The old door slid open, soft footsteps entered the room, a single candle lighting his way as he made his way over toward the tree that had been growing in the room for as long as he could remember. While growing up, he remembered having fun in this room, surrounded by his family. If he closed his eyes, he could still hear the sounds that had once filled this dojo. Metal against metal as his brothers fought, practiced, so they could be better, so they could make sure this precious family never fell apart. Soon their voices started floating around him as well, and he couldn’t help but smile as he ‘listened’ to them. 

“Ya think you can beat me that easily? Come on Fearless, you’ll have to try harder than that!” 

“The point of this training is to anticipate when I am going to attack, not goading me into attacking you so you expect it coming,” 

“Blah blah blah, I don’t need to know when something’s attacking, I just hit things before they hit me!” 

More sounds of fighting, and he smiled wider. His two oldest brothers, the two that always fought the most, because they were the only ones that could ever push each other further, it was why their fights were so serious at times, both of them had had a different weight to carry. One the leader, the one who made all the calls, and had his brothers lives on his shoulders, if something went wrong, it was his fault. 

And one the protector, if something happened to his brothers, younger or older, he would never forgive himself. They had been a perfect balance for each other. 

“I don’t understand why we have to be here, while those two prove yet again that they’re the best,” 

The voice of his last brother came to him, and he smiled a little wider. “Because it’s just what they do, dude,” he replied, almost as naturally as if his brothers were actually here with him. As if his family wasn’t long broken. 

“Yame!” 

This voice was by far the most painful to ‘hear’, and had the small turtle opening his eyes to look at the single grave marker stuck in the ground at the base of the tree. 

“Good morning, father. I know it’s been a couple days since I’ve come in here, but you know me, I still lose focus to easily,” Michelangelo said, a small smile tugging at his lips, but it never reached his eyes. Even his widest smiles never quite reached his eyes any more, but it was something that Mikey never noticed. 

“So, the power’s still out,” Mikey said, setting the candle down on the ground as he knelt in front of the tree. “So, I guess that means training is canceled again today, can’t really train in the dark,” Mikey said. 

“Shadows are a ninja’s friend, we will continue practicing on your stealth Michelangelo!” The small turtle said, trying to imitate Splinter's voice. 

“Aww, but I’m stealthy enough already! I mean… we’ve been working on this for over a year,” Mikey pouted, his eyes never leaving the grave marker in front of him. 

“Your brothers are working hard, and you must focus, Michelangelo,” Mikey continued speaking to himself. Letting out a dramatic sigh, he bowed. 

“Hai, sensei,” he said, before blowing out the candle. 

Mikey spent the next four hours in practice, trying to copy his father's voice to give himself encouragement, or a reprimand if he thought he had been losing focus again. It was how he had spent each morning for the past three years, since his brothers had left. He had been working on his ‘stealth’ since the power had gone out in the Lair. Mikey had tried to fix it once, and he was fairly sure that he had only made things worse. 

“This is why you shouldn’t touch things, Mikey!” Donnie’s mental voice had scolded him. 

“You break everything ya touch!” Even Raph’s mental voice hadn’t been happy with him. 

“Don’t worry Mikey, Donnie will fix it, eventually, for now let’s just go and gather extra candles, we’ll use those for now,” Leo’s voice had been the only comforting one. 

Mikey had wondered more than once if he was going insane, his ‘brothers’ had had a few things to say about that too, ranging from ‘you’ve always been insane, why start worrying about it now’, to ‘insanity prevents normal perception, behavior, and social interaction, considering you’ve always been like this, I would say you are still acting pretty normal and shouldn’t worry about being insane’. 

To sum it up, whether he was sane or not, Mikey decided that he shouldn’t worry about it, because there was no one around that could call him out on it anyway. 

Searching around for the match, Mikey relit the candle. “You did well today,” Mikey smiled at the praise from his ‘father’.

“Does this mean I’m off the hook for tomorrow?” Mikey asked hopefully. 

“Michelangelo,” he let out a small sigh. 

“I don’t want to just goof off, I mean, I had plans for tomorrow, we’re running low on matches, and candles, and I need to stock up on food supplies again,” Mikey said quickly. 

“Very well, but do not stay out too late!” he told himself sternly, picking up the candle he hummed to himself and left the dojo, sliding the door closed behind him. A cold chill ran through the Lair and Mikey shuddered. 

“Winter is coming,” he whispered to himself, and was unable to stop the giggle that escaped him. “Well, since it’s getting colder, and there’s really nothing more I can do today, maybe I’ll make my trip to the junkyard a bit earlier. Better to be prepared, just in case we get snowed in!” Mikey said, bringing his candle with him down the hall toward his room, he opened the door and dug around for the scarf that he had managed to salvage for himself, not that a single scarf did any good for him against the cold. 

