{ "submission_id": "1609554", "keywords": [ { "keyword_id": "202816", "keyword_name": "artwork (digital)", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "33449" }, { "keyword_id": "219", "keyword_name": "balls", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "160938" }, { "keyword_id": "1209", "keyword_name": "bdsm", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "24244" }, { "keyword_id": "4013", "keyword_name": "beastiality", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "1944" }, { "keyword_id": "378", "keyword_name": "bondage", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "74712" }, { "keyword_id": "287", "keyword_name": "cock", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "129515" }, { "keyword_id": "60317", "keyword_name": "donkey kong country", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "443" }, { "keyword_id": "219927", "keyword_name": "enguarde", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "5" }, { "keyword_id": "121", "keyword_name": "fanart", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "53559" }, { "keyword_id": "1306", "keyword_name": "fish", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "8861" }, { "keyword_id": "165", "keyword_name": "male", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "1219041" }, { "keyword_id": "1951", "keyword_name": "rule 34", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "17741" }, { "keyword_id": "12234", "keyword_name": "swordfish", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "43" }, { "keyword_id": "1450", "keyword_name": "zoophilia", "contributed": "f", "submissions_count": "2696" } ], "hidden": "f", "scraps": "f", "favorite": "f", "favorites_count": "26", "create_datetime": "2018-05-18 21:29:35.765741+00", "create_datetime_usertime": "18 May 2018 23:29 CEST", "last_file_update_datetime": "2021-04-29 19:41:44.836664+00", "last_file_update_datetime_usertime": "29 Apr 2021 21:41 CEST", "username": "Dracovar", "user_id": "497699", "user_icon_file_name": "145272_Dracovar_dracovar.gif", "user_icon_url_large": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/usericons/large/145/145272_Dracovar_dracovar.gif", "user_icon_url_medium": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/usericons/medium/145/145272_Dracovar_dracovar.gif", "user_icon_url_small": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/usericons/small/145/145272_Dracovar_dracovar.gif", "file_name": "3564977_Dracovar_enguarde_off_guard.png", "file_url_full": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/files/full/3564/3564977_Dracovar_enguarde_off_guard.png", "file_url_screen": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/files/screen/3564/3564977_Dracovar_enguarde_off_guard.png", "file_url_preview": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/files/preview/3564/3564977_Dracovar_enguarde_off_guard.jpg", "thumbnail_url_huge_noncustom": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/files/preview/3564/3564977_Dracovar_enguarde_off_guard.jpg", "thumbnail_url_large_noncustom": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/large/3564/3564977_Dracovar_enguarde_off_guard_noncustom.jpg", "thumbnail_url_medium_noncustom": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/medium/3564/3564977_Dracovar_enguarde_off_guard_noncustom.jpg", "thumb_medium_noncustom_x": "120", "thumb_medium_noncustom_y": "120", "thumb_large_noncustom_x": "200", "thumb_large_noncustom_y": "200", "thumb_huge_noncustom_x": "300", "thumb_huge_noncustom_y": "300", "files": [ { "file_id": "3564977", "file_name": "3564977_Dracovar_enguarde_off_guard.png", "file_url_full": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/files/full/3564/3564977_Dracovar_enguarde_off_guard.png", "file_url_screen": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/files/screen/3564/3564977_Dracovar_enguarde_off_guard.png", "file_url_preview": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/files/preview/3564/3564977_Dracovar_enguarde_off_guard.jpg", "mimetype": "image/png", "submission_id": "1609554", "user_id": "497699", "submission_file_order": "0", "full_size_x": "3000", "full_size_y": "3000", "screen_size_x": "920", "screen_size_y": "920", "preview_size_x": "300", "preview_size_y": "300", "initial_file_md5": "4481dfa65327ef84c22beee627fc7ddd", "full_file_md5": "6aa019b9a365366bf6881a42dbfaf657", "large_file_md5": "cbc6fdc6355ce06d25da6f63587391e2", "small_file_md5": "c37003e4543c401a98bdb9203e60cf20", "thumbnail_md5": "49191217d1546a0896b215fbb2237e9f", "deleted": "f", "create_datetime": "2021-04-29 19:41:44.836664+00", "create_datetime_usertime": "29 Apr 2021 21:41 CEST", "thumbnail_url_huge_noncustom": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/files/preview/3564/3564977_Dracovar_enguarde_off_guard.jpg", "thumbnail_url_large_noncustom": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/large/3564/3564977_Dracovar_enguarde_off_guard_noncustom.jpg", "thumbnail_url_medium_noncustom": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/medium/3564/3564977_Dracovar_enguarde_off_guard_noncustom.jpg", "thumb_medium_noncustom_x": "120", "thumb_medium_noncustom_y": "120", "thumb_large_noncustom_x": "200", "thumb_large_noncustom_y": "200", "thumb_huge_noncustom_x": "300", "thumb_huge_noncustom_y": "300" } ], "pools": [ { "pool_id": "51800", "name": "Rule 34", "description": "Fanart and dicks! Doesn't get any better than that!", "count": "148", "submission_left_submission_id": "1609558", "submission_left_file_name": "2292348_Dracovar_25855323.png", "submission_left_thumbnail_url_huge": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/huge/2292/2292348_Dracovar_25855323.jpg", "submission_left_thumbnail_url_large": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/large/2292/2292348_Dracovar_25855323.jpg", "submission_left_thumbnail_url_medium": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/medium/2292/2292348_Dracovar_25855323.jpg", "submission_left_thumb_huge_x": "237", "submission_left_thumb_huge_y": "300", "submission_left_thumb_large_x": "158", "submission_left_thumb_large_y": "200", "submission_left_thumb_medium_x": "95", "submission_left_thumb_medium_y": "120", "submission_left_thumbnail_url_huge_noncustom": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/files/preview/2292/2292348_Dracovar_25855323.jpg", "submission_left_thumbnail_url_large_noncustom": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/large/2292/2292348_Dracovar_25855323_noncustom.jpg", "submission_left_thumbnail_url_medium_noncustom": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/medium/2292/2292348_Dracovar_25855323_noncustom.jpg", "submission_left_thumb_medium_noncustom_x": "95", "submission_left_thumb_medium_noncustom_y": "120", "submission_left_thumb_large_noncustom_x": "158", "submission_left_thumb_large_noncustom_y": "200", "submission_left_thumb_huge_noncustom_x": "237", "submission_left_thumb_huge_noncustom_y": "300", "submission_right_submission_id": "1609553", "submission_right_file_name": "3555108_Dracovar_170522_-_migelo.png", "submission_right_thumbnail_url_huge_noncustom": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/files/preview/3555/3555108_Dracovar_170522_-_migelo.jpg", "submission_right_thumbnail_url_large_noncustom": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/large/3555/3555108_Dracovar_170522_-_migelo_noncustom.jpg", "submission_right_thumbnail_url_medium_noncustom": "https://nl1.ib.metapix.net/thumbnails/medium/3555/3555108_Dracovar_170522_-_migelo_noncustom.jpg", "submission_right_thumb_medium_noncustom_x": "102", "submission_right_thumb_medium_noncustom_y": "120", "submission_right_thumb_large_noncustom_x": "170", "submission_right_thumb_large_noncustom_y": "200", "submission_right_thumb_huge_noncustom_x": "255", "submission_right_thumb_huge_noncustom_y": "300" } ], "description": "[i]Originally Submitted to FurAffinity.net on Oct 19th, 2017 06:37 PM.[/i]\n\nSome people add knots to everything. For me, it's balls and/or foreskin. May as well, already broke the seal by giving him a cock in the first place. I know, I ruin everything.\n\nNow imagine yourself as a Kremling on a ship. It's been weeks since you ported, you've been eating nothing but the same stale food ever since, and your crewmates are becoming agitated and demoralized by a lack of loot. And who do you have to blame for it? Not your fellow pirates, but some flea-ridden ape riding a swordfish! Talk about insult to injury.\n\nBut one day, using a seized fishing vessel to replenish food supplies, fortune smiles upon you as the cursed gorilla's aquatic mount writhes inside the net, tangled and helpless! After you and your crew tie his tail and hoist him up for all to see and mock, he is yours to do as you please. Sure, your fellow pirates shout things like \"A feast of swordfish!\" or \"stuff him and mount him!\" and other grizzly whims of revenge for all the pain he has caused. But surely, there must a better use for him!\n\nFor instance, why merely deny the overgrown chimp of his seafaring steed when you can provide your entire crew with their own? Ones with the strength, speed, and agility that has so deftly defeated you and your fellow Kremlings so often in the past; King K. Rool would rule the waters! Control the ocean, control the trade, control the world. It's such a good suggestion, the choice is obvious! And your fellow Kremlings agree.\n\nOf course, harvesting the seed needed to bring those plans to fruition would mean getting it out of Enguarde first! Such a task requires someone to slip their hands inside all manners of moist places beneath his tail. It will involve locating Enguarde's floppy pink appendage inside its gooey dwelling; kneading his pliable pecker as it stiffens and grows out of its fishy hidey-hole; continuing to do so even even after it's swollen into a rigid, knobbed swordfish schlong; and fingering, squeezing, and yanking any part of it necessary to fill the bucket with his genetic material. Probably multiple times a day.\n\n\"Ain't gonna lie, it's a disgusting, demeaning task. Who's gonna be the one to do it?\" you ask your fellow crewmates, all of whom look at you with a finger pressed to the tips of their noses.", "description_bbcode_parsed": "Originally Submitted to FurAffinity.net on Oct 19th, 2017 06:37 PM.

