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He had previously seen advertisements looking for new show ideas, and has come in to try out some of his material.\n\nThe talent agent looks up from his laptop for a few seconds and stares at the dragon, before dismissively waving his hand and lowering his gaze back to the screen. \"Sorry kid, were not looking for cutesy stuff today - we need to fill seats in Vegas nightclubs, not open for Wiggles concerts...''\n\nThe dragon slouched, dejected, but didn't give up. \"Awww, please sir! I've come such a long way to see you, and honestly I think you might like what I had in mind, if you'll humour me~''\n\nClosing his laptop and putting down his pen, the agent looks back towards the pleading little whelp. \"Alright, alright, you little cutie, I can't promise anything but I'll have a look at your act.''\n\nThe dragon's eyes lit up and a few adorable squeaks leaked from his muzzle. \"Yayyy! Alrighty mister! Just give me a quick second here and I'll get started.''\n\nThe satchel bag is dropped to the floor as the whelp fumbles with its single central button to open it up. He reaches in and grabs a small Bluetooth speaker, flicks a switch on its base, and places it on the floor next to a filing cabinet as it begins to play a loud, upbeat circus tune. He reaches back into the bag and pulls out another object - a massive, pink, flared horse cock dildo, that had no business fitting into a bag that small. 12 inches long and 4 inches thick at its tip, the silicon toy was almost the size of the little cub holding the thing. Plopping the suction-cup base of the toy down on the hardwood office floor, he effortlessly pops the tip in his mouth and uses his body weight to push the flexing cock down his throat, the very noticeable bulge in his throat going down and into his chest as the flared tip fills his belly, coating the toy with stomach acids and half digested food as he pulls it back out again with an unsettling gagging sound. The toy flicks upwards, it's length dripping with yellowish brown gunk and bits of food, flicking a few strands over the agent's deck who was far too transfixed to notice. Rhythmically and without a thought, the baby dragon turns around, raises his rump, and rubs the drooling toy's tip against his tiny tailhole.\n\nThe toy, with a bit of effort, and a few more adorable squeaks, begins to enter the little draggie's ass. He pushes it in just enough, so that he can jump off the floor and use the tension of the springy silicone toy to fly into the air and sit ceremoniously atop the bright pink throne as he begins to lower. Blood starts dripping down the shaft as the baby's hole tears to accommodate the insertion. He screams as his sphincter gives up and snaps, the toy is thrust into his internal organs as gravity pulls him to the ground. The shock and pressure on his belly causing him to vomit violently down his chubby little body, covering his blue scales with the gooey, acidic and chunky mess.\n\nSitting in a puddle of his own blood and vomit, the baby reaches for his satchel once again, pulling out a large bayonet knife, its innocent enough size looking like a large sword in the hands of such a small body. Holding the knife with both hands, he starts rocking himself from side to side until the toy he has impaled himself on detaches from the ground and he falls onto his back, massive toy still sticking out of his ass. Panting heavily, the toddler cannot help but vomit again, his struggling breaths causing the emission to be sucked into his lungs as it fills his mouth, resulting in a coughing and sputtering dragon cub with chunky vomit oozing from his mouth and nose and trickling down his face and neck. Eyes watering, he takes the knife and plunges it into his gut, bisecting himself with ease. He licks his own blood from the bayonet and uses his free hand to reach into his new wound and pull out his intestines. The horse dildo taking up the entirety of his large intestine, the whelp pulls the smaller tubes from his body until he finds where they meet, and effortlessly slices them in twain. His bloody paw grabs the dripping, torn end of his small intestines and pulls it towards his face. He drops the knife and starts squeezing his intestines like a toothpaste tube - all the warm, brown shit in his bowels that had been pushed back by the dildo began to dribble from the opening, falling onto his snout and into his mouth with audible splatting sounds. The baby, face still covered in vomit, started to messily and noisily gum the shit in his mouth into a fine puree, moaning and smacking his lips as he swallowed it all.\n\nQuickly finishing his meal, he drops his glistening guts onto the ground and goes for his bag once more, pulling out a large Tupperware container filled with mincemeat. Upon opening the container, however, it was clear this meat was weeks, if not months old - the smell of rotting flesh permeated the room, the spoilt minced flesh, tinged with black mould has hundreds of writhing maggots feasting on it. Without even waiting for the miasma of stench to clear, the toddler turns the container around and dumps its contents into his recently bisected torso, moaning loudly as he throws the empty container to the side and starts to massage the maggot-infested meat into his guts. \n\nLicking his hands clean of rotting flesh and maggots, the whelp musters enough energy to sit upright. He reaches for the knife to his side, and raises it high before thrusting it down into the joint between his pelvis and right leg. The knife is so sharp that it's tip slices right through the cartilage that holds his leg in place and burrows a few millimetres into the hardwood floor. The pain is enough to make the baby dragon finally scream in agony, followed by a sickening GLURK as his mouth is filled once again with his own vomit, half digested shit flecked