He had learned that last winter, or rather he had learned that when he had fallen asleep sometime in mid November, only to wake up in early April. The last thing Mikey wanted was another repeat of his unexpected hibernation. 

“Still better than nothing,” Mikey said. “Maybe I should look for a coat, and some thick blankets, a space heater would be nice,” Mikey said. “Hey D, when are you going to fix this power?” there was no answer, not even one from his imaginary brother, and Mikey shuddered. Wrapping the scarf around his neck, he went back to the main part of the Lair, grabbing the empty shoulder bags that he had salvaged a while ago, slinging them over his shoulder Mikey blew the candle out and left the Lair. 

“I’ll be back soon!” He called to no one, running away from the silence that followed him. 

-----------x

It was in the early hours of the morning, and the air had grown cold, Mikey could see little white puffs in front of him as he breathed. Pulling himself through the junk piles, digging around for things that he would find useful, and grabbing a few random things here and there that looked interesting. “I bet Donnie would be able to do something amazing with this,” Mikey said, picking up what looked like broken parts to an old computer. 

He managed to find other things too, things that his brothers would never use, but it was the thought that counted, and so Mikey would drag things home with him. A set of boxing gloves for Raph, computer parts for Donnie, books for Leo. Everything cleaned up, and placed in his brothers rooms, or in Donnie’s case, in his lab. 

Once he had one bag filled with things for his brothers, Mikey started hunting for the things he would actually need, looking for blankets that weren’t to old and ratty looking, and preferably didn’t smell to bad either. 

Once his own bag was filled with things he would actually need, Mikey hurried on to his next stop for the evening. The dumpster behind a store, that’s only purpose was to sell candles, though Mikey didn’t always like the smell of most of the candles, he put up with them, because it was better than sitting alone in the dark of the Lair all the time. 

Opening another bag, Mikey started filling it with candles, being careful of the one’s in jars that had broken glass. Breaking the glass further and taking the candle from inside, he grabbed plenty that would last him for a good month or so. He was just getting ready to pull himself out of the dumpster when he heard an all too familiar sound. 

“Help! Someone please he-” the cries for help were cut off abruptly, and Mikey cringed. Removing the bags from his shoulders, he peeked out of the dumpster, there standing just a few feet away from his hiding place was a small group of purple dragons. 

“Just my night,” Mikey sighed, removing a ninja star from his belt, he opened the lid as little as possible, and threw the star at the only light illuminating the ally. 

“What the,” came the confused voices of the wanna-be thugs. 

“Aw shit,” came another one, who seemed to have guessed what was about to happen. “Come out you freaks!” One of them shouted, backing up, and the person who had been crying for help slowly inched their way to the exit of the alley before running. The innocent now out of harm's way, Mikey chose that moment to burst from the dumpster, taking down the purple dragon closest to him. 

He moved quickly and quietly, hardly making a sound as he took down one purple dragon after another. “You guys really should just give up on this whole crime life you’ve got going,” Mikey said, looking down at the four bodies lying on the ground. His only response was a small groan, shaking his head Mikey turned back to the dumpster, intending to grab his bags and head home. 

Movement out of the corner of his eye was the only indication that Mikey had that he had to move, only seconds later a shot rang out, echoing off the walls in the alley as Mikey managed to dodge, but not before the bullet skinned his leg. Gritting his teeth together in order to stop himself from crying out, Mikey pulled out his kusarigama, the chain wrapped around his attackers hand, and one swift jerk on the chain had the man dropping the gun. 

“You shouldn’t be playing with dangerous toys like this,” Mikey said, picking the gun up. Tucking it into his belt, not willing to leave it where these creeps would just pick it up and use it on someone else again. Pulling his chain away, Mikey put his kusarigama back in his belt, limping to the dumpster and grabbing his bags. Though he kept half an eye on the purple dragons still laying on the ground, making sure none of them were going to try and get a lucky shot on him again. 

Mikey waited until he was far enough away from the alley, and sure that no one was following him, before he stopped long enough to wrap a bandage around his leg, and then made his way home. He took the long way around tonight, even though he wasn’t to thrilled about the chilly night air, he was less thrilled about the idea of going home at the moment. Out here he felt more alive, more like himself than he did back home, but he wasn’t able to come out very often any more, it was to dangerous. Even with the Kraang gone, and the Foot no longer in the city, there was still the possibility of danger, and Mikey knew that if anything happened to him, there was no one that would be coming for him. 

So he remained out until the sun was starting to rise in the distance, and knowing better than to stay out when the sun was up, Mikey made his way down to the nearest manhole cover, slipping back into the sewers. The sound of the cover falling back had Mikey sighing, making sure his bags were still with him and he still had everything he had gathered at the dump, Mikey made his way back to the Lair. 

