Chapter 51: To Sleep, Perchance to Dream

White as far as the eye can see. Not a solid white, but a hazy, fuzzy and translucent white. A bright white fog as some would say as thick as pea soup. Ten feet, maybe twenty one can make out their surroundings. It is so like Fernando’s white out condition that it stirs him to the core. He would wake from it if it were possible. He hates it.

His mind has to reach out through its senses. But there is nothing there to register. The soft static in his ears registering the air molecules bouncing against his ear drum is the only sound heard other than his breathing and heart beating. Only gravity tells him that his feet are on some solid ground and not floating out somewhere.  The air course about him and around him like some attention wanting lover against his skin. Sense of Time was unknown but seemed is fleeting though to him everything is slowed down. It is maddening.

A bright ball of light flew about behind him, barely cutting through the fog just a couple of feet around it. It flies around him, not able to show enough light through the fog to be seen. He stands there wondering what he senses was telling him, which was very little to decipher until the ball of light brightens his immediate area and taps him on the nose. Things change about him, of him, but at the same time he was still he. A pair of warm hands takes his.

“Boo.”, a young female voice says unto him.

“Rosita?”, he asks.

“Who else would be haunting you in your dreams?”, she answers in question.

“But...”, Fernando tries to ask.

“I made you my size and age to match me, if that is what you were about to ask.”, Rosita answers.

“Oh. But that was not it. Where are we?”, he says, changing to a question.

“Here? It’s a place between dreams and reality, where memories, people and spirits resides. Its between heaven and hell.”, she explains.

“And where are you?”, Fernando dare asks.

“Heaven, you silly squirrel puppy.”, Rosita answers.

“OK.”, he says to himself. She leans over and kisses his nose but no reaction happens. “Hey...”, he holds back from yelling at her.

“See. No reaction. Here, you are your perfect physical self. No scars, no injuries, no crossed nerves that makes your nose a hyper sensitive dick starter.”, she tells him.

“So...”, he starts to asks but gets interrupted.

“...Why I’m here?”, she finishes the question for him. She tightens her grip on his hands, “Many reasons. First off, no matter what happens, you are not to ever harm Jorge to kill him, not even in a fight.”

“Can I ask why?”, he asks.

The fog turns a bright flaming red that embers down to a dark brown,  a loud booming voice echoes across the expanse, “DON’T TELL HIM! LET HIM COME DOWN HERE ON HIS OWN!”, before the fog turns white again.

They look at each other for a moment.

“That’s why.”, she tells him.

“Can I ask why?”, he starts to ask, “I mean, what would he had done...”

“He raped Rachel while you were sleeping in the morning.”, she tells him, holding his hands tighter to match his tightening grip. If she was of mere flesh and blood, the bones in her hands would be cracking from the force he was exerting. But as an intelligent energy that makes up a soul, she matches him to keep him from waking himself up. “You need to calm down.”, she tells him sternly.

“I swore that I would kill him if he did that!”, Fernando yells out loud.

“You do that, you go to hell for killing him. I would remain in heaven without you for the rest of eternity, and that would be painful for the both of us. You would also miss Rachel and the other girls would also be in heaven if you kill him. But most importantly, there is a punishment being made for him by the adults who care about you. You just need to be at peace of that decision and the one I’m telling you to make.”, Rosita tells him.

He sighs for a moment.

“You listening?”, she asks.

“I am.”, he answers.

“I know you better than most. I’m in your dreams and when I am in your mind when you think of me. I need you to decide because I can not force you to decide.”, she tells him.

“If you didn’t tell me, I would not have to decide.”, he tells her.

“If you found out when you woke up, you would have killed him in the fight that was to follow. I’m trying to prevent that.”,  she explains.

“Alright. I’ll decide, after I know what his punishment is going to be.”, he says.

“Understand what he did, he was not in control of himself.”, she adds to her explanation.

“What do you mean by that?”, he asks.

“He was under the influence of some drug. A drug given to him by Francis.”, she answers.

“That no excuse.”, he says.

“Just accept that it is.”, she tells him.

“His punishment? Better yet, how about hers too.”, he demands.

“Her punishment is yet to be decided because her family don’t know yet.”, Rosita answers, “As for his, for now he’s going to be changed into a girl though it might change for something else.”

