Well, there’s an alternate set of this piece with YOU as the Roadrunner if you so please! Give it a look!
| \r\n\t\t\t \r\n\t\t\t\t \r\n\t\t\t![Coyote's Quarry [Roadrunner version] by Dracovar](https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/large/4413/4413640_Dracovar_coyote_s_quarry_rr_noncustom.jpg "Coyote's Quarry [Roadrunner version] by Dracovar") +2 \r\n\t\t\t |
Wile E. Coyote has gone through so many changes in his look through the years. Some were, like the scruffy canine himself, pure genius! Others were… not. Some examples of “not” are the 2011 The Looney Tunes Show and the 2015 New Looney Tunes redesigns, the former being too cutesy with the transition to CG losing the flexibility required for a character who needs to be exaggerated and malleable, and the latter… I mean, I’d say look it up, but on the other hand, don’t torture yourself.
The 2020 Looney Tunes Cartoons look for him, though… there’s a design change I can get behind! The actual animation is little stiff and the gags lack some of the cleverness and irony of the originals, but as far as his new look goes… JUST LOOK AT THIS NASTY BOY. Look at those wicked eyes, those constantly-bared fangs, that psychopathic grin! The saying goes “don’t stick your dick in crazy,” but there’s no saying about letting crazy stick its dick in you! There is definitely SOMETHING going on behind those eyes, and wanna know what it is. I wanna see how twisted it is. I wanna see how unhinged it is. I WANT it to be twisted and unhinged. And I want that savage, demented, mangy beast to use me as a dumping ground for every ounce of piled-on sexual anger from every second of every day of every year of his frustrating, malcontent life. I want to feel every calorie spent in his never-ending pursuit and every iota of rage from failure through his penis flaring wildly inside of me like a heating element made of male meat trying to boil me from within like coffee. I want him to forget every moment he’s masturbated to release his disgruntlement, condense it into an atomic mass of furious, unfulfilled lust that burns like a reactor in his loins so badly that he only sees blue and yellow when he looks at me.
I think I mentioned I like bad boys at some point in the past. If I haven’t… well, I don’t really have to spell it out, do I? XD
But, it can’t all be about me. As you should know by now, my favorite Looney Toons are a triumvirate, and boy do I like pitting two particular ones against the other! Sylvester somehow found a way to make the combination of antagonistic, conniving, and cowardly so incredibly LOVABLE! But that also makes him just the perfect subject for all kinds of twisted tortures, heh heh heh! And speaking of twisted, I noticed that almost all of my past art of Wile (including non-published ones) revolved around his cock and balls. But come on... how can you have such a filthy, wild mongrel like Wile E. Coyote and not think “His asshole must smell PUNGENT.” He’s got the kind of anus you plant both nostrils against so firmly that the only way air can get in is through the wrinkles of his sphincter so each breath picks up every foul particle of escaped coyote rectal gunk dissolved in his stale, thickened anal sweat along the way!
And you know he LIKES getting his asshole sniffed. If he didn’t, he’d take a bath from time to time! It’s just one of MANY things he’d force upon the Roadrunner should Wile ever be successful! But, in the meantime, he has much easier prey to force his odious form upon. One much less clever, and most importantly, one much slower. Oh, Sylvester… how do you keep ending up in these situations? You’re almost as unlucky as your tormentor! Maybe it’s the company you keep. Maybe it’s that huge nose of yours that’s just RIPE for abuse. Get it? Ripe? Like Wile’s asshole? I crack myself up!
Which reminds me… your birthday is coming up, Sylv! And it’s only two days away from you-know-who’s… my third favorite Looney Toon and another bad boy who likes to make you squirm. I don’t know what he has in store for you, but whatever it is, it’s sure to be DETHHFFPPICABLE.
Check out the alternate Roadrunner version linked above for more! ‘Cause doesn’t Wile deserve a win every once in a while?
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