the couch; with little bits of popcorn still stuck in her hair.
"Yeah that's what I wanted to ask!" Midian could feel his eyes tearing up. "What the fuck did you just say to me?"
"You know I could annihilate you with this tale!" she forcefully slammed the tail into the couch; sending out a deafening spank and causing a sudden burst of residual white fur from the roommate, Lumina. "AND WHAT THE FUCK, ARE YOU SHEDDING?!"
"That's... Lumina's... fur..." he was having trouble seeing through the moisture in his eyes. That's when his 'arse' buzzed again and he quickly fished the phone out; giving Parfait that irritating 'one moment' finger raise. Parfait plopped back on the couch angrily; her tail bouncing.
Of course, the message was from Taralyn and Midian was very surprised at the length of it; just a huge wall of text.
"Well!" her message started. "Crazy question! But what do you think of Beatrice? You know? My roommate? Not her personality! What she looks like... African badger girl? Yeah? You think she's cute or wha? ; v ; Because she was just having a bad day when you two met and she lashed out a little but I was able to calm her down and tell her that you're actually a really good guy and now she feels bad and she wants to see you again... and I wanna see you again too... and we were thinking of something else. Wanna know what we're thinking about? <333 plz respond back quick! I love you~"
"Huh." Midian's eyebrow rose at the odd message.
"WAS SHE A DUDE THIS WHOLE TIME?" Parfait cupped her hands over her mouth from across the couch; yelling her suspicions.
"No... noo... but that'd be nuts, huh." Midian couldn't take his eyes off of his phone's screen. Intrigued and perplexed as he was, he decided to respond calmly and honestly.
"Well," he started the message in the same way Taralyn started her messages. "I think she's kind of a bitch, in my opinion. She reminds me of the girls from my writing class. Yeah, those girls. But I guess she's attractive or something...? Is that what you wanted to hear? Though, I guess I'm happy that she makes you happy. Where did this question come from, btw? I'm not planning on cheating on you with your friend if that's what you're thinking."
He hit send and, immediately, regretted it; feeling a cold sweat as if he said something wrong.
"You look worried," Parfait droned; in a very reclined position with both feet on the couch crossed over each other. "Did she have AIDs...? Or was it a dick? Or did she have a boyfriend... whose name is Dick? Which one is worse for you?"
Midian ignored that. "Parfait. You, being the mature woman you proport to be, must know the reasoning behind a girlfriend asking a boyfriend about what the boyfriend thinks of one of the girlfriend's friends."
"...excuse me?" Parfait twisted her lip a bit; glaring at him with squinted eyes. "You're starting to talk like a song from The Killers."
"Taralyn is asking me what I think of one of her friends." Midian sighed; his leg shaking a bit and bumping against the carpet rapidly. "Do you think she's scared I'm more intere--" Midian was cut off with the sound of condescending guffaws. "...Okay, let's hear your theory then, oh wise Girl Guru."
"Allllright then, mister!" Parfait cracked her fingers and twirled her head around clockwise. She took a deep breath and... "She's obviously a lesbian." ... spoken in her most posh of voices.
"I... uh..." Midian furrowed his brow; trying to find something to say but all that came out was just another "...huh."
His phone buzzed again, this time, in his hands. He instinctively rushed to see the message and have his curiosities answered, but, was met with a short message. "She's reaaaaaaaaally sorry about being mean T_T" the message read. "And now she knows that you're a really really sweet guy! And you do think she's attractive, right? ; v ; cuz she does look pretty cute right now -- I'm out of the bath so I could take a pic of her if you want <3"
Instantly he typed back "sure", completely unaware as to where this whole thing was going now. He glared at Parfait and she stared back with a wide, cynical smile; bouncing her eyebrows.
"So." Parfait whipped her hair around with her hands; causing bits of popcorn to jettison against the couch and wall. "How many cunts has she licked?"
"Don't be... gross... Faye..." Midian rubbed at his temples. "Would you... like a soda?"
"Oh... sure." Parfait's cynical smirk vanished; replaced with a friendly concern. "Everything... peachy?"
"I think?" he said; getting up and wobbling into the kitchen. Setting his hand upon the refrigerator door, he was startled to feel his phone vibrate again.
Opening up the messenger; he saw a file that had an picture -- yet to be downloaded. It was called 'Beatrice <33' and he already knew what it was so he refused to open it; his heart sinking at the thought of this being some sort of test of loyalty.
"Taralyn," he responded, "I love you with all my heart. I don't want you to think I'm bored of you or anything but I'm... not going to open that file; I'm only interested in you." he took a breath and added another 'I love you' for good measure before sending the message back.
In the same amount of time it took for him to put the phone down and reach for the refrigerator handle again, the phone buzzed. Picking up his phone, it was odd that it buzzed a second time within his grasp. A second text. "I love you too with all my heart and this has nothing to do with me thinking you're bored of me, whaaaa? >w< I'll prove to you that this isn't some sort of trick, babe <3 How about this -- just look at the second file. It'll be okay :) but I hope we can get on Skip later =w=" Taralyn's first message read. The second message seemed to have been another picture file. "
Sighing, his heart racing, Midian decided to do what she said and went to open the second file.