“Changing him into a girl wont do much. He’ll turn into a bitch and still be able to attack me. And you know me, I don’t hit girls.”, he tells her.

“Being a bitch takes away from one being a girl. So you cant hit a girl, but you can hit a bitch to put her into her place. And as a girl, you wont kill Jorge. But as a bitch, you can and will put her in her place.”, she tries to explain sternly.

“I... I just don’t know.”, he says. “He will not learn unless his fluffy tail gets cut off and his ass shaved bald.”

“Then so be it, but you are not going to do it. Understand that?”, she tells him.

“Alright...”, he says in defeat then asks, “What about Rachel?”

“What about her?”, she asks.

“What if she kills Jorge for what he did to her?”, he asks.

“She wont.”, Rosita tells him.

“And how can you be so sure about that?”, he asks.

“Just like I am here with you, I will have the same talk with her.”, she tells him, “Besides. She’s a girl. She may want revenge but she wont get it for when she sees what is done to him, she’ll accept that as punishment enough.”

Fernando sighs then replies, “OK.”

“Good.” Rosita says to herself but loud enough to be heard.

“Good?”, Fernando asks.

“Yes. Good.”, she sternly looks into his eyes. “I swear, if I was alive you would be making choices to benefit you and everyone around you.”

“What do you mean by that?”, he asks.

“You wouldn’t be blaming yourself for my death. You would not be getting the headaches you do...”, she starts to explain, then hesitates, “Oh, maybe you would still have them. But I would be there to hopefully make you feel better. You certainly would not be screwing your doctor to help them.”

“Dr. Leary?”, he asks, “What about her?”

“She’s just using you.”, she answers.

“OK. But you’re not down there with me. And things happen for a reason, right?”, he says and asks.

“I’ll give you that much.”, Rosita answers, then asks, “If I was your sister, would you be doing me too?”

“No, wait, I don’t know.”, he beings to answer, “It would depend on how much we love each other and what we mean to one another. That would depend on what you give to me and how much you want back and how much I can give in return.”

“Good save.”, she tells him, “Don’t think that there is a miracle about to happen and I come back to life. Its not possible, not this late in the game. Even if I were to come back, I might end up on the other side of the planet as a baby to some oriental mouse family. Its highly unlikely I would return like I was, maybe older at your age and be adopted by your family because my return to my family would drive them insane.”

“Why are you telling me this?”, he asks.

“Because I want to be there, where Rachel is. She’s lucky to have you and you better not do anything to her to cause her harm.”, she begins, “Look. She’s been raped and it might take a while for her to be normal again. Don’t force her into anything she does not want to do.”

“Don’t I already do that. I don’t force her into doing things she does not want or can not do.”, he says.

“I know. And I need you to keep that up, no matter what.”, she says, “Rachel needs some time to heal after this. Give her that time and be patient with her.”

He just lets out another sigh.

“One more thing.”, she says.

“What’s that?”, he asks.

“Don’t think that what I’m about to tell you is crazy or stupid...”, she starts to say.

“What?!!”, he tries to hold back on her.

“Soon there will be more voices in your head, don’t listen them.”, she tries to explain.

“I don’t.”, he replies.

“Good.”, she started to say, “Wait, what do you mean you don’t?”

“I don’t. I hear them and know its not me, so not listening to them is a good option. Besides, I already figured out it’s a developing form of telepathy, which would be dangerous if everyone knew I could read their minds.”, he explains.

“So you know...”, she says almost defeatedly.

“Left alone in a weaker mind prone to suggestions, it can lead to Schizophrenia. I know everyone gets it once in a while but few go crazy, most ignore it and a tiny minority figures out how to use it. I just need to learn how.”, he explains.

“Just be careful. You think you got headaches now, wait when you start reading minds. Second...”, she tells him with some authority though she has none.

“Second?”, Fernando asks.

“Second – Don’t use that ability all the time with the girls. We girls do like a little privacy.”, Rosita tells him

“I’m not doing on purpose. It just happens at times. I swear, its like people has some really loud thoughts.”, he tries to explain.

“What ever. Don’t let it happen all the time or on purpose. And third...”, she tells him.

“Third?”, he asks.

“Yes, third. Let see.”, she begins.

“Lets see? You making this up as you go along or something?”, he asks her.

“No.”, she tells him, “I just cant remember. Now lets see.”

