Easy, Peach, the princess told herself. She marshaled her emotions, steeled her resolve. It’s just a simple fitting for a dress. You’ve done it plenty of times. Thousands! It’s simple. Nothing to worry about. Nothing unusual about it.

“That’s right!” she exclaimed. “There’s nothing to worry about!” And with that said, she stood resolutely—and nearly toppled sideways from the unexpected weight.

Being pregnant took some getting used to.

Blushing deeply, pleased as all get-out there was nobody around to see her, Peach stood still for a moment, one hand steadying herself against her four-poster bed while the other cradled the gravid orb jutting in front of her.

Okay,” she said, sucking her breath in. “You did this once, you can do it again.”

This wasn’t her first rodeo, of course. Bowser Jr.’s parentage was obvious to anyone who cared to think about it for even a moment, though almost no one in any kingdom was crass enough to actually say it outright. The boy knew the truth, and even if Peach couldn’t acknowledge him in public, she went out of her way to mother him whenever she found herself Bowser’s ‘guest’—which was, as usual, quite often.

(In fact, ever since bearing her firstborn, she’d arranged for security around the castle to gradually lessen and for certain gaps in it to leak to the Koopa Kingdom. Quality time with her son was important.)

Caressing her front, cognizant of the egg inside—she knew it had to be an egg; Bowser Jr. had come out much the same way—she reflected on how much easier life would be were she not a royal. She didn’t mind that her offspring were inhuman; she would love them all the same, and indeed did love Junior, even if he was coming out a bit of a brat. More time with his mother might fix that, she thought, and immediately lamented the fact that she had a kingdom to attend, sapping away her time to be a proper mother.

Politics, politics, politics. Acknowledging Bowser Jr.’s origins would destroy her reputation, and despite the fact that he was illegitimate, it would give Bowser a real claim to try to put his progeny on the throne and exercise control over her kingdom. Bowser could be tender when he wanted to be and was surprisingly good to his men, but nothing told Peach that history would remember her fondly if she gave him an excuse to snatch her throne. Acknowledging their dalliances could even put pressure on her to marry him, which she had no interest in (though he was obviously keen). The other possibility, framing Junior—and the egg currently slumbering inside of her—as the result of ungentlemanly conduct on Bowser’s part, would quash those pressures, but was also a lie; it wasn’t fair to the Koopa King and would certainly destroy Junior.