DRUNKERS NEVER LIE...OR DO THEY? by FurryLesbianArmy Cover: Buster appears in an elegant suit and Fifi in a purple evening dress, dancing hand in hand, illuminated by a spotlight in the middle of the school dance. Pg 1 Buster is marking the calendar (grid) with a marker On a calendar date, the rabbit writes down "PROM NIGHT" Buster: Ready! Fifi notes on a calendar (tear-off-pages) Then she puts it on a wall of notes The written paper says "SOIREE DE BAL" Fifi: Perfect! Pg 2 Buster begins to devise his plan to invite someone to prom night. Buster: *think* Now all I have to do is wait to invite… Buster listens as his father (not shown) talks to him, the little rabbit has his eyes closed and a confident smile. Father: Son, do you plan to go to the prom alone? Buster: Dad, I still have enough... Buster makes a surprised and dissatisfied face. Buster: ...time? Buster's calendar is completely marked by crosses Buster notes that the prom is tomorrow night. Buster: How did I waste so much time? Dad: I don't think you'll get a date at this point FLA: The delicate art of time-skipping Pg 3 Fifi does the same as Buster, devising her plan to get someone Fifi: *think* I just have to wait to get the invitation from... Fifi listens to her mother (not shown) speak Mom: My child, I can't believe someone as beautiful as you hasn't been invited yet Fifi: Haha...Mother, I still have 24... Fifi stares back at the wall of notes, stunned. Fifi: Days left? Fifi looks at the note "1 JOUR POUR LA SOIREE DEL BAL" Fifi observes that she no longer has time Fifi: But what happened? Mom: I think you have 24 hours FLA: TIME-SKIP! Pg 4 Buster has his cell phone, he is about to call someone, his hand is shaking Buster: *think* Come on, you asshole! It's simple as 1 2 3! It's just a question? Fifi, it looks like she was about to call someone, although her arm is shaking. Fifi: *thinks* I know it's normal for the gentleman to ask the lady for a date, but maybe I can speed things up if... Buster gives up and gives up Buster: *thinks* I can't! I literally can't! Fifi also gives up and puts her phone away. Fifi: *think* No, I'll look really desperate if I do that Buster walks out into the outside world with his head down. Fifi walks down the street with her head down. Pg 5 Buster starts to think out loud Buster: The person I really want to ask to the dance... Fifi walks and thinks out loud, continuing Buster's conversation. Fifi: ...I don't think he'll accept my invitation if I ask him... Buster continues talking as he walks down the street. Buster: ...I love that person so much that I fear rejection... Fifi continues talking and walking in the other direction. Fifi: ...If I knew he would say yes, I wouldn't be so worried... Both sigh for their loved one Buster: *sigh* Fifi Fifi: *sigh* Buster Pg 6 Buster is flirting with some girls Buster: (voice over) I've flirted with many girls... Fifi seduces some guys with her body Fifi (voiceover) ...and always got compliments from the boys... Buster and Fifi stop in front of each other, they get and act very nervous, they try not to look at each other's eyes, they can't even speak Buster: ...But only she made me feel crushed... Fifi: ...to the point that I couldn't stop thinking about him Buster is about to put cards in Fifi's locker. Buster: I tried to tell her how I felt about her... Fifi tearfully tears up the letter she was going to put in Buster's locker. Fifi: ...but I always chickened out Pg 7 Buster talks to Bugs about this. Buster: (voiceover) I have received help from a teacher about my problem... Bugs: Problems with a girl you don't know if you like her? * think * Hehe, it's like seeing myself reflected in a mirror Fifi does the same, but she talks with Penelope. Fifi: (voiceover) ...But saying it is easy, doing it is difficult Penelope: Problems with a rabbit you have a crush? * think * Girl, you arrived with the right person Buster goes into shock and stops walking. Buster: Wait! Prom might be my last chance... Fifi panics and trembles. Fifi: ...After that, maybe I won't see him again, I have to tell him tonight yes or yes Buster sees a liquor store, where it says non-alcoholic beer. Buster: EUREKA! Fifi finds a perfume store that he sells, beer-scented fragrance Fifi: EUREKA! Pg 8 Buster devises his plan Buster: I can pretend to be drunk and tell Fifi what I feel, drunk people don't lie... Fifi also devises her plan Fifi: ...besides, if Buster tells me no, I'll just play the role that I didn't know what I was doing Buster buys some bottles of non-alcoholic beer. Buster: Those acting courses will come in handy, Buster will think I'm too drunk. And what better for a man than a drunken beautiful lady Fifi buys the fragrance Fifi: It's the perfect plan, and I can imitate a drunk, Fifi will believe everything. I know my plan won't fail, since when have Buster Bunny's plans gone wrong? Buster and Fifi break the 4th wall and point to each other's