The closer he got to his home, the more he could already hear his imaginary brothers voices. “Mikey! We were worried about you!” 

“That’s a lie,” Mikey mumbled miserably. 

“Knucklehead! What were ya thinkin’! Stayin’ out all night!” 

“I don’t like being home Raph,” Mikey replied. 

“What would happen if you were caught?” 

“I’d probably end up dead,” Mikey huffed. “What’s it matter anymore anyway… none of you are here, none of you care!” Mikey felt the misery he kept bottled up start to boil to the surface, he had come close to breaking down before, but he managed to push it down each time. 

“We worry about you, Mikey,” 

The orange banded turtle shook his head. “No, you really don’t, if you cared about me, you all would be home by now,” Mikey said, “I wouldn’t have gone into hibernation last year, and woken up terrified about what happened, I wouldn't be in danger of going into hibernation again this year if Donnie was here to fix the stupid lights, I wouldn’t have to gather all this stupid junk for you guys, because you could do it yourself… and most of all, I wouldn’t be talking to myself!” Mikey’s yell echoed off the pipes in the sewers and he froze, baby blue eyes wide. He had said it, he had admitted it, and now a new fear started creeping into him. 

“... guys…?” Mikey asked tentatively, straining his hearing, not that it ever did any good since he had never truly heard them. “Come on, I was… I was only joking, you know me, Dr. Prankenstein strikes again!” Mikey said, forcing a laugh out. 

“Donnie?” Mikey called softly, seeking the comforting words of his best friend, the scurrying noise of rats, or the soft dripping of water was all he heard. “Raph?” His protector, the one who got angry the easiest, but would never leave Mikey alone if he was truly scared. Again, nothing but the normal quiet sounds of the sewers. “L-Leo…?” Mikey stuttered, already knowing that silence would once again be his answer. 

Nodding to himself, Mikey forced himself to walk home, each step closer was a new kind of agony, his chest hurt, his throat was painfully tight. He was not meant to be alone like this, the voices had been what kept him going, the hope that he wasn’t truly alone, and that his brothers would be walking back through that door, Raph and Leo fighting like usual, and Donnie mumbling to himself about his latest project, or invention. But the reality of it was starting to crack through the fantasy world that Mikey had built for himself, he was alone, his father was dead, his brothers had left him. 

And the worst of it was, Mikey didn’t even blame them for it. He was hurt, and perhaps a bit angry, but he knew that none of them had left him alone on purpose. Leo having been the first to leave, wanting to travel to Japan, they all had the option to go as well, but in the end Leo was the only one who had gone. Donnie and Raph had been next to leave, and even now Mikey wasn’t sure who had left first. Donnie had left a note explaining that he was going to California with April, there was a computer school out there, and while Donnie couldn’t actually attend himself, he could attend the classes via April. 

As for Raph, Mikey was sure that his hot headed brother had taken Casey up on that offer to travel the US for a while, anything to get away from the city, anything to escape the suffocating pressure in the Lair. And Mikey, he just waited, his Tphone having been busted within the first week of him having the lair all to himself, Mikey had lost all contact with his brothers, except for the memory of their voices. And now, even that was gone. 

------------x

Something wasn’t right, he knew that as soon as he saw the entrance to the Lair, he didn’t need to be a super stealthy ninja to know that there was an intruder in his home. The small flickering light was indication enough of that, because Mikey had learned the hard way to never leave a candle burning, especially if you intended to go out for the night. 

Putting his bags down behind some nearby pipes, where they would be hidden and out of the way, and then using all the skills he had, Mikey slowly stuck closer to the entrance to his home. He could hear muffled voices, meaning two, or three intruders, pulling out a ninja star, Mikey peeked around the corner, wondering if he could catch a glimpse of who was in his home. 

He didn’t see anyone at first, but he did see the candle sitting on the coffee table, in a place he had most definitely not left it. Because that was rule number two, always leave the candles in the same spot, it made them easier to find when he needed them. 

Blue eyes scanned the room slowly, looking for any signs of the intruders, he still didn’t see them, but he could definitely hear them. Moving a bit further into the doorway, he saw the door to Donnie’s lab was open, and Mikey’s eyes narrowed in anger, how dare these people come into his home, and disturb his brother’s sanctuary. Eyes flickering away from the door, Mikey looked again at the candle before using the same trick he had used on the purple dragons, shooting his ninja star at the candle he watched the flame go out. 

There was more light coming from Donnie’s lab though, so he hadn’t put the intruders in complete darkness, something he would rectify soon. Keeping to the shadows, Mikey followed the sound of the voices, though he didn’t pay much attention to what they were saying. As he neared the door, he heard movement. 

“The candle in the living room went out,” someone said, and Mikey pressed himself back against the wall right next to the door, sensing someone moving this way. 