Some people add knots to everything. For me, it's balls and/or foreskin. May as well, already broke the seal by giving him a cock in the first place. I know, I ruin everything.

Now imagine yourself as a Kremling on a ship. It's been weeks since you ported, you've been eating nothing but the same stale food ever since, and your crewmates are becoming agitated and demoralized by a lack of loot. And who do you have to blame for it? Not your fellow pirates, but some flea-ridden ape riding a swordfish! Talk about insult to injury.

But one day, using a seized fishing vessel to replenish food supplies, fortune smiles upon you as the cursed gorilla's aquatic mount writhes inside the net, tangled and helpless! After you and your crew tie his tail and hoist him up for all to see and mock, he is yours to do as you please. Sure, your fellow pirates shout things like "A feast of swordfish!" or "stuff him and mount him!" and other grizzly whims of revenge for all the pain he has caused. But surely, there must a better use for him!

For instance, why merely deny the overgrown chimp of his seafaring steed when you can provide your entire crew with their own? Ones with the strength, speed, and agility that has so deftly defeated you and your fellow Kremlings so often in the past; King K. Rool would rule the waters! Control the ocean, control the trade, control the world. It's such a good suggestion, the choice is obvious! And your fellow Kremlings agree.

Of course, harvesting the seed needed to bring those plans to fruition would mean getting it out of Enguarde first! Such a task requires someone to slip their hands inside all manners of moist places beneath his tail. It will involve locating Enguarde's floppy pink appendage inside its gooey dwelling; kneading his pliable pecker as it stiffens and grows out of its fishy hidey-hole; continuing to do so even even after it's swollen into a rigid, knobbed swordfish schlong; and fingering, squeezing, and yanking any part of it necessary to fill the bucket with his genetic material. Probably multiple times a day.

"Ain't gonna lie, it's a disgusting, demeaning task. Who's gonna be the one to do it?" you ask your fellow crewmates, all of whom look at you with a finger pressed to the tips of their noses.", "writing": "", "writing_bbcode_parsed": "", "pools_count": 1, "title": "Enguarde Off-Guard", "deleted": "f", "public": "t", "mimetype": "image/png", "pagecount": "1", "rating_id": "2", "rating_name": "Adult", "ratings": [ { "content_tag_id": "4", "name": "Sexual Themes", "description": "Erotic imagery, sexual activity or arousal", "rating_id": "2" } ], "submission_type_id": "1", "type_name": "Picture/Pinup", "guest_block": "t", "friends_only": "f", "comments_count": "0", "views": "275" }