Chapter 1: The adventure begins

"Holy mother of niggerdick!" Simon screamed. "This is the best fucking videogame I ever laid my cock on!"
Simon and his best friend Loune were playing Call of Booty: Black Cops on his shitstained couch. They lived in the city of cuntsburg, and had nothing to do but play video games.
"I'm fucking bored of video games! Let's throw some chimpanzees into meat grinders and fuck their innards like a hyena." Loune told his friend. Simon scoffed.
"Where the shitbitch are we going to get a chimpanzee?" The rat snapped. "Plus I broke my meat grinder last weekend. Stupid thing runs on iOS and can't support elephant balls." Loune let out a sigh that sounded like a walrus giving shitbirth to a fucking rhinocerous. 
"Well, we can't sit here and play games all day. My dick gets sore after too much Halo 5: Soul Silver Edition: Director's cut: limited Edition 2"
"Well it beats the hell out of going outside and being imaginative. Fuck that shit, I'd rather be a wetback's dick."
Simon stood up and shut off his Xbox One. "Let's turn on some NiGHTS hentai and fap our dicks raw. That'll make things interesting."
"No way, I get to fuck your ass, like a mildly upset cow on cocaine." Loune said, grabbing his fat bat dick and shoving it up Simon's fucktunnel.
"Ouch you fucking cunt-nigger, you didn't even spit on it." A tear rolled down his cheek as Loune plowed his asshole faster than a jackrabbit on speed. "I guess this makes up for raping you while you were cooking jockstrap stew. I'm sorry about that."
"Shut up you cuntsmear. I'm gonna nut in your fucking earhole." Loune pulled his dick out of Simon's gapped asshole and stuck it in his ear, smearing greasy precum all over his earrings. 
"GAH FUCK!" The bat screamed as he blew a stinky load in Simon's ear. Simon cried as his skull was fucked.
"Stop... Keep stopping..." The rat moaned as he came all over the shit green couch. "That was better than my Jack Nicholson/Sonya Blade fanfiction wet dream!"
Loune rolled over and pulled his dick out of Simon's ear. "Now let's go on some kind of gay ass fucking adventure. I already nutted in your ear and I'm bored of sex."
"But this is a furry story! Sex is the biggest part of it!" Simon gasped. "Where's all the shit eating and fucking of children?"
"Nah, that shit comes later."
Simon grumbled. "But I wanna fuck something little, like a diseased field mouse." Loune looked back at him, over his bat dick dripping cum.
"Why the fuck do you want to do that? Haven't you seen the fucking blue waffle shit?"
"Yeah, that shit was as gross as some god damn Teletubbie nugget porn. Nevermind."
The two stood and wiped their dicks off on Simon's grandma's sweater, then started up the stairs.
"Maybe something cool will happen in the kitchen."
"Fucking doubt it."
Simon and his faggot bat friend went upstairs to the kitchen.  "Do you want a cuntlip sandwich? That shit's delicious." Loune asked. "I'll even give it to you on your fine chink-glass plate."
Simon grinned. "That sounds yummier than a cancer-filled donut. And that's saying something because nothing's tastier than fucking cancer."
"Loune, I love your faggot ass. Now make me a sandwich before I sick some spic's dog on you."
Loune wiggled his ass seductively while he made the sandwich, crisp vagina meatlips piled on top with fresh queef sauce.
Simon sat down at his ass shaped table and prepared his facehole for some fucking minerals. "Thanks for the sandwich, emmalath." 
Loune smiled. "You're very welcome, honey. I'm gonna get some badger-spunk milk for you." Simon smiled as his lover/plaything danced around the kitchen, making a milkshake out of rancid badger sperm. "Oh fuck, that looks delicious."
"It's my grandma's secret recipe." Loune said proudly. "This shit will make your left nipple turn into a fucking centaur cock and drip shit into your asshole." Loune explained.
"That shit sound fucking intense. Lay it on me!" Simon said happily.
BUT as Loune was about to hand the spunkshake over to his homo boyfriend, there was a loud fart from inside the pantry. "Who the shit is in my fucking pantry?" Simon growled. 
The rat pulled out his glock from the fork drawer. 
"Alright, you fucking spic-shit, come out here before I shit some lead at you!" His finger slowly squeezed the trigger.
"WAIT!" A squeaky voice came from the pantry. It was a voice sort of like a wood elf being raped by a gorilla.
The pantry swung open and a short, fat wolf was standing naked with his dick in a can of green beans. "You musn't shoot me. I'm a sweat fairy from the land of pink socks to deliver a message to Simon and Loune! You nigglets must be them!"
He puller a moist piece of paper from his buttcrack and handed it to Loune. 
"This is a messgae from King Woppo of New Italy!"
Loune gasped. "New Italy? That's in a whole other plane of existence! How did you get here?"
The wolf smiled. "Everything is possible with my helicockter backpack! Sony Brand!" The two fucknuggets were impressed by the helicockter.
"But why us?" Simon asked. "Who the fuck wants us so badly that he sends some midget-spic wolf to visit us on a flying dick machine?"
"That is not my place to discuss. You must read my moist letter and quickly, whilst I take my leave!" The naked wolf midget squatted down and farted, but instead of a fart, out came a small orange ball that expanded into a portal just big enough for him.
"My ass portal will take me home to New Italy, but you dickshitters have to find a way there yourself." And with that, the wolf dove into the portal and closed it behind him.
"Who the FUCK was that midget? He shit out a magic portal on our floor and left a shitstain." Simon snatched the letter from Loune. It read:
Dearest fuckups,
I am writing to you on behalf of my people, and all the midgets in my kingdom. We have chosen you two as our heroes to defend earth from an evil force of aliens in the Italian Imperial Arena. Simon, your abilities will be awakened before the games begin.You have mystical powers and shit that you can't understand for some reason. Loune, you're a pretty cool bro too. There is a magic '65 Mustang at the end of the block that will drive you to New Italy. Yours truly,
King Woppo.

"Holy fucking nutbusters. I have secret powers?" Simon grinned. "Maybe it'll grow my dick to size double Q. Or maybe I can open ass portals like that wolf midget beaner." Simon was excited as fuck.
Loune sighed. He didn't have any special powers. The bat was a little upset, but he knew that Simon wouldn't leave his faggoty ass behind.
"Simon, let's get to that mustang and go to New Italy. This fucking gladiator shit sounds fucking cool."
"Only if you hold my hand you little niggerbat."
They held hands and skipped like faggots all the way up the block.