“It probably just blew out, this place is a lot more drafty than I remember,” the second voice said as they neared the door, they had just stepped out and Mikey took his moment to pounce on the intruder, tackling them to the floor. Hearing them cry out in surprise and pain as Mikey pinned them, the blade of his kusarigama raised and ready to strike. 

“Donnie!” the voice of the person inside the lab yelled, a moment later they too were in the living room, a flashlight shining on Mikey, and the olive green turtle he had pinned to the floor. 

“Mikey?” The taller turtle stared in surprise, and Mikey blinked, equally surprised to see that it was one of his brothers that he was pinning down. 

“D…?” Mikey asked, jerking away as if he had been burned. He looked from Donnie toward the person holding the flashlight, and back again. “This… no, not this isn’t real, I’m dreaming,” Mikey said, continuing to back up. 

“Mikey, what happened here?” Donnie asked, accepting the help from the person still holding the flashlight. Mikey however didn’t answer, he backed up further, his eyes focused on Donnie, this is what he had wanted, he wanted his brothers to come home, he didn’t want to be alone any more. 

“Or maybe you’ve finally just lost your mind,” Raph’s mental voice echoed inside Mikey’s head, the small turtle couldn’t help but smile, happy that his imaginary brothers hadn’t actually left him like he had thought. 

“Mikey?” Donnie asked, looking more concerned as he studied his only baby brother. He moved forward, and Mikey reacted quickly, jumping back, his hands going instantly to his nunchucks. 

“Who are you?” Mikey asked, narrowing his eyes. “You can’t be my brother,” Mikey said, finally deciding that this must be some sort of trap. 

“What are you talking about? Of course it’s me,” Donnie said, moving to step closer but stopped as Mikey started swinging his nunchucks warningly. 

“My brother left, he’s out in California,” Mikey said. 

“I was out there, but I came back,” Donnie tried to explain. 

“No way dude, my brother wouldn’t have come back until he learned everything he possibly could, and I may not be as smart as him, but doesn’t college last more than three years?” Mikey raised an eye ridge at him. 

“Normally yes,” the unknown person holding the light said, stepping forward. “But Donnie finished it, he did extra work, and was ahead in all his classes.” 

“And who are you?” Mikey asked, glaring at the light. The flashlight moved and the person shown the light on their own face. “...April?” Mikey asked, frowning as he slowly stopped spinning his nunchaku around. Over the last three years, the only voices Mikey had ever heard were those of his family, his father, and brothers. Never once had he heard April, or even Casey. 

Shifting his gaze back towards where Donnie stood, Mikey studied the olive green turtle. “Are… you’re really here, right?” Mikey asked, his voice cracking from the sudden buildup of emotions. 

“Yeah, I’m really here, Mikey,” Donnie said, slowly stepping forward, still aware of the fact that Mikey had his weapon out. “Mikey, what happened?” Donnie asked again. 

“I… I broke the generator…” Mikey said, “well, I don’t think I broke it originally, the lights went out one day and… well I tried to fix it, but I think I made it worse,” Mikey admitted. 

“That’s okay, if it’s not a simple fix, I can just get another,” Donnie said, now standing in front of his little brother. Mikey shifted under the intense gaze Donnie was giving him, he knew his brother was checking him over, and Mikey also knew what DOnnie would find, even in the dim light it would be easy to see that Mikey had lost weight, not a lot to be too alarming, but all his ‘baby fat’ was gone. And Mikey also knew there were a few extra scars on his body that hadn’t been there the last time Donnie had seen him. 

“Mikey, your leg is bleeding,” Donnie said, and Mikey blinked looking down at his leg. 

“Oh yeah, forgot about that,” Mikey said as he looked at his quickly bandaged leg. “It’s just a scratch, nothing serious,” Mikey shrugged it off. 

“Let’s go change the bandages at least,” Donnie said, reaching out to take Mikey’s hand and lead him into the lab. Mikey only allowed himself to be led along for a few steps when he suddenly pulled his hand away from Donnie, almost violently. 

“I can do it myself!” Mikey snapped. 

“Mikey, you’re hurt, I just want-”

“No! You can’t come back here and start babying me again as if nothing has changed! Because guess what, everything has changed!” Mikey said, not sure where all this anger was coming from all of a sudden, but he couldn’t help it. Donnie had left him, that was something Mikey had always expected Raph and Leo to do, because that’s just how they worked, and they would come back eventually. But not Donnie, that was not how his best friend worked. 

“I’m not trying to baby you…” Donnie said, “I just want to change the bandage, and look at the cut myself-”

“I told you I was fine, just leave it alone,” Mikey said, turning away from his brother and heading toward the dojo, he paused half way across the room before looking back at Donnie. “Oh, welcome home,” Mikey said and vanished from sight leaving a very confused Donnie and April standing there. 

TBC
.