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If your pokémon don't know how to Double Team and Lick, that sounds like a trainer problem to me!
I’ve never seen the Pokémon 2000 movie. But I do have Pokémon Silver! Actually just found the box again after 25 years! Pristine condition, cartridge, manual, ad for player’s guide and a chance to win a Pikachu Nintendo 64, everything. I wonder if my save data is on there. I booted my Pokémon Red cartridge up again eight years ago and SOMEHOW it was still there, so who knows!
My point is, the extent of my knowledge about Lugia’s canon is “Gyaaas!” In fact, I even considered setting this in a cave like where you encounter him in the game, but caves are way less interesting and comfy (and in my opinion, way less fun to draw than a beach). I don’t think it’d be terribly out of Lugia’s character to occasionally stroll about in the outside world! Those rumored sightings gotta come from somewhere! While a cave is suitable for Lugia’s solitude, it’s nice to get out and spread his wings from time to time. But then you run the risk of being stumbled upon by a particularly adventurous trainer with a pokémon that Surfed just a little too far while exploring new horizons. But when you find the great white beast slumbering in a sunny cove, it may by better to send your pokémon in to greet him, seeing as how Lugia has chosen to seclude himself from the human world! This is an opportunity you can’t afford to fumble; you have to put your best foot forward.
Aw, crap, that’s right. Most of your pokémon’s social training was how to love getting their cocks handled by their trainer. Rather than a pat on the back for a battle well-fought, you reach down and grab their dangly male flesh to give them positive reinforcement that’ll make them feel REALLY good and encourage them to do better so they may receive more gropings. When you’re watching TV on the couch, while one hand’s fiddling with the remote, the other is idly grazing through your Typhlosion’s pubic fur, combing and curling the long tufts above his penis between your fingers and tugging on them just softly enough to billow the surrounding skin of his crotch. You don’t know how you can relax without those idle blissful purrs he makes while your hand lazily dallies between his legs. And BOY, does his asshole smell good at the end of the day-- BEFORE his bath. While you’re cooking dinner, it’s a near-nightly occurrence for your Feraligatr to stomp from behind, plant his head on your shoulder, and wrap his brawny arms around you for a rear hug. But you know not to move because that hug isn’t ending until after you feel his warm, wet knob slipping between your buttocks and humping just gently enough to use your rump as a second foreskin. Sometimes he leaves your backside white, sometimes it’s just clear and sticky, but you’ve taught him that’s what a hug is. And oh what good hugs he gives.
Let’s see, what other pokémon do you have… Aerodactyl? Eh, a rock pokémon, and about as smart as one. Basically a glorified inflatable fucktoy. Only one kind of relation he’s good at, and that’s a quick-and-easy smothering of stank and some tail-plapping so long as he gets to leave some creamy streaks on the carpet in the process. Gyarados? I dunno, lately he’s developed this weird fixation on shoving smaller pokémon up his asshole in order to get off. And boy, does he get unruly when you’ve gotten him frisky and you don’t have an Eevee or a Sandshrew to cram up his tailpipe. And you learned the hard way that using both your arms to satisfy Gyarados’s starving stinkhole runs the risk of him getting the wise idea to force his tail on YOU-- he got you waist-deep through his anal ring before you fought your way out last time! Not a great face for the party. Scyther? THAT’S an accident waiting to happen! Sure, it’s all fine while you’re bouncing on his abdomen and feeling his slimy bug cock plunging through your gut. But if those bladed arms of his aren’t lodged in a plank of wood or something when he starts bucking hard enough to slap his balls upward against you and screaming “SCCCYYYY”… Well, you’ve had enough close calls that you’ve looked into prices for functional chainmail! Maybe the first thing Lugia sees shouldn’t be front-mounted weaponry.
Typh? Gatr? You’re up.
That’s it, approach cautiously but amicably. Don’t mention any trainer. Okay, good, he seems receptive to a dialogue… Crap, he’s communicating telepathically. Can’t hear what he’s saying.
… Sweet Tyrantrum’s taint, Lugia’s fucking HUNG. Stay focused, fellas, I know that’s your thing, make sure he knows you’re not there just to gawp... Don’t point at it!
Oh god, they’re sniffing the air between his legs. I send them on a diplomatic mission, and they immediately start sniffing crotches like Growlithes at a park. Why did I think this would work? It’s all going to hell. Lugia’s leaning back, though, I guess that’s a good sign. Aw, fuck, now I can smell it… Man, that pokémon is pungent.
Nope. They’re gonna blow it. He’s exactly their type. They weren’t trained for this. I knew I should’ve spent SOME time training communication instead of orifices. It’s okay if Lugia flees; as long as he doesn’t attack we’ll be fine. Just take a deeeep breath WOW, that Lugia funk is getting strong…
What are you doing, Typh?! Are you putting your hand on his junk?! You’re gonna screw everything up! Are you PETTING IT?! It’s not a fucking Skitty, that’s LUGIA’S GODDAMN PENIS! Not you too, Gatr! Oh god, he’s kneading it like it’s pizza dough! Should I just run? Naw, I can’t leave my boys here. Ball ‘em and run? Then it’d DEFINITELY be over. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
… B-big… Bigger… Hooooly shit, HUGE. How. How did you guys do that? How did you convince Lugia to pop a massive boner in front of you? I’m never going to underestimate you two ever again. Or look at my sleeping bag the same way ever again, the resemblance is uncanny. Is Lugia… smiling? This might not be such a total disaster after all.
That is one STRETCHY pokémon foreskin. It… it just keeps going! And GOING! Look at that, they’re BOTH tugging at it! Damn, you can carry fifty dollars worth of groceries in there! …Okay, I appreciate you guys trying to give me a good view, but don’t make it look like you’re showing off Lugia’s frenulum to the rocks!
Speaking of going, goddamn they’re diving in there… that inner skin looks MIGHTY soft. Those snouts are just DISAPPEARING into Lugia’s foreskin wrinkles. Jeez, snort a little louder, why don’t you, Typh? Wow, never thought I’d see Lugia drool. Can't even imagine what all that stimulation on that much cock flesh must feel like. It looks soft, but probably also thick enough you could gnaw on it and it’d just be pleasurable for him…
Hey, there goes Feraligatr! He’s actually gnawing on it! WOW, that was one HELL of a pre spurt! Oh, look at him pant. Lugia’s in seventh heaven right now. I’ll bet if the two of them pressed their tongues on each side of Lugia’s frenulum and took a looooong lick up its length at the same time, it’d feel so good Lugia would go blind…... Oh my god, are they… are they actually doing it?! They’re gonna lick up Lugia’s frenulum together?! No way, no way, NO WAY-- …...I would be SHOCKED if they didn’t hear that all the way on the mainland. Now I know what a “screech of pure unadulterated ecstasy” sounds like.
I must really be on the same wavelength of my pokémon, they’re doing exactly all the stuff I’m hoping they will! God, they’re all so slimy and having so much fun… I wish I was there with them, hugging Lugia’s cock, snorting around in his messy foreskin with my pokébros. No way Lugia would allow a trainer to fondle his goods like that… Wait, what are you two doing? Don’t look in my direction-- STOP LOOKING IN MY DIRECTION, YOU GOOFS! Don’t let Lugia know I’m here! Are you guys waving me over? Wait, why is LUGIA beckoning me over?! What the hell is going on?!
… Oh, right. He’s psychic.
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