A commission for
\n\t\t\t\t\tlwrottie!I’ll bet you see a lot of gators at truck stops. They inhabit the hottest, dampest, smelliest swamps, so it’s obvious they’re used to being hot, damp, and smelly! In other words, they’re perfect for driving days on end in enclosed spaces with the sun bearing down on ‘em when breaks are far and few in between. The best candidates for the job! I’ll bet they get quite… flavorful in there to boot. They probably don’t even notice, seeing as how they’re built to live in exactly those kinds of conditions. No doubt anyone who climbs into a truck cabin with one certainly would, however!
So would anyone who happens upon one in a public restroom. Frame so large they take up almost two urinals of space, thick tail reaching all the way to the sinks behind them, and one powerful odor wafting off their unwashed leathery hides. Hope you’re not bladder shy, because you might need to get a little cozy if the only available urinal is right next to one of those massive lizards! Just keep your eyes to the wall. Unless you LIKE the fangy grin one of those brutes might shoot you if your eyes somehow meet.
What would be the appropriate response to that? Well, appropriate might not be the proper word. More like “what response wouldn’t result in you leaving the restroom smelling like gator?” Certainly nothing about how his stream hitting the porcelain sounds more like he’s filling a tub than taking a leak, because he’d probably be tempted to show you the size of the hose capable of pushing out so much fluid at once. And definitely don’t comment on how long he must’ve been on the road judging by how slick his glistening penis and sweat-dripping gator sack look in the fluorescent light, because he might be tempted to leave all that moisture giving them that greasy sheen on your tongue!
Or do. I’m not your dad.