“Maybe there is no third.”, he tried to point.

“There is, now hush up and let me think.”, she tells him. “Hmm... Three,  about Mary and to some extent Tonya...”, she continues.

“What about them?”, he interrupts her.

“Its more about Mary.”, she starts to say.

“What about her?”, he interrupts her again.

“Despite everything that has happened to her and allowed herself to do, she is clean. No diseases, no SIV. Only thing she got is a screwed up mind as to how things are supposed to be and blames me for some of that. Tonya is even more screwed up, anyone would when they’re told to accept what is happening them as normal function and par for the course. Whether you stick your dick in them or not is on you, but you have a lot to do in teaching them what is right for now on.”, Rosita explains.

“Mary is the reason why all the squirrel boys and other males were killed.”, Fernando complains.

“Or so it may seem. Look, she did not pull the trigger on any of them. Nor has she pointed them out to be targets of elimination. It was the gang boys who took it upon themselves to send a nail of schism into the community, separate the furs and then take advantage of it with rapes, muggings, murder and mayhem. Mary was trying to make herself into somebody’s alpha, had to fight for it and her sister’s protection once in the gang. It is difficult to love somebody you don’t like, and she did it with the boys of the gang for those reasons. She never loved any of them, and in the private secrecy of her mind, when she was forced to have sex, she thought of you doing her until she was rudely awaken from her dream of passion with you. So give her and Tonya that much.”, she explains.

“I’ll see what I can do. But answer this – you said sister. Tonya is not Mary’s sister as far as everybody knows.”, he says.

“Tonya is Mary’s sister, or should I say half-sister, like you and Jorge are half brothers.”, she tries to explain.

“OK...”, he says.

“Mary’s father had an affair with another woman outside his marriage to Mary’s mother. It would have been a secret except that woman he had an adulterous affair with was killed in a car accident a couple of years ago and Tonya knowing him as the other part-time father she had, by law he had to take her in. Tonya is Mary’s sister by their father.”, she finishes explaining.

“OK. Does not mean anything to me.”, he tells her.

“At least you know. But most importantly, the girls are going plot against them to keep them away from you. What you do depends on what you know. They think and will act against Mary and Tonya by making them inaccessible to you because they think the girls have SIV and SAIDS. They don’t.”, she tries to explain.

“Like you said, who I stick my dick into is my business. As is Mary has a lot to make up for before I start fucking her and not moment before.”, he tells her.

“So are the other girls if they are going to plot against each other. You are the Alpha, you must remain in control of your girls or they are going to take care of you.”, she tells him, “Now if I was alive, I would be the Alpha and I would teach those conniving bitches a lesson in fluffy tail rules of relationship.”

“Its my job, I’ll take care of them.”, he almost demands.

“OK. Run down. What is number one?”, Rosita asks.

“Number one- not to kill Jorge for what he did to Rachel because the adults are taking care of it.”, Fernando answers.

“Plus you’ll go to hell if you do. Now, what is number two?”, she says and then asks.

“Not to use my new found powers of telepathy against those around me. But I have no control of it, and as in most cases it might go away when I hit 17 when my brain starts to prune unneeded areas as it prepares itself for adulthood.”, he explains.

“Then learn to control it or ignore other people’s thoughts. You know how people tend to change their minds all of the sudden and with no reason. You going against them when you still think they are thinking one way will cause you trouble when they change their mind.”, she tells him.

“Alright, but I already knew that.”, he explains.

“Then remember that always. Now number three.”, she says.

“To give Mary and Tonya the benefit of the doubt and help them when needed.”, he answers.

“Try to love them and trust them like you would the others, and to help them when the others try to go against them, but close enough.”, she tells him.

“She has a lot of making up to do.”, he tells her.

“Much of what happened was not her fault, so give her that much. OK?”, she says sternly.

“I’ll see what I can do but don’t be expecting  miracles with her.”, he tells her.

“I expect you to do more, especially with her and Tonya.”, she says sternly, almost threatening with a mean look that he has not seen in several years. She then lets out a sigh, “Look. You got another 24 hours to sleep off the medication given to you, so sleep. You got a long day Sunday, a lot to make up for sleeping off Saturday.”

Before he could say anything to him, she steps up to him and plants her lips against his in a kiss that seemed to have lasted as long as their little talk before the world around them fades to black.

End of Chapter 51