Intro Yo wut it be and do and harrumph and whatnot. I'm here to write any fantasy that you have brewin' in that mind of yours. Yes, the one you're hearing right now that's letting you read this. Now, to be clear, the cover isn't just for show. I will write literally any and everything for however much you want. I am completely limitless with commissions. Your story can range from a series that ranges until one of us expires or just a perfectly calligraphed "The". Either way, you shall be happy with what you get once the transaction is finished. Guaranteed! Or you shall have my kneecaps. Method Now, to get serious for a moment, I'm aware of the horror stories, you're aware of the horror stories. Hell, you might've experienced the horror story first hand. I know I have. Yup, I'm talking about being stiffed. Whether it be from a writer working day and night, creating the scenarios, implementing everything the customer wants, spending hours and hours of their limited time on a project just to have said project being taken without a cent or the customer spending hours and hours of their limited time at their own occupation, dealing with Karens, standing for hours, dealing with aches, biting their tongue when Linda bitches at them for showing up 3 minutes late when they've had the same start times with her for months and this is the third time that Linda's even been seen on the job site and all she does is swing her stupid dick around, firing people for no reason just because she can. Like, sorry, Linda! Maybe if you weren't such a power junkie, you could've been there to see your mother in time! Anyways, yeah, I get it. You gotta be careful with transactions, which is why I came up with this method: 1. You tell me what you want. Every detail (remember, no information is too little. In order to get your money's worth, I need to know every possible thing you want. And to do that, you gotta give up the detes) 2. I write it. 3. I separate it in different portions and send them to you one by one. 4. You receive the portion and either tell me you love it, so you can receive the next, tell me what details I missed or something you wanna add and I revise it, or you just tell me it sucks and I'm stupid for trying to get money for this and I cry like an anime character. 5. Rinse and repeat until your story's fully delivered. 6. We all get tacos. There will be no revisions or exceptions to this plan for new customers. Payment will not be paid before or fully unless trust has been built for both parties if you choose to be a reoccurring customer and you CHOOSE to have payment made before or after. I just want that to be clear, this is your choice. Muns Yeah. Judgment is the only thing that's free here. Where there's demand, there's supply. Capitalism and Uncle Sam and American Dream and apple freedom porn McDonald's sprite pie or something. Anyways, my pricing goes as follows: Vanilla: 0.03 per word Fanfiction: 0.04 per word Guilty Pleasures: 0.05 per word All payment shall go through Paypal, but, and let me make this clear, DO NOT MENTION ANYTHING ABOUT NSFW CONTENT!!! They don't like that. And they'll bully my account for it and I won't be able to do the writing stuff for a bit and starve. So...yeah, don't do that. Also, my views on guilty pleasures and vanilla might be different than yours. So just ask if you're unsure of where your suggestion lands. It may surprise you. Limits No limits means no limits. Anything you can conceive in your mind shall be implemented on a document. No matter what it is, rest assured that you will get everything you wish. Nothing is too much for me and my keyboard. Try me if ya wanna. Conclusion I'm just here to make your nights a bit more interesting with creativity from both me and you. Or your days. I don't know. I don't judge. Whether you're an innocent cinnamon roll who enjoys vanilla or you're a filthy degenerate who enjoys all of the kinks and then some, creativity deserves to be enjoyed. As long as it remains in the imagination. So as long as we're on the same page on that front, we shall have no issues. Basically, don't be a giant douchey jerk and we'll get along fine. Also, if you ask me to plagiarize, I'll give you a poppin'.