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It's evident in every part of his personality. He works from home, and he largely stays at home. Does he own actual pants? Uncertain. You always see him in pajama pants. He comes out to check the mail and goes back inside, and that's about it. His job involves technical stuff behind the scenes, stuff that involves little correspondence, no sort of meetings where he has to dress nice. As a result, outside of his work, he spends his time inside, online, gaming, or scrolling the internet. Lyle is prone to longwinded episodes of talking, rambling about anime or swords or some other dweeby shit he knows too much about. He's the type of guy that talks AT you more than talks WITH you, leaving you very little room to converse with him. Perhaps that's why he can't score a lay. He can, however, tell you 30+ minutes of uninterrupted fact about an anime you've never heard of, all while sniffling regularly. He has terrible allergies.\n\nHe games A LOT. A whole lot. When he's not gaming, when he's not crawling the web for content, he's probably looking at porn. He's a man of simple pleasures, and those simple pleasures include MMOs and tentacle hentai. He's never been laid, and it shows in every aspect of his social personality, but god would he love to be. Comfortably bisexual, total top, all he really wants is someone to get him off.\n\nEnter Alister, the sergal, his online friend and roleplay buddy who he moved in with him from out west. Alister ALSO has a tech job, and ALSO loves video games and porn. These two had quite a spicy friendship on the internet, and Lyle hoped that moving him in would result in, yaknow, hole whenever he wanted it. ON THE CONTRARY, it seems, Alister turns out to not only also be a virgin, but is \"asexual offline\". He loves jacking off, he loves roleplay, he loves porn, and he has no desire to be touched outside of that. Does this harm their friendship? Only marginally. Alister, the quieter of the two, enjoys obscure animes that have never had official subs, he enjoys bullet hell video game soundtracks, and he enjoys his job coding from home. Alister SEEMS to have some sort of autism? He has a physical tic in which his hands are almost always drawn up like a t-rex with a frequent hand clenching tic that gets worse socially. He has IBS. He has a sweating problem. Outside of all that? The two both are paid well, and they live in a singlewide trailer in the rural south.\n\nLife couldn't get much better. Unless Lyle could get laid, THAT would make it better.\n", "description_bbcode_parsed": "Lyle (the crux) works from home. It's evident in every part of his personality. He works from home, and he largely stays at home. Does he own actual pants? Uncertain. You always see him in pajama pants. He comes out to check the mail and goes back inside, and that's about it. His job involves technical stuff behind the scenes, stuff that involves little correspondence, no sort of meetings where he has to dress nice. As a result, outside of his work, he spends his time inside, online, gaming, or scrolling the internet. Lyle is prone to longwinded episodes of talking, rambling about anime or swords or some other dweeby shit he knows too much about. He's the type of guy that talks AT you more than talks WITH you, leaving you very little room to converse with him. Perhaps that's why he can't score a lay. He can, however, tell you 30+ minutes of uninterrupted fact about an anime you've never heard of, all while sniffling regularly. He has terrible allergies.

He games A LOT. A whole lot. When he's not gaming, when he's not crawling the web for content, he's probably looking at porn. He's a man of simple pleasures, and those simple pleasures include MMOs and tentacle hentai. He's never been laid, and it shows in every aspect of his social personality, but god would he love to be. Comfortably bisexual, total top, all he really wants is someone to get him off.

Enter Alister, the sergal, his online friend and roleplay buddy who he moved in with him from out west. Alister ALSO has a tech job, and ALSO loves video games and porn. These two had quite a spicy friendship on the internet, and Lyle hoped that moving him in would result in, yaknow, hole whenever he wanted it. ON THE CONTRARY, it seems, Alister turns out to not only also be a virgin, but is "asexual offline". He loves jacking off, he loves roleplay, he loves porn, and he has no desire to be touched outside of that. Does this harm their friendship? Only marginally. Alister, the quieter of the two, enjoys obscure animes that have never had official subs, he enjoys bullet hell video game soundtracks, and he enjoys his job coding from home. Alister SEEMS to have some sort of autism? He has a physical tic in which his hands are almost always drawn up like a t-rex with a frequent hand clenching tic that gets worse socially. He has IBS. He has a sweating problem. Outside of all that? The two both are paid well, and they live in a singlewide trailer in the rural south.

Life couldn't get much better. Unless Lyle could get laid, THAT would make it better.
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