speech bubble. Buster: Hey! I was supposed to say that! Fifi: Who is in charge of this episode? FLA: Script! Buster and Fifi: WHO THE FUCK IS IN CHARGE OF THIS SCRIPT?!?! Pg 9 It's prom night, everyone arrives in pairs (Furball and Sweetie Pie, Calamity and Little Beeper, Pluckie and Hampton, Babs and Sheila) The classic Looney Tunes are gathered in one part of the room The same goes for Tiny Toons students. After a while, the men are standing on one side of the room. FLA: Wow, this dance seems to be fun, except for one small detail. Women from the other side, no character tries to break the ice FLA: Nobody dances Pg 10 Dizzy decides to break the ice and decides to make a whirlwind in the center of the dance floor The demon ends up doing the mystical John Travolta pose, he's even dressed the same Dizzy: Dizzy dancing! Everyone starts to approach the dance, first Tiny Toons Then the Looney Tunes join the party After a while, the dance is a blast, but there are 2 little people who don't dance, they just enjoy each other's company, Bugs and Penelope...(no, we won't rush the process) with the cat resting her head on the shoulder of her husband Pg 11 Penelope points her finger in two different directions Penelope: Bugsy, 10 o'clock and 2 o'clock, look. Bugs: Looks like we're not the only ones standing still. Buster is completely cut off from the party Fifi is also far from the party Bugs and Penelope part ways to talk to their students, neglecting the bowl of punch. Max pours something liquid into the punch Max: Let's spice up this party! Pg 12 Buster looks directly at Fifi (without her noticing) away from the party Buster has a bottle of non-alcoholic beer Buster: Will she say yes to me? Fifi looks directly at Buster (without him noticing) away from the party Fifi has the fragrance of beer on her hands Fifi: Will it work? Buster drinks directly from the bottle, Fifi sprays the perfume on her body Buster: Swim or sink Fifi: Who does not risk, does not win Pg 13 Max calls everyone to drink Max: WHERE'S THE FUCKING PUNCHLINE? FLA: Right here! Everyone starts to drink the punch, first the students The Looney Tunes follow Shirley offers Babs punch, but she doesn't want it. Shirley: Stop being paranoid! Babs: I know what they do in the movies, I won't drink anything! As time goes by, whatever Max has thrown in the punch is kicking in, a lot of girls are dizzy. Girl1: What's going on? Girl2: I think I'm flying Girl3: I can't walk straight Girl4: Dizzy Dizzy DIZZY!!! Pg 14 The party moves on, all the girls pounce on Dizzy Dizzy: What? AH Go away! Dizzy no hugs! Buster also sprays alcohol on his clothes, to hide the smell. Buster: I must smell like a Molotov cocktail exploded nearby. Pluckie, Shirley and Hampton are drunk Pluckie: How I love you guys. Hampton: I feel like I want to throw up. Shirley: Do you know what I want? Fifi also puts the aroma in her mouth, she is really desperate Fifi: I hope it's not toxic Furball and Calamity are drunk barely holding each other Furball: Hey, if I travel to Japan on December 31st and arrive a day later, I mean next year and come back here, do I arrive a day earlier? I mean, do I go back a year? I'll explain, if I... Pg 15 Buster hears Fifi's voice, which freaks him out. ?: Bonne nuit, Buster! Buster: AAAAAH! Buster turns around, but it's Penelope who imitated Fifi's voice. Buster: Vice Principal? What are you doing? Penelope: Just bothering a rabbit in love with a French girl You can see how several Looney Tunes are being affected by what Max put in the punch. Daffy: I can see sounds! Tina: I don't know what are you talking but I see you're right when you're wrong Melissa: I can't feel my face, and I say OOOOOOOH! Fifi hears Buster's voice, causing her to panic. ?: Hey, Fifi! Fifi: Merde! Fifi turns around, but it's Bugs imitating Buster's voice. Fifi: Principal Bugs, that's not funny. Bugs: Blame the vice principal, she asked me to do it. Pg 16 Buster gets mad at Penelope who walks away like nothing happened. Buster: How do you know about...? Penelope: Do you think my husband would keep a secret as racy as this from me? Buster: Good point Fifi gets mad at Bugs, he walks away too after teasing her. Fifi: But, she said that... Bugs: Do you really believe the phrase: "Your secret will not get out of here"? Fifi: Well yes...a little Bugs and Penelope get together just to laugh at their students. Bugs: And how is Owen Wilson doing on his Midnight in Paris? Penelope: More scared than ever. And what about Madame Toulouse Lautrec? Bugs: She's about To-lose da-hare Bugs and Penelope raise a toast with glasses full of...you guessed it, punch a la Max Montana. Penelope: We should tell them about each other's feelings. Bugs: What? And ruin the plot? Bugs and Penelope: Cheers! Bugs and Penelope drink all the punch, both give us the middle finger FLA: You know this won't end well when these 2 join the rampage Bugs and Penelope: F.U. F.L.A!