with maggots that cascades down his body and into the fresh wound. He twists the knife, the squelch of his thigh bone being permanently liberated from his torso echoes through the room, then pulls the blade out through the flesh, leaving his leg hanging on by a thread. Raising the knife again, he repeats the actions for his left leg, though he manages not to scream this time. Each leg now bleeding profusely, attached only by a strand of flesh running down the inner thigh, that the tot proceeds to cut down as effortlessly as warm butter with the incredibly sharp bayonet. \n\nStarting to falter a bit from blood loss and septic shock, the dragon reaches into his bag for the last time and pulls out a small, self-igniting, butane blowtorch, he switches the device on, causing an arc of bright orange flame to erupt from its tip. He runs it along his bleeding leg stumps, attempting to cauterize the veins, filling the room with the scent of roasting dragon flesh. Once the flesh is charred enough to stop the egress of what little blood he had left, he lifts the blowtorch up to his face, and sprays the small blaze into his eyeballs. The agony is unbearable. The little toddler is screaming and writhing around on the floor, and instinctively closes his eyelids for what little good that does before they melt away and expose the eyeballs to the brilliant flame. After a few seconds, the charred, blackened orbs simply pop, spurting eye juice and blood onto the floor and down his cheeks. The blowtorch eventually turns off my itself, and drops to the floor as the dragon reaches into his eye sockets and scoops out the pulsating, charred goo with his little baby paws and smears it across his tongue and gums, then reaches into his torso to pull out two handfuls of rotting mincemeat and smear it into the sockets, shivering with delight as he feels the maggots wriggling into the folds of his brain. \n\nAt this time, the music playing in the background swells to a climax and finishes with fanfare, and the dragon throws his arms up in the air. \"TAH-DAH!''\n\nThe talent agent, mouth agape, hadn't blinked for the entirety of the show, so engrossed in the presentation. He snaps out of his stupor, rubs his eyes and addresses the barely sentient pile of gore and shit on the ground. \"Holy shit... that was impressive.\n\n...What do you call this show of yours?''\n\n\"THE EVERISTOCRATS!''\n\n","writing_bbcode_parsed":"<span style='word-wrap: break-word;'>A small, chubby, blue baby dragon waddles into the office of a talent agent, a small brown satchel bag draped across his side. He had previously seen advertisements looking for new show ideas, and has come in to try out some of his material.<br /><br />The talent agent looks up from his laptop for a few seconds and stares at the dragon, before dismissively waving his hand and lowering his gaze back to the screen. &quot;Sorry kid, were not looking for cutesy stuff today - we need to fill seats in Vegas nightclubs, not open for Wiggles concerts...&#039;&#039;<br /><br />The dragon slouched, dejected, but didn&#039;t give up. &quot;Awww, please sir! I&#039;ve come such a long way to see you, and honestly I think you might like what I had in mind, if you&#039;ll humour me~&#039;&#039;<br /><br />Closing his laptop and putting down his pen, the agent looks back towards the pleading little whelp. &quot;Alright, alright, you little cutie, I can&#039;t promise anything but I&#039;ll have a look at your act.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />The dragon&#039;s eyes lit up and a few adorable squeaks leaked from his muzzle. &quot;Yayyy! Alrighty mister! Just give me a quick second here and I&#039;ll get started.&#039;&#039;<br /><br />The satchel bag is dropped to the floor as the whelp fumbles with its single central button to open it up. He reaches in and grabs a small Bluetooth speaker, flicks a switch on its base, and places it on the floor next to a filing cabinet as it begins to play a loud, upbeat circus tune. He reaches back into the bag and pulls out another object - a massive, pink, flared horse cock dildo, that had no business fitting into a bag that small. 12 inches long and 4 inches thick at its tip, the silicon toy was almost the size of the little cub holding the thing. Plopping the suction-cup base of the toy down on the hardwood office floor, he effortlessly pops the tip in his mouth and uses his body weight to push the flexing cock down his throat, the very noticeable bulge in his throat going down and into his chest as the flared tip fills his belly, coating the toy with stomach acids and half digested food as he pulls it back out again with an unsettling gagging sound. The toy flicks upwards, it&#039;s length dripping with yellowish brown gunk and bits of food, flicking a few strands over the agent&#039;s deck who was far too transfixed to notice. Rhythmically and without a thought, the baby dragon turns around, raises his rump, and rubs the drooling toy&#039;s tip against his tiny tailhole.<br /><br />The toy, with a bit of effort, and a few more adorable squeaks, begins to enter the little draggie&#039;s ass. He pushes it in just enough, so that he can jump off the floor and use the tension of the springy silicone toy to fly into the air and sit ceremoniously atop the bright pink throne as he begins to lower. Blood starts dripping down the shaft as the baby&#039;s hole tears to accommodate the insertion. He screams as his sphincter gives up and snaps, the toy is thrust into his internal organs as gravity pulls him to the ground. The shock and pressure on his belly causing him to vomit violently down his chubby little body, covering his blue scales with the gooey, acidic and chunky mess.