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If you wanted to play Mario, you bought a Nintendo system. If you wanted to play Sonic, you bought one of Sega's consoles. And if you wanted to play a Sony game, too bad, they didn't have a console yet. You'd have to settle for one of their crappy movie-licensed titles like Hudson Hawk... a movie that didn't deserve its own movie, let alone its own video game.\n\nOccasionally, someone would foolishly try to \"cross the streams\" and bring a style of gameplay to a system not known for it, generally with lackluster results. The Super NES had some Looney Tunes games with Speedy Gonzales doing his best needlemouse impersonation and the Roadrunner providing a blue blur in Sonic's absence. Neither were very good. On the Sega Genesis side of the fence, you had Kid Chameleon, which offered the basic framework of a Super Mario Bros. game with the attitude that made Sega stand out from the competition. I mean sure, the charm and the tight control and the inviting level design and the endearing characters were all gone, but who needs that crap when your game is EXXXTREME, with three X's?\n\nI made the mistake of buying Kid Chameleon in 1992, most likely because I was jonesing for some Super Mario Bros. action and this was the closest I could get to it after selling my NES to buy a Genesis the year before. Honestly, I should have stuck with Sonic... Kid Chameleon is similar to Super Mario Bros. 3 on paper, but in practice, it's a meandering slog. The omni-directional scrolling stages feel endless, and they're connected by a confusing network of flags, transporters, and hidden warps, which may leave you running in circles rather than steadily progressing to the end of the game. Power ups are cooler than the ones in Super Mario Bros. 3... rather than donning raccoon tails, tanuki pajamas, and oversized boots, you become axe murderers, samurai, and German tank pilots. Unfortunately, at the same time, these abilities aren't practical or versatile. The only thing the knight form seems to do is make KC heavier, crushing blocks beneath him and making the already dicey platforming even more frustrating.\n\nThe enemy designs also kind of stink. Unlike Super Mario Bros., they lean more toward the threatening and realistic, but they're also kind of idiotic, with small dragons, tanks made of rock piles, and orca heads with limbs attached that remind me of Darwin from the Gumball cartoon series. They take orders from a boss who looks like a cross between an idol from a lost civilization and Rudy Giuliani at a press conference... bug-eyed, bald, sweaty, and on the verge of melting into a puddle. The last boss is named Plethora, basically eight of these gold Giuliani heads squashed together. You kill him by bouncing on his head a few dozen times, with little indication that you're actually harming him. It's confusing and underwhelming, but at least it's consistent with the rest of the game.\n\nIt's no longer a pressing issue now that Sega has gone third party and practically everyone owns Nintendo's latest console, but I guess the moral of the story is that if you've got a hunger for a particular style of gameplay, don't settle for imitators. Even imitators who present themselves as \"cooler\" than the real thing. They're not. It's a con, and the guy who made them will go on to make MORE cheap imitations, like a thinner Tasmanian Devil who rips off both Sonic and Mario at the same time. Yes, I'm talking to you, Cerny. Take out a loan and buy an original idea for once.", "description_bbcode_parsed": "Today, everything plays everything, but back in the far-flung year of 1992, your options were much more limited. If you wanted to play Mario, you bought a Nintendo system. If you wanted to play Sonic, you bought one of Sega's consoles. And if you wanted to play a Sony game, too bad, they didn't have a console yet. You'd have to settle for one of their crappy movie-licensed titles like Hudson Hawk... a movie that didn't deserve its own movie, let alone its own video game.

Occasionally, someone would foolishly try to "cross the streams" and bring a style of gameplay to a system not known for it, generally with lackluster results. The Super NES had some Looney Tunes games with Speedy Gonzales doing his best needlemouse impersonation and the Roadrunner providing a blue blur in Sonic's absence. Neither were very good. On the Sega Genesis side of the fence, you had Kid Chameleon, which offered the basic framework of a Super Mario Bros. game with the attitude that made Sega stand out from the competition. I mean sure, the charm and the tight control and the inviting level design and the endearing characters were all gone, but who needs that crap when your game is EXXXTREME, with three X's?

I made the mistake of buying Kid Chameleon in 1992, most likely because I was jonesing for some Super Mario Bros. action and this was the closest I could get to it after selling my NES to buy a Genesis the year before. Honestly, I should have stuck with Sonic... Kid Chameleon is similar to Super Mario Bros. 3 on paper, but in practice, it's a meandering slog. The omni-directional scrolling stages feel endless, and they're connected by a confusing network of flags, transporters, and hidden warps, which may leave you running in circles rather than steadily progressing to the end of the game. Power ups are cooler than the ones in Super Mario Bros. 3... rather than donning raccoon tails, tanuki pajamas, and oversized boots, you become axe murderers, samurai, and German tank pilots. Unfortunately, at the same time, these abilities aren't practical or versatile. The only thing the knight form seems to do is make KC heavier, crushing blocks beneath him and making the already dicey platforming even more frustrating.

The enemy designs also kind of stink. Unlike Super Mario Bros., they lean more toward the threatening and realistic, but they're also kind of idiotic, with small dragons, tanks made of rock piles, and orca heads with limbs attached that remind me of Darwin from the Gumball cartoon series. They take orders from a boss who looks like a cross between an idol from a lost civilization and Rudy Giuliani at a press conference... bug-eyed, bald, sweaty, and on the verge of melting into a puddle. The last boss is named Plethora, basically eight of these gold Giuliani heads squashed together. You kill him by bouncing on his head a few dozen times, with little indication that you're actually harming him. It's confusing and underwhelming, but at least it's consistent with the rest of the game.

It's no longer a pressing issue now that Sega has gone third party and practically everyone owns Nintendo's latest console, but I guess the moral of the story is that if you've got a hunger for a particular style of gameplay, don't settle for imitators. Even imitators who present themselves as "cooler" than the real thing. They're not. It's a con, and the guy who made them will go on to make MORE cheap imitations, like a thinner Tasmanian Devil who rips off both Sonic and Mario at the same time. Yes, I'm talking to you, Cerny. Take out a loan and buy an original idea for once.", "writing": "", "writing_bbcode_parsed": "", "pools_count": 0, "title": "Bummer! I'm Not The Plumber!", "deleted": "f", "public": "t", "mimetype": "image/png", "pagecount": "1", "rating_id": "0", "rating_name": "General", "ratings": [], "submission_type_id": "1", "type_name": "Picture/Pinup", "guest_block": "f", "friends_only": "f", "comments_count": "7", "views": "139" }