He stared down at the gravestone, trying his best to comprehend, but his brain just couldn’t wrap around it. The sky was cloudy, but despite his wishes, the rain just wouldn’t come. It was as stubborn as his employer had been.

Ashi-Le stood beside him, dressed in a strangely reserved black mourning gown, her cleavage covered, for once. She held the umbrella largely for appearance’s sake, and primarily because it hid them from the view of the onlookers.

“I… I’m sorry for your loss, Egon. I know you two were very close. This… another one for you—“

He knew what she was talking about, and he didn’t want to listen. His hand quivered in its position, held out as if he was trying to reach something in the air, before he rested it on the simple black monument. A name, two dates. That was all there was, and all he would have wanted.

“The numbers,” he murmured bleakly. “The numbers never lie to you. The numbers never leave you. They’re right, and it’s only a matter of time before you’re fighting against the odds to survive… Everyone dies. It’s an eventuality. It… it would have been stranger if he hadn’t, I mean, statistically—“

She rested her hand on his shoulder, and he felt the first warmth since the nurse at the hospital. “Egon…”

The rain fell from his eyes, and pitter-pattered along the solemn granite block. “It—it’s not fair… he… too young!!! Too young! How could he have gotten NIDS? He was so happy s… so healthy four months ago!! Th-there was nothing wrong with him! I would have known and—and it’s just too… it’s supposed to be a rare disease, and… and I’ve seen three people d-die from… how… I….”

He slumped to the stone and rested his head against it, his body drinking in the cold and making himself just as stonelike, just as unmoving, just as frozen. “Why was he taken from me? I… I needed him… I was finally happy again… how…. How did he….?”

“… NIDS is passed by fluid interactions between an afflicted individual and the… uh…” One hand stole to her forelock and stroked at it, a nervous tic. “Did…. Did you and Finitevus ever—“

“Are you accusing me?” He gasped, eyes wild and bloodshot from the tears. “Of… of killing my own l—my own employer???”

“… was he handling any samples of the NIDS pathogen?” They both knew he worked with physics alone; that pathogenic research was at a totally different site, four floors underground and shielded by thick concrete and procedures.

“Remember that we all had to take a blood-test when he turned ill? They…. They found something weird… your white blood cell count was way off and---“

The boy was slumped against the stone, holding it tightly, but his shaking shoulderblades had halted. “Wh…. I could have NIDS too?” Now, now he was afraid. “…W…all we did was kiss…. All I did was kiss him, and he kissed me, and… and I was finally happy again… I was finally….” He smiled softly. “At least I’ll see him soon, right?”

“You don’t have NIDS, Egon,” Ashi informed him, her voice choked back. “You’re actually incredibly healthy. Y… you’re a carrier. They looked into your records and… and your mother had a less extreme version already in her when you were born… you got that in her milk and…. You survived and adapted with the….”

The word carrier was enough to send him sprawling back with a heart-wrenching sob, clutching at the newly turned soil and the soft grasses around the grave of his lover. “No- I—want, be with- F-Finitevus, Fini I- I didn’t… I w-w-want to die, please, please let this be a-“

“They want to do more tests,” she finished softly. “They don’t want you…. Interacting with anyone else right now… something as simple as blowing a raspberry could…” He knew what they did with NIDS sufferers who voluntarily underwent research to find a cure, knowing that they would die before it would be discovered, and resigned to their fate and the horrible conditions. A living, healthy carrier… The things they would do to him…

He didn’t care… he wanted to be dead. He… he understood as soon as she’d said it that…that if he’d never met Finitevus, the man would still be alive right now. He… he was responsible for murdering his lover with every kiss he lavished on him, with every time they reached for happiness together. It… it would have been better if he were dead, or a stillborn.

Ashi-Le let him sob at the site of his loved one, gravesoil ingraining into his clothing, until the agents from the pathology labs came to take him away.