<br /><br />Sitting in a puddle of his own blood and vomit, the baby reaches for his satchel once again, pulling out a large bayonet knife, its innocent enough size looking like a large sword in the hands of such a small body. Holding the knife with both hands, he starts rocking himself from side to side until the toy he has impaled himself on detaches from the ground and he falls onto his back, massive toy still sticking out of his ass. Panting heavily, the toddler cannot help but vomit again, his struggling breaths causing the emission to be sucked into his lungs as it fills his mouth, resulting in a coughing and sputtering dragon cub with chunky vomit oozing from his mouth and nose and trickling down his face and neck. Eyes watering, he takes the knife and plunges it into his gut, bisecting himself with ease. He licks his own blood from the bayonet and uses his free hand to reach into his new wound and pull out his intestines. The horse dildo taking up the entirety of his large intestine, the whelp pulls the smaller tubes from his body until he finds where they meet, and effortlessly slices them in twain. His bloody paw grabs the dripping, torn end of his small intestines and pulls it towards his face. He drops the knife and starts squeezing his intestines like a toothpaste tube - all the warm, brown shit in his bowels that had been pushed back by the dildo began to dribble from the opening, falling onto his snout and into his mouth with audible splatting sounds. The baby, face still covered in vomit, started to messily and noisily gum the shit in his mouth into a fine puree, moaning and smacking his lips as he swallowed it all.<br /><br />Quickly finishing his meal, he drops his glistening guts onto the ground and goes for his bag once more, pulling out a large Tupperware container filled with mincemeat. Upon opening the container, however, it was clear this meat was weeks, if not months old - the smell of rotting flesh permeated the room, the spoilt minced flesh, tinged with black mould has hundreds of writhing maggots feasting on it. Without even waiting for the miasma of stench to clear, the toddler turns the container around and dumps its contents into his recently bisected torso, moaning loudly as he throws the empty container to the side and starts to massage the maggot-infested meat into his guts. <br /><br />Licking his hands clean of rotting flesh and maggots, the whelp musters enough energy to sit upright. He reaches for the knife to his side, and raises it high before thrusting it down into the joint between his pelvis and right leg. The knife is so sharp that it&#039;s tip slices right through the cartilage that holds his leg in place and burrows a few millimetres into the hardwood floor. The pain is enough to make the baby dragon finally scream in agony, followed by a sickening GLURK as his mouth is filled once again with his own vomit, half digested shit flecked with maggots that cascades down his body and into the fresh wound. He twists the knife, the squelch of his thigh bone being permanently liberated from his torso echoes through the room, then pulls the blade out through the flesh, leaving his leg hanging on by a thread. Raising the knife again, he repeats the actions for his left leg, though he manages not to scream this time. Each leg now bleeding profusely, attached only by a strand of flesh running down the inner thigh, that the tot proceeds to cut down as effortlessly as warm butter with the incredibly sharp bayonet. <br /><br />Starting to falter a bit from blood loss and septic shock, the dragon reaches into his bag for the last time and pulls out a small, self-igniting, butane blowtorch, he switches the device on, causing an arc of bright orange flame to erupt from its tip. He runs it along his bleeding leg stumps, attempting to cauterize the veins, filling the room with the scent of roasting dragon flesh. Once the flesh is charred enough to stop the egress of what little blood he had left, he lifts the blowtorch up to his face, and sprays the small blaze into his eyeballs. The agony is unbearable. The little toddler is screaming and writhing around on the floor, and instinctively closes his eyelids for what little good that does before they melt away and expose the eyeballs to the brilliant flame. After a few seconds, the charred, blackened orbs simply pop, spurting eye juice and blood onto the floor and down his cheeks. The blowtorch eventually turns off my itself, and drops to the floor as the dragon reaches into his eye sockets and scoops out the pulsating, charred goo with his little baby paws and smears it across his tongue and gums, then reaches into his torso to pull out two handfuls of rotting mincemeat and smear it into the sockets, shivering with delight as he feels the maggots wriggling into the folds of his brain. <br /><br />At this time, the music playing in the background swells to a climax and finishes with fanfare, and the dragon throws his arms up in the air. &quot;TAH-DAH!&#039;&#039;<br /><br />The talent agent, mouth agape, hadn&#039;t blinked for the entirety of the show, so engrossed in the presentation. He snaps out of his stupor, rubs his eyes and addresses the barely sentient pile of gore and shit on the ground. &quot;Holy shit... that was impressive.<br /><br />...What do you call this show of yours?&#039;&#039;<br /><br />&quot;THE EVERISTOCRATS!&#039;&#039;<br /><br /></span>","pools_count":0,"title":"Funny Joke","deleted":"f","public":"t","mimetype":"application/msword","pagecount":"1","rating_id":"2","rating_name":"Adult","ratings":[{"content_tag_id":"4","name":"Sexual Themes","description":"Erotic imagery, sexual activity or arousal","rating_id":"2"},{"content_tag_id":"5","name":"Strong Violence","description":"Strong violence, blood, serious injury or death","rating_id":"2"}],"submission_type_id":"12","type_name":"Writing - Document","guest_block":"t","friends_only":"f","comments_count":"3","views":"201","sales_description":null,"forsale":"f","digitalsales":"f","printsales":"f","digital_price":""}